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sbptbmbbb; 1915
The Commoner
31
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Sympathy
He never shed a single tear
Nor heaved a tender sigh;
Cold, calculating, sharp and clear
Was every day, .his eye.
Always his judgment rules his deeds,
And reason marked his plan;
But what this old world really needs
Is sympathy from man.
It needs the eyes that fill with tears,
The throats that knows the rise
Of choking lumps, when grief ap
pears Far more than judgment wise.
It needs the hasty hands that do
The gentle things and kind
That beating hearts impel them to,
Far more than-poise of mind.
He felt no touch of other's pain,
Nor knew another's woe',
He looked on. sentiment as vain,
His heart was .cold as snow. ,
Brain was the god he calmly served,
At .every time or place,
He thought it shame to be unnerved,
Tears were to him disgrace.
And yet before all reason calm,
The weeping eyes should be:
The world ,must have the soothing
balm
Of tender sympathy. .
I sing the hot, impulsive deeds
That kindly people do,
For these are what the old world I
needs
Far more than judgment true.
Edgar. A. Guest, in Detroit Free
Press.
His Criticism
"I have called to make what I feel'
is a just complaint," stated old P. G.
Pester, upon entering the sanctum of
the able editor of the Weekly Tidette
and Faithful Guardian of the Home
and Fireside. "While your answers
to correspondents column is filled
with interesting items and helpful
hints, I have not yet found therein
just the information I particularly
need.
"I have read with pleasure the for
mula for making White House white
wash, how to prevent a rubber plant
from stretching, the latest theory of
how to concoct invisible ink. I have
also observed from time to time data
on the ancient Druids, hints on kun
quat culture, advice on the raising
of hens, and direction for the care of
triplets and the taming of madstones.
While all this is doubtless valuable
to persons in certain predicaments, it
does not seem to apply to my case.
I need a remedy for mildew on a
son-in-law which gives him a dusty
appearance and causes him to lop
around as if blighted but has not as
yet actually killed him. Why, let
me tell you what's a fact: That fel
low painted his kitchen year before
last and the ladder he used has been
leaning up against it ever since!"
Judge.
meal is over, his real life begins.
Blended with the buzz of rusty ma
chinery, song and profanity, the re
maining eighteen hours aro whiled
away. When the farm becomes so
impoverished that it will raise noth
ing but chin whiskers, ho lets the
mortgage holder do his worst!
"Zim" in Cartoons Magazine.
Out of the Mouths of Babes
Mother "What do von mpnn hv
ordering mo around like that?"
Little Joe "Oh, I'm just prac
ticing so I'll How how when I get
married."
"What is meant by 'high explo
sives,' Tommies?" asked the teacher.
"I guess it must be another name
for skyrockets," replied the young
ster. Minister ''And what are you go
ing to Ue when you grow up, James?"
Small James "A philanthropist."
Minister "So you can do lots ot
good7"
Small James "Yes. and besides, a
philanthropist always has more
money than he needs."
Little Annie, aged 4, had become
weary of dwelling in a flat, and one
day she climbed up on her father's
knee and said: "Papa. I do wish vou
-would try and save enough money to
buy a Dacic yard."
Small, Eloise "Mamma, may I
send Fido to the dog show next
week?"
Mamma "No dear; I'm afraid he
isn't good enough."
Small Eloise "Not good enoueh!
Why, Fido never did anything wrong
In his life." Sacramento Bee.
Great Idea
A A Gay Life Is the Farmer's
Farm life is an ideal life, especial
ly in story l)ooks and upon the the
atre stage. The farmer is his own
boss and monarch of all the acres
that are not plastered with mort
gages. He arises with the little
birds, hits up the hard, cider in the
cellar, then hies himself hither to
toy with the cattle, for milking at 4
a. m. is one of the joys of farm life.
From the milking stool he wends his
way to the wood pile and gleefully
chops up a cord or two before the
breakfast ca.lL When the morning
A small boy, seated on the curb by
a telegraph pole, with a tin can by
his side, attracted the attention of
an old gentleman who happened to
bo passing.
"Going fishing?" he inquired, good
naturedly.
"No," the youngster replied; "take
a peep in there."
An investigation showed the can
to be nearly filled with caterpillars.
"What in the world are you going
to do with them?" asked the old
gent.
"They crawl up trees and eat the
leaves off, don't they?" asked the
boy.
"So I understand," replied the old
gent.
"Well," said the boy, "I'm fooling
a few of them."
"How?" asked the old gent.
"I'm going to send them up this
telegraph pole," answered the boy.'
Chicago Herald.
Ho Understood His Profession
The professor of jurisprudence in
a western university was lecturing to
a hundred embryo lawyers. He asked
whether everyone in America could
own property. One fellow answered,
"No, a criminal can't own property."
But the professor said, "Suppose a
man owns a ranch, gets into trouble
with his neighbor, assaults him, and
is put into the penitentiary, does he
still own the ranch?"
The class was unanimous that m
"If he did not continue to own it,"
went on the professor, "what would
become of it?" ! ,,
That was supposed to settle the
SOMETHING THE MATTER WITH THE OLD INCUBATOIt
From the St. Joseph News-Press.
question, but one boy called out,
"The lawyer would get it!"
There was a hearty laugh, of
course, and the professor add&l:
"We learn two things from that
apt remark be a lawyer, and don't
be a criminal." Youth's Companion.
Her Own Idea
A certain little girl was discovered
by her mother engaged in a spirited
encounter with a small friend, who
had got considerably worsted In the
engagement.
"Don't you know, dear," said the
mother, "that it is very wicked to be
havo so? It was Satan that put it
into your head to pull Elsio's hair."
"Well, perhaps it was," tlic child
admitted, "but kicking her shln3 was
entirely my own idea." Sacramento
Bee.
when I went home, I didn't find my
husband waiting at the top of the
stairs to upbraid me for neglect. The
heartless brute was in bed, sleeping
like a top, and actually smiling in
his sleep. New York Weekly.
They Havo Their Uses
Col. E. M. House, talking about
his peace mission in Europe, said:
"They who decry peace missions and
arbitration arguments remind me of
the second tramp.
"The first tramp, pointing to a
large building on a hill said:
" 'That there's the blind asylum
home.'
" 'Blind asylum hoirfe?' said the
second tramp scornfully. 'Humph.
What's all the winders fur then?' "
Washington Star.
Ono Fault of a Dog
"A pusson's dog, sah, is one thing
shawt o' beln' de best friend he'
got!" stated old Brother Hawhee,
vho was a great hand to philoso
phize. "In health ho 'joiccs wid yo'.
In sickness he suffers, too; when yo'
in jail he's waltin' right outside de
do' for yo', and when dey turns you'
loose ho greets yo' wid a yell o' wel
come. He's yo' guide and companion
and friend; but, dad blame him, yo.'
kain't borry a dollar off'm him, no
mattah if yo' dess nach'ly gotter have
it!" Kansas City Star.
Something Like Foundries u
"What air them kitchenettes I heafL
tell of in the cities?" masked Dcacoa
Medders, the somewhat honest agri
culturist. "They're the places, Uncle Uy.V
explained Upson Dowrifr, his city
,nepnew, "in which are, moulded or
(cast or somehow produced a flat
.dweller's daily round of mealettes.?
Judge.
Emancipation's Woes
First cfubwoman (a few years
hence) Men are enough to drive a
woman crazy.
Second Clubwoman Indeed, they
are.
First Clubwoman Only .think.
For five nights last week I remained
at the club terribly late, and yet
Family Government
Mr. Benedict My daughter is tht
initiative and my wife is the refer
endum. Mr. Singleton And where do yoiji
como in?
Mr. Benedict Oh, I'm the recall.
They recall my existence whenever
the bills come in.' Judge.
By the time many a fellow arrive
at a conclusion he is so tired he nev
er gets away from it. Ex.
a
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