r
Uy 1 1 : -
1
Ay
ff A vX
DEVOTED; TO ART, SCIENCE, AGRICULTURE, COMMERCE, NEWS, . POLITICS, GENEEAL INTELLIGENCE AND THE INTERESTS OF NEBRASKA.
i
v i u i n n II it I
IV
VOL. II.
i '
i ,l,IB
Xcbrciska CUiuciliscr.
1 ' flTXJ) A'D rVCLISQED ETEKT TBXBSDAT BT
Wbnas & langdon,
, SW -St. bd. Main, and Water. "
(Lake'f Block,)
DROWNVII.LE, N.
T.
r.,.Tarif paid in airance.
- J2.00
. . at theei
at the end of 6 months, 2,50
I " " 12 3,00
( "rViof 12 or mwewill be furnished at per
noo. prcriJed the cui aecompanie the order,
- RATES OF ADVERTISING:
:Wtqai, U2 lines or less,) one insertion, $1,00
Ksaailriional insertion,
three months,
" " six months, '
Bi.iness Cards of rix lines or less one year, 5,00
Oje-aalfCJamQ, one year,
i fourth in ..n
vjiujiu," n n
Dlil v.u'J'iiUi'"' in fin
ei-ata w. .
ii r.'.,rr,n thr months. u,uu
I" half ('..iuma, three months,
r f.urth . " '
; eighth ' " C'00
5 i-n.in-cnlidate!foro5ce,nnairanee,) 5,00
r. A in Prince will be required fr all a'lvcrtUe.
cen'-i except where actual responsibility is known,
i Ten pr cent for each chaise be aided to the
-iinBajlness Cards of Ere lines orless,for
t Vc iv'eniements will be considered hj the year,
e sj-rified on the manuscript, or previously
. 1 i:non between the parties.
. l ir-rrf.entf n.;t marked on thecnry for a speci-
: t'i mimher of insertions, will be continued until or-
r.t tH rViartred accordinlT.
; ' "AH advertisements from strangers or transient per-
Tnr.rirlVcre of vearlv advertiser? will be confined
, lcid to their own business ; and all advertisements
. tV,rtn in be naid frT extra.
; Yearly ad vertisers hare the privilege of changing
: tb:r advertisements cuirterly.
- im rrtisementschar-eddouhle the above
AJrcrtiementson the inside exclusively will be
' chafed extra. -
BOOK AND FANCY
(JOB PRINTING!
ITaving a iled t the Advertiser Office Card and
Job l'reucs, New Types of the latest styles. Inks of
all colors. Uronies, l ine Paper, Envelopes, Ac. ; we
are bow prepared to exeecte Job Work of every de
s?riritin in a Style unsurpassed by any other oSce
ia the United States.
Particalsr attention will be given to riders from a
distance ia having them promptly attended to.
The Proprietors, who. having bad an extensive ex
P'riJn:e, will give their personal attention to this
branch f business, and hope, in their endeavors tq
pleaje, otb in the exiellence of their work, and
reasonasq charges, to receire a share of the public
patronage.
BUSINESS CARDS.
v BROWXVILLE.
A s7 HOLLAD AY?
BURGEON, PHYSICIAN
JjxxkX Otoatotriciaxi.1
LROWNTILLE, N. T.;
. rucjTja snared puouc patronage, in tnevanous
tranches of his profession, from the citizens of Brown-,
v ile and vicinity.
MISS MARY TURNER, '
HiLLlHER AKD DRESS MAKER.
First Street, between Uain and "Water.
.. BUOWNTILLE, N. T.
Bsnntls and Trimmings clirays on hand.
' C. W. WHBELER,"
Architect and Bioilder.
'. TlXr 337.' HLLS LZZ) TTAtTSTS LUS.
Brownvlllo, 3J". T.
JAMES W. GIBSON,
BLACKSMITH
' Second Street, bet ween Main and Nebraska,
' fcROWNYILLE, N. T.
.TJ. C. JOHNSON,
ATTORNEY. AT LAW,
. SOLICITOR IN CHANCERY
AND-
" Real Estate Agent,
. enow n villi;, n. t.
.'. 4 REFERENCES.
' Hon. Wm.Je?up, Montrose, Psw
"H. S. Bentlr, . - . -
John- O. Miller, Chicago, 111
Wm.K. McAllister, "
John Cr Miller, . "
4.
u
u
M
R. W. Fergus-, BrownTille,N.-T.
o,
F
Lake,. . '
Mst
1S57.
47-ly
R. PEERY. M. D.,
SURGEON, PHYSICIAN
And
oxisxiJccxMicrf
ELD OH ADO, li. T.
RESFECTFULLY tenders his professional ser
t viee X the citizens of Nemaha county and ad
joining WMjntie. both in Nebraska and Missouri.
Jr 11th. 1S5T.
5I-Cin
.1. T. "Whyts & Co.,
HOLES ALE AND RETAIL BEAX-tRS IS '
DHY GOODS, GROCERIES
Qaeensware, Hardware,
Country Produce, -
w ft!? ) v4 O
BKOWNVILLE, N. T,
CITY OF BKOWNVILLE, NEMAHA COUNTY, N. T., THUESDAY:, JANUARY 21, 1858.
.i j i
G. W. HURN,
NEMAHA CITY. S. T.
WfLVon
S
7ILL attend promptly to all business in his pro-
wben called on ; such as subdmng
g out Town Lots, Drafting Citj Plate-
3-U
OUTER BKSKET.
JAMES F. F1SCX.
TK. B. G1KSIT.
ACGrSTrS KNIGHT.
OLIVER BENNETT & CO.,
Manufacturers and TThalesale Dealers in
BOOTS AND SHOES,
Ho. SI Main Street.
(FoRMBLT,Ko,10l,CoBMioF 3Uis isiLocr8T.)
ST. LOUIS, MO.
YI. OSBORN.
CLOCKS, WATCHES,
Jewelry, Plated Ware, Cutlery, Spoons, kc.t ic.
NERHASKA CJ.TY, N. T.
S7Engravisg and ILepairixg done on short
notice and all work w ark antki.
A. D. KIRK,
Attorney at Im,
Land Ageat and Xotarj Public
ircher, Richardson Co., J. I.
Will practice in the Courts of Nebraska, assisted
by LTarding and Bennett, Nebraska City.
JACOB SJlFFORD,
Attorney and Counsellor at Law.
GENERAL INSETIA-VCE AND LAND AGENT.
And Notary Public.
NEBRASKA CITr, N. T.
WLL attend promptly to all buisness cutrustea
to his care, in Nebraska Territory and V est-
ern Iowa.
September 12, 1S56. vlnl5-ly
W. P. LOAN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
LOT AND LAND AGENT,
Archer, Pachartlson County, X. T.
Notice to Pre-Emptors
1 1
J. S. HORBACU Si CO.,
Attorneys at Law,
A1TD
RExVL ESTATE BROKERS,
OMAHA CITY, K". T.
WILL give particular attention to preparing all
the necessary papers for Pre-emptions, and
rendering any assistance which maybe required by
Pre-emotorsin proving up their Pre-emption rights
at theU. S.LandU21ce. -45-6m
R. E. HARDING. C. C. EIMBOIGII B. F. TOOHER.
HARDING KIMBOUGH & CO.,
Uanvmcturtrt and WhoJttale Dealer "
HATS, CAPS & STRAW GOODS,
No 49 ilain street, bet. Olive and Pine,
ST. LOUIS, MO.
Particular attention paid to manufacturing our
finest Mole Hats.
J. HART &. SON
k Ml
Oregon, Holt County, ilissourL
Keepconstantly on hand all description of Harness,
Saddles, Undies, &c, Ac.
N. B. Every article in our shop is manufactured
bj ourselve?,and warranted to givetatisfaetion.
REAL ESTATE AGENCY. "
CEORGS CLATES. J. "W LSI.
Clayoo cts Xsoo
Real Estate and General Agency,
OlIAHA CITY, HI. T.
REFER TO
James Wright. Broker, New York,
Wm. A. Woodward, Esq. " "
Hon. R. Wood, Ei-Got. of Ohio, Cleveland,
Wicks, Otic and Browntll, Bankers, "
Alcott i Eortcn, ,
Col. Robert Campbell, St. Louis,
James Ridgway, Esq. " '
Crawfctrn ad Sackett, Chicago.
Omaha City, Ang,30,lS56. Tlnl3-ly
P. BENNETT, J. 8. MORTON, E.H. HARDING
BEN NET, MORTON & HARDING,
ATTORNEYS -AT LAW,
Xtbraska City, Y. T., and Glen-wood, la
TTJILL practice in all the Courts of ?ebrt?ka and
Western Iowa. Particular attention paid to
obtaining, locating Land Warrants, and collection of
debts.
REFERENCE:
Hon. Lewis Cas, Detroit. I ..
Juliu, D.Morton, . Mictigan;
Gov. Joel A. Matteson,1?pringneld, III
Gov. .T. W. Grimes, Iowa Citv, Iowa;
B. F. Fifiled, St. Loui?,Mo.;
Hon. Danie! O. Morton, Toledo, Ohio;
P. A. Sarpy, Bellevue, Nebraska:
Sedgewich & Walker, Chicago. Til:
Green, Weare k Benton, Council B'.uffs,Iowa.
T. B.
CC1I1SC. IOHN C. TTBX.
(THING & TURK,
Attorneys at Law & Real Estate Agents
OMAHA CITT, K. T.
T H-L" attend faithfully and promptly to all busi
t ness entrusted to them, in the Territorial or
lowa Courts, to the purchase of lots and lands, en
trries and pre-emptions, collections, kc.
. 9nce ia 8eco story of Henry & Rootsnew
buildm?, nearly opposite the Western Exchange
Banfe, i amnain street.
Dec. 27, 1j6. Tin23tf
A. A. BRADFORD,
mi. MCLSSXAX,
Nebraska City.N.T.
t. t.HcCAKT,
BrownTille,N. T.
BRADFORD, McLEXNAN &McGAKY,
ftTTWMYSIT LftW
, AND
. SOLICITORS IX CHAXCERY.
Brownville and Nebraska City, N.T.
BEING permanently legated in tht Territory,we
will irive our entire tisne and attention to the
practice of our profession, in all its brunches. Mt
tern in Liti'-vtion, Collections of Debts, Sales ind
Purchases of Real Estate, Selections f Land.-. Lea-
ting of Land Warrants,' and a.i 4tac-r businoHS en
trusted to car management, will receive premptand
faithful attention.
REFERENCES.
S. F. Xuekolls,
Richard Brown, "
Wm. Hoblitiell k Co.,
lion. James Craig,
Hon. James M. Hughes,
lion. John R. Shepley,
Me?srs. Crow, McCrearri Co.
Nebraska City,
Brown viUe,
St. Joseph, Mo.,
Et. Louis, Mo.,
u
u
u
Messrs. S. O. Hubbard k Cc Cincinnati Q. .
Hon. J. M. Lore,
Keokuk. Iowa.
Tl-sl
SAILS
Miscellaneons.
A Singular Suicide.
In a little town of Dover, which is situ
ated on the Cumberland river, in Middle
Tennessee, there lived, some time ago,
an eccentric and intemperate old bachelor
by the name of Kiajstcn. On one occa
sion, when prostrated on his bed by ex
cess, and suffering actually ' from those
things, and horrors peculiar to his situa
tion, he sent for one of .his old boon com
panions to come and visit him. Shyrack,
for that was the other's name, came duly
into Kingston's room.
'What's the matter, Kingston V
'Shyrack, shut the door.'
The door is shut.'
Lock it.'
'Eh?'
'Lock the door !
'Certainly my dear boy
'Shvrack, I'm going to kill myself.'
My dear fellow, let me entreat you not
to do it.'
I will.'
'No, no, oblige me, and don't.'
'Must do it.'
Don't, it'll be the death of you.'
Shyrack was quite cool and jocose, lit
tle dreaming that so terrible an event was
actually going to take place.
Kingston had, as the least eccentric act
of his life, taken a chisel and mallet to
bed with him, and now with a desperate
resolve, he sejzed the extraordinary tools
of death, and in an instant drove the blade
of die chisel into his breast.
The hair rose upon Shirack's head and
fright spread like a sheet of snow over his
face.
Kingston! Kings'.cn! my dear fellow
you d d rascal, Kingston 1 do you
want to have me hung ? Hold on ! don't
die till I call somebody.'
Shyrack ran to the door, and called
ke a madman to some people across the
street.
'Hellow! here! say! you, mister! all
you stupid people make haste over here
or there will be a murder I
The neonle crowded into Kingston s
house.
a a w
'Don't die, Kingston! Don't chisel that
. . i" -mi .n l 1:3
way: i-on t die uu you ten me wao uiu
it!'
' I did it myself, ' said Kingston
aintly.
'There, that'll do ; now, my dear fellow
you may die,' replied Shyrack, taking a
long breath and wiping the perspiration
from his' forehead.
And Kingston did die, in that extra
ordinary manner, leaving his fate to be
recorded as a suicide that was almost
murder.
Among many incidents of the New
York Banks panic, the following charac
teristic one is related by the Iimss:
At the Sixpenny Savings Bank a little
newsboy, with a jacket, and only one
suspender (and that a string,) confronted
the teller on Monday, and demanded to
know whether 'she was all right mean
ing the institution because if she was,
h3 didn't mean to be scared, if everybody
else was. He'd got forty-two cents salt
ed down there, and he wanted his (the
teller's) word of honor that it wouldn't
spile. The teller of the bank assured him
that his money was ready at any moment
'Jsuff said, 'tween gentlemen, but 1 don t
want it,' reioined the youth, and with a
self complacent well satisned air, waited
out "of the bank. 'Is she good V cried two
cr three other newsboys who were await
ing the result at the door-step. 'Yes
siree !' he replied, 'as good as wheat;
Ketch our bank to stop ! Yoos ought to
seed the cold. I seed in the safe !' 'How
much was they V inquired a companion
'Mor'n a house full!' was the prompt
response. 'An' yoos don't ketch dis ere
chile a makm' an eld woman of myseli.
and drawin' out his money: 1 am t so
green J ain't
Pick up de Stohc.
A correspondent writing from Wash
mgton, Pa., says:
, "Like most other small towns we have
a 'colored church,' where many amusing
things are said, highly exhilerating to the
spirits of the few who occasionally visit
our 'Hayti' meeting house. . Hay ti is the
name given to that part of the town where
'persons ob color reside. One winter
evening, when the colored preacher was
jn the midst of his sermon, makinrr a most
t 'e . .1 1 .
wucui i uui mt muoi viu-juyuk cai w
his hearers, one oi the lees or the stove
which had been loosened in some way,
fell out, and as a natural consequence, the
red hot stove tipped over at an angle
alarmingly suggestive of., fire- The au
dience of course commenced crowding out
of the door like a flock of black sheep.
But the preacher was equal to the occa
sion. Addressing one of his prrominent
members, -he cried out: "Pick up de
stobebrudder Doliah ! pick up de stobe!
De Lor won't let it burn you ! ; Only hab
faith!' Poor brother Doler had unfortu
nately too much faith, and immediately
seized it, all glowing as it was; but no
sooner had his fingers: coihe in contact
with the fervent iron than he dropped it
again, and dancing around on one foot,
blowing Ivs skinless fingers, - exclaimed
with all the energy which he could throw
into, his voice : 'De hr 1 he won't. De
h 1 he won't.'
' The genius of man needs opposition to
secure its full dcrelcpemeat.
Kissins a" Bachelor;
A correspondent relates the following
very rich incident : " ;
"We have a friend a bachelor friend
very fond of the society of the ladies,
but extremely modest and dimdent withal.
A few evenings since he .went to make a
call upon an acquaintance who had re
cently taken to himself a wife, young and
beautiful, and, as a matter of course,
overflowed with affection for her husband.
Now, this lovely wife of a week, like all
other young wives, could scarcely survive
the brief absence of her husband for the
discharge of his business ; and, always,
upon his return, met him upon the thres
hold and smothered him with kisses. It
so happened, when our friend called, that
the husband was absent, but was momen
tarily expected by the fond and anxious
wife. She heard his footfall upon the
step, and supposing it to be her husband
rushed forth to meet him ; and he had
scarcely laid his hand on the bell-pull,
before the door new open, and- his neck
was encircled by a pair ofvhite arms, and
burning kisses fell thick and fast upon his
hps and cheek. & Here was a trying situa
tion for a difficent man, and our friend
came near fainting on the spot; but, for
tunately, the lady discovered her mistake
m season to prevent such a melancholy
event, and he escaped from the house
more dead than alive. The last we saw
of him, he was leaning against a tree,
'aiming himself, with his umbrella, in or
der to recover strenh to retrain his lod-
ji
Extracts of Dictionary.
Author A dealer in words who gets
paid in his own coin.
Bargain A Iud.crous transaction, in
which each party thinks he has cheated
the other.
Belle A beautiful but useless insect
without wings, whose colors fade on being
removed from the sunshine.
Critic A large dog that goes unchain
ed, and barks at everything he does not
comprehend.
Distant Relations People who imagine
they have a claim to rob you if you are as is generally supposed, the bony cover
rich, and to insult you if yen are poor. ing or shield of the turtle, but only the
Doctor A man who kills you to-day,
in order to save you from dying to-mor-
row.
Editor A poor fellow, who every day
is emptying his brain, in order that he seven inches broad, semi-transparent, e le
mav fill his stomach. rantlv varieeated with red, white, yeHow
Fear The shadow of hope.
Grave An ugly hole in the ground,
which lovers and poets wish they were
in, but take uncommon pains to keep
out of.
Heart A rare article sometimes found
in human beings. It is socn, however,
destroyed by commerce with the world, I
or else becomes fatal to its possessor. . i
Honor Shooting a friend whom you
dearly love, through the head, in order to
gain the praise oi a tew others whom you
despise. ' - '
Housewifery An ancient art, said to
have been fashionable among girls and knife is then carefully inserted horizon
wives; now' entirely out of use, or only tally beneath them, and the lamina) lifted
practised oy tne lower orders.
Lawyer A learned gentleman, who
receives your money and keeps it him- force it off until the heat has fully pre
self. pared it for separation. Many turtles die
Modesty A beautiful flower that flou-
rishes only in secret places.
My Dear An exprersion said to be
used by man and wife at the commence-
ment of a quarrel.
Policeman A man employed by the
corporation to sleep in engine houses and
theatres at six dollars per night.
Political Honesty Previous Lexicogra
phers have not noticed this word, treating
it, we presume, altogether as fabulous
for definition see self iniercst.
Public Abuse The mud with which
every traveler is spattered on the road tq a seat alongside of a dandylissimo sort of
distinction. - a fellow all perfume, moustaches, and
' Rural Felicity Potatoes, turnips and shirt collar our modest M)-nheer ordered
cabages. up his dinner. .
Sensibility A quality by which its 'What will it be, sir?' asked white
possessor, in attempting to promote the apron.
happiness of others, looses his own. 4 You, got corn bef, hey?' said the
State's Evidence A wretch who: is
Tiirr.TiP fnr KpinT baser than his com-
rades.
Tongue-7-A little horse which is conti
nually running away.
Wealth The most respectable quality
of man
tin
words : "Man is born to trouble.
" My friends the subject falls naturally
to be divided into four heads :
: 1.' Man's entrance into the world. '
2. His progress through the world..
3. His exif f rom the world; and , '. ;
4. Practical reflections from what may
be said : . .
First; then: : " t - 1 -
1. Man came into the world naked and
bare.
. o -
ti.. .t,,, 'vi
r a
Care.,; ?. f.". - - .
3. His . exit from . it none - can tell
where.;:,- .. !; -; . :
4. But if he does well here he'll he well
there. ' '
Now, I can say no more, my brethren,
dear. . ' - : "..
Should I preach on this subject from this
time to .next year. Amah
Politeness is like - an air-cushion
very soothing, though 'lhere is nothing in
: How to find out whether a woman is
vnin don't look at her. ;
a x -3 f o rmnn rcTuoii fi- and sent forth its peculiar liavor, evident
Abridgement of a sermon nica took . . . fv . . . ,
AUl . . r .i - Iv satisfactory to Mvnheers nasal orrran.
an hour m. delivering, irom inese ry . ' l. c f?.i
(
An Eccentric Baron.
There . resides at a country mansion,
called Hermansdcrf , near Landshut in Ba
varia, a queer old gentleman, named
Baron Von Halberg who, from his retir
ed habits, and eccentricities, xs known as
the 4Hermit of Canting." Some idea
may be formed of this anchorite's pecu
liarities and taste from the following
dainty advertisement " just published by
him, in" the Courier of Nether Bavaria :
"My two female readers have just left me
to look for lovers in the town, not being
able to find the same in my old castle. I
now want to find a female who well un
derstands French and English, and is well
instructed. Her business is to read to
me, whereby she also will improve herself
in languages. She will have a salary of
400 florins, and if she speaks Italian 100
more. She will likewise have substantial
food, and the best Mocha coffee, three I
times per oay, oui no sugar augui spuus
coffee. Married women and old maids
need not apply.' As to their religion, I
say nothing, because each must seek to
arrive in Heaven after his or her own
fashion. I observe, moreover, that I dine
at the same table with my female domes
tics, .because all persons have equal'
rights." .
London Newspaper.
The Public Ledger is the oldest daily
paper in London, having been established
in the year 1700; for several years it has
only had between five and six hundred
subscribers. The London Daily Commer
cial List has less than one hundred sub
scribers. The London press includes two
thirds of the newspaper circulation of the
kingdom. It is a noble circumstance that
the printing press in England had been at
press nearly a hundred and mty years
bef e the invenlive penius of that COun-
try produced a single newspaper, l et,
after the newaper appeared in society,
it was nearly a hundred years more be
fore a daily paper was ventured upon.
Tortoise Shells.
What is called the tortoise shell is not,
scales which cover it. These are thirteen
jn number, eight of them flat and five a
little curved. Of the fiat ones, four are
lame, beincr sometimes a foot long and
and dark brown clouds, which are fully-
brought out when the shell is prepared
and polished. The lamins constitute the
external coating of the solid or bony part
of the shell, and a larrre turtle affords
about eisrht pounds of them; the plates
varvinr from an eicrhth to a Quarter of an
inch in thickness. The fishers do net kill
turtles, did they do so they would in a
few years exterminate them. When a
turtle is caught, they fasten him, and co-
ver his back with dry leaves or grass, to
which thev set fire. The heat causes the
p!ates to separate at their ioinst; a lame
from the back, care being taken not to
iniure the shell by too much heat, not to
under this cruel operation, but instances
are numerous in which they have been
caught a second time, with the outer
coating re-produced; but, in these cases,
instead of thirteen pieces, it is a single
piece. -
r
The Dutchman and the Dandy.
Ah old plain-looking and plain-spoken
Dutch' farmer, from the vicinity of the
Heidelberg, in pursuit of dinner the other
day, dropped into a restaurant, laking
Luuicnman
'Yes.'
'You got sourkrout, too, hey ?'
'Oh, yes?
Veil, gif me some both.
Off started whtte-apron on a keen jump
and presently returned with the desired
fodder. The sourkrout was smoking hot,
dandy
who, after the dish had been deposited on
the table, and Mynheer was about com
mencing an attack tipoa it, exciaimed :
'I a say, my friend, a are you go
ing to eat that stuff?' .
' Mynheer turned slowly round,' and
11- - z.r.
lOOKing at nis inierrogaiur wim asiumau
mett, exclaimed : .5
Eat it ! vy, of course I eat it !'
'Well.' said the dandy, a would as
lief devour a plate cf guanc!
t..Ti Troll 1 cmrt AT vnhppr. mrrhinrr intn
,.nrl-r,i( r ovlprt rpl!V ''rlit
l"c- auui V wu " : , k
b
u . - , ; : , - , . , .
AvaiiUJ IWatu jviuuci vuicu ill, tiiiU ?
left with the opinion that Dutchy was one
ahead
Law is like prussic acid a dangerous
ren?edy and the smallest dose is generally
sufficient. .
If we, could read the secret history of
' our enemies, we should find in each mart a
life sorrow and ruffering enough to disarm
i ana vice versa iu uimui uur uauuv uijuu
jail hostility.
Fnn and Facts.
Promises are blossoms; deeds are fruit.
The actions of a man telr of what kind
is, as do the fruit of a tree.
Make other men's shipwrecks your sea
marks. r
Gaming is the child of Avarice, and
the father cf Despair,
To the wicked the virtues of other men
are always objects of terror.
God gives a ready passport at any gate
except that of Heaven.
Handsome Circassian girls are selling
at C onstantinople at 25. .
Life consists not in mere existence, but
- m Q wel-spending of our time,
What is more beautiful and poetical
than the child's idea of ice 'Water gone
to sleep. i
A young lady being told that her lover
was suddenly killed, exclaimed : 'O ! that
splendid gold watch of his ! give me that
give me something to remember him
c3
Charlie,' said a young lady to her lo-
ver, 'tnere is notmng interesting, m tap.
paper to-day, is there, dear V f
JNo, love, but I hope there will, one
day, when we both shall be interested.'
The young lady blushed assent.
An affectionate mother in Syracuse is
feeding her daughter on pickles, to pre
vent her Jeing eaten up by the young
men, wno call ner 'too sweet to live: x ou
see, boys, what comes of it.
'Mr. Jones, don't you think marriage is
a means of grace V 'Certainly, anything
is a means or grace that leads to repent
tance.
handle,
Sc
ene closes with- a broom
An excited member once announced to
the Connecticut Legislature, a steamboat
explosion as follows :
'Spjster Meaker and ledgers of the
memoismature, the Elliver Ollsworth has
biled her buster.
A Vermonler crossing the Atlantic, in
the height of a rale which lasted sixty
hours, and looked dangerous, came on
deck and coolly remarked, 'that it was
lucky he did net any stock in the compa
ny which had insured the steamer.'
An Irishman, in a sketch of his life,
says 'he ran .away 'early from his father
because he discovered he was only his
uncle. Another m writing a biography
of Robespierre, concluded with the fol
lowing sentence 'This extraordinary man
left no children behind him, except his
brother, who was killed at the same
time !'
If you want to see a black squall, just
look at a negro baby attacked with the
colic.
If honest men are the salt of the earth,
pretty girls may be said to be the sugar.
What kind of bands do the young
ladies like best ? Has-bands, to be sure.
Why are Shanghai roosters like early
spring flowers ? Because they are crow
cusses. A young ladies' boarding school is like
a garden hot-bed. The.tenderest plants
grow there, but the foundation is. rotten.
. ' A.
'Though lost to sight to memory dear,'
as the maid said to her lover, when-
bis face was buried in beard and whis
kers. '
An artist painted a cow and a cabbage
so natural that they had to be separated
the cow having commenced eating the
cabbarre.
Three things as good as their betters
dirty water to extinguish fire, a homely
wife to a blind man, and a wooden sword
to a coward.
The man who couldn't 'trust his feel
ings' is .supposed to do business strictly on
the cash principle."
It was observed cf a deceased lawyer,
that he left but few eflects. 'rsowon
der, said a wag, 'he had but few
causes. .
Do you drink hail in America V
asked' a cockney. Hail; no, but we
drink thunder and lighining, said the
i anicee. t . . . . -
When the heart is out cf tune the ton
gue seldom goes right. .
Speak to' old men of the past to the
middle-aged of ' the present and to the
young of the future.
W hat is the difference between a but
cher and a gay young lady? The for
mer kills to dress, whilst the latter dres
ses to kill.
The best catch at dice is not to play.
'.nr. bmith, the hofrs are rrettincr into
your corn-field. 'Never mind, Billy, I
am sleepy; com won't hurt 'em.'
An old Greenland seaman said he
could readily believe that crocodiles shed
jears, for he had often seen whales blub
ber. ... - , '
Simpson says the ladie3 do not set
their caps for the gentlemen any more ;
they spread their hoops. ' '
30.
Food, for Thinkers.'-
-Self Education.
How is acquaintance with science to be
obtained by men who have but a small
amount cf leisure, a scant supply of bocks, .
no apparatus worthy of the name, and the .
opportunities of attendmz 'lectures few.
and rare ? We have no teachers, no lec
tures, no apparatus, you will sa. New
in answer to this, I wish to place! It for?
you a great truth, which somehow scnn3
to have been overlooked in cur education
al discussions. It is this, that learning
must come from within, cot from without
that listening to a lecture is net learn- .
mg that looking at a man making expe
riments does not teach you lorcanipuhite
in science. Only think of a nun Itarnir.rr
to make shoe3, or to sing cr to play on ti
musical instrument, by attending lectures ..
on shoemaking or music. He who wish
es to mount, must gird up the loins cf his
mind. Lectures or teachers : are r n '
well to keep idle boys to their work tsA : '
to stimulate the indolent. All mer.tal
improvement resolves itself ultimately into;
self-improvement. Be assured that the.
differences between the facilities which
the rich and poor "have fcr acquiring1
knowledge are not as treat a.i is com
monly imagined, especially in this cour.try -
wnere a man can procure for a few sail- '
lings the very best manuals and text-books
m almost any branch cf literature or
science, lie need not even go to that
expense; he may join an institution such
as this, and have the use cf ail the booki
for a few pence. You may buy a Euclid
for a shilling, an arithmetic for the same,,
a treatise on chemistry for a couple t
shillings. ..These are your best teachers. -Your
books will not'tire in giving yen in- .
formation. ; they will repeat it&for ycu '
again and again. If you have misur.cer- .
stood any thing they have said, or an?
slow to comprehend them, they will rjait
patiently for you until you are realy it,'
proceed with them. They will put tip .
with your ill-humor, they w'l! bearwr.h
your mistakes, and it will cost yoa bit
little to ket-p them. - But, yon will .nay,
though books are cheap, and maybe eaj;i.
ly procured, we have no apparatus, and '
apparatus are scarce and dear, beyond the
means of the poor man to obtain. New;
here is another error. There is a jrtat
deal too much talk about apparatus for-'
teaching science, and the necessity there '
is that the State should manufacture.
and supply it at a cheap rate to schocls
and institutions like this. A mart who 13
eager to learn who is determined t
know his subject may, if he be at all
handy, cr with the assistance of the village
carpenter or blacksmith, extemporize his .
apparatus. Polished mohogany, and ex-
tensive brass work and coir.plicated ad
justments, are not at all essential. It is .
told of the celebrated philosopher, Dr,.
Wollaston, the inventor of the method of
rendering platinum malleable,' that when
a continental chemist of some celebrity
called on him and expressed a wish to be
hown over the laboratories in which
science had been enriched by so many
important discoveries, the doctor took him
into a little study, and pointing to nn old
tea-tray on the table, with a fev watch,
glasses, test papers, a small balance, and -:
a blowpipe on it, said, "There is nil tho
aboratory that I have. Rev. Dr. Boolh
at tht Lnces Mechanics' ImtiiutMt.
rtlcMnlfnA tt 1ia lfln.l
ASl JIAUl J I IUC JlliiU. I
It is not by mere study, by mere arco-"'
NO.
raulation of knowledge, that you can liDpo
for eminence.- Mental disciplin-;, the
quickening cf ' your apprehension, the .
strengthening cf your memory, the form-
ing of a sound, rapid and discriminating
judgment, are of even more importance .
man tne store oi learning. Practice tha
economy, cf time. Consider time, like. -
the faculties of your mind, a precious es- ." .'
tate; that every moment of it well applied
is pui io an exnorDitant interest. The .
zest of amusement itself, and the auccess- ' - '.
ful result of application, depend is a gen- '
erai measure upon the economy cf time.
Estimate also the force of habit, Ex.er- . '
cise a constant and rmremittir vlcilar.cii
over acquirement of habit, ia matters that .'
are apparently cf indifference, and per
i 1 1 ..... t . - .
uzps are reaayo, lncepenaent ox the ha-.
bits that they engender. It is by ihe ceg- -lect
of juch tribes that bid habita aic ac
quired, and that the mind, by total necli-
gence ana procrastination in ranters c: .
small account but frequent occurrtr.ee "
matters of which the world takts- ix c .
lice. hp.r;nmp rr.snrr,cA .
f ects m matters cf high importance. Bv " "
motives yet more urgent, ty hhi-r and
purer aspirations, by the duty cf obdk nee . .. .
to the will cf God, by the awfal tcccrnt
you will have to render, not rc.2rely of.
mere actions,' but ' of faculties cntrsstcd
to you for improvement by all t!iese high
arguments, do I cenjure you "so to numr '
ber your days ;that you nay apply your
heart unto that wisdom. which, directing
your ambition to the noble end of benefit-.
ting mankind,' and teaching himian hum
ble reliance on tbe merits ' and oa the
mercy of your Redeemer," msy support
you in the "time cf your. health," and in
the "hour of death, and in xhe dav cf
judgment," may comfort you with the
hope of deliverance Sir Robert Ted. -
. ; General observations (irawn from par
ticulars, are the jewels cf knowled;;', com
prehending great store in a Utile"" room; '
but they are therefore tcr be 'rials with
the greatest care and caution, I?st, if we
take counterfeit fcr true, our shur.cs will
be the greater, when cur stock iroms y ti
severe scrutiny. . ' .