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'The Commoner
' SEJiPTBMBBB, 19i4
31
J sold anything by falso representa
tion and I will not begin now."
For a moment he was silent and
the clerk who stood before him could
see that the better nature of his em
ployer was fighting strongly for the
right.
"No," said the old man again. "I
will not do it. It is an inferior grade
of shoe and I will never pass it off
as anything better. Mark it 'A shoe
fit for a queen' and put it in the win
dow. A queen doesn't have to do
much walking.'.' Montreal Daily
Star.
Out of tho' "Mouths of Babes
The Parson Do you have family
prayers at your home every morn
ing, Tommy?
Tommy No sir; only at night. We
ain't afraid in the daytime.
"Mamma," Baid little Laura, "my
dollie is awfully stuck up."
"Why do you think so, dear?"
asked her mother.
''Cause she won't bend her knees,
and' I have to lay her on her stomach
to say her prayers," was the reply.
Little Dorothy (aged three) Turn
on, gwanma; supper is weddy.
Grandma Why, dear, this isn't
supper, it's breakfast.
Little Dorothy 'Es torse sat's it,
but I tobdn'i, say it.
Sacramento Bee.
Logical
Enthusiastic Professor of Physics
(discussing the organic and inorganic
kingdoms) "Now, if I should shut
my eyes so and drop my head so
Attractive
Clubbing Offers
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(23
American Boy $1.00 $l.rn
American Magazine- 1.50 1.00
American Poultry Journal.. 1.00 1.55
Breeder's Gazctto 1.00 1.75
Cincinnati Daily Post, R. R.
, Edition 2.50 U.00
Commercial Appeal 50 1.15
Courier-Journal, Weekly . . . 1.00 1.40
Btudo (For Music Lovers) . . 1.50 U.00
. Enquirer, Cincinnati, Ohio,
Weekly 1.00 1.25
Field & Stream 1.50 1.00
Fruit Grower & Farmer.... 1.00 1.25
Hoard's Dairyman 1.00 1.55
Homo & State, Dallas, Tex. 1.00 1.40
Housewife 50 1.15
. Independent, N. Y 3.00 a.00
, Irrigation Ago .'...... 3.00 1.40
I Kansas City, Weekly Star... .25- 1.00
La Folletto's Magazine 1.00 1.25
Lippincott's Magazine 3.00 3.00
Literary Digest (newj .,... 3.00. 3.30
' McCall's Magazine 50 1.20
McClure's Magazine 1.50 l.o
j Modern Priscilla 1.00 l.GO
National Monthly , 1.00 1.25
Outdoor World 2.50 2.05
.Outlook 3.00 3.40
' Pearson's Magazine 1.50 1.80
Pictorial Review ." 1.00 1.75
Pittsburgh, Post, Daily 5.00 3.40
Poultry Success 50 l.rs
Practical Farmer ,. . 1.00 1.50
' Pulitzer's Magazine .......... l.oa 1.25
Reliable Poultry Journal... .50 1.15
Review of Reviews......... 3.00 3.00
Rock Mountain News, Wkly. 1.00 1.40
Springlleld Republican,
Weekly , 1.00 1.75
St. Louis Republic,
Twice-a-Week 50 1.25
Sunset Magazine, San Fran
cisco, Cal 2.50 2.50
Technical World 1.50 1.00
The Sphero 1.75 1.15
Wallaco's Farmer 1.00 1.00
Woman's Home Companion 1.50 2.00
Word and Works and Hick's'
Almanac ......... . . . . ... . 1.00 1.25
New York World, Thrice-
a-Weck 1.00 1.25
Youth's Companion 2.00 2.50
Address all orders and make alj re
mittances payablo to Tfce Commoner,
The Ladles' Home Journal or Satur-
dav Evening Post may bo added to any
club at an additional cost of $1.50 each.
Extra postage required upon all
papers going 'to Canadi or foreign
countries and also for subscription in
a city where the respective periodicals
are published unless they are weeklies.
Lincoln, Neb.
and should not move, you would
8ay I was a clod. But I move, I leap.
I run; then what do you call me?"
Voice From the Rear "A clod
hopper! " Tit-Bits.
A Moment With the Wits
'
Gabe He ss.ys he is a descendant
of a groat family.-
Steve Yes, and he is still descend
ing. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Patience Why, they say that man
can't spend his income.
Patrice Will, he ought to get
married. Yonkers Statesman.
Netty HaVe you thrown Bob over?
Hetty Yes, ho Was such a poor
letter writer, I was ashamed to show
his love letters to the girls. Stan
ford Chapparal.
"I told Uncle Simon that he was
getting too old -and feeble to attend
to business."
"Did he take it kindly?"
"He threw me out of the office."
Boston Post.
Gibbs I noticed you rise in the
car this morning and give your seat
to a stout lady.
Dibbs Yes, it was a question
whether she or I was going to stand
on my feet. Philadelphia Ledger.
"Leonidas, I believe there is a bur
glar in the house."
"Suppose you make one of your
speeches, Henrietta," suggested Mr.
Meekton. "It'll either scare him or
put him to sleep." Washington Star.
Young woman (to her neighbor at
dinner) Guess whom I met today,
doctor.
Doctor I'm afraid I'm not a good
guesser.
"You're too modest. Aren't you at
the top of your profession?" Life.
Deceived
Little Willie was left alone with
sister's beau.
'"Mr. Chumpley," he presently
said, "what is a popinjay?"
Sister's beau wrinkled his fore
head. "Wh-why, a popinjay is a-a vain
bird."
"As you a .bird, Mr. Chumpley?"
"Certainly not."
"That's funny, ma said you was a
popinjay, and pa said there was no
doubt about you're being a jay, an'
sister said there was small hopes of
your poppin', and now you say you
ain't a bird at all. That's funny."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Tips Prom Texas
As a general thing, when a girl's
face is her fortune she didn't inherit
it from her father.
When a man has a wife and four
daughters he begins retreating as
soon as they commence mobilizing.
The climax of hard luck is for a
man to marry a laundress and then
have to Bend his- washing' out
Dallas News.
Pointed ParagraphRt
Too many lazy men posers mar-
tvrs.
A lot of opportunties pome at inop
portune times.
Fancy prices please the seller more
than the buyer.
Also the dental student takes les
sons in the art of drawing.
A Fee Simplo
Wife Everything you have you
owe to me.
Husband That s what Dr. Jones
says.
Wife Who's Dr. Jones?
Husband The stomach and nerve
specialist. Brooklyn Eagle.
14
UKATl
Press The Button
It Fills Itself
Simply Perfect Perfectly Simple
Get This $2.50 Solid Gold Self Filling Pen
With Your Subscription to The Commoner
It is as easy to fill this pen as to dip the ordinary pen.
Fills with a single pressure of ihc fingers. Never soils
the hands no dropper to use no waste of lime. Al
ways ready. The pen is guaranteed 14-K gold tipped
with iridium (tho hardest substance known). It
writes with a vclvct-liko smoothness and never
leaks. This pen sells for $3.00 in every high
class jewelry and fountain pen stprc. It will
8avo you hours of time and trouble. We tested
all kinds of pens and this stood the test. "Wc
give you our personal guarantee that it is a splen
did article and we would not do that if we did not
know. - Wc guarantee IT TO YOU PERSONALLY.
HOW TO GET THE PEN
Self Filling Pen $2.60 Send Only
The Commoner 1 year 1.00 J k x
The Homestead 1 year 25 f U 1 J W
This offer open to both old and new subscribers. Each
pen will be carefully packed and mailed direct from
factory by insured parcel post. Send your order at once.
ADDRESS THE COMMONER, LINCOLN, NEB
To Fill
Press
Iltrt
This Camera Takes and Finishes
Pictures in 1 Minute
s & yZ2
00 0 ijji W
V. OS a V IHgnnOMMi
JySJMirilV- .JMiMetim
without plntcH or films. No printing or
dork room needed. No experlenco re
quired. .An absolutely new method that
makes photography a pleasure Instead
or work. A method that haH mado
picture-taking ho simple and easy
that every man or woman, boy or
girl can make first-class pictures
almost Instantly.
The "Handel-EKe"
Camera
m
Is tho new photo-camera- In
vention, taking and making
cornpicto flnlMlicd Bhote-
graphx direct or payer vont
cardr. It Is a strictly
hlgh-grado photographic
instrument which em
bodies a camera, de
veloping chamber and
dark room all In one
In. fact, it Is a miniature
photo gallery. It , is
radically different from
all other cameras be
cause It requires no plates, films, printing, dark room, ruby lights, varieties
of solutions, etc., but finishes up tne picturo ngm wunin m umru. ue i.
It reduces tho cost of making photos to less than one-fifth the cost of mak
ing pictures with tho ordinary camera, and costs you onlyl cents for each
lilcture. Sine About 4x4 x6 inches. Semi-Automatic WelKfct-24 ounces.
No more than ordinary camera. LouiIm In Daylight with 16 or 50 Post Cards
at a time. Cardn Slr.e 2x3Vi inches. Simple, clear and complete instruc
tions accompany every outfit, insuring Immediate succcs;
How io Get a "Mandel-efte" Gamtra
Tho regular price of a "Mandel-etto" Camera is $5.00, but we have ar
ranged to send you one, completo with sufficient material to take and finish
1C post card photographs under the following terms.
Willi 1 yearly Mubttcrlptloa to The Commoner at SI and $3.50 extra
Or S yearly HuhftcrlptloBM to The Commoner at 91 each and 92.50 cxiru
Or 5 yearly MubHcrlptlonH to The Commoner at 91 each and $1.50 extra
Or 8 yearly HubHcrlntlonx to The Commoner at 91 each
Hero Is a chance to get a first-class Camera and outfit at a remarkable
bargain or without cont In exchange for a little work. Hundreds are get
ting these Cameras and making money taking pictures for friends. Any
boy or girl can earn a Camera in a short time. Start to work today on any
slzo club that suits you. All outfits- shipped promptly with charges prepaid
Address all Orders to THE COMMONER, Lincoln,Neb.
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