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About Nebraska advertiser. (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 4, 1858)
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DEVOTED TO ART, SCIENCE, AGEICULTUKE, COMMEBCE, NEWS, POLITICS, GENERAL INTELLIGENCE AND THE' INTERESTS OF NEBRASKA.
CITY OP BROWNVILLE, "NEMAHA COUNTY, N. T., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 1858.
-N V ' J. V 1 J
-tVULltHiV VET XtKViOAX MY
ai Story Hoailey & Muir's Building,
(Cl-msr of od Fir.t Street.)
ooeyra pni .fT' months 250
12 " tvv
ill be forniAedtt $1,50 per
h accompanies m vrucr,
RITES OF JLDVLttTISlSO:
v,rl') l.nzi .rlesnjone insertion,
i dJit'unal insertion,
Buare, one month,
C ird f ix lines or Iess,one year,
C-iiama one jear,
half Column, one year,
i;Uh - "
-s'f CUinn, fix uj .iilts,
fjr:h - ..
C .laroi three Booths,
hi'f t:,iu n, tbree rantb?,
...ur, lar -.nlilitrj f.,r o(Se Hn dTtnce,) 5,00
-,-, ,n alTin-e illbreia;re.lf.rlldrerti8e-
et-ei.t where rtal renonnbiiuj is
rve rttet. . .
i -.Iwti'-rajnt will)e-.onMered by the year.
.nyiSf l n tbi ininaript(or prenously
s 1 up n b-twrcnth parties.
Iver.i ranUB t mirkdon theeopy forpec
i. ouui'wjrof iijjrri.ms, will l.e jontinued until
ered out, and charged accordingly
1 jt.m - n sau fr . n t'r tn jer? ir'ransient per
s.t bt rid in u lTtnc.
Tie w;ril.r yurly ijvcrtiser willow eonnn
r.lHj their own huin v:nd all lrerti?e
.muoi perttining thereto, to be paid for ex-
early tdrertifeM bare the privitf geof ehanging
I'l lvl vlrertiitinenti charged double the
'.re rate. -
i Tint n the Inside exduielj will be
' BOOH AIID FAITCT
l'v-n iiiiotjie Advertiser OiSce Card and
rVe.'w Type f the latest ryles, Inks f
1 w-.Hr:i:ii. "'in Paper, Knvcltp-s, 4e. : we
j mf nr-'iiirod ti execute Job VVnrk of every de
iifia i i 'r!fi unsurpassed by any other office
th l,oitJ StJf.
I'u-ti uiir t-D(i.m will beivento orders from
Ii-itta! in hi'inxbein pntmptly attended to.
Te J'n irict ir, hnvinjjj had o ixtensive expe
ri."e". witl jive their personal attention to this
aTchnf boins, and hore, in their endeavors to
ee'. bt.th in the excellence f their work, nd
"nU ;bargeK t reeeire a hare of the jiublic
MISS MAIIV 'TURNER,
v r r f '
ULUHER A!1D DRESS MAKER.
ain Sfret. or r1or above Carsons Bank.
o;itia$ and Criinmiriirx always or. hand.
u. c. jomrsorr,
1TTORNEY AT LAW,
SOLICITOR IN CHANCERY
Real Efitatc Agent,
BROWNVILLE, X. T.
. Hon.VTm.Jessup, Montrose, Pa.
: ' 11. S. Hent!v,
. John C. Miller, Chicago, 111.
Win.K. Mol!ister, M
Charts F. Fowler, "
H. W. Furnas, Urownrille.X.T.
(. F Luke,' . 44 .
May 7. l57. 47-1 y
abinet & Wagon-IIaker
Tiun kreet. ht. 8ixth and Seventh
VI kir.,l r.f obinet w,.rk tiea'ly exe-nted.
. t-pinu of -ens' piow. etc., promptly done.
, . John Mcdonough
-Iousg, Sign, & Orhimontal Painter,
' nuoTrxviixc, t,
ly Vr can l left at the City Drug Store. Ji
!. D.H.&B. B. THOMPSON
-1 LMatf & Gf neral ol'ecting Agents
BBOWNVILLTO, N. T-
'?tnts for Iowa Ins. Co.,0skaloos3,
' tenets entrtuted to our cre will meet with
"inattention and warranted correct. Papers prepar
rer witiin to pre-empt. Declaratory state
aetas made out, etc., etc.
p-Offlc a Ftrat atrm, north of I. T. Wfcyte & Co.
! . RErERRExcE8:
1 J i i,nm. x-verncr Iowa
, . t Missouri
J AuiaALing Ql)- d0
t S.. kirre k. r i t..
. 9 v. ifu m
.cfi T Council BiUffs, Iowa
&. ISM. v2n4My
OHK. F. UN-VET. CHAR. F. BOLLT.
KINNEY & HOLLY,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
i XEIIRASIIACITV,X T.
m pracuc in ite Cnrta f tbi Territory Collec
i I.?,? ncrininal bumpti attended U throughout K
lre,"rn ' and Missouri. Will attend the
, m E. S. DUNDY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
.... CBt, R"tHDSOK CO. If. T.
t- ,',''ir"''in the everl Court
' i I
and attrtwt tn .11
IV,. 4,1 Jr,A !
"!! OT cay,
' 10. ;67-IMf trcportant Suits
G. W. V7HEELER.
ArciiUct and Builder,
DANIEL L. McGARY,
SOLICITOR LY CHANCER Y.
Will practice In tie Courts of Xet.rask,and Xorth
west Xiasouri. ,
Messrs. Crow, KcCreary . Co., St. LoTiii, Mo.
Hun. James V. II otitis, - - . p
Hn J'ihn R. Sheply, - - Do
' lion. James Craift, .. .. St. Joseph, Mo.
lion. Situ Wo-dsn, - - Do
Judze A. A. Bradford, Nebraska City, N. T.
S. F. Nnckollt, Esq., : ,- Do
E.. L. DODGE,
SOLICITOR IN CUAXCERY,
Land Warrants bought and sold. ' Pre-emption papers
OFFICE on Main street, in Brywn and Bennett's Bank
II'a Fenner Ferguson,
' R. W. Furnas
" R Brown
Kinney k Holley
lion. James Craip,
Nave. McCord h. Co.
Clark It Conrad.
July 8, 1858-v3n2-Iy
Bel Ievue. Nebraska.
St. Joseph Mo.
Old Stand of M. F. CLARK,
BROWNVILLE, N. T.,
Where can be found a full supply of Family Groceries
Hum and Bacon. Mckrel and Cod Fit-h Teas, Sugar,
Coffee Candies Nuts. Wme Crackers ijdCbese Liquors
ad Wines Sardines, Cisars and Tubacoo. Oysters and
Lutererk. Peacbes, Prunes. Blackberries and Wtortle
berries and all articles usral.y kept in a Fancy Grocer
Store which be will sell for cash or produce as cheap as the
cheapai. Will you give me a share of your coutiuuwd
Brownuille July I5th 1858. v3n
ATTOBIIEY AT LAW,
BBOWimiLE, N. T.
Will write deeds of every kind and contracts for eyery
purp,se. wi;b warranted lega: accuracy.
OiT.ce, in the Bankimt Hn1 ! LUf tiDaugn & uarson.
Hon. John A. Bingham Cadiz,
W K Carter, Cleveland,
' RPSpilding. "
B F Leiter, Canton,
Wm R Sapp Mt. Tnn,
8 PCb-se. Columbns,
Thoa. Ford. Mansfield,
Jas. Craig. St. Joseph, Mo. -
Br4.wnvill, OcU S2d. 'c7.-. Tanll-iy
O. B. HEWETT,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
REAL ESTATE AGENT,
Will attend to business in ail departments of his pro
Pre -emotors Rights Fenired.
Land Warrants for Sale.
Office on Firet St., bet. Main and Water.
Kinney fc Hoi ley Nebraska City.
Cbeever Sweet J. Co., do
J. Sterling Morton do
Brwn & Benuett, Brownville
R. W. Furnas do
Brownville N. T. May 13 1858. vtn6tf
IJEMAHA LAND AGENT,
SLRTETOR & NOTARY PUDLIC,
Will select iands, "investigate titles, pay taxes &c,
either -,o Kansas or Nelrnska; buy. sell and enter
:ndR.in cimmission; invest in luwn property buy or
sell the same and w iil always have on hand correct
plats oi townships counties &c. showing all land sub
ject to entry, and where desired will lurnisn parties liv
ing in the states with the taiue.
Being the oldest settler in the county will in ail
cases be able to give full and reliable information.
Address A. L- Coate, either at Brownvilleor Aemaha
City, Nebraska Territory. 6m-42-v2
RANDALS. G0ULEY & CO-
COMMISSION M ERCH ANTS.
St. Louis, Missouri
Orders for merchandise sclicited, and promptlv flMed
at the lowest rates. All kinds of produce bought or sold
on 4 mmUl.rti.
September 23. 1S58 ly. -
A. D. KIRK,
Attorney at Law,
Land A great and Xotary Public.
Archer, Richardson Co., V. T.
Will iractiretn the Courts of Nebraska, assisted
by Ilarding and Bennett. Nebraska City.
House, Sis;n, and Ornamental Painter,
GIjAZIER. GRAINEE, ,
PAPER II A GER,
BROWN VILLE, N. T. -Take
this method or informing the public that he has
removed hi paint shop from semaba City to this place
lie think himcelf qualified to undertake any woik per
taining to hi liue of business, and respectfully invites
the public to frive him a call.
Plea leave orders at the "Advertiser" offlce."
Nov. 19. 1S57. . n21-tf
W. P. LOAN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
LOT AND LAND AGENT,
Archer, Richardson Count j, N. T.
Attorney and Counsellor
JAMES W. GIBSON,
Second Street between Main and Vebra-ka,
BROWNVILLE, N. T.
ED. IT. 3XOORE,
General St earn I iat Ajprofit
FORWARDIXG COMMISSION MERCHANT.
NEBRASKA CITY, N. T.
Goods told on Commission and pr mpt returns made.
Particular attention piven to receiving Storing ami Fur
wardins all kind ,f freight and produce.
Office on thft Levee.-
Biore .oce m the name block with Ketrney tlotel.
Refer t the Me chants of Xel i kj Hiv:
Michael St Loais .Mo; I Hari er fc. Smder St.U)Uis;
Sakel.'d Finney&Co" I Borcklay, liinkle. Ca "
Warden J.jtf.c,h atctntvre
To amend an Act entitled an Ad to amend
an act to incorporate the toicn of Brown
ville, approved Feb. 9, 1S57.
Sec. 1. . Be it enacted by the Council
and House of Representatives of the
Territory of Nebraska, That hereafter
the annual election of officers for the city
of Brownville as provided for in an act
approved February 9, 1857, shall be held
in the same manner as therein provided,
on the first Monday in April in each
year. The officers elected at such elec
tion shall serve for 'one year, or until
their successors are elected and qualified.
Sec 2. The officers elected at the el
ection next preceding the passage of this
act are hereby'made to serve until the
next annual election as provided for in
section 1st of thisact."
Sec. 3. The city council of said ' city
of Brownville are hereby further empow
ered with exclusive authority to provide
for the license and prohibition of all ball
alleys or other bowling or billiard saloons
also for the sale of malt, vinous and spiri
tuous liquors. Provided, That m license
for the sale of spirituous liquors shall be
granted for a less sum than twenty-five
dollars. And provided further. That the
applicant shall give bonds to the' amount
required by the Council in any sum not
less than one thousand dollars; ail moneys
arising undfr the provisions of this sec
tion, shall Delong exclusively to the school
fund of the. district in which said city of
Brownville is or may be located. ;
Sec. 4. This act to take effect from
and after its passage. .
Approved Oct. 18, 18-58. " . '
In approving this bill, Governor Ricii
ardsos sent to the Council the following
After a careful examination of the law.
I have signed and apjsrejed a bill to amecg
chaptered of IheHalvs of . 1857, relatind
to District Courts. The power of the Le
gislature to decide everything 1 in refer
ence to the remedy on contracts is un
doubted, and I depart from the usual
course in approving bills' in this case,
and state the reasons why I i-ave approv
ed of this act, Q '
The power of the Legislature to enact
sections 1, 2 and 3 is undoubted..-
If section 4 applied lo past contracts by
positive enactment, or clear legal itQspli.
cation, I could not approve it, because" it
would impair the validity of contracts,
and thus be in violation of the Constitu
tion of the United States. As thai sec
tion, in my judgment, does not apply to
past contracts, and naving nououot anout
the power of the Legislature to enact such
a law to apply to future contracts, I have
this day signed and approved this bill.
w - .
A little son, thirteen years old, of Brack
of Wheeling. Va., having witnessed the
execution of Burns, had atr uncontrolla
ble desire aroused to know what sort. of
a sensation hanging produced. The other
day he procured a rope, made a noose,
and adjusting it around his neck, threw
the weight of his body on it. He was dis
covered in time to save his life, but not
before he had become insensible. Ht
afterwards tried it on a younger brother,
but the boy was rescued ere life had en
More Big Lumps. '
We were shown, says the editor of the
Columbia (Cal.) Courier, two fine speci
mers of pure gold, taken out of a claim
weight fifteen ounces. A larger piece
uf pure cold was found on this claim two
or three months since, and several large
lumps have been taken out every season.
This claim has taken out upwards of
eighty thousand dollars in one year, of
which sum the expense of , working has
been some thirty thousand.
Effects or Comets Look Out-
Forty years ago the people ;f London
beheld a great coraet. An article apptar
. d in the Gentleman's Magazine, a Lon
don periodical, on the supposed influence
of that comet. The following were the
influences summed up by the writer:
"Wasps were few, flies became blind and
disappeared earlv; many women brought
i forth twins, and the wife of a shoemaker
had four children at a birth.
Why he Killed her. ,
IMichaei Elk, Aho murdered his wife a
fewdayago, by plunging a knife into
her bosom, gave as a reason for the bloody
deed that she had the phtisic, and had
kept him awake all nijrht by her hard
breathing. He would, he said, kill any-
body who would disturb his rest. Michael
must be blessed with au c
sweet and amiable disposition.
James Boon, aged eighty-five years, an
icmate of the poor-house at Kingston,
Leuoir county, North Carolina, with his
family, consisting of a wife and three
children, has inherited a handsome estate
amounting to 6150,000, and no mistake.
Hon. Benjamin F. Butler, formerly
Attorney-General of the United States,
sailed on the 14th ult, with
daughters, in the steamer
two of his
Havre, intending to pass a year or two
It is not easy to straighten in the oak
the crook that grew in the sapling.
Some of the ladies of Nev: lork are,
, - . - .
adopting tae profession of dentistry.
Correspondence of the St. Louis Democrat.
The Platte Gold Region.
A Eeliable Account of th3 Oo!d Country and
. . the Prospects for Mining. -
NO GOLD AT PIKE'S PEAK.
Explanation of unfavorable Reports that
The Llines as they really are .
About the XXoute, the Scenes, the several Com
. , . paniea, the Time to go, &c . .
;LavFencexK.T.yOs. 19, 1858.
Having just returned f rom . the gold
mines of Western Kansas, and having
seen a few and heard many contradictory
reports in regard to them, I make haste
on. the very hour of my arrival to give
you the truth in relation to the whole
matter. I left Eastern Kansas on the
25th of May last, with the company fa
miliarly known on the plains as the
"Lawrence Company," for the express
purpose of finding the gold that we have
for several years heard was deposited in
the mountains. Y '.'
We took the route, by the Santa Fe
trail up the Arkansas, and on the 13th of
June reached Walnut Creek, at Allison's
ranch., At that place we learned that
there werp two companies in advance of
us bound on tthe same errand. One of
these companies was composed of men
from the Cherokee Nation, and Western
Arkansas, called the "Cherokee Compa
ny," and commanded by Col. Beck ; the
other was composed of men from Ray and
Bates counties, Missouri and was called,
I think, the "Ray County Company." and
commanded by Capt. Doke. I speak of
these two companies thus particularly for
reasons which the latter part of this com
munication will disclose. We followed
after these companies, passing Bent's
Fort on the 28th of June, and arriving at
the Fontaine qui boville on the 4th of Ju
ly, meanwhile hearing nothing of the
companies in advance of us. On the next
morning, July 5th, we met two wagons
which had been a part of the Cherokee
Company. They reported that disnfleo
tion had arisen among the Cherokees;
that thev were angry with Capt. Beck
because they could not make $20 per day
as they alleged he had told them; that
they thought he would be killed; that
jjiey"had worked hard, prospecting the
Fhtte and Cherry Creek five whole days;1
that they could not make more than "two
bits pef day; that they "had farms and
- . WW
niters at home, and home they were
going." .We passed them not very much
dUcouraged, notwithstanding their ;;yery
thorough prospecting of the country. .
NO GOLD AT PIKE'S PEAK.
On the 9th of July, we arrived at the
base of Pike's Peak' and on the next day
commenced prospecting. We remained
there five days, and did not find a trace of
gold, and. at the end of that time our old
miners said they were satisfied there was
no gold there, as there was no quartz, no
bed rock, except the surface rock, with
the old red sandstone and miraceous gra
nite, and no indications of gold about the
THE PLATTE COLD REGION.
On the morning of July 13, we "rolled
out" for the Platte, and at noon arrived
at "Jim's Camp," .fifteen miles from
Pike's Peak. There we were met by
Capt. Doke, of the Ray county company,
and a few of his men. He reported that
he had been prospecting the South Platte
for two or three weeks; that they "found
gold everywhere," that he thought "it
might be madeto pay, if his men would
only stick to it, but that they were discou
raged and were returning home;" and he
added, "When I can get a party of men
'hat will stuk I shall return." We camp
ed together at noon, and then it was
agreed that we should join our forces and
send a party over the mountains into the
South Park. W e did so, and sent th
party under the command of Capt. Doke,
and the guidance of a Mexican. That
party returned after an absence of eight
days, having accomplished nothing. Af
ter this unsuccessful effort, the enthusiasm
of the combined remnants of the "Chero
kee" and "Ray county" companies,, was
at a low point; "and as they sat around
the camp-fires teihng their stones and
singing the songs of home, it soon be
came evident that their days of gold-hun
ting were Learly over, aud sure enough,
for on the morning of the 25th of July
ten of the twelve wagons composing their
train "pulled out" for the States.
Among the members of the company
who left, was a Mr. Sraedley, who had
made a fortune in California. After he
was in the saddle, ready to start, I heard
him say that "he was not by any means
satisned witn tne prospecting mat bad
been d ne, and that he thought the mines
on the South Platte might be made to
pay;" and yet I understand that this same
Mr. Smedley has published a letter, in
w hich he says the mines are a humbug:
(I have not seen the letter, and but very
few newspaper articles on the subject
having arrived but a few hours since.)
Capt. Beck said on the same morning, that
"he believed if his men were obliged to
- i dig for money to take thera home, they
could take out ten dollars per day to the
man," and then I have within twenty-four
hours, been referred to him that the mines
were a humbug. But more of ; this soon.
We remained near Pike's Peak for. two
longer, and then went to New!
Mexico: at which time 12th of Anmistl
i . . . -
J six men who had gone oat with the Law
rence company, and two who had gone
out with the Rav county company, left for
the States, by way of Bent's Fort. About I
tne same time,, two men or tae latter
company left, by way of the Republican,
making in all about sixty men that left
for the States before any considerable
amount of gold had been taken from the
mine. I have been thus particular in
describing our movements, in order . that
I might explain the reports that have
been recently published, giving discoura
ging accounts of the mines; '
V Of Mr. Smedleys 1 report-1 have al
ready spoken. He , admitted ; when he
left that the work had not been half
done.., I have also spoken of Capt. Beck,
Now', -1' suppose that you, Mr. Editor, '
might ask any one of those sixty men
about the mines, and in every case they
would tell you that "the thing was all a
humbug, thit they had just, returned from
there, and that they could not make day
wages,' and with a few exceptions they
would be honest in what they tell you,
and you would honestly. publish their re
port; when a few facts would explain the
whole matter. . A copy of the Weekly
Democrat, of Oct. 12th, is before me,
in which I find a letter from some Kansas
City gold hunters, dated Council Grove,
in which they speak of meeting men re
turning from Pike's Peak, who brought
discouraging reports of the mines. You
will notice that I have spoken above of
eight or ten men leaving us on August
12th, and this letter from Council Grove
is dated Sept. 25th, which would be about
the time they would arrive at that point,
and. well they might give discouraging
accounts of the mines for they had but
$1 or $2 worth of gold, not as they said
the product of a summer's hard labor,"
but the product of a summer's folly, in
running after Mexican stories, combined
with less than one hour's washing with a
pan. Let those men who wrote that let-
ter irom iouncu urove "pusn on, as
they say they are "determined' to do,"
and they are "all right."
Again I see among the news by the
Salt Lake mail that "at Laramie a gen
tleman was seen just from the mines
who said that the mines were a humbug
that while a man was making $1.50
he would spend $2.00. Now I happen to
know the gentleman spoken of, because
between the 1st and 20th of September
only one man went from the mines to
Laramie, and I know that he never work
ea a day m tne mines; ne belonged to a
class that live without work, and went to
Laramie at the invitation of the miners,
presented in the shape of a resolution
adopted at a public meeting, and in the
words of the resolution he "departed in
two hours." But I see that I am prolong
ing this communication to an unreasonable
length, and the express is about to leave.
My "object in 'writing thu9 far has been
to contradict the discouraging ; reports, of
the last few days. Now a word about
MINES AS. THEY REALLY ARE.
no worK nas yet oeen done mere no
claims to any extent have been made the
time has been spent in 'prospecting with
pans a half-day here and a half-day
there. No man has found apiece 'twen
ty-three ounces,' one ounce, or (to my
knowledge) one pennyweight. To the
best of ray knowledgeinformation and
oeiiei, no man maae sixteen dollars in
- j lis
one day. The men who were there when
I left were working with pans, carried
their dirt from four to seventy rods, and
made from $2.50 to So. 00 per day.
The better way for vour readers to
judge of the yield of the mines, is to know
the "prospect of the pan." I have seen
$1.50 in a single pan a few times 40 to
60 cents frequently, and hardly less than
8 to 10 cents. Californians will tell you
that with three ceuts to the panful they
can make good wages. The Californians
in our party say, that wheu they can get
sluices arranged,. they can make every
,y they work $15. . There, then, you
have the whole story. Unless some new
"diggings" have been discovered since
Sept. 20th, you can put it down all reports
of wages higher than $10 as extravagaut,
and receive them with a "leetle grain of
allowance." If your readers are satisfied
with wages under that sum, let them go
there, and they will make it. There is
room enough for twenty thousand mining
claims. The gold is "wash gold," and is
in the opinion of the wisest heads in the
mountains, out tne beginning oi next
year's discoveries. Every man there that
has had any experience in mining is sa
tisfied with the prospect for the next sea
son, and some of them extremely enthu
THE TIME TO GO TO THE MINES.
I would advise no person to start for the
mines after this date until spring. I think
some have gone two or three weeks too
late to escape hardships, but this will do
for the present. I will soon furnish your
readers with further information in re
gard to the mines, routes, &c. I maybe
permitted to remark that I have heard
that some of those who have come in from
the mines have received hundreds of let
ters daily in regard to. details, camping
places, &c. No person can afford to an
swer all the inquiries of that kind for no
thing, however much he may wish to ac
commodate the public, for it would take
all his own time and two or three assis-
tams oesiues. i nave Kept an accurate
journal of the route up the Arkansas,
along the mountains and down the Platte
creeks, camping-places, &,c, and shall be
. .i j ti i .
happy to accommodate any person to a
reasonable extent with the information in
i mv possession, if thpv will' add
, J I " J
- 1 Lawrence; K. T. W. B. a8$os.
Mrs. Kelly Is asked for her Name.
Among the arrests made recently, was
that of Mrs. Kelly for intoxication. Mrs.
Kelly is a talkative little body, and shock
ingly given to one idea. We give her
"What's your name V
"As dacint a woman as the sun irer
shone upon. I've lived in Albany twelve
years come next Michaelmas I know it
by the token, that the Sunday before we
"What is your name?"
"My char-ac-ther is as good as any wo
man's in the State. If you think I'm ly
in call on Mrs. Manning a devil a nicer
woman than Mrs. -Manning ever flirted a
house-cloth or peeled a pratie.
"Stop that rigmarole, and give me your
"Stop what ! my rigmarole ? And what's
my rigmarole done that you should throw
slurs on a dacint woman? Would ye take
advantage of my wakeness, ye gray-head
ed old coon, ye ?
" Will you give me your name?"
"Me what ?"
"And perhaps you think I have not got
one. ttedad, i ve as good a name as iver
came to Ameriky, and I'm not ashamed
"Will you give it to me ?"
"I'd see you to the devil first! I'd net
bemean the Kellys to that degree as to
tell yees I'm one of 'em."
"Then your name is Kelly?"
"And who slathered that out ? Show me
the blackguard, and 111 dust his coat with
"Never mind all that. Mrs. Kelly you
were found intoxicated."
"And who paid for the rum? Not you,
ye ould vilyan, ye."
"It matters not who paid for the .rum.
You drank it, and then committed a
breach of the peace, for doing which I
sentence vou to iail for ten days."
"And dare you send a Kelly to jail for
takin a little wake gin, to get the wind
from her heart?"
"Certainly, a Kelly or any other per
son, if they violate the laws. Clinton,
take her off."
"Clinton undertook to do so, but got so
entangled with Mrs. Kelly's legs, that the
pair fell down the stairs, breaking officer
Clinton s watch knee-pan and suspenders.
Mrs. Kelly is now in iail, but threatens
to take it out of the "ould vilyan's skin,
the first time she meets him, with a mop
A Somnambulic Excentriclty
A short time since a wealthy lady, who
has an only son, called on Professor Pen
coast. The latter, it should be remem
bered, rarely visits patients, but receives
them in the office. On this occasion,
however. Prof. P. complied with this re
quest, and was ushered into the presence
of Mrs. Smith. After the usual compli
ments, Mrs. Smith opened the following
"I wish to consult you, doctor concern
ing ray son George, you ' know."
"Oh! yes, madam," said the Professor,
but he is surely not sick ?"
"Why, sir, there are no acute symp
toms, but for a month past he has been
afflicted with somnambulism, and we fear
that unless the tendency is corrected, the
most serious consequences may arise."
'Ah, indeed! You say he has walked in
his sleep for'a month past?".
"And never did previous to that?"
The doctor mused.
"Of what does your family consist?"
"Myself and my son, the two kitchen
servants, and Celeste, the chambermaid,
who only came last month.
Just at tins moment the last named
person entered. She was a plump, rosy
lipped girl, who waited upon Mrs.
When she had left the room, Mrs. S.
remarked : -
"That's my new chambermaid, doctor :
interesting girl, is she not?"
"x es, madam, particularly so. I think
you said she had been with you about a
month, did you not ?" -
"Then, madam," said the doctor, rising
and taking his hat, "allow me to assure
you that any apprehensions of your son's
health would be superfluous. As long as
that young woman's rocm is accessible to
George, I fancy his somnambulic habits
will continue. And, madam," continued
the doctor, "under the present circum
stances, I really don't wonder at it."
We rather imagine that that took the
Gone up ender the Hoop.
The West Point (Ga.) Citizen tells
the following of a married man at the
commencement exercises of a certain
college in Georgia this summer:
He s'.arttd up the stairway at a swift
pace, not noticing any further until he
came nearly to the top of the steps, when
he says a strange sensation came over
him, and suddenly he frund himself en
veloped in Carknesj, as though the lights
had been extinguished. He was astonished
: . . . .
and bewildered, lial tne mytery was
i soon explained, and it appeared that a
. lady, wearing a very large hoop, had raet
him at the top cf the stairs, and was just
m the act of descending the stairs, when
cur fripnd. beintr a umall m haA with.
f nut n.iMr" .tMl!,r y..
Govern well your household.
We do well to conceal cur domestic
We should stop the mouth cf slander
by prudence. . .
We should be cautious cot to tay ill
that we know.
He who has learned to obey, will know
how to command.
The prudent man avoids evil, tha cou
rageous one sustains it. '
Visit your friend in misfortune; rather
than in prosperity. .
Be mild towards those who are thyde
pcxiuam; oe not arrogant.
Speak eo ill cf thv neighbor, if than
wouldst not hear what wiil trouble tb.es.
Make no display o: thv poai fcrtuna
but, in avoiding envy, do net excits pity.
The first ofnee cf prudence is to see
impending evils, and prevent them.
Take sains to correct the blpmiW
the mind rather than those cf the face.
Such as are careless of themselves win
hardly be attentive to another's concern.
If we considered all that other saflfcr.
our own complaints would be more mo
Trust not the officious caa ttho is tU
ways busying himself about the aSain cf
" The sentence you pTtnsuses ennscti.'
er, be willing to abide by yourself, in a
In order to live justly asd be resper-!,
we must abstain from dobg that we Hams
We should not be hasty ia forming est?
friendships, nor in terminating thesa cf
Let thy mildntrss exenss thy jwrcr;
dread to be feared, We may tha raeaa
not fear nor great despise. .
I am pleased with the abode which tt
hibits nothing superfluous, and where I
find everything that is necessary. :
Parents may expect from their ehHdfea
the same degree of dutiful rbeharior as
they themselves paid, to their own. pr
Counsel You have said that frhilfj
walking with an umbrella orer your head,
you fell into the reservoir, and was badly
injured. Did you break any bones, sir. '
at that time ?
Witness I did, sir.
Counsel W hat bones T
Witness Whalebones, air.
Counsel looked funny and ordered tha
witness down. ' "
At the "Dress Reform Contention," ia
Syracuse, Dr. Johnson told the audience
that "he had seen fifteen hundred .women
take off the long skirts, and put on the
short skirts." A modest man, that Dr.
Johnson, to stand by and see women put
on "short skirts." Fie, for shame.
v onder if the women knew it?
The following correspond ence'is said
to have taken place between a New Ha
ven merchant and one of his customers
Sir Your account has been standing
for two years, I must have it settled ia
To which in reply ;
Sir Things-usually da settle by stand,
ing; I regret that ray account is au ex.
ception. If it has been standing too lou'
suppose you let it run" a little while.
It is said that hundreds of greenhorn
who bought stock in copper mines,. on the
strength of being told that great amounts
of copper had b en smelt there, wiil ne
ver get a scent for their money. The la
bors of miners there are said u ha ia
t?eta. .-.u "
A brilliant auditory, among which were
many elegantly-dressed ladies, recently
attended a lecture cn chemistry in Berlin.
After the lecture was over, the lady por
tion cf the'audiencc presestc-d a very sin-
gular appearance. Some cf the gentle,
fair ones, who had manufactured for them
selves ivory complexions, rosy cheeks, co
ral lips and ebony eye-brows, had been so'
iranformed,(in consequence of the chem
ical decomposition occasioned by the gas
the professor had employed ir making
his expe-imcn's,) that they would have
excited the envy of a p-accck, their cheeks
naving turned ye;Io;v, b.ue, b'ack. violet,,
and various other cclors! Moral: Painted
dolls should not attend chemical lectures,
( lem used to sweep out the school
house and so picked up much useful ,
learning; so he said to Cesar:
"Which do you tink is de mose useful
ob de comets -de sun or de moon ?'
"Well, Clem, I don't tink I should be.
able toanser dat question, seeia as how
I neber hab much book larnin."
"Well, I sped de noon orto to takede
fust rank in dat ticiar."
"Kase de moon shines ia de cicht
when we need de light, md de tiz: shines
in de day time when de light am ob no
Pride breakfasted with Plenty, dined
with Poverty, arid supped with Infamy.
Punch teaches book-keeping in three
words "Never lend them."
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