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The Commoner
VOL. 15, NO. 5
30
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Whether Common or Not
Where tho Angela Smilo at You
Watohin' the white clouds sailin'
'round tho blue,
World Is like a picture where the
angels smilo at you;
Southwind a wavin' the blossoms
overhead,
While tho corn is just a-climbin' to
bring ray daily bread.
Qreen fields and bright fields
' Whore toilers soon'll reap,
And birds in the branches
To sing my soul to sleep.
O tho breath of blossoms Woods
where wlldflowers throng!
O that life were dreaming dreams a
whole life long!
Toiling and toiling in a world so
bright
Sometimes think that Paradise has
given all its light!
Hills, plains and valleys
Fair in heaven's sight,
On a bed of blossoms
Lost in dreams and light.
. Frank L. Stanton, in the Atlanta
Constitution.
Coming Down to Language "
At a dinner the other evening the
talk topic turned to a bunch of things
difficult to pronounce, whereat an ap
propriate anecdote was exploded by
Congressman Edwin Y. Webb of
North Carolina.
Down at the cigar store some time
ago, tho congressman said, the regu
lars were talking about the war and
remarking how it gave one something
worse than the faceache to pronounce
the Russian names. A man named
Benners, who was sitting near, large
ly smiled.
"Those Russian names are noth
ing," he remarked. "You just ought
to hear what I stack up against in
my own home every day of my life."
"What's that?? demanded one of
the regulars, with an amazed ex
pression. "Do you mean to say that
you havo somebody in your family
who can put a kink in the czar's syl
labic twists?"
"Well, I should say that I have!"
was the grinful rejoinder of Benners,
"You just ought to heajr the baby and
the parrot when they get talking to
gether." Philadelphia Telegraph.
Flippant Fancies
Hardships of war battleships.
Highballs have laid many a man
low.
You don't have to set a trap to
catch a cold.
Not all drummers beat drums
some beat hotels.
Many a financial upset is due to a
small tip.
The centipede with one foot in the
grave isn't very old.
Poets are born, not made and the
birth rate isn't high.
Some people try to raise the wind
by blowing about their prospects.
Boston Transcript.
Safety First
"I always burned my records after
a month's time," said Reid of Rock
Island to the interstate commerce
commission. Evidently the railroad
?fl
21
The Hicks Almanac for 1915
will bo sent postpaia, without additional cost to all who accept tho follow-,
lng special limited club offer: Send us only $1.10 at once, and wo will send
you Tho Commoner and Word and Worku, both for one full year each, and
ono copy of Rev. Irl It. Hicks' Almanao for 1915.
Never has tho great Hicks Almanac been moro valuable or more needed
by all classes than tho 1915 Almanac will be. For over a quarter of a
century The Hicks Almanao has predicted storms, tornadoes, bllzards, hot
waves, cold wayes with wonderful accuracy. Tho 1915 Hicks Almanac con
talns 160 pages with a covor printed In colors. It is illustrated with tho
usual number of halftone engravings, wood-cuts and other diagrams. Word
nnrt Works is a high-class homo monthly magazlno for all tho family. Con
tains Rev. Hicks famous monthly weather forecasts. Total regular prlco
of all three, $2.00; now for only 91.10. If now a subscriber to either publi
cation, your present expiration dato will bo extended for ono year. Send
your order today.
AddrcHH Order io THE COMMONER, filNCOIjTV, NEBRASKA
slogan of "Safety First" is by no
means confined to the operating de
partment or to train crews. Puck.
Revengo
"Don't you care for any postcards
today?" asked a postal clerk, as he
handed the man the stamp he had
requested.
"No, not today," said the man. .
"Or sbme stamped envelopes? We
have some new ones."
"No, thank you."
"Would you like a money order?"
"No."
"Or perhaps you would liko to
open a postal savings account?"
"I do not."
"Then let me advise you to rent
one of our letter boxes."
But the man had fled.
"Who was that fellow, and why did
you ask him all those questions?"
asked a fellow clerk.
"That," said the other clerk, "is
my barber. For years when he has
shaved me he has bothered me with
recommendations of massages, sham
poos, hair cuts and, hair tonics. I am
even with him!" New York Times.
Beliind the Bars
The Sunday was a wet one and she
was allowed to. accompany her par
ents to church. It was her first ex
perience of that kind.
The minister was of the energetic,
pulpit-thumping type, and he
preached from a rostrum railed in,
above the people. He excelled him
self this day in the thumping tactics
and had worked himself up to a pitch
of excitement.
Esther was cowering close to her
mother's side, and when he reached
a point which he emphasized .more
than all others, she exclaimed in a
frightened whisper:
- "Ma! what would we do if he got
out?" Pittsburgh Chronicle-Dispatch.
...
An Irate Neutral
"With which side do you sympath
ize in this war?"
"I don't believe," replied Mr. Grow
cher, "that I can define my attitude
as one of sympathy. My sentiment
is one of comprehensive indigna
tion." Washington Star.
Speeches of f
William Jennings
an
Brv
Revised and Arranged by
Himself
In Five Uniform Volumes, Thin 12mo Ornamental
Boards Dainty Style
FOLLOWING ARE THE TITLES:
THE PEOPLE'S LAW A Discussion of State Consti
tutions and what they should contain.
THE PRICE OF A SOUL
THE VALUE OF AN IDEAL
THE PRINCE OF PEACE
MAN ' ' '
Reprinted In this form Volume II of Mr. Bryan's Spoochcs. Each
of theso four. addresses has been delivered before many largo audiences.
These five volumes make a most attractive series.
Pnce of Each, 30 Cents, Net. Postage, 5 Cents
TWO 'OTHER NOTABLE SPEECHES!
THE SIGNS OF THE TIMES ; To which is added
"Faith." The most important address by Mr. Bryan since
his two volumes of "Selected Speeches" were compiled, with
one of the best of those added.-
One 16mo Volume, in Flexible Leather, with Gilt-Top. 5c net, Postage 5c
Address FUNK & WAGNALLS CO., Publisher, 354-300 Fourth Ave., N. Y.
Coming Debate at Atchison
At its next meeting the Lancaster
Literary society will debate this sub
ject: "Which policeman is entitled to
the most sympathy, the one in a min
ing camp or the one in a university
town?" Atchison Globe.
Italy as an Example
If those warring nations had de
liberated as long as Italy has there
wouldn't have been any war. Buf
falo Courier.
Pointed Paragraphs
Plumbers prefer the piping times
of peace.
An honest man is indeed a good
thing for his creditors.
After a woman has told a third of
the story men can guess the rest.
Somehow a man who doesn't know
right from wrong nearly always does
wrong.
The man who attempts to serve
two masters is liable to arrest for
bigamy.
After a man has been married two
weoKs he can understand why love
is blind.
If all the brides nro na iinnto..i
the reporters would have us believe
where do all the homely married
women come from?
Our idea of an optimist is a man
who hopes for the best, prepares for
? 7 ' a?d swallws the dose
ar ladne J ou to him with cheerful
grin. Chicago News.
Bryan Democracy'
uoat
By George Pitch, in Collier's
These are slow, dull times for the
frosted layer of Washington societ?
which helped official Washington Jn
joy ttself in the brave old roSuMIwn
The said days lasted sixteen year
during the last stretch of which a lot
of Washington people got vested in.
terest in the social joys of the gov
ernment. Things got sort of settled
socially after the republican party
became a national habit, and many of
our leading citizens moved to Wash
ington for the. purpose of sitting in
with the government, informally
over the dinner plates. And then'
just after many of these citizens had
invested large sums in new palaces,
precedent was outraged by the elec
tion of a democratic president.
It is difficult for the outside world '
to appreciate the fullness of this ca
lamity. It has been very poignant.
In the first place President Wilson
has omitted the social end of his ca
reer entirely. This would have been
cruel enough in itself, but he has, in
addition, loaded down the cabinet
and the other high places with a lot
of people no one has never heard of.
They are democrats that strange
breed which has been confined hith
erto in the two branches of congress
where one needn't fall over them so
cially. But now the whole place
swarms with them. They override
the constitution by giving receptions
and forgetting to invite neonle who
have called cabinet ministers by their
first names for sixteen years. Friends
of theirs from Texas and Nebraska
and other weird sections come to
Washington, having learned to drink
afternoon tea by correspondence
school, and have an enormous time
socially, while the real people who
knew Will arid Theodore and Elihu
and dear Chauncey Depew sit around
at home and wonder what the dick
ens is going to become of the gov
ernment. Even the diplomatic corps is very
little comfort nowadays. It didn't
change with the administration, but
since the war the ministers of the af
fected countries have remained al
most unanimously at home as the
best way of avoiding embarrassing
encounters. In fact, there is nothing
for the ex-friends to do socially now
adays but to meet round and deplore
Bryan.
This has been the great indoor pas
time of the Outs for the last two years.
Their zeal at it is unflagging. They
have developed the occupation into a
fine art. Other usurpers of awesome
places have come in for mild disap
proval, but only in a half-hearted,
dilettante way. They can not be saia
even to compete. The government
really ought to investigate the metn
ods by which Secretary Bryan lias
acquired his sweeping monopoly oi
condemnation for everything tiw
goes wrong, or differently in vvasii
ington. ALAS! WHAT TIMES ARE THESE
By long practice the ear or the eyo
or the finger tips can be trained w
PYtromA aftnalHvAnPHR likewise UW
feelings. A great many Washington
ians have practiced disapproving oi
Bryan until any little thing he may ou
causes them the most exquisite paiu.
If a member of the ancient Irreconcu
ables in the northwest quarter oil"
city feels at any moment an unciass
fled twinge or shudder, he or sue,
the case may frequently J, J
pause as likely as not. and elJ'
"Ouch! There! I know that man i
the state department has been flow
something! Doubtless ho "as throw
up a window. Now, when I knew
m?
uu