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DECEMBER 13, 1912
The Commoner.
13
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Cbe Coolcott ma
the
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Hero
, S!lbi iS lhlk?UiManM hi. first appearance
;"Y ;Vr" '-r , BUumg year no has returned at
,,,.... r.n i menus, i am giad you liko him. Ho and
good friends and he has helned mo in mnm wnva !,..
ho is again and I hope that he will not have to use his "Dad Book
uvun uuvu mio uuilbUUUS. VV. iVl. iJ.J
Now, listen, littlo children, and I'll tell a story true
And better you remember, for it means a lot to you
For if you heed the lesson, then when Christmas time is here
You'll get a lot of presents and a lot of Christmas cheer.
The Lookout Man is walking when the stars begin to peep
To soo it little children aro in bed and fast asleep;
And all who act up naughty and don't mind Iheir ma's and pa's,
The Lookout Man is watching, and he'll tell old Santa Claus.
I knew a little fellow once who got real bad, and said
He didn't care for Santa Claus, and wouldn't go to bed;
And said he didn't have to mind O, he was awful bad,
And didn't seem to care a mite in making folks feel sad.
Btit when it came to Christmas Day he didn't get a thing,
For Santa Claus had heard of him and not a thing he'd bring.
He knew that bad boy's record bettor mind your ma's and
The Lookout Man is watching and ho'll tell old Santa Claus.
pa's,
I also knew a little girl who was just awful bad.
She wouldn't get her lessons and she always got so mad
If anybody told her to be still and hush her noise
Well, she was always wishing for a lot of Christmas toys;
But when 'twas Christmas morning, to her wonder and surprise,
An empty stocking hanging in the corner met her eyes.
You see, she acted naughty better mind your ma's and pa's;
The Lookout Man is watching and he'll tell old Santa Claus.
The Lookout Man is peeping through the windows every night
And counting up the children who are always acting right.
And going off to bed at once when told it's time to go,
And never pouting, not a bit, or taking clothes off slow.
He puts them in the good book, but the bad ones in the bad,
And when he writes a bad one, 0, he looks just awful sad;
For he knows they will get nothing better mind your ma's and pa'
The Lookout Man is watching and he'll tell old Santa Claus.
Unheeded Advice
Yes, the advice is to do your
Christmas shopping early. A thous
and paragraphers are urging it.
Yards of editorials aro being printed
advocating it.
But what's the use?
You'll pay no attention to it.
You'll fuss around looking at the
Christmas wares until a couple of
days before Christmas,, then you'll
join the rush. You'll be squeezed
and battered and Jammed; you'll lose
your temper, and get miles and miles
away from the Christmas spirit;
you'll talk cross to the exhausted
girls behind the counters and con
vince them at a season of good will
Christmas is all to the bad and
really a season of aching limbs and
throbbing heads and surly shoppers.
Of course you will. No use deny
ing it. You always have, and despite
every appeal to your better sense
and your good nature you'll keep
right on doing It. I know you will,
for every Christmas for the last
thirty years I've written that same
ppeal, thtn postponed my own
Christmas buying till the last minute.
Result: Loss of temper, a collection
of stuff that fon't suit m znomsy
worse than wasted and a loss of self
respect. Oh, I know all about it
and about you.
"Do your Christmas shopping
early!"
There; I've gotten that off my
chest. I'll feel better, even if I do
know you'll pay no attention to my
advice.
A Thanksgiving Memory
Do you remember your last
Thanksgiving day at the old home,
with all members of the family circle
present? I do and the memory
carries mo back more than thirty
years. There were only five of us
father, mother, sister, brother and
myself It was In a little cottage In
a little Missouri town. I was be
ginning to think about spreading my
wings and flying the home neat, for
I was about to complete my appren
ticeshiD In the old Sentinel office.
SlsSr the next oldest, was still in
short skirts and wore her hair In
?ong curls, and brother was a chubby
little tot in knickerbockers, just big
inonrti to bo ever tumbling out of
frees id from the back porch, to the
deu-iment of his clothes and of n
'JJS M body. Father was a big,
hale, hearty man, Just the ago I am
now always jolly, never no happy
as when making others happy, and
"ill of tiulot fun that bubblod and
sparkled in his black eyes. And
mother! She could walk under
father's outstretched arm without
mussing her hair.
I remember that dinner, for ere
another one rolled around I was out
in the wide world, hustllnx for my
self. You better believe it was a
good dinner, for mother concocted It,
and she was an nrtlst In tho culinary
line. But somehow or other wo
never seemed nble to moot all at
once around tho home Thanksgiving
table after that. Either father or
sister would be absent. But as Ions
as mother lived I never missed, save
once, eating my Thanksgiving din
ner with her, though more than once
I traveled hundred of miles to give
myself that great joy.
You who are permitted to meet
all the loved ones of votir family
circle around the Thanksgiving
hoard you don't know what a
blessed privilege is yours. It will
novor come to me again. Father
and mother have answered tho final
summons. Sister is away out in
California; brother is away down In
Missouri. My own first born Is
nearly a thousand miles away.
But every Thanksgiving day there
is an extra plate placed on our
family table, an extra chair always
ready for the loved one who will not
come. And I lov to think, as I re
vel in the feast the Ljttle Woman
and tho Biggest Girl prepare, that
my absent loved ones take turns in
filling that empty chair. And I am
thankful that 1 had them once upon
a time; that I have their memory
to cheer me; that r have still left
loved ones who sit with me and join
me in returning thanks for all the
blessings that God has bestowed
upon me.
Ilirsiifely Historical
It was Bill Nye who referred to
tho "Syracuse hair" adorning tho
head of a young lady friend, and
when asked to explain ho said that
he 'called It "Syracuse hair" because
It was six stations beyond Auburn.
This as an introduction to the
statement that Governor-elect Sulzer
of New York wears a thatch that
would come within Bill's description.
But Governor-elect Sulzer is rather
proud of it and why not? Can he
not point to tho fact that George
Washington's white periwig covered
a head adorned with red hair? When
Alexander the Great sat down and
bemoaned the fact that there were
no more worlds to conquer he thrust
his fingers into a fine growth of red
hair and tore It in his frenzy. Rufus
of England was some man, and he
was called Rufus the Red because he
had hair so red that were he alive
today he wouldn't daro walk bare
headed on a railroad track for fear
of flagging all tho trains to a stop.
Elizabeth of England was redheaded,
and If history Is to bo relied upon
she was a very extraordinary sort of
woman. Napoleon's hair was nearer
red than any other color, and I
rather guess he left bis mark. And
don't overlook the fact that it was
not alone as a soldier that Napoleon
won farao. His famous "Code Na
poleon" occupies a mighty prominent
place in the legal world.
It isn't the color of his hair that
is worrying Governor-elect Sulzer
not by a long shot. If there is any
thing about his hair that is causing
him worry it is the possibility of los
ing it in time.
Onr Versatile Congressmen
Speaking of versatility, we com
mend to your attention Dan V.
Stephens, representing the Third Ne
braska district in congress. In addi
tion to being a democratic democrat,
Mr. Stephens Is a school teacher, the
author of several text books and
mora than one popular book of fic
tion, an authority on good road
building, and a farmer who took 150
ncrps of worthloM land that every
body clfto said would never bo fit
for anything but wild hay, and made
It ylold moro bushels of whont per
aero than any equal number of acres
In any ono county In Nebraska and
believe mo Nebraska Ik some pump
kins when It comes, to producing
wheat. Between Mines ho manages a
bis publishing house, talks to con
ventions and puts In a fow more
mlloH of drain tile on his big Platte
river bottom estate
Working n Scheme
"If my wife comes In hero and
asks about clears, you toll her that
I smoke Mudaduros the kind you
sell at $2.50 a hundred."
"Very well, :ut how am I to know
your wife when sho comos In?"
"She Ih a tall, dark complexloned
woman, with a very Romnn nose and
a look that will Indicate that she Is
In the habit of having her own way."
"And suppose alio orders a hun
dred Mududuros?"
"That's what I am getting at.
Here's a ten-dollar note. You tnko
her money, then vou pack a hundred
of those Flor do Havanollas tho
two-for-n-quarler kind, In a Mudti
box and have 'em all ready for her."
The tobacconist winked at tho
customer, the customer winked at
tho tohacconint. A fow weeks lator
a dotermlned-Iooklng woman will bo
telling hor friends how sho gets such
rare bargains In cigars for hor
hubby.
Justifiable
"And now," said the polleo
judge, "you muy explain If you can
why you violently assaulted this
man."
"Your honor, T had Just paid for
a couple of tons of coal when I met
this fellow, and ho begun tolling mo
about the time when he lived in
central Illinois and could go out
In his own back lot and get all tho
coal he needed just for the digging.
Then I hit him."
Whereupon the Judge dismissed
tho defendant and fined the plaintiff
$fi and coBts for using languago cal
culated to provoke an assault.
Doing It Knrly
Tho other day I ran across my
friend WImberly in a tobacco shop,
and he was busily engaged In look
ing over a big assortment of meer
schaums, calabashes and French
briars.
"What's on now?" I asked.
"I'm taking time by the forelock
and buying m;' wife a Christmas
present," ho replied.
"And what Is Mrs. Wimbcrly do
ing?" I asked.
"I left her down at the Woman's
Exchange to select a Christmas
present for me," ho replied.
Kiddles Six
I beg to announce a new edition
of my book of poems, "Kiddles Six."
You know what It Is. Cloth bound,
200 pages, with a picture of the
Architect, the Little Woman and the
Six Kiddles. They aro coming from
the binder now, and I can fill before
Christmas all orders received before
December 20. Price, $1, postpaid,
anywhere in the United States or
Canada. I beg the patience a bit
longer of those who have co long
waited for the books they ordered.
I am. sending them out every day,
and you'll all get yours before this
coming Christmas. Tt is slow work,
owing to circumstances over which
I bad no control.
Order now, and get the book be
fore Christmas and I'll have some
Christmas money to spend on the
Little Woman and the Six Kiddies.
Address, Will M. Maupin, 436 Bank
ers Life, Lincoln, Neb.
Ill
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