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The Commoner
. -VOL. 16, NO. 4
30
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10
HAROLD AND HIS PA
."Papa, what is the matter with Mr.
Bryan?"
'Harold's father laid down his
sporting section and looked severely
at tho earnest face of his son.
"My boy," ho said, "I am willing
to help you in your studios by giving
you tho bonoflt of my experience and
to otimulato In every way your ambi
tion to know tho history of your
country, but there's ono subject I can
not discuss I can't control myself."
Harold's youthful form shook with
glee.
"I saw two men got into an awful
flght about Mr. Bryan yesterday," he
said, "and I know what you mean,
and that's why I asked. You soo, our
curront-ovonts teacher wouldn't toll
because sho said wo must bo neutral
In all things, and these two men, I
guoss they didn't care."
Harold's futher, in spite of him
self, was becoming interested espe
cially at tho mention of a flght.
- "What did they do?" ho said.
"Didn't they agreo?"
"Agree! Woll I should say not.
Ono man said that Mi. Bryan was a
force for good and a man of peace,
and tho othor man laughed scornful
ly, just tho way mother does at you,
and ho said Bryan was the limit and
ho was a four-ilushor whatever that
Is and a traitor to his country and
no decent pooplo could stand for him,
and thon tho other man said, 'You
don't know what you aro talking
about. Ho is tho only man to save
us, from tho grafters, and ho put Wil
son in, and ho stands for righteous
ness,' and boforo I knew it there was
a regular scrap on and it was great."
Harold's father's face flushed.
"I wish I'd boon thero!" ho ex
claimed. "Of course that man was
right. I hope ho did tho other man
up."
"Which man was right, father?"
"Why tho man who said Bryan was
no good."
"Oh, that's what you think, do you,
father? I wish you would tell me
why, and I promise not to get mad,
because you know I'm only a boy and
I really want to know."
Harold's father's voice actually
trembled with agitation as ho re
plied: "My son, I'll try to control myself,
because for tho good of our beloved
country I think all our future citizens
should be sot right about men like
Bryan."
His voice trembled some more.
"Listen carefully," he continued.
"Mr. Bryan is a man who has been
running for presidpnt ever sinceyou
were born."
"Yes, father, my teacher said that
much, but is there anything wrong
about that. I am awfully anxious to
run for president, and mamma often
says I'm a good boy."
"No, Harold, It is all right to run
for president, but not the way Mr.
Bryan doesi Ho started out by ad
vocating free silver."
"Oh, papa, wouldn't that be great!
Think of what I could buy if all the
silver was free."
Plarold's father made an effort to
control himself.
"Our gold standard," he said dra
matically, "is the fundamental basis
of our government. But more than
that, Mr. Bryan forced the President
to mako him secretary of state, and
then at a critical moment resigned
his job when the country needed him,
just because he wanted to be presi
dent. "But, papa, if the country needed
him,, why shouldn't he be president?"
Harold's father got up. His face
flushed some more.
"Look here!" he exclaimed. "I'm
trying to show you that Mr. Bryan Is
the biggest blatherskite we ever had
to contend with. He would just love
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to havo ua invaded by a foreign en
emy! "
"But, papa, what I don't under
stand is, why, if he is all that, any
body cares? If he is no good why
do people got so mad about him? It's
awful funny to me why "
His father grabbed him by the col
lar. "Come, now!" ho roared. "That
will do from you. Go out and play!
And if you value your young life,
never mention that man's name to me
again!" Life.
Tho Answer
They were speaking of marriage
proposals the other evening, when
this story was recalled by Senator
Benjamin R. Tillman of South Caro
lina: Some time ago a young man be
came very much enamored of a beau
tiful girl, and, meeting her at a re
ception one night, he determined to
know his fate.
"Miss Smith," said he, leading the
beautiful girl amidst the glad palms
and seating her on a soft sofa, "there
is something that I must tell you,
something that I "
"All right, Mr. Jones," interposed
the pretty one, "only you must hur
ry. I don't want to miss the next
waltz."
"It Is a question that lies near to
my heart, JMiss Smith," continued the
young lover. "Could you do you'
think you could marry a man like
me?"
"Why, yes," was the calm rejoind
er of Miss Smith, "that is, if he
wasn't too much like you." Phila
delphia Telegraph.
Of Course
Tho Inspector was examining a
school and all the class had been
specially told beforehand by its
teacher, "Don't answer unless you
are almost certain your answer is cor
rect." The subject was history.
"Who," asked the inspector, was
the mother of the greatest Scottish
hero and king, Robert Bruce?"
Ho pointed to the boy in front of
him and then round the class. There
was no answer. Then, at last, the
heart of the teached leaped with joy.
The boy who was standing at the
very foot indicated that he knew.
"Well, my boy," continued the in
spector, "who was she?"
"Mrs. Bruce," said the lad. Chi
cago Journal.
Had Poor Chance
A new minister in a rural district
who wished to make the acquaintance
of the members of his congregation
and also to discover whether they
were pleased with his discourse, met
an old farmer whose face he recog
nized as one who had attended the
church the previous Sunday, and
stopping him, said:
"Mr. Brown, how did you like my
sermon last Sunday?"
"Well, parson," replied the old
man, "you see, I didn't have a fair
chance to judge. Right in front of
me was old Mrs. Smith and the rest
of that gang with their mouths wide
open just a swallerin' down all the
beat of your sermon; V what reached
me, parson, was purty poor stuff,
purty poor stuff. "-Chicago News.
In the Long Run
Mavor Thnmnann n. nut
talking, at a dinner about the mon
strous parades ?oj and; against Sun-!
day closlntr tharTV&ro i,a i.,",
the Wind ouV "" "" '""mug
"The Sunday closing law is nnJ
being enforced by us," he said b2J
can we keep it up? We have the ad
vantage, but to make our advantage
permanent we must work very hard
Otherwise our opponents will be in
the position of tho bachelor at tho
Christmas ball down and out at
first, but victorious in the long run
"This bachelor, tall and lean and
distinguished looking, approached a
careworn fat man and held out his
hand.
i
Hello, Smith,' he said, cordialiv
'How glad I am to see you. it's
seventeen years since '
"But Smith frowned and said in a
worried, cold voice:
" 'Beg pardon. You have the ad
vantage of me.'
" 'Yes, I know I have,' said tho
stranger. 'That's why I'm so pleased.
We were rivals for Minnie Madden's
hand don't you remember? and
she rejected me and married you.' "
Washington Star.
Too Literal
"Serbia and Belgium and such lit
tle countries mustn't take England
too literally when she says she is go
ing to help ihem." The speaker was
Kurt Ziegler, German consul to Den
ver. He went on:
"To take England literally when
she offers you help is to be as foolish
as tho dyspeptic farmer."
"A doctor brought a dyspeptic a
big brown pill ono day.
" 'I want you to try this pill to
night at bedtime he said. 'It's a
new treatment, and if you retain it
on your stomach it ought to cur
you.'
"The next day the doctor called
again.
" 'Did you manage to retain the
pill on your stomach?' he asked
eagerly.
" 'Well, the pill was all right,' tho
1
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