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About Nebraska advertiser. (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 24, 1857)
: ' It' It 1 KY- A J vy Ay Ay Ay Ay Ay DEVOTED TO ART, SCIENCE, AGRICULTURE, COMMERCE, NEWS, POLITICS, ; GENERAL : INTELLIGENCE AND THE INTERESTS OF NEBRASKA.: j VOL. II. CITY OF BROWNVILLE, NEMAHA COUNTY, N. T., THURSDAY, DECEMBER 24, 1857. NO. 26. Ay ; .t L r! t irt f at T, id ?? i u be S at Fort ; lb Mt 1 M t- .V.t- j f : WW. u I it 11 .- -1. .if !OCA lie " ; ier be ir!"! ,ri i.i i hrf -4 M t. 16- A r ' fir ' ''Prr re. i EW ;1 CI ry V I o t,ic. A4 Nebraska CltSucrtiscr j jpiTW AD mUlBW tVIBT TBl'RflDAT BT ,fOBNAS-'& LANGDON, j Second St. ltl .Wain and Water. Lake's Block,) UUOWNVILLE, N. T. T1Z1. LTXJ i r-.M rear if paid ia advene, - $2,00 m " " 44 t tb end of month. 2,50 -11 3.00 li or mort will be furnube4 at 11,40 per ' Koviled the eau ftccomittiet the order, jl tfwaie. RATES OF ADVERTISING: nre,( 1 J lie or le,) one insertion, lilitional i osertioa, jUrf, one month i, - three uuntbf, . six months, " one year, ti Cards of i line or Icm one year, KC.Iumn, one year, ,-U'.f Column, one year. $1,00 0,50 2.&0 4,00 6,00 10,00 6,00 60,00 35,00 18,00 10,00 35,00 20.00 10,00 8,00 Mirth v,U M M -f!rt. ' i CJninn, ix month, I v.'f (Column. it month. f.rti 44 44 44 isbth " " " Ciumo, three month, iif Cmlumo, three month, f...nh 44 44 -i.h'li ' " 44 20,00 13,00 10,00 6,00 I ; 1-. r..,.IT... ii.)nniii fk 0( ZA in a4rnc will be required for all adrertie vj eiei rhcr actual rcponFibility i known. .r Mit fur rich ehacee be added to the I ' " r- " ...rtriK-f. .... , r j lin- Basine Card of fire line or lessor '.-r.r,$j.0ll. j Vadrertiwmenti will be considered by the year, fuwifiol n the manuscript, or previously ,-riKn betreen the partie. t iment not markwl on theeopy fora peci Uwmher f insertion, will be continued until or M ! charged accordingly. ( Wdr-rtieTnenui from tranger or tranient per l.ubpai4 i" advanoe. i Tiiriil',S yearly adrertiser win .i y to their owa bu.inew ; and all adrertuemeat I ruining thereto, to be paid for extra. IWiy idrertieTbave the pririlege of changing Mir ulTrrtisetne"1 o.uarterly. 11! leaded adrcrtiacmenU charged double tbeabove j4wtimeotoa the inside exclujirely will be i"jed tx'.r. i BOOK AIJD FANCY '.JOB PRINTING! I lUrinj aJ.led to the Adrertier Office Card and . 'i Vm, New Type of the latet style, Ink of t llronie, I ine Taper, Envelope, c. ; we otT prepared to execute Job Work of every de i4it in a Style ungurposscd by any other office j itt I nited hUti. j rwticnlar attention will be given to orders from ; ttnce in bating them promptly attended to. T Proprietor, who, having had an extensive ex-"itn-e, will give their pergonal attention to thii urh of boxiocys, and hope, in their endeavors to kotbia the exeelleoce of their work, and charge, to receive a share of the public .UuDtge. BUSINESS CARDS. nitOWXVILLE. JRGEON, PHYSICIAN A.ncl Oloewtotrioio-xi.. BROWNTILLE, N. T.; SfuWt a (hare of public patronage, in the various ''w-lxw if hi prof ewion, from the eitiiens of Bro wn 'Uad vicinity. v MISS MARY TURNER, QUKER ai:d dress maker. 'irtt Street, between Main and Water. UUOWNVILLE. N. T. lonnds and Tr'mmincs always on hand. w C. W. WHEELER, Architect and Builder. Trxi-: nr. xjtd Trx.rss rownvillo , 3X. T. JAMES W. GIBSON, BLACKSMITH Swond Street, between Vain and Nebraska, imOWNYlLLE, N. T. TJ. C. JOHNSON. ATTORNEY AT LAW SOLICITOR IN CHANCERY . AND Real Estate Agent, lro villi; n. t. RTrEnrscEa. Don. Wm.Jcjtup, Montrose, Ta. . B- BeMlv, " " f lin C. Miner, Chicago, 111. 'm. K. SlnAllister, - Jin Cr Miller, 44 44 44 rle X.. fowler,, 44 44 44 W. Ferguson, Urownville, N. T. . 0. P Uke, " 44 44 4My . W. 1'EERY, M. D., SURGEON, PHYSICIAN And ET.TinWATlO. Tf. T rECtFtLLY tenders Li prof. ...T,c to rtreiiien of Nemaha cou cssional ser- county and ad- , r"aiirjj do in in ieDratt tuu Aiissouri. Ann . j . .i . " 1 1 1 I. T. Whyte & Co., VllfVi wm . . - . flHY GOODS, GROCERIES Quccasvarc, Hardware, Stoves, SpxajrxiJLtTiro, Couatry Produce, BUOWNVII.LE, K. T. I G. W. HURN, . NEMAHA CITY, IT. T. WILL attend promptly to all basineM ia hi pro fession when called on : inch a sub-living Claim, laying oat Town Lot. Drafting City Plata- te.,ete. 37-tf OLIVER BENKET. VI. B. GABIUT. AMES P. PI8KB. Al'OrSTCS KXIOET. OLIVER BENNETT & CO., Manufacturer and Wbalesale Dealer ia BOOTS AND .SHOES, No. 87 Main Street. (FOBMLT, !f 0. 101 , Colt XB OF M At A1TO LOCCBT.) ST. LOUIS, 'MO. WM. OSBORN. DXALEK CLOCKS, WATCHES, Jewelry, Plated Ware, Cutlery, Spoon, Ac., Ac. NEBBA8KA CITY, N. T. r3w-F.vcKviso and Rkpaikixo done on hort notice and all woke wabkakteb. A. D. KIRK, Attorney at Law, T.md Asreat and Notary Public. Will practice in the Court of Nebraska, assuted by Harding and Bennett, Nebraska City. JACOB SJFFORD, Attorney and Counsellor at Law. GENERAL INSURANCE AND LAND AGENT. And Notary Public. NEBRASKA CITY", N. T. . ..... . ern Iowa. September 1Z, ISjo. Tinia-iy "V7" P T DAN ArpmrrnTtfTTV AT t a ttt I Archer, Rlchartlson Ccnnty, N. T. Notice to Pre-Emptors ! ! J. S. IIORBJCH Sr CO., Attorneys. at Law, REAL ESTATE BROKERS, OMAHA CITY, N. T. I B. E. HARDING. C. EIMBOGH B. F. TOOMER. HMDIMG, KIMBGUGH 8c C9,, Jliiuitfiicturer and Wholnale Dealer in HATS, CAPS & STRAW GOODS, Ko 49 Main street, bet. Olive ana fine, ST. LOUIS, .va Particular attention paid to manufacturing our finest Mole Hat. J. HAUT & SON : SADDLE k UMll Oregon, Holt County, Missouri. Keepeontan tly on hand all descriptiou of Harness, Saddle, Bridle, Ac, 4c. X. B. Every article in our hopi manufactured by ouwelrend warranted to giveeatitifaction. REAL ESTATE AGENCY. GEORGE CLAYES. w- m. Clayoa &s Xjoo Real Estate and General Agency, OMAHA CITY. N". T. REFER TO James Wright, Broker, New Tork, Win. A. Woodwtrd, Eq. 44 44 Hon. R. "Wood, Ex-Gov. of Ohio, Cleveland, Wicks, Otic and Browncll, Bankers, 44 Aleolt uorion, , Col. Robert Campbell, St. U18, James Ridgway, L.q. Crawforn and Sackctt, Omaha City, Aug, 80, 1858. Chicago. Inl3-ly H. r. BESXETT, J. S. MORTOK, H. H. HARDING BENNET, MORTON & HARDING, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, jYebraska City, X. T., and Ghnwood, Ia. I . . . . i t . WILL practice in all tne uourtsoi jeorasKm no Western Iowa. Particular attention paid to burning, locating Land arrants,and collocuon oi debts. REFERENCE : nn. Lewi Caw, Detwit. Michigan; Julius D. Morton, " J ' Gov. Joel A. Mattejon, Springfield. Ill Gov. J. W. Grime, Iowa City, Iowa; B. I Fifiled, St. Loui:,Mo.: Hon. Daniel O. Morton. Toledo, Ohio; A. Sarpy, Bellevue, Nebraska: Sedgewich A AValker, Chicago, III: Green, Weare A Benton, Council Bluff,Iowa. T. B. CUX1NO. FOHX C. Tl BE. CDIIXG & Tl'RK, Attorneys at Law & Ileal Estate Agents, ,1 Lttt m m m llili ftilCUU i vu l - 1 - J " ness entrusted to them, in the Territorial or Iowa Courts, to the purchase of lot andlandj, cn trrie and pre-emption, collections, Ac. Dflice in the second tory of Henry t Rootsnew building, nearly opposite the Weatcxn Exchange Bank, 1-arnhara street. Dee. 27, 156. TlnZMr A. A.BBAPPOBD, WJt. MCLENSAN, Nebraska City,N. T. V. L. MC'GABT, Brownville,N. T. BRADFORD, McLEXNAN & McGARY, ATTOHIJBYS AT LAW AND SOLICITORS IX CILiXCERY. Brownvillc and Nebraska City, N. T. BEING permanently located in the Territory, we will give our entire time and attention to the practice of our profession, in all it branches. Mat ,.r. ;n i.it;-i.i.,n O.ill tions of Debt. Sales and rorchaseaof Koal Mtate, Selections oi iwn, ma ting of Land Warrants, and all other business en trusted to our management, will receive promptand ' - 5 . .. . . ... faithful attention. REFtKfct;fc5. S. F. Nuckolls, Richard Brown, Win. Hoblitiell A Co., Hon. James Craig, Hon. James M. Hughes, Hon. John R. Shepley, Messrs. Crow, MoCrcary 4 Co. Messrs. S. G. Uuhbar4 Co., Hon. J. M.Love, vl-l Nebraska Vity, BrownviUe, St. Joseph. Mo., St. Louis, Mo., u t " M Cincinnati O. Keokuk. Iowa. WILL give particular attention to preparing all wejj 0f In(Jja y,here initiates tp the mys the ncccswiry paper? for lre-emption, and . .... . , , , rendering any assiutanco which mny be required by teries OI ISIS, the good goddess, are hold aPtThTLrsrair.rroSe!P tUeif l,r0"emIliO,1 25: iter meetings. Parisian Sketcfi. , From oar own Correspondent. Tbc Temple. Paris, Not. 2, 1S57. Do you know what the Temple is ? Ask that question of a Parisian ; if rich he will disdainfully answer: "For what should I know it ?" But if poor, sighing he will say i "Alas, I do not know it enoujrh!" The Temple has its morals, ' customs and language, its national history, its ad- mirers and enemies, ana enemies, ine a era pie oi Paris is the resource of the poor, the Pro vidence of small means, the Eldorado of indigents. ' Its celebrity is European. It is the most popular establishment of Fa ris. Ask where you please the way to the Temple ; in the faubourg St. Germain or in Picpus street, in the Llysean Fields or at Belleville, at Mont Pamasse or-I 11 et Somebody who, tntbout hcsita ., , . tion, will indicate to you this bazar of the rag, this caravans? ry of old boots, old hats and fresh ribbons, this pandemonium in habited by stratagem and honesty, sordid interest, riches and poverty, infamy and honor, all things livinir side bv side under Those four sheds, examined at bird's eye view, resemble Egyptian sphinxs guarding the Rotonde, a large building wth heavy pillars. lie that believes he knows it does not know it. All is mystery to the profane penetrat ing for the first time under those sheds, blackened by drying winds and damp fogs. If he listens he believes himself trans ported at the bottom of some mysterious x he buiklintrs ct the 1 empie are sur rounded by Temple street, opposite St. Elizabeth church, by Dupetit-Thouars street, the Rotonde, and Percee street. In the central point of the four squares is the office of the market inspector, Mr. Straubharth, an intelligent, justand oblig- ing man, Ile is the justice of the peace always placed between tne sola purcnaser of lhe shirt conar)ha3 only to call at Ma and the clamourous merchant. j,,, T.n-r.nmW TTro ; th tr.flr THE FOUR SQUARES. The whole of these compartments, bro- ken through by mnummerable alleys, con tain 1,888 stands, occupied by 900 incum bents. In old times a merchant could oc cupy as many places as he desired, but now, four is the maximum. The stands are rented by the week, at the price of 47 cents ; forty-two cents for the city and five cents for the twelve watchmen who day and night guard the market. In an aggregate, the Temple brings annually $40,000 to the municipal administration. The first square, the most renowned be cause of its fancy and luxuirous objects, is called the Palais Royal. Here and there maybe found merchant women that are young, pretty, and even polite with peo ple buying without cheapening, an ex ceedingly rare accomplishment in that quarter. The kind of merchandize exhibited in this square is called frreolifes. 1 There you find bonnets, flowers, ribbons, laces, jewels, costumes, and all the accessories to theatrical performances. It is the rendez-vousof many actresses having new parts to establish, and of actors who buy at Madame Dottman's cleaned and extra superfine gloves for ten or fifteen cents. The lorettes who have to join some picnic party buy in the Palais Royal cocked hats for sixty or eighty cents. As for the bibis they are sold at ten cents, while the proletarian bonnet is yet still, maintained at the price of twenty cents. There the griscile, having economized a little sum cent by cent, buys her a new dress for the Toussaint or Easter days. But the industrious workman or poor actress are not the only ones to pay visits at the Temple. Look at that lady adorn ed. with velvet and furs; she alights, in front of St. Elizabeth church, from her gilded arms-painted carriage, and sullen ly she goes through the alleys of the ba zar. Look also at these parsimonious lorettes ; some gallant has given them a few thousand francs to buy a cacAwiire ; they want to be,' elegant at A a small ex pense, then make their purchase in the Temple and invest what is left of the mo ney in railroad shares. The second square is the Pavilion de. Flore. Here no more bnllant frivoliks the iourgeom succeeds to the nobiliary aristocracy, the utile to the agreeable, and the eye meets with! piles! of mattresses, blankets, bd furniture, curtains, clothes, &c, &c .. : I hesitate to trace the name of the third square but duty commands and truth is not satisfied w ith naif revelations. oorry 1 am for too delicate people, but this square has been nicknamed by its primitive inhabitants; Poa Volant, lr tying xx)use;. ine rirnan.e, we are W X x rr.1 . I - toldTimot a dander.! :. Iet then travel j with precaution over the domains of that insect of mythological wings. Here are lpreadthemost dirty clothe$ Vt n .u ij :. 1 I ii'ihi iir inv. nil' ll itt una mill iim itu. .ill o o -r again from. the. sewers and filthy holes of La Villette. It is the cask of the Da- naides always full and always empty. . Well, there is something still more cu- rious than this, it is the fourth square, which has been called La Ford JVotrc The Black porept ) Does this mme from the gombre . . r j - --o o i j there as sovereigns? Or does it not rath er rome because in the r oret INoire one is robbed like in a wood ? UtSTS TO PURCHASERS. To purchase in the Temple requires a cemiu studJr' a Vlnd of that can oniy ne acuirea Dy practice, n mis bazar has its inconveniences for the neo- phyte, it otters great resources to the ini- tiated indigent. There, for the small sum of forty cents a poor devil can dress from head to foot, viz Summer pants Summer coat Shoes . Cap Exchanged Shirt 10 cents. 11 " 5, " 4 " 10 IC Total, 40 cents. v hat is an exchanged shirt f are you going to enquire. , Learn then that the Temple has stalls where a dirty shirt can be exchanged for a clean one. It costs ten cents. One goes behind a folding-screen, ; the trade- woman throws a clean shirt and takes the worn shirt in exchange. . If the customer has some affection for socks, that luxury can be procured at the price of two cents. Whoever is possessed of the coquettery Exchange of a dirty shirt collar for a clean one, one cent; three shirt collars without exchange, two cents. I make no fancy in-these prices; they are of the strictest exactitude. Do not believe, however, the Temple is a one-price establishment. It cannot be too often repeated that purchasing there re quires an apprenticeship. A merchant will ask ten dollars for what he will give or one. Of a general rule the price of an article is based according to the want people seem to have fo r it. Never enter a stall of the Temple without beinrr requested to do so bv the merchant or his clerk. If vou step in without invitation, the merchant will say to himself : Or my goods please this gen- tleman, or his vanity makes him fearful of being seen by his acquaintances; he'll pay good. But, on the contrary, if it is only by reiterated requests that you consent to examine his goods, the merchant will of- ter them at low rates in order to gain your custom. Every knowing purchaser practices a system of indifference. I cannot help admiring the quickness with which fchop girls guess, in a seond, the wrong side of the toilette of a passer- by. Mark this : men at that are never so clever as women. When one of those sly ffirls cries out to a nasser-by, "Mister, we have hne pants, pants a la mode, a la tcoefc;" be nmrUl thf. mnn adrfrpsspd thus wears , j j ' UliVW -aw BMV v t w v v If she adds, "Quite ncr. sir; u1611 his pants are old. . If she says, "Very icarm," it is be cause she has seen the poor devil shiver. Has a passer-by eyed the goods with a mocking air, she will cry out : "They make men look fine, see my pants ; ils on des fondseux " : . That word tux is said in an outrageous manner. O, hunchbacks, low-legged, bandy-leg' ged, one-eyed men ! If you do not wish to purchase, do not pass a near the stalls the Temple. At your first refusal the most impertinent fashions will be proposed. To the hunchback, it will be a coat a la Mayeux; o the bandy-legged they will sav, "Examine and buy while business is "going ea Arnica Act. ' ; . : . (To be continued. Trust in God and Persevere. : 'Why so sad, Ernest,' said the young wife to her husband, affectionately twin- :ncr vpr nrrna arnnn, hii npclr. and Viss- in ST him. He looked up with a sad smile and re plied, I am almost out of heart, Mary. I think of all pursuits, a physician's pro- fessiori :s thft Here I have been! week after week, month after month, and I may soon say, year after year, waiting for practice, yet without success. A law yer may volunteer in a celebrated case, and so make himself' known, but a phy sician must sit patiently in his effice, and if unknown, see men without half his ac quirements rolling in wealth while he perhaps is starving. And it will soon come to that, he added bitterly if I do not get employment. An unbidden tear stole into the wife's eve. but she strove to smile, and said Do not despond, dear Ernest; I know you have talents and knowledge to make your way as soon as you sret a start, anu uepenu upon u, sne saiu wnn a cneenui smile, that will come when you least ex pect it.' 'So you have told me, often told me, but the lucky hour has never come, said her hustand despondimny. And now every cent of our little fortune has been expended, and our credit will soon be gone when it is found that we do not pay. What then is to become of us ? PmDc .c ; mnn,i t, rr IAA llVUk lift U AA&VTWU. 1A.AA.U IU AilVOh I sanguine sometimes experience when dis- appointment after disappointment has crushed the sptnt and the voice of hope is no longer heard within. His wife would have given to tears if she had been taming nim anu answereunim cneeriuny: . , - 1 if.?... 1 . n And what if every cent is gone f have no fear that "we shall starve. God sent ravens to feed Elijah, and he will yet in terpose for ouraid. Trust in him, dear Ernest. , The husband felt rebuked, as she thus spoke, and answered less despondihgly : But', really, Maty, this want of success would try the stoutest spirit. The me chanic, the day-laborer, the humblest far mer, is sure of his food and raiment : but 1 1 have spent years in study, have wasted years uesiues waiuug lur jimi-iice; anu now, when all my fortune is gone, if I resort to other means of livelihood, I loose all that I have, spent, both time. and money. and must abandon forever the idea to pursue my profession, it is too hard !' and he walked the room with rapid stri des. His wife sighed and remained silent. But, after a moment or two, she arose, and went up to him, and fondly encircling him with her arms, said : : 'Dear Ernest, you must not worry your- coif crt You think it is painful for me to bear p.erty tut a woman never regards such thinirs when she loves. A crust of bread and a log cabin would be prcfer- t0 me . 1 snared themjvitn you than a palace with any other. But . it will not come to this. Something within assures me that you will be great and rich. Have " 1 - i ti i-there is a knock at the door-it mav be f ' . As if her words had ' - a been prophetic, vVi 1 i 1 1 1 mrl trioir n1ir corvo nt onrtDtir ed at th;3scrisiSt and saiVthe dt0V was wanted in a great hurry. With an exult- ing smile, his wife ran to get his hat, and dcwa a beating heart to await his return. It was almost the first summons that the physician had received, although he had resided in the village more than a year. The place, too, was large and po- pulous, but there resided medical men ot larSe practice, ana an mese commneu to Jeretofore) Ernet would have abandoned the field in despair, but his young wife cheered nnd encouraged him though her own heart felt ready to give up. Mary Linwood was, indeed, the greatest of all blessings, a good wife ; she . sympathized with her husband, economized to the ut most, and by her sanguine words chased desponbency from his heart. ; Hour after hour she sat there awaiting her husband, yet still he came not. At length darkness set in, and she began to feel uneasy. She was about to go to the door, when she heard her husband's foot on tne steps, ana nurying out, sne met ,n e "jod bless you, alary, tor an angel as j you are,' were his first words. If it had If it had not been for you, I should have given up long ago, and now my fortune is made. Breathless with anxiety to hear all, yet not unmindful of probably weaned condi- tion; Mary hurried her husband into the Mr. Corwin said he bad only one ques little sitting-room, where the tea-things tion and put it. were laid, and began to pour out the re- Corwin. Have you read Wirt's Life freshing beverage with a trembling-hand while Ernest told the story of his day's absence. found,' he said, '1 was sent for to go to old Governor Huston's, the richest and most influential man, you know, in the whole country? and when I trot there I learned to my surprise that the Governor of had been thrown from his carriage and was thought to be dying. All the physi- cians of.the town had been sent for, one after another, but none could aid him. In despair, his wife without orders had sent for me. I saw his only chance for life depended on a new and difficult ope: ration which none of the other physicians ever caw performed. Luckily I assisted at one when a student stated what I thought could) Vo &S The old Governor is a man of iron ner- ves and a quick resolution : so, when he heard the others say that they could do nothing for him, he determined to commit himself to me. I succeeded beyond my hopes. Even tne otner pnysicians acknowledged my unrn. A skill, and there is nothing more but care required to make up my patient as well as ever. On parting he put this roll of notes into my hand. . Mary was mtearslong before her hus band had firished his narrative; but her heart went up in thankfulness to God for having thus interposed just at the crisis, when hope seemed gone. J rom that day Ernest Linwood was a made man. The lame of his skillful ope-1 ration was in every man's mouth, and by the aid of hispatient who now became his . patron he stepped into practice among the well as reputation flowed upon him ; but he always attributes his success to his wife, whose affection, he said, had sus- tained and. cheered him when out of heart. 4There is nothing, he would say, 4like a faithful wife ; under God, our weal or woe for this life depends on her. If she is desponding, your sanguine spirit catch es the affection ; but if she is full of hope ana energy, ner smiles will cneer you in the darkest hour nnd enable you to " wuai you nr mougni impossiDi- hu?s' Our success m the world as well as happiness, depends chiefly on our wi- ves- , a man marry one, therefore, equal to eiter fortune, who can adorn his , 1 -V " . u 'sulc" - y. iu uu tl vi- y "U1CCI - ' . , , It is fortunate that the gentlemen s - J,. U il. i! .U: K. Ml uy ic ume iucir uuia wumuuiiie dwindled down to this size ot a charity boy's ruffian-cap, and their trowsers would have swollen out to double the size' of a Turk's and Dutchman's stitched together. Within a few years fifteen daily papers have died in JJoston, and the proprietors of three of those still in existence have failed. This does not speak well for the 44 Athens" of the New World. There are but four daily papers in Boston now own ed by their original proprietors. There are stUl ten daily papers in that City, which must be at least five too many. There are but thirteen in New York. A boy got his grandfather's gun and loaded it, but was afraid to fire; he, how ever, liked the fun of loading, and so put in another charge, but still was at ram to fire. He kept on charging, but without firing, until he got six charges in the old piece. His grandmother learning his temerity, smartly reproved him and grasp ing the old continental discharged it. The result was tremendous, throwing the old lady on her back! She promptly strug gled to regain her feet, but the boy cried out: "Lay still, granny there are five more charges to get off yet ! There has been a lively time in the Il miui: linois College, at Jacksonville, afisinjr fro,n an exceedingly improper attempt of a young student to speak ot political to- I mra in hio ovcrrica Air xnnnfror r . 1 1V AAA lilJ V A V A V .'-.a J O I I A 14, studen, was rebuked bv the Facultv. and denied a hearing. Failing to find redress within the Avails of the college, he went outside and published a statement of the . J J ' case. Then the Professor of Rhetoric made a counterstatement, but . was put down by the class with contemptuous his ses. Next day, the offending student was expelled. The excitement in the college was intense, and the young gentlemen are in transports of wrath The following s:ood one Lj f rem the To ledo Blade : It is said that Tom Corwin, as he is fa miliarly called, was once trying a case in which he was opposed by the late Mr. Wirt, when the latter tried a most novel mode of discrediting the evidence of Mr. Corwin's chief witness, on whose, accura cy and discremination everything turned, by showing that he was a person of aston ishing credulity : Wirt. 'Hae you read Robinson Cru soe?' Witness. 'Yes. Wirt. 'Do you believe it all.' Witness. 'Well, ves. Squire, I don't tn0w but what I do.' The same answer was returned as to Gulliver s 1 ravels and several other works of fiction, Cornwin all the while works of fiction, fidgeting and getting hot. Presently Mr. Wirt, considering the man entirely flat- tened out, resigned him with a bland smile. of Patrick Henry ?' U'itnacD V". ' . Corwin. 4Do you believe it all ?' Witness. WThy, no, Squire, I can't quite go th a.' ' In England the latest returns show that out of the entire population the Smiths I reckon 1 in 73; Jones 1 in 6; YV llhams 1 in 115; Taylor 1 m 148; Davies 1 in 162; Brown 1 in 174. If Brown feels aggrieved at his position 6a the list, he may find comfort in knowing that his ini- tial letter commences more English names than any other letter in the alphabeL To think- too poorly of yourself is weakness; to think too well of yourself a folly. , Pun and Facts. If a cigar makes a man ill, wilt a che-' root make a Man-ilia T Love is like a cigar the longer it Why is praising children like opium ? ;cause it s a laudanum ? - ' Beca Mock no man for his snub nose, for yoa can never tell what may turn up. 'Good morning, Jones. How does the world use you I ' "It uses me up, thank Whv is coffee like an ate with a dull edsre 1 Because itrpouires to be irround. ' . , .' .... Vhy are ?UF reiga relations like our utt" vessels ?. Because . they are our tut A.lt Dr.. Franklin says : ,4If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from him," . , Long words, like long dresses, fre quently hide something'wrong about , the understanding. ' , The young lady who caughtagentle man's eye, has returned it because it had" a wee drop in it. When has a man a rightTto scold his wifeTabout his coflee? When he has plenty of grounds. Three things to be despised a braw ler in a workshop, a fool in fine clothes', and a slanderer. What is a difference between a woman anu a mau uogs One wears hoop and tne omer panu. Jones says of an ancient unmarried fe- maie Q was fearfuny and wonder- A touch of real calamity cures the ima ginary sorrows of those who make moun tains of molehills. ' ' - i. Honestyis aterm formerly used in the case of a man who paid for his newspa- J .V- f. ' t per and the coaon his back. Why have chickens no future state? Because they have theirnecks"twirled (next world) ia this. . ' '.' ' Unpleasant a first-rate appetite and nothing to eat. ' Quite as agreeable plenty to eat and no appetite. : - What animal has the greatest quantity of brainsThe hog, of course, for he has a "hogshead full" Relatives""are not neccssarily'ourlbest inenas, out tney cannot do us injury without being enemies to themselves. . "Is that a lightning 'bug 1" asked a short-sighted lady. lo, said the Miss, "It's a big bvg with a lighted cigar." Some body saysjfwife'should be like roasted lamb tender, and nicely Pressed. Somebody adds, "and without sauce." What is the difTerene between Henry VIII and a man in deep thought ? , One was a fat kind and the other is a thin cing. ' - ' ' On a young childbeing told that he must be broken of a bad habit, he actually replied ; "rapa, nadn t l better be men ded r r Some one says of a certain congrega tion, that they pray on their knees on Sunday, and. on their neighbors the rest of the week. Tom says, when they won't trust a fellow for his drink long enough for him to swallow it, he thinks credit a l&tlt too short. "What are you writing such a large hand for, Pat'"' 44 Why, you see that my grandmither is dafe, and I'm writing a loud letter to her !" An old bachelor left a boarding-house, in which were a number of old maids, on account of the 'miserable fair' set before him at table. 44 You've misrepresented me," said a member of Parliament to a reporter. "You misrepresented your constituents still more," was the reply. . The happiest man in the world is the one with just wealth enough to keep him in spirits, and just cnudren enough to make him industrious. Let a woman be decked with all the embellishments of art and nature yet, if boldness is Co be read in her face, it blots all the lines of beauty. Ladies are like watches pretty enouch to look at sweet faces and delicate hands but somewhat difficult to "regulate" when once set "agoing." A man came into a printing office to beg a paper, "Because," said he, ,4we like to read newspapers very much, but our neighbors are all too stingy to take one. A Boston mcgazine proves that God is not unconscious of the troubles in .Wall street, by quoting the words of the Psalm ist, "If I make my bed ia hell, behold, iuuu are lucre. "I say, mister," said one Yankee to another, how. came your eyes so erook- ed ?" ,4My eyes ? Why, by sitting be tween two girls, and trying to make love to both at the same time." . The best bank ever yet known is a bank of earth it never refuses to dis- a count to honest labor. And the best share is is the plowshare on which dividends are j al-xaya liberal. That's so. . I