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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (April 1, 1915)
5Pirj7iT'''"?wi JJ53pw.,j". rfV 1' .U &' The Commoner VOL. 15, No, 4 mmws 30 n v y- . :, m - .,j ' - Ef i C '3- ir'. U A - it :. ir ft , .? ; it. . 4 v - a.yfl-. ; v-t i ' Whether Common or Not It Couldn't Bo Done Somebody said that It couldn't be done, But ho with a chuckle roplied That "maybo it couldn't," but he would bo one . . Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried. So ho buckled right in, with a trace of a grin On his face. If he worried ho hid it. He started to sing ao he tackled the thing That couldn't be done and he did it. Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that, At least, no one has over done it;" But he took off his coat, and he took off his hat, And the first thing we knew he'd begun it. With a lift of his chin, and a bit of a grin, Without any doubting or quiddit, Ho started to sing as no tackled the thing That couldn't bo done and he did it. There are thousands who'll tell you it can not be done, There are thousands who prophesy failure; . There are thousands to point out to you, one by one, The dangers that wait to assail you. But just buckle in with a bit of a grin, Then take off your coat and get to it. Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing That "can't be done" and you'll do it. d. By Edgar A. Guest, in the Independent. Buying a House I have bought me a house. Oh, the fool that I am! I have bought me a house, like an innocent lamb. Many years have I dreamed of a house of my own, many years I have schemed with one object alone. Now a dwell ing is mine, with a lawn and a tree; yet the sun doesn't shine, not a ray can I see, for my kind, loving friends .one by one come along, with a look that portends something"" awful Is wrong, and th I. eyes fill with tears and they waggle the head, and they chill mo with fears till my courage has fled. I am feeling quite gay in the house I possess. "You' are stung," they all say, "You're a sucker, no less. The foolish man buys him a house," is their claim, "while the wise, know ing guys, they inhabit the same. You are up to your eyes in a quagmire of debt, and the tax rate will rise fifty notches, you bet, and your house will run down for the want of repair, and will land on the town with your bur den of care. You will never know rest, never more will you sing, you'll bo ground and oppressed by the keep of the thing. You will have it to paint, you must paper it, too; you may live, and you mayn't very few ever do; you will have it to shingle to keep out the breeze, you'll have nothing to jingle excepting the keys. Pretty neighborhoods change, as "a season may prove, and it wouldn't be strange if you wanted to move, but you can't sell a house no one ever could get and it, goes to the bows when you put it to let; and the bank ers are hard when a man's in their power, and a man has to guard lest the lawyers devour; and the building and loans, they are risky and dear oh! the fellow that owns leads a hunted career!" I havo bought me a house. I had dreamed since a boy of the fun of that house, of its comfort" and joy; but my friends came along with their stories of woe, and I know I'm in wrong. I am ruined, I know. New ark News. was very angry. The youngster in sisted, however that ho had obeyed her orders and had not lingered un necessarily on the way. "Do you expect me to believe," said his mother, "that it took you two hours to walk a quarter of a mile?" She reached for the whip. "Now, sir, will you tell me the truth?" "Ye-es, mamma," sobbed the boy, "Charlie Wilson gave me a mud tur tle and I was afraid to carry it so I led it home."Boston Transcript. r4 wtsi1 -! t -... X . . ui. mum uiajjiuu among us. To ro tie a bet, will you please state in 7 morrow's issue what the turkey iiiS of V "Sacramento Bee. led Why the Safety-Razor Industry Has Grown "Shave?" "Yes." "Haircut?" "No." "Tonic??' "No." i Too Long a Time Sir William Osier, the famous Eng lish doctor, who has just gone to the front with the McGill university base hospital, has been making a strong appeal to soldiers to allow them selves to be inoculated against ty phoid fever. It will be remembered that some time ago Sir William caused a great deal of talk by sug gesting that the average man was too old at 40. Sir William tells the following amusing story to prove the import ance of medical men being very ex plicit in thci; directions to their pa tients. A young foreigner who consulted a doctor about his health was advised by the medico "to drink hot water an hour before breakfast every morn ing." The patient went a,way promising to do as he was told, but a few days later he returned and complained that he felt much worse. "That's curious!" said the doctor, "did you do as I told you and drink that water an hour before breakfast every morning?" "I did my best, sir," was the re ply; "but I couldn't keep it up for more than ten minutes at a time!" Pearson's. Singe?" , y;: . "No." .v.,. "Manicure?". ;. "No!" .. ;. "Shine?" "No! !" . "Nice day." "Yes." Boston Globe. Ono Business Helped by Saloons "If any man here," shouted the temperance speaker, "can name an honest business that has been helped by the saloon I will spend the rest of my life working for the liquor peo ple." A man in the audience arose. "I consider my business an honest one," he said, "and it has been helped by the saloon." "What is your business?" yelled the orator. "I, sir," responded the man, "am an undertaker." Kansas City Star. The Irishman's Ducks An Irishman was out gunning for ducks with a friend who noticed that although Mike aimed his gun several times, he did not shoot it off. At last ho said: "Mike, why didn't you shoot that time? The whole flock were right in front of you." "OX know," said Mike, "but every time Oi aimed me gun at a duck, an other wan come right between us." Philadelphia Ledger, y Necessarily Slow A California youngster had been permitted to visit a boy friend on the strict condition that he was to leave there at 5 o'clock. He did not arrive home till 7 o'clock and his mother "Uncle Joe's" Story "Uncle Joe" Cannon was asked what he thought of the outlook of the republican party in 1916, and he answered with a story. "A black man was arrested for horse stealing while I was prosecut ing attorney in Vermillion county," he said, "and was placed on trial af ter being duly indicted. When his day in court came he was taken be for the judge and I solemnly read the charge in the indictment to him. " 'Are you guilty or not?' I asked. "The black man rolled uneasily in his chair. 'Well, boss,' he finally said, 'aint dat the very thing we're about to try?' "New York Herald. Speeches of f William Jennings ran .Bry; Revised and Arranged by Himself In Five Uniform Volumes, Thin 12mo Ornamental Boards Dainty Style FOLLOWING ARE TIIE TITLES t THE PEOPLE'S LAWA Discussion of State Consti tutions and what they should contain. THE PRICE OF A SOUL ' . ; THE VALUE OP AN IDEAL THE PRINCE OF PEACE MAN Roprintod In this form Volume II of Mr, Bryan's Speeches.. Each of theso four addresses has been delivered before many large audiences. These five volumes make a most attractive series. Price of Each, 80 Cents, Net Postage, 5 Cents TWO OTIXER NOTABLE SPEECHES t THE SIGNS OF THE TIMES; To which is added "Faith." The most important address by Mr. Bryan since his two volumes of "Selected Speeches" were compiled, with one of the best'of those added. One 16mo Volume, In Flexible Leather, with Gilt-Top, 75c net. Postage 5c AddresUNKtWApNAXiS CO., JPnfrllalicra, 354-380 Fpurk Ave., N. Tf. . (., iVJi Quaker Meditations One of the greatest accomplish ments a man can have is the ability to mind his own business. A man should always try to please his wife, even if he has to make a fool of himself to do it. We sigh for the coffee mother used to make, forgetting that father used to do the same thing. The half of the world that doesn't know how the other half lives is gen erally the better half. You don't have to wait till they have nothing to do to find out how worthless some fellows are. It's waste of time to stand up for the fellow who won't stand up for himself. Philadelphia Bulletin. Trial by Jury "Gentlemen of the jury, are you agreed upon your verdict?" asked the judge, presiding over a Texan court. "We are," responded the foreman. "Do you find the prisoner guilty or not guilty?" "We do." "You do? Do what?" exclaimed the startled judge. "We find the prisoner guilty or not guilty," answered the foreman. "But, gentlmqn, you can not re turn a verdict like that." "Wal, I don't know," the foreman responded. "You see, six of us find him guilty, and six of us find him not guilty and we've agreed to let it go at that." Uplift Magazine. Troubles of an Editor Henry Watterson told this story at a recent dinner party: "One day when I was the city edi tor of a small newspaper, a fine turkey was left at the offlnR. w nil hankered after the bird, the editor finally claimed it, took it home, and had it cooked for dinner. The next day a letter was handed to him, which he opened and read: " Mr. Editor: I sent you a turkey yesterday which had been the cause WOMEN AS POLICYHOLDERS On March 1, 1916, THE MIDWEST LIFE had 4263 policies in force car rying $6;683,715 of insurance. Of the total number insured 430 wero women and the amount of their in surance was $525,000. This propor tion shows that ona policyholder out of every ten is a woman, but that the average policy of the women is not as large as the ' average policy carried by the men. THE MIDWEST LIFE insures wo men at the same rates as men. The death rate has been slightly higher, but on the whole the experience or the company with women as insror has been itfuite satisfactory. Many companies discriminate against w men as risks, charging them a larg premium, and a few do not insu them at all. This company will d pleased to quote rates for women o any of the standard forms of police . Call or write ThbMxdwestXfe of LINCOLN. NEBRASKA A STOCK COMfAHY SBJJijSji GUARANTEED COST LIFE IH$U"V TJ 'Nil i.'Bii "5$ i: i it a