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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 1, 1915)
iTrr-,rhim'fgJIP0S WS- The Commoner 30 VOL. 15, NO. 1 !W nm im, !. '. ? ." K? ", v ' GENERAL and GENUINE PROSPERITY la predicted for this country for 1015 of which ovory man and woman should enjoy a share. PHOSPI3IUTY MI3ANS DOLIiAHH 4 and dollars to the careful person Increased Havings. SUCH SAVINGS can best bo conserved and multi plied by depositing the same In a SAVINGS ACCOUNT or on TISIIJ DEPOSIT drawing four per cent per annum compounded semi-annually. In addition, funds deposited with us aro GUARANTEED AGAINST LOSS by.'tho'-Depoftitocs'Giiarnnty-LaW'H of tho State of Oklahoma.- FREE BOOKLET on Banking by Mall and copy of law. on application. Bocomo a depositor with us. Depositors In ovor thirty states testify to prompt and efllclont service. GUARANTY STATE BANK MUSKOGEE OKLAHOMA M. G. HASKELL, President. J Attractive Clubbing Offers Whether Common or Not The Old Men Tho old mon beat the youngsters, And they are some surprise; The old men with the laughter Of the young dreams In their eyes. Tho old mon sing tho gladdest, Tho old men dance the maddest, Tho old men won't bo laid aside, Bocauso they're swimming with tho tide, As young as all the youngsters! Tho old mon win my heart each time, And how I lovo to praise them; They season songs of life with rhyme, And troubles never fease them. Tho old men trust the longest, The old men dream the strongest, The old, men live in dreams, in deed, But, ah, what tender cause and need, Andit's hatSAoffr f ronr.tlre youngsters The old men love the sweetest And they can tell it best; Tho old men with undying dreams That lead to lovely rest. Tho old men whistle sweetest, The old men waltz the neatest, Tho old mon headed for the stars, With heart's love to their avatars, The blithe, brave, smiling young youngsters! Baltimore Sun. been having some fun the last few days. Thursday we autoed to the Country club, golfed until dark, then strolled back to town and danced until mornfng." The country cousin was not to be stumped in the least, so he began telling some of the pleas ures of tho simple life: "We have had pretty good times here, too. One day wo buggled out to Uncle i Ned's and went out to the back lot, whore we baseballed all afternoon; in the evening we sneaked up into the attic and pokered until morn ing." A sturdy old farmer who was listening, not to be outdone, took up the conversation at this point, and said: "I was having some fun about this time myself. I muled to the cornfield and gehawed until sun down. Then I suppered until dark and piped until 9 o'clock, after which I , bedsteaded, untiLit was timetogo muling:. again." Gass County. (Mo.), Leader. to let his honks ionv i, . Some weeks later the same netehw sent over to ask for the loan or Mark Twain's lawn mover "Certainly," said Mark, "but since I make it a rule never to let it leavo my lawn you will be obliged to uZ it there. "--"Stories and Toasts," by N. C. Fowler, Jr. ' M J ? Hi $1.00 fl,S5 1.50 2.00 American Boy ; . . . American Magazine American Poultry Journal.. 1.00 Breeder s Gazetto . . . 1.00 Cincinnati Dally Post, R. R. Edition , 2.50 Commercial Appeal GO Courier-Journal, Wookly . . . 1.00 Btudo (For Muslo Lovers).. 1.50 Enquirer, Cincinnati, Ohio, Wookly . l.oo Field & Stream 1.50 Fruit Grower & Farmer..,. 1.00 Hoard's Dairyman 1,00 Homo & Stato, Dallas, Tox. 1.00 Housowlfp 15 Independent, N. Y 3.00 Irrigation Ago ; . 1,00 Kansas City Weekly Star... .25 La Follotto's Magazlno 1.00 Llppincott's Magazlno' ....... 3.00 Literary Digest (now) ..... 3.00 McCall's Magazlno 50 1.55 1.75 2.00 1.15 1.40 2.00 1.25 1.00 1.25 1.00 1.40 1.15 U.25 1.40 1.00 1.25 3.00 3.30 1.20 1.00 1.00 1.25 2.05 3.40 1.80 1.75 3.40 3.00 1.40 1.75 No Songs Liko Old Songs The author of "Only a Pansy Blossom" is dead. He was an Iowa man named Frank Howard 'and his J pathetic ditty netted him a fortune. "Only a Pansy Blossom" was be ing played and sung to the extent of almost being a nuisance some twenty flvo years ago. Mr. Howard also wrote "When . the Robins Nest Again," another big song success that was whistled and sung and warbled into a threadbare extent and contrib uted comfortably to Mr. Howard's worldly means. They have quit writing songs with the punch of "Only a Pansy Blossom." The rag time stuff about "a big black coon who liked to spoon with that yellow gal in the light of the moon" has supplanted the pansy blossom va riety. While it generally is contend ed that tho world is growing better, there are some departments in the scheme of the universe that have not been improved.-i-Burlington Gazette. Fixing tho Blamo A teacher, instructing her class in the composition of sentences, wrote two on the blackboard, one a mis statement of fact and the othei wrong grammatically The sentences were: "The hen has three legs," and "Who done it?" "Harry," she said to one of the youngsters, "go to the blackboard and show where the fault lies in those two sentences." Harry slowly approached the board, evidently studying hard. Then he toolc' tho crayon and wrote: "The hen never done it. God done it." Milwaukee Journal. located "What," inquire.3 Luke McLuke "has become of the old-fashioned pink sea shell that used to repose on the old-fashioned whatnot?" . The last time we saw it, Luke, it was still reposing on the old-fashioned what not in tho southeast corner of the cellar. Springfield (Mass.) Union And Ho Did! Father (left in charge) "No, you can not have any more cake. (Very seriously.) Do you know what I shall have to do if you go on making that dreadful noise?" Little Boy (sobbing) "Yes." Father "Well, what is it?" Little- Boy "Give' me some more cakerf' -T.heCantiiient; Tho First Time He Saw The senator and the major were walking up the avenue. The senator was more than middle-aged and con siderably more than fat, and, dearly as the major loved him, he also loved his joke. The senator turned with a pleased expression on his bening countenance and said: "Major, did, you see that pretty girl smile at me?" "Oh, that's nothing," replied his friend. "The first time I saw you I laughed out loud." Philadelphia Public Ledger. JfANTED TO HEAR of good farm or " unimproved land for sale. Send description and price. Northwestern .Business Agency, Minneapolis, Aiinn. McCluro's Magazine . 1.50 Modern Prlscllla 1.00 National Monthly 1.00 Outdoor World 2.50 Outlook 3.00 Pearson's Magazlno , 1.50 Pictorial Rovlew 1.00 Pittsburgh Post, Dally ; ... 5.00 Review of Rovlows . 3.00 Rocky Mountain News, Wkly 1.00 Springfield Republican, Wkly 1.00 St. Louis Republic, twlco-a- wook 50 1.25 Woman's Homo Companion 1.50 sfjoo Word and Works and Hick's Almanac , ." 1.00 1.25 Youth's Companion , . 2.00 2.80 Tho Ladles Homo Journal or 'Satur day Evening Post may bo added to any club at an additional cost of $1.50 each Extra postago required upon all papers going to Canada or foreign countries and also for subscription in a city whoro tho respective periodicals aro published unless they aro wcolclies. Address all orders and mako all re .mlttances payablo to Th6 Commoner Kilhculn, Neb. ' Tho Lord Needs Help A certain preacher, in one of the southern states, was preaching away one Sunday night, when a fire alarm broke the attentive stillness of the sanctuary. "Sit still!" he cried to his disturb ed congregation. "If there is a fire the Lord will take care of his own and not let anything happen that shouldn't." Just then two children, who had stepped outside, shrieked: "Oh, it's the parsonage! It's the parsonage!" Without a word of farewell that preacher made a wild bound from the pulpit and struck out for his burning residence. "They is times, it seems," said a lean member of the congregation, "when tli Lord needs ho'p." Na tional Monthly. This Helped "I was speaking with your father last night," he said at last, somewhat inanely. "Oh, you were?" answered the sweet young thing, lowering her eyes. "Er wliat were you er talking about?" "About the war in Europe. Your father said that he hoped the fighting would soon be over." The sweet young thing smiled. "Yes," she reknarked, "I know he's very much opposed to long engage ments'Cleveland Leader! Had All Boon Going Some A city mart recently visited Tiis "country cousin." The man from the city, wishing to explain tho motronol- utan life, said: "We have certainly No Cause for-Tears "We have never had a president named Charlie," remarks the Toledo Blade. Nor to the best of our knowl edge have we ever had one who was called Reggie or Algernon, but we can't see that the fact is calculated to move any one to salty tears--Philadelphia Inquirer. ars. Mark Twain's Retort Mark Twain once asked a neighbor if he might borrow a set of his bQOks The neighbor replied ungraciously that he was welcome to real them to his library, but he had a rule neve? When Bad is AH Right .. He may wear a greasy hat and the seat of his pants may be shiny, but if adman's children have their noses Subscribers' Hdwrtishift Dcpt. This department is for tho benefit of Commoner subscribers, and a special rate of six cents a word per insertion the lowest rate has been made for them. Address all communications to The Commoner, Lincoln, Nebraska. PCZEMA SPECIFIC Will absolutely - cure eczema, salt rheum, barbers Itch and other skin diseases. Sent by mail. $1.50. Send for recommendations. Almklov's Pharmacy, Cooperstown, North Dakota. POR SALE Three improved irrigated 1 farms in Arkansas, South Platte, and Poudro Valley, Colorado; good im provements, water rights all paid. Easy terms, as owner is non-resident. Ad dress Box 161, Independence, la. DROTHER Accidentally discovered lJ root cures tobacco habit and Indi gestion. Gladly scint particulars. J. W. Stokes, Mohawk, Fla. TVANTED To hear from owner of good farm or unimproved land for sale. C. C. Buckingham, Houston, Tex. OtoE 1720 Colorado Boulevard Benvor, Colo. We Want Representatives Everywhere to work for us, buying and selling Real estate, Mortgages, Bonds, Stocks, etc. Wo pay part salary and part commis sion. Good hustlers may earn- from $3,000 to ?10,000 per year or moreno previous experience necessary. Wo equip and start you out. International Realty Corporation, 3351 Otis Bids., 10 S. JLa Salle St., Chicago. Paint Without Oil Remarkable Discovery That Cuts Doiva Cost ot Paint Sevcnty FIvo Per Cent, A Free Trial , Package Is Mailed to Everyone Who Writes .A. L. Rice, a prominent manufacturer of Adams, "N. T has discovered a pro cess of making a new kind of paint without the use of oil. He calls it PoW drpalnt. It comes in tho form of a oxy powder and all that is required iBCOia water to mako a paint weather prow, flro proof and a durable as oil pain. It adheres to any surface, wood, si am or brick", sprees ana looks like paint and costs about one-fourtn much. , , fa 5 Write to Mr. A. L. Rice; Manuf r, ,i North St., Adams, N.Y., and ho will scnu uyou a froo trial pacicage, 'vVou Pcrifd and full information showing o how you can save a gopa many " "Write today. ?