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About Nebraska advertiser. (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 2, 1856)
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IS EDITED jVS"D FCELISEXD ETEBY SATTEDAY BT
. W. -FURNAS
Seccrd Street, bet. Haln and Water,
( Lake's Block,)
BROWNVILLB, N. T.
For one year (invariably in advance), -"
six months, - - - - '
RATES OF ADVERTISING:
ne square, (12 lines or less,) ore insertion,
!Kh adiitional insertion,
;c s jua.ro, cue month -
' 44 three months,"
" six months,
' " one year,
isines Cards of x lines or less one year,
-..e Column, one year, , . .
c-half Cdumn, one year, -'
eighth' " ' "
i Column, 6ix months,
half Column, six months,
fourth M "
'Column, three months,
half Column, three months, .
fourth " . 44
eighth . "
- twct-jc'tt' randidates for office.
Cash in advance will be required for all advertise
nts except Trhfere actual responsibility is known.
Tea perccnt for each change be added to the
tacdins Basinc's Cards of five lines orles3,for
No advertisements wul be considered by the year,
'ess specified on the manuscript, or previously
-eed nton between the rarties.
Vdvertiscmcnts not marked on the copy for a speci
1 number of insertions, will be continued until or
ed out. and charred accordingly.
ill advertisements from strangers or transient per
it. ta be raid in advance.
he privilege of yearly advertisers will be confined
lly toi-heir, own business ; and all advertisements
. pertaining thereto, to b paid for extra.
'JA leaded advertisements charged double the above
Vdvertisements on the inside exclusively will be
rged extra. " t
BOOS -MQ FANCY-
HIPP1KG BILLS, BALL TICKETS,
1 every other kkid f work that may be called for.
Having purchased, in connection with the "Reflec
r'f Office, an extensiv and excellent variety of
' the lat-est styles, we are prepared to do any kind of
rk mentioned in the above Catalogue, with neat-
The Proprietor, who, having had an extensive ex
rience, will give his personal attention to this branch
business, and hopes, in bis endeavors to please,
?h in the excellence of kis work, and reasonable
irges, to receive a share of the public patronage.
THOMPSON' & BUXTOU,
ATTORTIHVS AT LAV,
LOT. AND LIND AGENTS;
BROWNVILLE, N. T,
Till attend the Courts of 'Northern Missouri, Ne
ska and Western Iowa.
OSCAR F. LAKE & CO.,
iIID:'MD' LOT AGENTS,
OFFICE icn Uain, Vet. 1st and 2d gts ,
Brownville, IT. T.
A. S. HOLLADAY, II. D.
UllGEON, . PHYSICIAN
r BRO WNVILLE, N. T.;
'o'icits a share of public patronage, in the various
nches of Lis profession, from the citiicns of Brown
e and vicinity.
3. B. Sc J. D. N. THOIJPSON,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALERS IS
lardware, Queens rarc, Groceries, and
c EXiOVTKVILLE. IT. T..
W. HOBUTZELL & CO.,
. WHOLESALE AXD EETAIL DEALERS IS
RY GOODS. GROCERIES,
BROWNVILLE, N. T.
. E ARDING.' G. C. K3CBOVCH E. F. TOOMER.
I1ARD1IIG, KlMBQUGH & CO.,
Haufacturerg and WhoUtaU Dealer
ATS, CAPS & STRAW GOODS,
2o 49 Haia street, bet.' Olive tud Piae,
; :st1 louis, no. .
j-ticular attention paid to manufacturing our
st Hole Hats. r.
MISS MAIlinY. TURNER,
And. IDroBS 2kIalx.or.
nt Street, between "IT&in and Water,
BROWNVILLE, N. T.
vnncti and Irimmings always cii hand.
Cr 7. WHEEL3R,
rownviUo, 2XT. r
T. LJ- RICKETTS,
"osters,. T'l .
taloes j y-
AN INDEPENDENT WEEKLY NEWSPAPER DEVOTED
JAMES W. GIBSON,;
BLACKS H I T. II ,
Second Street, between Alain and Nebraska,
BROWNVILLE, N. T.
A. L. COATE,
. BROWNYILLE, NEMAHA CO.
E'etr.oska Territory. " -
E. M. M'COMAS,
' a?:d obstetrician,
Tto Miles from . Brownville, on claim near Mr.
Couckigs: Tenders his professional services to the
citizens of Nemaha county.
NUCKOLLS, RUSSELL, & CO.
WHOLESALE AND KETi.IL DKA1.KSS IN .
iy um, mm
EARDWARE AND CUTLERY,
Hedicines, Dye Stufi,
Saddlery, Boots & Shoes, Hats & Caps,
QTJEE2TSWAEE, T0NET7AE, TUfWAIffi,
IRON, NAILS, STOVES, PLOWS Ac. .
Alio Furniture of all kinds, Window Sash, 4c
C. V. SNOW,
S-- - Aooouclioiir,
ROCKPORT, MO, .
OLIVER BENNETT & CO.,
Manufacturers and Whalesale Dealers in
BOOTS AND SHOES,
NO. 8T MAIN STREET,
(FOBMEBLV, NO. 101, CoBXEB OP MAIS AXD LOCTST
-ST. LOUIS, MO.
A. D. KIRK,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Land Ageat and Notary Public,
Archer, "Richardson county, N. T.
Will practice in the Courts of Nebraska, assisted
oy naraing ana ienneix, ieorusiia iijr. ,
'TT A A "V" 1 1
SPRIGMAN & BROW,
RAILROAD AtlD STEAMBOAT
. . AGENTS.
And General Commission merchants.
No. 46,-Public Landing.
J. HART & SON
. Oregon, Holt Couuty, Missouri. A
Keep constantly on hand all description of Harness,
Saddles, Bridles, &c, &c.
N. B. Every article in our shop is manufactured
by ourselves, and warranted to give satisfaction.
Lffl ffiffl LOT ffllT,
AND AGENT FOR
BROWNVILLE, N. T.
, OMAHA CITY, N. T. w
D EQUTRED to be in attendance oficially upon all
XV the terms of the District and Supreme Court of
tne lemtory, tenders nis rroiessional services to such
as need them. He flatters himself that his facilities
for gaining a knowledge of the practice in each Dis
trict, will enable him to give satisfaction to such as
entrust their business to his care.
Omaha Cityr June 7, 1 856.
c. r. SAILY.
B. P. BAXECJ.
BALLY '& RANKIN,
OMAHA CITY, N. T.
H. P. BEXXETT, 3. 8. HORTOX, K. II. HARDING
BENNET, MORTON & IIARDING.
Attorneys at Law,
Nebraska City, If. T., and Glen wood, la.
WILL practice in all the Courts of Nebraska and
Western Iowa. Particular attention paid to
obtaining, locating Land Warrants, and collection of
Hon. Lewis Cass, Detroit. r.
Julius D.Morton, ( clugao;
Gov. Joel A. Matteson, Springfield, LU;
Gov. J. W. Grimes, Iowa City, Iowa;
B. P. Fifiled, St. Louis, Mo.;
Hon. Daniel O. Morton, Toledo, Ohioj
P. A. Sarpy, Bellevue, Nebraska;
- Sedgewich & Walker, Chicago, Til: - .
Green. Weare & Benton, Council Bluffs, Iowa.
A. A. BRADFORD,
Nebraska City, N. T.
n. l. mc'gart.
Brownville, N. T.
BRADFORD, McLENNAN & McGARY,
ITTOflDEYS JIT LAW
Brownville nnd Nebraska City,
TTTLNG Trmanentlv Wated in th TprrUnr w
X) will give our entire time and attention to the
. A S vs.. .
prmcuce 01 our proiession, in ail its brancnes. blat
ters in Litigation, Collections tf Debti, Sales and
rurcnases 01 iteai instate, Selections of Land, Loca
tins of Land Warrants, and nthnr ns;na n
trusted to our management, will receive prompt and
S. F. Nuckollj,
Wm. Hoblitiell & Co.,
Hon. James Craig,
lion. James M. Hughes,
lion. John R. Shcpley,
Me?sr3. Crew, MeCrearyA Co.
Mes?rs. S. G. Hubbard k Co.,
Hon. J. M. Love,
St. Joseph, Mo.,
St, Lonis, Mo.,
Cincinnati O. -Keokuk,
. June 7, 1850.
LENEDICTS APPEAL TO A BACHE102.'
BT JOEX G. SAES.
Dear Charles be persuaded to wed
; For a sensible fellow lik you,
. It'B high time t think of a bed,
And muSns and coffee for two.
. So have done with your doubts acd delayin
With a soul adapted to mingle,
No wonder the reighbora are saying ...
;. . T:j g-agularyou should be sinjlo! .
Doa't say that you bavn't got time
That business demands your attention ; .
There is not xhe least reason or rhyme
In the wisest excuse you can ir-ention.
Don't tell me about "othtir nah" ;
Your duty is done whiai you buy 'em!
' And you never will relish the dish,
Unless you've a womaa to fry 'em!
You may dream of poetwal fame,
But your wishes may chance "to miscarry
The best way of sending one's name
To posterity, Charles, is to many!
And hero I am willing to own, ) '
. After Boberiy thinking upon it, , . s;
I'd very much rather bo known ; ,
By a beautiful eon than a sonnot!
Then Charles, bid your doubting good bye, '
And dismiss all fantastic alarms ,.
Ill be iwora you've a girl in your eye,
Tia your duty to have n your arms!
Seme trim little maiden of twenty, .
A beautiful azure-eyed elf, "; '
And virtues and graces in plenty,
And no failing but loving yourself !
PoU't search for an "angel" a minute
For, granting you win in the sequel,
The deuce, after all, would be in it
With a union bo very unequal!
The angels, it must be confessed,
In this world are rather uncommon;
And allow me, dear Charles, to suggest
You'll be better content with a woman! -
Then there's the economy, dear,
. , . By poetical algebra shown . ; .
If your wife has a grief or a tear,
One-half by the laws, is your own!
And as to the joys, by division
' They're nearly quadrupled, 'tis Baid
(though I never could see the addition
Quite plain in the item of bread.)
I0VE, SWEET LOVE.
The air is filled with angel song, '
An under-song of wooing t
As the leaf-enshrouded woods o'erfiow
With the sound of the ringdove's- cooing.
In Nature's deepest haunts .
I hear a voice that chants:
Why should the earth grow cold with care,
Since Love, sweet Love, is everywhere!"
You will hear at night, if ye listen well,
Music in heaven ringing ;
And amid the stars a melody,
As of angel-voices singing;
For the spirits who in tho sphere of light
Have made their happy dwelling, ' . '
To each other across the depths of space
Their tales of love are telling.
The srnbeams leave their glowing tlirone,
And whisper love to the flowers;
The birds outpour it in their strains,
As they sit in their rose crowned bowers.
When the breeze Bwells mournfully
Through tho boughs of a swaying tree,
I ever heard a voice declare
That "Love, sweet Lore, is everywherer
In the moaning thunder of the wares, '
That dash on some rocky shore;
On the tuneful flow of the ripply tide,
When a tempest's rage is o'er
In the murmured music of the brook
As it rushes the sea to gain;
Or the sullen plash on a silent pool
Or tho the swiftly falling rain
In tho glooful laugh of the dancing spray,
From some skyward leaping fountain;
Or the ceaseless roar of a white cascade,
In its giant-bound from the mountain
Thcro falleth on mine car
This song so sweet and elear:
"All, why uhould man e'er feel despair
Since Love, sweet Love, is everywhere!"
We parted in silence, we parted at night,
On the banks of that lonely river,
Whcrj the fragrant limes their boughs units,
Wo met, and we parted forever.
The nfght wind sang, and the stars abore
Told many a touching story
Of friends long past to the kingdom of love,
Whore tho soul wears its mantlo cf glory.
But ere we sighed our last farewell,
In wild and bitter sorrow, . .
Our whispered vows (remembered well ) '
Spoke peace to the coming morrow.
The lips that echoed that row of mino .
Are cold as that loaoly river,
And thr.t eye (the beautiful spirit-shrine)
Has throuded its five forever.
And now on the midnight sky I look,
And my heart grows full to weeping; ,
Each star is to me a sealed book,
Some tale of tho loved one keeping.
We parted in silence, we parted in tears
On the banks of that lonely river,
But the fragrance and bloom of those bygone years.
Will hang round its waters forever.
There Is an eye that never rfeeps
Beneath the wing of night,
There U an ear that never shuts,
When sink the beams of light.
There is on arm that never tires, ;
When human strength gives way;
Thre ia a lovo that never fails,
When earthly loves decay.
That eye is fixed oa seraph throng;
That en r is filled with angels' songs;
That arm uphold the worlds on high;
That love is shown beyond tho sky.
But there's a power which man can wield,
When mortid. aid is vain;
That eT,.that armr that love to reach
That listening ear to gain:
That power is Prater, which soars on high,
And 'ecdj on Hiss beyond the sky.
TO MATTERS OF GENERAL ; INTEREST ; 1XK
i From the American Messenger.
. TEE SLEEPLESS EIGHT.' , . ' I
"I wish the clock would not tick so
loud; I don't see -why I can't get asleep "
said Kuth .Beach, half aloud, as she
tossed and tumbled, about j her, - bed,
doubling up her pillow one moment to
make it higher, and. then throYrins it
aside, in her rain efforts to find an easy
position.-.. 5Tm sure I didn't -jiteal; Fie
done no harm. : fche generally dropped
asleep soon after lying down, and slept
so soundly, thatii she chanced to wake
when her father and mother retired in
the next room, it seemed morning.
How now, she had listened to the foot
steps of her brothers and sisters as they
went to their rooms, had heard her
father wind up the old clock ia the hall,
and' her mother's voice hushing, the
baby all was still in the house except
the ever-tickmg clock, and yet she
could not sleep. . Shall I tell you what
troubled the little girl, so that the sound
of the good old clock, whose faco she
had looked up to from infancy was so
distressing to her ears: . : :
Ruth had been committing a very
great sin. The little boy who sat next
to her in school, had a couple of new
story books which he was too disoblig
ing to show. 'She had looked at the
beautiful blue covers, and bright gild
ins manv times, and wandered what
was between them, and what the pictures
were about, till she broke the Tenth
Commandment, and coveted her neigh
bor's goods. After the children went
home, and the teacher had locked-the
school-house door, and passed out of
sight, Ruth lingered talking with Kitty
Waters, a lively romping girl, who
feared no one. She was "Urging Kitty
to climb in the back window with r her.
"I'd iust as soon do it as not," said
Kitty; "but what do you want?" "I'll
show you when we "are in," said Ruth;
and raising the window she helped
Kittv; and climbed in after her.: Ruth
then led tho way to Charley's desk,
and opening it, said, 'Look, Kitty,
want one 01 tnoso dooks. jxow, you
can take it and giro it to me, and we
can both say, I didn't do it,' when the
teacher finds it out, and makes a fuss
Kitty stood still a moment, as if not
comprehending Ruth's meaning, and
then touching the gilded letters with
her fore-finger, she stopped and read
the titles; and said, "Now, Ruth, if
you wanted to play a trick on Charley,
1 d like the fun of hiding one of them
a little while; but I dare not steal, for
"No one would ever know it, Kitty,
and we would have fine times reading
it in our barn after school; besides,
Charley is so mean he deserves to lose
"O Ruth," said Kitty, as she looked
shudderingly around the empty school
room, "God will know it. It scares
me to think of being a thief. Do let
us go out again." -
Ruth shut the deskj after giving the
books another longing look; and while
Kitty bounded out of the window, and
ran down the hill with a light merry
laugh, she walked , with a slow guilty
step, and calling Kitty, begged her
"never to tell."
"No, I shan't think of it again,"
said Kitty, as she hurried into her
father's house, close by. the . school
room. Ruth could not say the same;
she thought of it again and again, and
so often said, "I don't, sec why I feel
bad. I didn't steal. . I have done no
harm. Charley's books are safe in his
desk." The old clock ticked on, and
seemed to say, "Ruth, what have you
done? what have. you done?" "Noth
ing," replied Ruth over and over again,
and just before midnight sunk into an
uneasy slumber. . ' . . ; '
Ruth was a thief, although Charley's
books were safe in his desk. The
Bible says, "As he thinketh in his heart,
so is he." She first coveted the books,
and then tried to make her little friend
steal; and nothing but the fear of being
found out, kept her from taking them
from the desk. God saw her heart,
and in his eyes she was a thief. No
wonder she tossed and groaned upon
her bed, and could find no rest. No
rest can be found for her, but in repent
ing of her sin, and asking God to for
give her, and keep her in future from
wishing for thinus that do not belong
to her. God looks through the out
ward conduct at the heart, and the boy
or girl who partakes of any thing
which has been stolen, or makes up his
mind to deny something he has clone,
in case he 13 accused, or tempts his
companions to sin, may try to comfort
himself by saying, "I did not steal;"
"I did not lie;" "I've done no harm;"
yet the solemn words, "As he thinketh
in his heart, so is he," will be spoken
in his cars by the voice of a guilty con
CPiums OP THE PEES3.- ; -A
man who would cheat a nrinter
would steal a nieeting-house and rob a
church-yard. - If J he had' a soul, ten
thousand of its size would have more
room in a musquito's eye than I all
frog in the Pacific Ocean. - He ought
to be winked at by blind people and
kicked to death across logs by cripples.
T-Ann Arbor Wolverine,. "
. Amen! Such ; a being would steal
the molasses oift of a sick nigger's
ginger-cake; take from a drunken man's
mouth his last chew of tobacco; wain
at night through the rain to deprive a
blind sheep of its fodder; travel fifty
miles on a fasting stomach to .cheat a
dying woman out of her coffin, and
steal wax out of a dead dog's ears.
buch a man ought to be tied to
sheep's tail and butted ,to death.
Florence Enq. r ,
Exactly so, and that isn't all. He
would break a surveyor's level to get
out the alcohol, and his wife's watch
for the; mock jewels; bid against a
widow at her dead , husband s auction,
and steal the orphans shoe-strings
before daylight. Tern. Banner.
. Yes, thousands of such soiih as that
would rattle in a mustard seed dance
contra dances on the point of a wasp's
sting--or inarch abreast "through the
eye of a cambric needle. A solar
microscope would fail to discover them,
and when found they would not fit the
smallest cranny m creation.- Post
'.Such a man would dislike the charac
ter of a Washington, and prefer to pay
two bits for a game of billiards than
give one dime towards building a monu
ment to his memoi -y. rPlaquamine
Yes; and that aint all. Such a fel
low would rob a lame goose's nest of
the last egg steal a rat s tail from
blind kitten; for . there's nothing low
and mean he wouldn t do. He should
be tied up to a broomstick and scolded
to death by old maids, and then his
bones should be made into buttons to
be worn on the breeches of convicts.
Rising Sun Mirror;
Thats a fact, and that aint all.
Such a scoundrel would steal the clothes
from his mother's bed on a cold night,
and take his father's coffin to ride
down hill on. A man like this ought
to have tho seven years itch, and not
be allowed to scratch. Gazette,
All the above out to be a mere pre
liminary sufferings the "prologue to
the swelling act," of his final doom.
He should be eventually consigned to
to a Tophet, where his perpetual punish
ment would be to read the newspaper
squiDs perpetrateti at nis expense.
Sunday Times. '
A good story is told of that rare old
patriot, Col. Ethan Allen whose services
in the "times that tried men's souls"
were only equalledby hi3 daring asser
tion of the right of private opinion on
theological matters. A well known
divine pastor of the village church,
called one evening on the Colonel, and
while enjoying his true New England
hospitality at the supper table the con
versation turned upon church matters.
Quoth the minister "Colonel, how
does it happen that a man of your ex
tensive influence and information has
never seen it his duty to join our socie
ty? -You know we want laborers in
the vineyard -especially such laborers
as you arc. Your example would tend
greatly to strengthen our hand and
fortify our hearts against the : dire
assaults of the evil one."
"Well, brother,", replied Allen "I
have often thought as you do about the
business, and one day I had almost
made up my mind to fall into the ranks,
but that night I had a dream which
caused me to give it up."
"Ah!" exclaimed the minister, "what
did you dream?"
"Well, I thought I was standing at
the entrance of Paridise, and saw a
man go up and knock.
il Who's that?" asked a voice from
" 'A friend wishing admittance was
"The door was opened, and the keep
er stepped out. -
"'Well, sir what denomination did
you belong to down yonder?'
" 'I am an Episcopalian replied the
candidate for admission.
" 'Go in then, and take a seat near
the door, on the east side.'
"Just then another stepped up; he
was a Presbyterian, and the guardian
directed him to take a seat.
"A large number were admitted, and
received directions whereto scat them
selves. I then stepped up to the en
'"Well, sir who are you?' asked the
":'I am neither High Churchman
Presbyterian, Lutheran, Calvinist,
Catholic or Jew; but I, am that same
THE ! COMMUNITY '
old'Ethan Allen you probably have
heard of from below.' ' ' -
"What! the man that took' Ticon-
" 'I ho same, I replied.
"'All right, : Ethan said he; 'just
step m and sit down wheretoi you
PLEASE; , - ' -
Bocn3.It is chiefly through books
that we enjoy intercourse withsuperier
minds: and the3e invaluable means of
communication are within the reach of
all, ' In the best bocla
with us, . givo us their " most precious
THE APERTURE IN THE GAUDEN TALL.
An English lady, whose soul was
anve to tnc. subject 01 religion, one
day found a poor man at work in the
garden wall, and pressed upon his at
tentioh, in glowing language, the im
i 1 . i
portance 01 repentance ana iaitn m
Christ. She had no idea that her
harangue was heard by any one, save
by him to whom it was addressed.
J Some time passed away, whenmeet
ing another servant belonging to her
establishment, she said sorrowfully,
"I nomas, 1 fear vou never prav, or
look to Christ for salvation."
. "Your.1 ladyship i3 mistaken," he
said. "I heard what passed between
you and James at the garden wall, and
the word3 you meant lor him took enect
, "How did you hear it?"
. "I heard it on the other side of the
garden, through a hole in the wall, and
I shall never forget the impression
received." - ; .
We arei remindedby this anecdote
which we somewhere read of the im
portance of "sowing beside all waters."
Walls have .cars, is an old adge in
thi3 case it proved truej and would that
the messages to which they listen! were
always on as important subjects as the
soul's eternal salvation. Little did the
earnest lady imagine that her words
were destined to benefit an unseen
listener! Perhaps she looked and
marveled at the apathy with which the
man, who sat squaring his rocks, and
placing his mortar on top of the wall
above her, regarded so momentus a
subicct. Perhaps she turned
from his stolid countenance,
which no ray of interested intelligence
beamed, and thought mentrlly about
the parable of "casting '. pearls before
swine." But the labor was not lost.
The seed sown was destined to bear its
precious harvest the bread cast upon
the waters came back to its owner,
after many days; . '
"In the morning so thy seed, and m
the evening withhold not thine hand,
for thou knowest not whether shall
prosper, either this or that, or whether
they both shall be alike good
Disinfecting Agents. The best
and most simpla disinfecting agent
known is the chlorid of zinc. It is made
by disolving zinc' in muratic acid, and
is applied in a diluted state to foul and
offensive drains cesspools, etc. The
sulphate of zinc, howeverj is nearly as
good, is cheaper, and 13 more . easily
managed. It can be purchased of any
druggestj in the form pf a salt. '. A
pound of it dissolved in two pails of
warm water$ and. thrown intQ an
offensive cesspool, will soon deodorize
it. During hot weather this disinfect
ing agent . should be applied pretty
freely in thousands of places in Cin
cinnati and other cities. Copperas
-sulphate of iron may be applied in
the same manner, and for the same
purpose,' It is not such a good disin
fectant a3 the chlorid of zinc, but it is
much cheaper. - -
Desultory . Study. A ! p erson
enamored by the charms of universal
knowledge, and flying from the pursuit
of one science to another, is like a
child gathering shells on the sea-shore.
He first loads himself indiscriminately
with as many as he can carryj but
when tempted by others of a gayer
appearance, he throws the former away;
thus he continues throwing and reject
ing, till, fatigued and bewildered in his
choice, he throws all away, and returns
1 ' fxl j. i it rt ,
nome iviinoui a single sneii. cucn is
reading and study, without some definite
"There ho gees' again," said Mrs.
Partington in tho Legislature, as
member stood up for the fifth time to
speak on a question. "There he goes
like a soda fountain, and just a Jluidly
as water. Now, Isaac, mind him, and
see if you can't become a speaker of
tne house of reprehensibles sometimes.
a ueciare, continued sne, as a new
burst of eloquence1 reached her ear.
"It does seem as if the mantlepiece of
A7u.ii. n uuiiur iiau xcu uu iu mm, C 13
so bright." Boston Post.
The rock on which hard drinkers
split is quartz.
Remembei ye who ridicule a'youh
man for his parsimony, that bv and b V
ho can be generous when you InvJ,
nothing to give - i
- ..... ,
Advice To Barnuji. Now ycu'?e(
written your life, try to niend it.
Lazines3 travels so slowly that poms'
ty soon overtakes hr. ;' .
Quill 3 are taken from the p!.r.k:..i f
one goose to spread the opinions "of
another , ' .. . ;i ;
An old maid down east says thi v
make no good looking glasses r.o?.;t-
The ioliy chap who married a fat old
lady with 100,000, says it wa3 no'thk
wife's face attracted him so much "aW
her figurti . ; ' ' . '
' "What is a backbiter?" asked the.
parson of his Sunday "school. This"'
was a poser, till a little urchin answer-3
ed, "be he a flea?" . , ;
A collegian, enlightening a farmer
upon animalcula, applied his raicroscop o
to the cheese; saying, "1 ow, look and
see them wiggle." "Well ," said tho
farmer, placing the chcece in his moutb;
"let them wiggle, lean stand it as long
as they can' ... .,, ... . ,
"You" ask and you receive riot, bc
cause ask 'a-miss" said a young lady
to an old gentleman who had popped
the question to her.- ' : ' '
, An honest Dutchman, on being askecl
how often ho shaved, said, "Dree climes
a week, every day but Soontay Dehi
I shafe every fay." . ; ' .
The sea of matrimony is often, dis
turbed by "squalls." ' ; ; , : - ' .V
The Main Law and Theology are ai
variance; for the "spirits of the just'
as. well a3 the wicked,- are doomed td
destruction. ' '
"I can marry any girl I 'please'
said a young man boastingly. "Very
true," replied his waggish companion,
"for you can't please any." ;
Felons generally appear on ths ends
of the fingers and thumbsf but some
times on the end of a rope.- ; ;
"Why don't you hold your head un
in the world a3 I do?" asked a haughty
lawyer of a sterling old. 'fajmer.-
"Squire' said the farmer, , "see. that
field of grain; the well-filled head hung
down, while those only that are empty
sxanu uprignr. 4 . : .''"-;.
Girls kissing each other "a wicked
waste of the raw material.-" "
In New Haven, the Medical'ColIegc
is on the road to the' ccmcteru; tho Di
vinity College; on the road to the Poor
House; and the Law School on the road
to the Jail! - . '
Woman will forgive every thing in a
man but neglect; every
woman except her beauty;
Drinking healths is bad diet. ' Ito
who drinks the health of every body
drinks away his own. ,. ,
"Docter, can you tell me why my
eyes are so weak.'" "Yes' -replied
Galen, "because they are in a weak
At what time of life may a man . hp
said to belong ta the Vegetable king
dom? When experience hag made him
sage. . . . . :
A quack medicine-maker advertises
a poultice that will draw out men's
virtues. Their; vices may . he drawn
out without the aid of poultices.
If you want to attract attention, go
into church,- seme Sunday, after; tho
services have begun, in a pair of new,
squeaking boots, and ' parade up the
An editor who became militia cap tan,
was about to order hi3 men, on training,
"Two pace3 in front advance' cried
out in mistake, "Cash, two dollars a
year, in advance" He wa3 ccurt
martialed and ignominiously ordered
to read his own paper fcur-and-twenty
. A witness in a liquor case at lMan
Chester, N. Y.r the other day, gave tho
following testimony: "Salsoda is ice,
and some stuff squirted into it from" a
concern. Don't know whether it U
intoxicating or not it makes one feel
good feet lift easier." '
Mrs. Smithers says her husband was
once tho greatest military man in the
country. For two years he was -a
Lieutenant in the Horse Marines, after
which he was promoted to a Captaincy
in a regular company of sapheads and
The boy that is whipped too ranch,
and they boy that isjhinpcd too Utile,
arc both 'equally Bad. The one 13
spoiled with raw-hides the other with
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