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The Commoner
NOVEMBER, 1914
31
8&h dfit ought-uh made dem small
words she used curl up like green
leaves when do frost hit 'em! but
did she un'orstan muh specifications?
"She couldn't-uh, uh-kaze she does
up wid & long-han'led skillet and
popped me on the head with such
ferocity dat muh skull perpetrated
right the 'oo bottom 'o dat pieco o'
furniture, and she held onto the
han'le and drug me all over de place
twell I hatter own up that she was ir
de right to save muh life. B'lieve to
inuh soul do lady would-uh pulled
mah head plum off if I hadn't give in!
Stands to reason, sah, dat she didn't
un-er stan' muh language, uh-kaze
when a man uses big words what
kinduh answer am a skillet?" Kan
sas City Star.
School Answers
A teacher in one of our public
schools gives a couple of examples
which indicate the necessity for her
being on the job.
"What -is the equator?" she asked
of little Peter Ford, whose knowledge
of physical, geography was well
known throughout the school.
"The -equator Js a menagerie lion
running around the earth," answered
the lad, thereby establishing forever
his claim to fame.
"What boy will give me an ex
ample of an imperative sentence?"
inquired the teacher. ; ' '
"I Will," spolce up Matty New.
"John,- throw1 ther horse over the
fence some hay." Boston Advertised-
-"1 '
Went Away Discomfited
Miss :Margarefc .Foley, recently in
Chelsea had occasion to" remark " in
her speech'-that 'suffragists were per-
Attractive
Clubbing Offers
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1.75
fectly willing to grant that woman's
place was in the home.
"Why aren't you there, thon?"
called a youth from the edge of the
crowd.
"Why aren't you?" retorted Miss
Foley.
"Because I'm not a married man,"
answered the youth.
"And I'm not a married woman,"
said Miss Foley.
The crowd roared, and the ques
tioner retired discomfited. Boston
Post.
Pointed Paragraphs
A man's repentance Is always sin
cere at tho time.
Gain a woman's sympathy and tho
battlo is half won.
Ohe sure way to save money is not
to own a flock of automobiles.
Wo know a spinster who thinks a
husband is better late than never.
An epicure says that a lot of di
vorces come out of the frying pan.
The henpecked husband should re
joico that he Isn't a Mormon.
A man must either make way for
himself or get out of the way of
others.
This is a free country, but you
should he ashamed to say some of the
things you think. Chicago News.'
GIVES ADVICE TO TBAOIIKRS
"If you are partial to tho girl who
comes to your school with moro ele
gant dresses on, if you show moro
interest and attention to tho daugh
ter of tho banker, tho rich farmor or
tho society leader, you had bettor got
out of school work," advised Prof.
C. H. Freeman, of Ohio Northern
University, in an address in the city
of Toledo to tho teachers.
"Tho function of our public school
is to help tho poorer children. They
need tho education far worso than
tho bettor favored children,"' contin
ued tho speaker. American Federa
tion of Labor News Letter.
Tips From Texas
Another important consideration
in graduating from a saloon is that
you can't conceal your diploma.
If a fair lady wore mercenary faint
heart would have a better average
than faint purse.
Ours Is not a military nation, but
there appears to bo a lot of strate
gists around here who got their train
ing somehow.
Also tho cost of living was lower
in the good. old,times when the prom
ise of a banana on Saturday would
keep a boy gpod all tho week. Dal-.
las News.
BOOKS RECEIVED
n t
Blind Eyes. By Margaret . Peter
son, author of "The Lure of the Little
Drum." Brown & Howell Company,
publisher?. 608 So. Dearborn St.,
Chicago, 111. Price $1.30, not.
Men Who Dared. Stories of brave
men who faced death and duty. By
2no Byron E. Veatch. Browne & Howell
lib Company, publishers, 608 So. Dear-
1-40 horn St., Chicago, 111. Price, $1.25.
net.
Nivjffc Christmas. Bv Brvon E.
'?Ji Veatch, author of "Men Who Dared,"
iUV
2.00
1.25
American. Bov-.
American Magazine . ..,,..,. 1.50
American Poultry Journal.. 1.00
Breeder's Gazette 1.00
Cincinnati Daily Po&t, R..R.
Edition . ; 2.50
Commercial Appeal ' .50
Courier-Journal, Weekly ..,. 1.00
Etude (For Music Lovers) . . 1.50
Enquirer, Cincinnati, Ohio,
Weekly .- 1.00
Field & Stream 1.50
Frillt ftrnwnn Jft. 1?nrman 1 (U
Hoard's Dairvman . !!'' i!nn -iTtn "The Two Samurai." etc. Browne &
hSu10 If State' D-allas' Tex 1'00 1,42 ! Howell Company, Chicago, 111. Price
fimepenaent, ss. x .-. . . 3.UU s.lt
irrigation Ago . . .. ... 1.00
Kansas City Weekly Star... .25
La Folletto's Magazine 1.00
Llpplncott's Magazine 3.00
Literary Digest (new) ..... 3.00
McCall's Magazino 50
McCluro's Magazino 1.50
Modern Priscllla 1,00
National Monthly 1.00
Outdoor World 2.50
Outlook 3.00
Pearson's Magazino 1.50
Pictorial Review 1.00
Pittsburgh Post, Dally 5.0
Poultry Success 50-
Practical Farmer 1.00
Reliable Poultry Journal ... .SO
Review of Reviews 3,00
Rocky Mountain News, Wkly 1.00
Springfield Republican, Wkly 1.00
St. Louis Republic, twlce-a-
week 50
Technical World 1.50
The Sphere 1.75
Wallace's Farmer 1.00
Woman's Home Companion 1.50
Word and Works and Hick's
Almanao 1.00
New York World, Thrico-a-
week . .'. . 1.00
Youth's Companion 2.00
1.20
1.00
1.(10
1.25
2.GJ?
8.40
1.80
1.75
3.40
1.15
1.BO
1.15
3.00
1.40
1.75
1.25
1.00
1.15
IrtO
2.00
1.25
1.25
2.80
Tho Ladies Homo Journal or Satur
day Evening Post may be added to any
club at an additional cost of $1.50 each.
Extra postage required upon all
papers going to Canada or foreign
countries and also for subscription in
a city where the respective periodicals
are published unless they are weeklies.
Address all orders and make all re
mittances payable to The . Commoner,
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75 cents.
1.40) Germany and England. By J. A.
J ? Cramh, M. A., late professor of mod
3!oo em history, Queen's College, London.
8 so, with a nreface to the American edi
tion by Moreby Acklom. E. P. Dut
ton & Co., publishers, New York.
Prico $1.00, net.
I Had a1 Friend. By Orison Swett
Marden, author of "Pushing to the
Front," "Peace, Power and Plenty,"
etc. Thomas Y. Crowell Company,
publishers, New York. Price 50 cents.
Postage 5 cents.
Hints for Young Writers. By Ori
son Swett Marden. Thomas Y. Crow
ell Company, New York. "Price 75
cents, postage 8 cents.
One American's Opinion of the
European War. An Answer to Ger
many's Appeals. By Frederick W.
Whitridge. E. P. Dutton & Company,
publishers, New York. Price 50 cents,
net
The Tariff; What it is; How it
Works; Whom it Benefits; Protec
tion: Revenue; Free Trade. By Lee
Francis Lybarger, member of the
Philadelphia bar; Ivceum ana cnau
tnuqua lecturer. Published by The
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ADDRESS THE COMMONER, LINCOLN, NEB.
I
The Months to Come
Will they bring peace?
Will they bring prospects of a permanent settlement of tho problems,
tho prejudices, the misunderstandings that have threatened to throw
our boasted civilization back into tho middle ages?
So far as prediction Is possible, you will find tho answer In Harper's
Weekly.
You will And in Harper's Weekly vivid, yet accurate reporting well
Illustrated of tho most striking scenes of tho war-drama.
You will And tho most careful, comprehensive analysis of causes and
estimate of effects that can be made by leaders of thought in this coun
try and abroad.
For its handling of war news its statement of causes Its prediction
of effects, on civilization, on America, on YOU.
YOU WANT HARPER'S WEEKLY
a publication which occupies just as Important a place in its relation to
tho present European war as it did during the great Civil War of '61VG5.
For tho special benefit of Commoner readers who may wish to secure this
great weekly during tho progress of this war, wo havo secured an extra
Iv rate In combination with a year's new, renewal, or paid-in-advance
subscription to Tho Commoner.
OUIt OFFEnSend us only 1Z0, and you will receive narper' Weekly
for Six MoHtkM and The Commoner for One Full Year. This offer represents
a big saving over the regular price of both publications. To get this offer,
send in your subscription, renew your present subscription, or advance
your present date of expiration one year. Send money order or draft for
2.50 and
ADDRESS THE COMMONER, LINCOLN, NEB.
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