V'F '"-''' '
MARCH 22, 1912
The Commoner.
13
01' Man Armstead's Violin
"There ain't no use t' talk t' me
'Bout Paedrewski an' hio class;
F'r when1 it conies t' classic art
I got t' let 'em by me pass.
My ears wan't trained f'r them
fugaes
What makes up such an awful din,
But I can listen by th' hour
T' or Man Armstead's violin.
"Once't on a time I went t' hear
Th' famous Thomas orchestray,
I sw'ar it only sawed an' blowed,
An' nary tune I heard it play.
Now, as f'r me, 'Departed Days,'
An' them ol' tunes tb' darkey
sings,
All' sound a blamed sight better
could be made over into roses and
banked around the feet of the gray
haired old fiddler, he'd bo smothered
by their perfume and obscured from
the' sight of his fellows bv their
petals. Under the spell of its music
whipping day before yesterday for
the second time, did you not promlio
mo that the day would never como
when you'd again disobey mo and get
into the jam jars?"
"Yessum!"
"Well; and now I catch you at it
again, with jam smeared clear back
of your ears."
"I know, ma; but you must under
stand that in making that promiao I
meant 'consecutive day.' "
"Look here, young follow! Didn't
I warm you last Sunday night that it
old men and women have closed their was tlle last Sunday night I wanted
eves to the lieht of rlnv. and RitHmr' 'Ou t c11 on mv daughter?"
from
Th' 01'
strings.
Man Armstead's fiddle-
"Sonatys an' great symphonies
May suit th' edikated taste;
But as f'r me I got no time"
T' put t' such a sinful waste.
Th' music that I love th' best -
Is them ol' tunes that's looked
within -
Th' strings that's stretched across
th bridge
Of 01' Man Armstead's violin.
"An when my life q' toil is done
An' I am summoned up on high,
I want some music soft and sweet
T' waft me upward to th' sky.
I wan, when Peter swings th' gate
T' let t,his weary traveler in,
T' , be a ikeepin. joyful step
T' 01' . Man Armstead's violin.
eyes to the light of day, and sitting
silent and still havo lived over the
days of their childhood, lived over
again the days of their sweetheart
ing, lived over the days of manhood's
prime.
"Old Man Armstead's Violin!" It
was its music that led our feet under
the big maple trees in a country
town, and there we found the Little
Woman. Oft we heard her singing
to the accompaniment of that violin.
Often we've danced to its rollicking
music. And after all this we are not
surprised that the judges at the
Omaha tournament decided that
George W. Armstead of North Bend
was the best old time fiddler of the
lot. Mr. Armstead is the father of
Mrs. Will M. Maupin of Lincoln.
V !
A V,0, Oil .
"And didn't you promise mo you'd
not bang around hero another
night?"
nUU UUTY J. HUH JJll lUUIltl'b "l
against my fireplace, soaking up my
heat and talking soft nothings to my
daughter. Haven't you any regard
for your word?"
"Certainly, Mr. Snoopdendyko. But
in promising you that I would not
offend you again by calling upon MIbs
Mary upon a Sunday night I, of
course, meant upon a 'consecutive'
Sunday night. You will observe that
this is only Tuesday, therefore I
have not yet broken my word."
Modem Definitions
Consecutive A convenient oxcubo
for violating a pledge.
Friendship Something that should
not bo allowed to stand in tho Way
of ambition.
Regulation A handy method of
throwing dust in tho eyes of tho
people.
IJrain Leaks
Thoxp aro somo judges wo do not
caro tarrocall.
Idle." dollars, like idlo men, help
dcprosii all markets.
Thcrman always looking for the
worst of it doesn't havo to look far.
Tho best part of life isn't what
you get out of it, but what you put
Into it.
If all of us got what is really com
ing to us, most of us would bo com
plaining worso than over.
Tho owl has acquired a reputation
for wisdom by looking solemn and
saying little. But who wants to bo
an owl?
When a man has done his level
best really his level best ho gots
credit for doing all. But not from
hin fellowmen.
This is the time of year when wo
aro tnanKiui wo vo outgiuwu hj
sassafras tea and sulphur-and-molas-ses
stage of boyhood.
The Old Fiddlers
A tournament of the old time
fiddlers was held in Omaha recently.
None of your high-falutin' operatic
airs for them. No sir-e-ee! Digital
dexterity had to give way for pathos
and real heart interest when those
old time fiddlers laid ther cheeks
against their fiddles and swept sweet
strains from the strings. Chop
sowloinskivetch's sonata in Q, and
Slapstikowski's fugue in Asia Minor,
and Skipalinkossidge's sniff ony inQ
major were shoved to one side, while
those old timers played real music
the kind that reaches right down into
your innards and picks holes in your
heart. "Scenes That Are Brightest,"
"Departed Days," "Money Musk,"
VOl' Dan Tucker," "Arkansaw Trav
eler," "The Heart Bowed Down,"
"Annie Laurie," "Ol'd Black Joe,"
"Kentucky Homo," "Suwanee River"
and "Home Sweet Home.!' Ah,
there's the old tunes for you
melodies that melt your hearts, turn
your thoughts back to other days and
lift tho weight of years from your
shoulders. Wouldn't you just love
to hear those old tunes played on a
violin by one of those old past
masters in "fiddlin' " who play for
the love of. it and not for pay?
We know the old time fiddler who
"won that Omaha contest. Time and
again we've sat for hours while he
bent his gray head above that fiddle,
cuddling it under his chin as a
mother cuddles her babe to her
breast, and making it sob and wail
then making it laugh like a child
amidst the flowers; then making it
bring back the fair-cheeked maiden
waiting In the lane for her lover;
then making it croon a lullaby
that a million mothers have used to
put their babies to sleep; then mak
ing it bring back the faces of loved
ones gone before, telling again the
old stories of love and hope and life
H-ah me! If every throb of joy that
old fiddle has given to human hearts
Stung!
A few weeks ago this department
contained a little story. It was
located in Lincoln, and the Architect
was given the incident as having
really happened, so he printed it.
Now comes his good friend, S. Ritchie
of Warrensburg. 111., and shows that
ho printed the same story in his
paper more than three years ago.
Since then we've seen it located in a
dozen different towns.
We admit we're often stung that
way. And every time we get called
down in a good-natured way by good
friends. It's all right! Some of
these days, maybe, we'll run across
an absolutely new joke, and when
we do our fortune's made.
The second story window was
raised and a nightcapped head thrust
forth.
"Is that you, John Henry?"
"Yesh, m' dear; thisli ish me."
"And drunk again!"
"No, m' dear; jush sligh'ly 'toxi-cated."
"And only last week you promised
me vou'd never get drunk again."
"Shertainly, m' dear. But thish is
'centional case. I meant I'd not get
toxicated 'notlier nignt,
HE LAUGHS BEST WHO LAUGHS
FIKST
"Why, man, you have no sense of
humor. When I first heard that
joke I laughed till my sides ached."
"So did I." Christian Advocate.
"Consecutivo"
So Teddy's hat is in the ring, the hat
of notoriety;
'Twas chucked therein a week ago,
regardless of propriety.
And from now on until- tho end witn
wonderful velocity
We'll see him explanationing witii
his old-time veracity.
For Teddy's in the race
He's gunning for the Place,
And by the word "consecutive" has
stirred our curiosity.
Time after time with emphasis of
real ponderosity
He's paid his tribute to his man of
gen'rous corporosity;
But now comes Teddy .to decry by
r.ia TiAw-foorn nhilosophy
He's figured out that he alono can.
save by strenuosity.
So regardless of his word
His trusty sword ho 11 gird,
And tell us how to save ourselves
and tell it Tvith pomposity.
"Nay nay!" he cried, four years
ago, "ne'er should Oie state's
ReturTthre times!" But, now he
says'he really meant "consecu-
But Iwith Teddy you agree, then
may you all expect to live
To take with joy what such as Ted
may deem it quite correct to
Soddy's in the running;
For Taft he's gone a sunnine
And above the noiso of battle is the
slogan, "meant consecutive."
In Dodgoville
"Henry!"
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BURGL-AllY
MJss Vocolo "I'm never happy
unless I'm breaking i"to song."
rtriirht Youne Man "Why don t
hut nf vmi i?nt tho key and you won't havo
coursh, I meant 'nother consec-tive to break in?" New Orleans Times-
night." Democrat.
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