Nebraska advertiser. (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882, November 04, 1858, Image 1
j- i j , i rf y i A; Ay ax- Ay a g-' y Ay -.v y, t - . ' DEVOTED TO ART, SCIENCE, AGEICULTUKE, COMMEBCE, NEWS, POLITICS, GENERAL INTELLIGENCE AND THE' INTERESTS OF NEBRASKA. CITY OP BROWNVILLE, "NEMAHA COUNTY, N. T., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 1858. VOL. Ul. NO. 19. III -N V ' J. V 1 J -tVULltHiV VET XtKViOAX MY S.VW. FUKNAS, ai Story Hoailey & Muir's Building, (Cl-msr of od Fir.t Street.) muWNTvirxirT ooeyra pni .fT' months 250 attuoendot dmontns. 12 " tvv ill be forniAedtt $1,50 per h accompanies m vrucr, laerwie. RITES OF JLDVLttTISlSO: v,rl') l.nzi .rlesnjone insertion, i dJit'unal insertion, $1,00 0,50 2,50 4,00 6,00 12,00 5,00 60,00 55,00 2Q.C0 16,00 Buare, one month, three months, six niwntbs, one year, C ird f ix lines or Iess,one year, C-iiama one jear, half Column, one year, fourth " i;Uh - " ;iauin,ix montus, -s'f CUinn, fix uj .iilts, fjr:h - .. eixhth r C .laroi three Booths, hi'f t:,iu n, tbree rantb?, .i..u a 20.00 10.no e,oo 20,00 13,00 10,00 6,00 ...ur, lar -.nlilitrj f.,r o(Se Hn dTtnce,) 5,00 -,-, ,n alTin-e illbreia;re.lf.rlldrerti8e- st et-ei.t where rtal renonnbiiuj is rve rttet. . . i -.Iwti'-rajnt will)e-.onMered by the year. .nyiSf l n tbi ininaript(or prenously s 1 up n b-twrcnth parties. Iver.i ranUB t mirkdon theeopy forpec i. ouui'wjrof iijjrri.ms, will l.e jontinued until ered out, and charged accordingly 1 jt.m - n sau fr . n t'r tn jer? ir'ransient per s.t bt rid in u lTtnc. Tie w;ril.r yurly ijvcrtiser willow eonnn r.lHj their own huin v:nd all lrerti?e .muoi perttining thereto, to be paid for ex- early tdrertifeM bare the privitf geof ehanging eirwdrrrtimeut quarterly. I'l lvl vlrertiitinenti charged double the '.re rate. - i Tint n the Inside exduielj will be fcrged extra. ' BOOH AIID FAITCT TOB PRINTING! 1 5 1 A l'v-n iiiiotjie Advertiser OiSce Card and rVe.'w Type f the latest ryles, Inks f 1 w-.Hr:i:ii. "'in Paper, Knvcltp-s, 4e. : we j mf nr-'iiirod ti execute Job VVnrk of every de iifia i i 'r!fi unsurpassed by any other office th l,oitJ StJf. I'u-ti uiir t-D(i.m will beivento orders from Ii-itta! in hi'inxbein pntmptly attended to. Te J'n irict ir, hnvinjjj had o ixtensive expe ri."e". witl jive their personal attention to this aTchnf boins, and hore, in their endeavors to ee'. bt.th in the excellence f their work, nd "nU ;bargeK t reeeire a hare of the jiublic BUSINESS CARDS. MISS MAIIV 'TURNER, v r r f ' ULUHER A!1D DRESS MAKER. ain Sfret. or r1or above Carsons Bank. o;itia$ and Criinmiriirx always or. hand. u. c. jomrsorr, 1TTORNEY AT LAW, SOLICITOR IN CHANCERY A XI) Real Efitatc Agent, BROWNVILLE, X. T. REFERENCES. . Hon.VTm.Jessup, Montrose, Pa. : ' 11. S. Hent!v, . John C. Miller, Chicago, 111. Win.K. Mol!ister, M Charts F. Fowler, " H. W. Furnas, Urownrille.X.T. (. F Luke,' . 44 . May 7. l57. 47-1 y E. I.IATHIETJ. abinet & Wagon-IIaker Tiun kreet. ht. 8ixth and Seventh RIIOWXVILLE. X.T. VI kir.,l r.f obinet w,.rk tiea'ly exe-nted. . t-pinu of -ens' piow. etc., promptly done. I , . John Mcdonough -Iousg, Sign, & Orhimontal Painter, GLAZIER, fc. ' nuoTrxviixc, t, ly Vr can l left at the City Drug Store. Ji !. D.H.&B. B. THOMPSON -1 LMatf & Gf neral ol'ecting Agents BBOWNVILLTO, N. T- '?tnts for Iowa Ins. Co.,0skaloos3, ' tenets entrtuted to our cre will meet with "inattention and warranted correct. Papers prepar rer witiin to pre-empt. Declaratory state aetas made out, etc., etc. p-Offlc a Ftrat atrm, north of I. T. Wfcyte & Co. ! . RErERRExcE8: 1 J i i,nm. x-verncr Iowa , . t Missouri J AuiaALing Ql)- d0 t S.. kirre k. r i t.. r, . 9 v. ifu m .cfi T Council BiUffs, Iowa &. ISM. v2n4My OHK. F. UN-VET. CHAR. F. BOLLT. KINNEY & HOLLY, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, i XEIIRASIIACITV,X T. m pracuc in ite Cnrta f tbi Territory Collec i I.?,? ncrininal bumpti attended U throughout K lre,"rn ' and Missouri. Will attend the , m E. S. DUNDY, ATTORNEY AT LAW, .... CBt, R"tHDSOK CO. If. T. t- ,',''ir"''in the everl Court r-4 ' i I and attrtwt tn .11 IV,. 4,1 Jr,A ! "!! OT cay, ' 10. ;67-IMf trcportant Suits G. W. V7HEELER. ArciiUct and Builder, SrowavUlo, re, DANIEL L. McGARY, EHY'lTLMV. AND SOLICITOR LY CHANCER Y. Brownville, Nebraska. Will practice In tie Courts of Xet.rask,and Xorth west Xiasouri. , REFERENCES. Messrs. Crow, KcCreary . Co., St. LoTiii, Mo. Hun. James V. II otitis, - - . p Hn J'ihn R. Sheply, - - Do ' lion. James Craift, .. .. St. Joseph, Mo. lion. Situ Wo-dsn, - - Do Judze A. A. Bradford, Nebraska City, N. T. S. F. Nnckollt, Esq., : ,- Do E.. L. DODGE, ATTORNEY ATLAW AND SOLICITOR IN CUAXCERY, BROTTXVILLE, XEDR4SKA. Land Warrants bought and sold. ' Pre-emption papers carefullyandcorrectly prepared. OFFICE on Main street, in Brywn and Bennett's Bank ing House. KKFEKENCE3 II'a Fenner Ferguson, ' R. W. Furnas " R Brown Kinney k Holley lion. James Craip, Nave. McCord h. Co. Clark It Conrad. July 8, 1858-v3n2-Iy Bel Ievue. Nebraska. Bruwtiville, Nebraska City St. Joseph Mo. NEW GROCERY PROVISION HOUSE, BT J. ILmOERISON, AT THE Old Stand of M. F. CLARK, BROWNVILLE, N. T., Where can be found a full supply of Family Groceries Hum and Bacon. Mckrel and Cod Fit-h Teas, Sugar, Coffee Candies Nuts. Wme Crackers ijdCbese Liquors ad Wines Sardines, Cisars and Tubacoo. Oysters and Lutererk. Peacbes, Prunes. Blackberries and Wtortle berries and all articles usral.y kept in a Fancy Grocer Store which be will sell for cash or produce as cheap as the cheapai. Will you give me a share of your coutiuuwd patruuage. Brownuille July I5th 1858. v3n 0. 333IiTlaI33Z:iVr, ATTOBIIEY AT LAW, BBOWimiLE, N. T. Will write deeds of every kind and contracts for eyery purp,se. wi;b warranted lega: accuracy. OiT.ce, in the Bankimt Hn1 ! LUf tiDaugn & uarson. EKFEK TO Hon. John A. Bingham Cadiz, W K Carter, Cleveland, ' RPSpilding. " B F Leiter, Canton, S Lahra. Ohio. n Wm R Sapp Mt. Tnn, 8 PCb-se. Columbns, Thoa. Ford. Mansfield, Jas. Craig. St. Joseph, Mo. - Br4.wnvill, OcU S2d. 'c7.-. Tanll-iy O. B. HEWETT, ATTORNEY AT LAW AND REAL ESTATE AGENT, Brownrille, coraska. Will attend to business in ail departments of his pro fession. Pre -emotors Rights Fenired. Land Warrants for Sale. Office on Firet St., bet. Main and Water. REKERRETCES: Kinney fc Hoi ley Nebraska City. Cbeever Sweet J. Co., do J. Sterling Morton do Brwn & Benuett, Brownville R. W. Furnas do Brownville N. T. May 13 1858. vtn6tf IJEMAHA LAND AGENT, SLRTETOR & NOTARY PUDLIC, Will select iands, "investigate titles, pay taxes &c, either -,o Kansas or Nelrnska; buy. sell and enter :ndR.in cimmission; invest in luwn property buy or sell the same and w iil always have on hand correct plats oi townships counties &c. showing all land sub ject to entry, and where desired will lurnisn parties liv ing in the states with the taiue. Being the oldest settler in the county will in ail cases be able to give full and reliable information. Address A. L- Coate, either at Brownvilleor Aemaha City, Nebraska Territory. 6m-42-v2 RANDALS. G0ULEY & CO- PRODUCE BROKERS AHD COMMISSION M ERCH ANTS. St. Louis, Missouri Orders for merchandise sclicited, and promptlv flMed at the lowest rates. All kinds of produce bought or sold on 4 mmUl.rti. September 23. 1S58 ly. - A. D. KIRK, Attorney at Law, Land A great and Xotary Public. Archer, Richardson Co., V. T. Will iractiretn the Courts of Nebraska, assisted by Ilarding and Bennett. Nebraska City. LOUIS WALDTER, House, Sis;n, and Ornamental Painter, GIjAZIER. GRAINEE, , PAPER II A GER, BROWN VILLE, N. T. -Take this method or informing the public that he has removed hi paint shop from semaba City to this place lie think himcelf qualified to undertake any woik per taining to hi liue of business, and respectfully invites the public to frive him a call. Plea leave orders at the "Advertiser" offlce." Nov. 19. 1S57. . n21-tf W. P. LOAN, ATTORNEY AT LAW. LOT AND LAND AGENT, Archer, Richardson Count j, N. T. FENNER FERGUSON, Attorney and Counsellor -L"t Law. BELLEVUE, NEBRASKA. JAMES W. GIBSON, BLACKSMITH Second Street between Main and Vebra-ka, BROWNVILLE, N. T. ED. IT. 3XOORE, General St earn I iat Ajprofit FORWARDIXG COMMISSION MERCHANT. NEBRASKA CITY, N. T. Goods told on Commission and pr mpt returns made. Particular attention piven to receiving Storing ami Fur wardins all kind ,f freight and produce. Office on thft Levee.- ffi Biore .oce m the name block with Ketrney tlotel. Refer t the Me chants of Xel i kj Hiv: Michael St Loais .Mo; I Hari er fc. Smder St.U)Uis; Sakel.'d Finney&Co" I Borcklay, liinkle. Ca " Aprll29,ISi3 M-U-ly Warden J.jtf.c,h atctntvre ATTQ An Act To amend an Act entitled an Ad to amend an act to incorporate the toicn of Brown ville, approved Feb. 9, 1S57. Sec. 1. . Be it enacted by the Council and House of Representatives of the Territory of Nebraska, That hereafter the annual election of officers for the city of Brownville as provided for in an act approved February 9, 1857, shall be held in the same manner as therein provided, on the first Monday in April in each year. The officers elected at such elec tion shall serve for 'one year, or until their successors are elected and qualified. Sec 2. The officers elected at the el ection next preceding the passage of this act are hereby'made to serve until the next annual election as provided for in section 1st of thisact." Sec. 3. The city council of said ' city of Brownville are hereby further empow ered with exclusive authority to provide for the license and prohibition of all ball alleys or other bowling or billiard saloons also for the sale of malt, vinous and spiri tuous liquors. Provided, That m license for the sale of spirituous liquors shall be granted for a less sum than twenty-five dollars. And provided further. That the applicant shall give bonds to the' amount required by the Council in any sum not less than one thousand dollars; ail moneys arising undfr the provisions of this sec tion, shall Delong exclusively to the school fund of the. district in which said city of Brownville is or may be located. ; Sec. 4. This act to take effect from and after its passage. . Approved Oct. 18, 18-58. " . ' Stay Law. In approving this bill, Governor Ricii ardsos sent to the Council the following communication: After a careful examination of the law. I have signed and apjsrejed a bill to amecg chaptered of IheHalvs of . 1857, relatind to District Courts. The power of the Le gislature to decide everything 1 in refer ence to the remedy on contracts is un doubted, and I depart from the usual course in approving bills' in this case, and state the reasons why I i-ave approv ed of this act, Q ' The power of the Legislature to enact sections 1, 2 and 3 is undoubted..- If section 4 applied lo past contracts by positive enactment, or clear legal itQspli. cation, I could not approve it, because" it would impair the validity of contracts, and thus be in violation of the Constitu tion of the United States. As thai sec tion, in my judgment, does not apply to past contracts, and naving nououot anout the power of the Legislature to enact such a law to apply to future contracts, I have this day signed and approved this bill. w - . Singular Impulse, A little son, thirteen years old, of Brack of Wheeling. Va., having witnessed the execution of Burns, had atr uncontrolla ble desire aroused to know what sort. of a sensation hanging produced. The other day he procured a rope, made a noose, and adjusting it around his neck, threw the weight of his body on it. He was dis covered in time to save his life, but not before he had become insensible. Ht afterwards tried it on a younger brother, but the boy was rescued ere life had en tirely departed. More Big Lumps. ' We were shown, says the editor of the Columbia (Cal.) Courier, two fine speci mers of pure gold, taken out of a claim weight fifteen ounces. A larger piece uf pure cold was found on this claim two or three months since, and several large lumps have been taken out every season. This claim has taken out upwards of eighty thousand dollars in one year, of which sum the expense of , working has been some thirty thousand. Effects or Comets Look Out- Forty years ago the people ;f London beheld a great coraet. An article apptar . d in the Gentleman's Magazine, a Lon don periodical, on the supposed influence of that comet. The following were the influences summed up by the writer: "Wasps were few, flies became blind and disappeared earlv; many women brought i forth twins, and the wife of a shoemaker had four children at a birth. Why he Killed her. , IMichaei Elk, Aho murdered his wife a fewdayago, by plunging a knife into her bosom, gave as a reason for the bloody deed that she had the phtisic, and had kept him awake all nijrht by her hard breathing. He would, he said, kill any- body who would disturb his rest. Michael must be blessed with au c sweet and amiable disposition. James Boon, aged eighty-five years, an icmate of the poor-house at Kingston, Leuoir county, North Carolina, with his family, consisting of a wife and three children, has inherited a handsome estate amounting to 6150,000, and no mistake. Hon. Benjamin F. Butler, formerly Attorney-General of the United States, sailed on the 14th ult, with daughters, in the steamer two of his Arago, for Havre, intending to pass a year or two abroad. It is not easy to straighten in the oak the crook that grew in the sapling. Some of the ladies of Nev: lork are, , - . - . adopting tae profession of dentistry. Correspondence of the St. Louis Democrat. The Platte Gold Region. A Eeliable Account of th3 Oo!d Country and . . the Prospects for Mining. - NO GOLD AT PIKE'S PEAK. Explanation of unfavorable Reports that havereached us. The Llines as they really are . About the XXoute, the Scenes, the several Com . , . paniea, the Time to go, &c . . ;LavFencexK.T.yOs. 19, 1858. Having just returned f rom . the gold mines of Western Kansas, and having seen a few and heard many contradictory reports in regard to them, I make haste on. the very hour of my arrival to give you the truth in relation to the whole matter. I left Eastern Kansas on the 25th of May last, with the company fa miliarly known on the plains as the "Lawrence Company," for the express purpose of finding the gold that we have for several years heard was deposited in the mountains. Y '.' THE ROUTE. We took the route, by the Santa Fe trail up the Arkansas, and on the 13th of June reached Walnut Creek, at Allison's ranch., At that place we learned that there werp two companies in advance of us bound on tthe same errand. One of these companies was composed of men from the Cherokee Nation, and Western Arkansas, called the "Cherokee Compa ny," and commanded by Col. Beck ; the other was composed of men from Ray and Bates counties, Missouri and was called, I think, the "Ray County Company." and commanded by Capt. Doke. I speak of these two companies thus particularly for reasons which the latter part of this com munication will disclose. We followed after these companies, passing Bent's Fort on the 28th of June, and arriving at the Fontaine qui boville on the 4th of Ju ly, meanwhile hearing nothing of the companies in advance of us. On the next morning, July 5th, we met two wagons which had been a part of the Cherokee Company. They reported that disnfleo tion had arisen among the Cherokees; that thev were angry with Capt. Beck because they could not make $20 per day as they alleged he had told them; that they thought he would be killed; that jjiey"had worked hard, prospecting the Fhtte and Cherry Creek five whole days;1 that they could not make more than "two bits pef day; that they "had farms and - . WW niters at home, and home they were going." .We passed them not very much dUcouraged, notwithstanding their ;;yery thorough prospecting of the country. . NO GOLD AT PIKE'S PEAK. On the 9th of July, we arrived at the base of Pike's Peak' and on the next day commenced prospecting. We remained there five days, and did not find a trace of gold, and. at the end of that time our old miners said they were satisfied there was no gold there, as there was no quartz, no bed rock, except the surface rock, with the old red sandstone and miraceous gra nite, and no indications of gold about the soil. THE PLATTE COLD REGION. On the morning of July 13, we "rolled out" for the Platte, and at noon arrived at "Jim's Camp," .fifteen miles from Pike's Peak. There we were met by Capt. Doke, of the Ray county company, and a few of his men. He reported that he had been prospecting the South Platte for two or three weeks; that they "found gold everywhere," that he thought "it might be madeto pay, if his men would only stick to it, but that they were discou raged and were returning home;" and he added, "When I can get a party of men 'hat will stuk I shall return." We camp ed together at noon, and then it was agreed that we should join our forces and send a party over the mountains into the South Park. W e did so, and sent th party under the command of Capt. Doke, and the guidance of a Mexican. That party returned after an absence of eight days, having accomplished nothing. Af ter this unsuccessful effort, the enthusiasm of the combined remnants of the "Chero kee" and "Ray county" companies,, was at a low point; "and as they sat around the camp-fires teihng their stones and singing the songs of home, it soon be came evident that their days of gold-hun ting were Learly over, aud sure enough, for on the morning of the 25th of July ten of the twelve wagons composing their train "pulled out" for the States. UNFAVORABLE REPORTS. Among the members of the company who left, was a Mr. Sraedley, who had made a fortune in California. After he was in the saddle, ready to start, I heard him say that "he was not by any means 1 a satisned witn tne prospecting mat bad been d ne, and that he thought the mines on the South Platte might be made to pay;" and yet I understand that this same Mr. Smedley has published a letter, in w hich he says the mines are a humbug: (I have not seen the letter, and but very few newspaper articles on the subject having arrived but a few hours since.) Capt. Beck said on the same morning, that "he believed if his men were obliged to - i dig for money to take thera home, they could take out ten dollars per day to the man," and then I have within twenty-four hours, been referred to him that the mines were a humbug. But more of ; this soon. We remained near Pike's Peak for. two longer, and then went to New! Mexico: at which time 12th of Anmistl i . . . - J six men who had gone oat with the Law rence company, and two who had gone out with the Rav county company, left for the States, by way of Bent's Fort. About I tne same time,, two men or tae latter company left, by way of the Republican, making in all about sixty men that left for the States before any considerable amount of gold had been taken from the mine. I have been thus particular in describing our movements, in order . that I might explain the reports that have been recently published, giving discoura ging accounts of the mines; ' V Of Mr. Smedleys 1 report-1 have al ready spoken. He , admitted ; when he left that the work had not been half done.., I have also spoken of Capt. Beck, Now', -1' suppose that you, Mr. Editor, ' might ask any one of those sixty men about the mines, and in every case they would tell you that "the thing was all a humbug, thit they had just, returned from there, and that they could not make day wages,' and with a few exceptions they would be honest in what they tell you, and you would honestly. publish their re port; when a few facts would explain the whole matter. . A copy of the Weekly Democrat, of Oct. 12th, is before me, in which I find a letter from some Kansas City gold hunters, dated Council Grove, in which they speak of meeting men re turning from Pike's Peak, who brought discouraging reports of the mines. You will notice that I have spoken above of eight or ten men leaving us on August 12th, and this letter from Council Grove is dated Sept. 25th, which would be about the time they would arrive at that point, and. well they might give discouraging accounts of the mines for they had but $1 or $2 worth of gold, not as they said the product of a summer's hard labor," but the product of a summer's folly, in running after Mexican stories, combined with less than one hour's washing with a pan. Let those men who wrote that let- ter irom iouncu urove "pusn on, as they say they are "determined' to do," and they are "all right." Again I see among the news by the Salt Lake mail that "at Laramie a gen tleman was seen just from the mines who said that the mines were a humbug that while a man was making $1.50 he would spend $2.00. Now I happen to know the gentleman spoken of, because between the 1st and 20th of September only one man went from the mines to Laramie, and I know that he never work ea a day m tne mines; ne belonged to a class that live without work, and went to Laramie at the invitation of the miners, presented in the shape of a resolution adopted at a public meeting, and in the words of the resolution he "departed in two hours." But I see that I am prolong ing this communication to an unreasonable length, and the express is about to leave. My "object in 'writing thu9 far has been to contradict the discouraging ; reports, of the last few days. Now a word about the MINES AS. THEY REALLY ARE. no worK nas yet oeen done mere no claims to any extent have been made the time has been spent in 'prospecting with pans a half-day here and a half-day there. No man has found apiece 'twen ty-three ounces,' one ounce, or (to my knowledge) one pennyweight. To the best of ray knowledgeinformation and oeiiei, no man maae sixteen dollars in - j lis one day. The men who were there when I left were working with pans, carried their dirt from four to seventy rods, and made from $2.50 to So. 00 per day. The better way for vour readers to judge of the yield of the mines, is to know the "prospect of the pan." I have seen $1.50 in a single pan a few times 40 to 60 cents frequently, and hardly less than 8 to 10 cents. Californians will tell you that with three ceuts to the panful they can make good wages. The Californians in our party say, that wheu they can get sluices arranged,. they can make every ,y they work $15. . There, then, you have the whole story. Unless some new "diggings" have been discovered since Sept. 20th, you can put it down all reports of wages higher than $10 as extravagaut, and receive them with a "leetle grain of allowance." If your readers are satisfied with wages under that sum, let them go there, and they will make it. There is room enough for twenty thousand mining claims. The gold is "wash gold," and is in the opinion of the wisest heads in the mountains, out tne beginning oi next year's discoveries. Every man there that has had any experience in mining is sa tisfied with the prospect for the next sea son, and some of them extremely enthu siastic. THE TIME TO GO TO THE MINES. I would advise no person to start for the mines after this date until spring. I think some have gone two or three weeks too late to escape hardships, but this will do for the present. I will soon furnish your readers with further information in re gard to the mines, routes, &c. I maybe permitted to remark that I have heard that some of those who have come in from the mines have received hundreds of let ters daily in regard to. details, camping places, &c. No person can afford to an swer all the inquiries of that kind for no thing, however much he may wish to ac commodate the public, for it would take all his own time and two or three assis- tams oesiues. i nave Kept an accurate journal of the route up the Arkansas, along the mountains and down the Platte creeks, camping-places, &,c, and shall be . .i j ti i . happy to accommodate any person to a reasonable extent with the information in i mv possession, if thpv will' add , J I " J - 1 Lawrence; K. T. W. B. a8$os. Miscrflaneons. Mrs. Kelly Is asked for her Name. Among the arrests made recently, was that of Mrs. Kelly for intoxication. Mrs. Kelly is a talkative little body, and shock ingly given to one idea. We give her examination: "What's your name V "As dacint a woman as the sun irer shone upon. I've lived in Albany twelve years come next Michaelmas I know it by the token, that the Sunday before we waked O'Neil." "What is your name?" "My char-ac-ther is as good as any wo man's in the State. If you think I'm ly in call on Mrs. Manning a devil a nicer woman than Mrs. -Manning ever flirted a house-cloth or peeled a pratie. "Stop that rigmarole, and give me your name." "Stop what ! my rigmarole ? And what's my rigmarole done that you should throw slurs on a dacint woman? Would ye take advantage of my wakeness, ye gray-head ed old coon, ye ? " Will you give me your name?" "Me what ?" "Your name." "And perhaps you think I have not got one. ttedad, i ve as good a name as iver came to Ameriky, and I'm not ashamed of it." "Will you give it to me ?" "I'd see you to the devil first! I'd net bemean the Kellys to that degree as to tell yees I'm one of 'em." "Then your name is Kelly?" "And who slathered that out ? Show me the blackguard, and 111 dust his coat with a poker." "Never mind all that. Mrs. Kelly you were found intoxicated." "And who paid for the rum? Not you, ye ould vilyan, ye." "It matters not who paid for the .rum. You drank it, and then committed a breach of the peace, for doing which I sentence vou to iail for ten days." "And dare you send a Kelly to jail for takin a little wake gin, to get the wind from her heart?" "Certainly, a Kelly or any other per son, if they violate the laws. Clinton, take her off." "Clinton undertook to do so, but got so entangled with Mrs. Kelly's legs, that the pair fell down the stairs, breaking officer Clinton s watch knee-pan and suspenders. Mrs. Kelly is now in iail, but threatens to take it out of the "ould vilyan's skin, the first time she meets him, with a mop handle. A Somnambulic Excentriclty A short time since a wealthy lady, who has an only son, called on Professor Pen coast. The latter, it should be remem bered, rarely visits patients, but receives them in the office. On this occasion, however. Prof. P. complied with this re quest, and was ushered into the presence of Mrs. Smith. After the usual compli ments, Mrs. Smith opened the following conversation : "I wish to consult you, doctor concern ing ray son George, you ' know." "Oh! yes, madam," said the Professor, but he is surely not sick ?" "Why, sir, there are no acute symp toms, but for a month past he has been afflicted with somnambulism, and we fear that unless the tendency is corrected, the most serious consequences may arise." 'Ah, indeed! You say he has walked in his sleep for'a month past?". "Yes, sir." "And never did previous to that?" "No, sir." The doctor mused. "Of what does your family consist?" he asked. "Myself and my son, the two kitchen servants, and Celeste, the chambermaid, who only came last month. Just at tins moment the last named person entered. She was a plump, rosy lipped girl, who waited upon Mrs. Smith. When she had left the room, Mrs. S. remarked : - "That's my new chambermaid, doctor : interesting girl, is she not?" "x es, madam, particularly so. I think you said she had been with you about a month, did you not ?" - "Yes, sir." "Then, madam," said the doctor, rising and taking his hat, "allow me to assure you that any apprehensions of your son's health would be superfluous. As long as that young woman's rocm is accessible to George, I fancy his somnambulic habits will continue. And, madam," continued the doctor, "under the present circum stances, I really don't wonder at it." We rather imagine that that took the old lady. Gone up ender the Hoop. The West Point (Ga.) Citizen tells the following of a married man at the commencement exercises of a certain college in Georgia this summer: He s'.arttd up the stairway at a swift pace, not noticing any further until he came nearly to the top of the steps, when he says a strange sensation came over him, and suddenly he frund himself en veloped in Carknesj, as though the lights had been extinguished. He was astonished : . . . . and bewildered, lial tne mytery was i soon explained, and it appeared that a . lady, wearing a very large hoop, had raet him at the top cf the stairs, and was just m the act of descending the stairs, when cur fripnd. beintr a umall m haA with. f nut n.iMr" .tMl!,r y.. ft"' v-tJ hoop. --- Random Gems- Govern well your household. We do well to conceal cur domestic evils. We should stop the mouth cf slander by prudence. . . We should be cautious cot to tay ill that we know. He who has learned to obey, will know how to command. The prudent man avoids evil, tha cou rageous one sustains it. ' Visit your friend in misfortune; rather than in prosperity. . Be mild towards those who are thyde pcxiuam; oe not arrogant. Speak eo ill cf thv neighbor, if than wouldst not hear what wiil trouble tb.es. Make no display o: thv poai fcrtuna but, in avoiding envy, do net excits pity. The first ofnee cf prudence is to see impending evils, and prevent them. Take sains to correct the blpmiW the mind rather than those cf the face. Such as are careless of themselves win hardly be attentive to another's concern. If we considered all that other saflfcr. our own complaints would be more mo derate. ' Trust not the officious caa ttho is tU ways busying himself about the aSain cf others. " The sentence you pTtnsuses ennscti.' er, be willing to abide by yourself, in a similar case. In order to live justly asd be resper-!, we must abstain from dobg that we Hams in others. We should not be hasty ia forming est? friendships, nor in terminating thesa cf long standing. Let thy mildntrss exenss thy jwrcr; dread to be feared, We may tha raeaa not fear nor great despise. . I am pleased with the abode which tt hibits nothing superfluous, and where I find everything that is necessary. : Parents may expect from their ehHdfea the same degree of dutiful rbeharior as they themselves paid, to their own. pr rents." Counsel You have said that frhilfj walking with an umbrella orer your head, you fell into the reservoir, and was badly injured. Did you break any bones, sir. ' at that time ? Witness I did, sir. Counsel W hat bones T Witness Whalebones, air. Counsel looked funny and ordered tha witness down. ' " At the "Dress Reform Contention," ia Syracuse, Dr. Johnson told the audience that "he had seen fifteen hundred .women take off the long skirts, and put on the short skirts." A modest man, that Dr. Johnson, to stand by and see women put on "short skirts." Fie, for shame. v onder if the women knew it? ' t The following correspond ence'is said to have taken place between a New Ha ven merchant and one of his customers Sir Your account has been standing for two years, I must have it settled ia mediately. To which in reply ; Sir Things-usually da settle by stand, ing; I regret that ray account is au ex. ception. If it has been standing too lou' suppose you let it run" a little while. It is said that hundreds of greenhorn who bought stock in copper mines,. on the strength of being told that great amounts of copper had b en smelt there, wiil ne ver get a scent for their money. The la bors of miners there are said u ha ia t?eta. .-.u " A brilliant auditory, among which were many elegantly-dressed ladies, recently attended a lecture cn chemistry in Berlin. After the lecture was over, the lady por tion cf the'audiencc presestc-d a very sin- gular appearance. Some cf the gentle, fair ones, who had manufactured for them selves ivory complexions, rosy cheeks, co ral lips and ebony eye-brows, had been so' iranformed,(in consequence of the chem ical decomposition occasioned by the gas the professor had employed ir making his expe-imcn's,) that they would have excited the envy of a p-accck, their cheeks naving turned ye;Io;v, b.ue, b'ack. violet,, and various other cclors! Moral: Painted dolls should not attend chemical lectures, ( lem used to sweep out the school house and so picked up much useful , learning; so he said to Cesar: "Which do you tink is de mose useful ob de comets -de sun or de moon ?' "Well, Clem, I don't tink I should be. able toanser dat question, seeia as how I neber hab much book larnin." "Well, I sped de noon orto to takede fust rank in dat ticiar." "Why so?" "Kase de moon shines ia de cicht when we need de light, md de tiz: shines in de day time when de light am ob no Pride breakfasted with Plenty, dined with Poverty, arid supped with Infamy. Punch teaches book-keeping in three words "Never lend them." Pay the Printer.