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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 2, 1912)
-TT -K' ,"""" "?f T. The Commoner. 13 FEBRUARY 2, 112 .11 . wise man utter vain knowledge, and fill his belly with the east wind?" And right there wo have the root of our modern slang expression, "hot air." rw? 4ytePiiioiflr(ot Dreams f; They say there's a land where our dreams come true, And many are longing to find it; But not any for me, for I'm telling you v It's a land that William's not longing to view If some of his dreams are be hind it. Last eve'ning I ate a huge slice of mince pie, Some smearcase and buckwheats and honey; And if such a land there should be you bet I Would starboard my helm and quick ly sail by I wouldn't live there for much money. For me 'twould l)e filled with hob goblins and ghosts, With fiends and with gnomes and with witches; With fire-breathing dragons and blood-sucking hosts, And Bkin-scarring victims lashed fast to hot posts I wouldn't stop there for John's riches. From an Old Pal Years and years ago more than I care to recall save now and then when I wandered to and fro on the face of the earth, conveying the in formation of the sages to the popu lace by means of the movable type ' Oh, wha't I started to say is that a long time ago when I was a tour ist printer and "edged up ems" in pretty nearly every big city in the union, I used to occasionally meet up with a big, jolly, good natured printerman named Shrope Marquis DeLafayette Shrope. Along about the time the machines came in and put us old-timers "on the bum" Shrope was heard from, and the news told us that he had married and settled down somewhere in Pennsyl vania. It was about that time I also succumbed to the wiles of a little woman and quit pesticating around over the country and settled down for keeps. Once in a long while Shrope and I would meet at printers' conventions, and when our wives were present we would tell decorous tales of the old days on the road and when they were not present we'd recall some' other scenes. Not that we were so ashamed of them that we didn't want our wives to hear, but because they might lead up to em barassing questions. Well, I hadn't heard from my old comrade for several years until the other day, and then I opened a let ter that bore hia old and familiar signature. I'm going to give you that letter, first because it may serve to recall something similar in your own life, and secondly, because it shows how most of us old time printermen have settled down for keeps and become sedato and sober minded. Here goes the letter: "Easton, Pa., Jan. 17. Friend Bill: Last Saturday evening Mrs. Shrope concluded she would enter tain the 'old man' that's me with some readings, and she selected Kiddies Six.' She started all right, but when she came to 'The Oldest Boy there was a halt. Mother could not read It aloud; tears filled her eyes, and she stopped. I took up the book and tried It myself. I was taken with the same complaint and then Dad and Mother cried in unison. ' "Our oldest boy and the only one-i left home nine years ago, and the daughter 'flew the coop' last February, and can you wonder that your masterful poem had the effect that it did? Mother says that wo are now starting again the same as wo did thirty-one years ago alone and wo feel our lonesomeness keenly in our declining years. You bet we are growing old,- and our only pleasure is our children and the darndest bestest grandson that ever put on pants. And now mother grand mother sits in the lamplight knit ting socks and 'sich.' and I know they are too small for grandpa's Little Bill; and when I asked who she is making them for she only smiles and says, 'O, I guess some use will bo found for them.'' And so groweth the third generation. "I am not an authority on poetry, Bill, but a perusal of your book is a pleasure. May you live to make many additions to your poetical works. Fraternally yours, "SHROPE." Good old Shrope! I can only hope ho is as good a husband and father and grandad as he was a printer away back yonder when the Missouri river "Pirates" spread the gospel of organization in the growing west, and Omaha and St. Joe and Kansas City were feeding places for the rovers headed east from Denver or west from Chicago. Bless me; my own boy away out west, married and in a home of his own, and Helen Shrope married and in a home of her very own! Why, it was only a few days ago, it seems, when I saw her clinging to her mother's hand as Shrope and I ambled along at a printers' conven tion and held session on the old days. Getting old? That's what we are, old pal; old in years, but we'll never grow old of heart not while we can sit and smoke and recall these old days, eh, Shrope? I'll dare you, old scout, to meet me in Cleve land next August, with both missuses along, and such representatives of succeeding generations as may be able at that time to travel; and then we'll hold a session that will make the old ones in the alley back of the World-Herald, or alongside the old St. Joe Gazette look like the Sunday morning remnants of our Saturday night's pay envelopes used to look. What say,' Shrope? So here's to you, and the missus, and the big boy, and Helen, and the grandson and others. Say, isn't it Just bully to watch the sun going west when you're just lazin' around your own home, and know you've got close at hand those who love you and think you. are really somebody? Beats the old days on the road all holler, eh Shrope? Two Hooka "The Calling of Dan Matthews" was one of the "best sellers" a year or two ago, and it was a very in teresting novel the story of a young preacher and his first pastorate. There wore many things In the book that wore familiar, many characters that wo know. But wo didn't think much of the Reverend Dan Matthews. Ho had a "yellow streak" in him that didn't appeal to us. He wasn't half tho man that the old doctor profane old fellow that ho was measured up to be. But tho other day wo laid our hands on another story of a young preacher, "Tho Victory of Allen Rutledge." It was the story of an other first pastorate, but this time tho young preacher didn't have any "yellow streak." Ho was clean grit from topknot to instep; one of those flesh-and-blood young fellows who didn't think it a sin to resent physi cally any physical attack made upon him; 'who didn't think tho hyprocrl tical rich deacon deserved any thine; more than a hypocrite who was poor; who believed that to bo a preacher one need not bo any tho less a man. And before we had finished that book wo were shouting for Rev. Allen Rut ledge and wishing we could meet a lot of pastors like him outside of the covers of a book. If you read "The Calling of Dan Matthews," we want you toread "The Victory of Allen Rutledge." Dan was a quitter, but Allen was the kind that stuck. From tho Old Book Isn't "hot air" a very familiar slang expression these days? Maybe you think it is modern slang, and perhaps it is In Just that form, but Just the same it Is merely a modern derivation of a phrase found In tho book of Job. We of the west know what tho hot winds from the south mean, for they have scorched our corn fields Into nothingness and blighted our wheat and seared our pastures. Away back yonder In Job's time they got their hot winds from tho east, for to the east of them lay the desert that al ways burned and blistered. And tliafa why Job said: "Should a A Family Correspondence "Hokuspokus Academy, Jan. 10. Dear Dad: Please send mo ten dol lars. I want to join the physical culture department and need the money to buy apparatus. Affection ately, "JIM." "Podunk, Mo., Jan. 14. Dear Son: It ain't necessary. I got a phy sical culture class waitin' for you as soon as school is out. Got all the apparatus, too. Breakin' plow, cul tivator, hoes, rakes, and so forth. Beats them gymnasiums all holler, my boy. Lovingly, "DAD." Tho Difference I shot an arrow into the air; It fell to earth I know not where, And as for that, I didn't care I shot an arrow into' the air I threw a dollar into tho air; It fell to earth I know nof where, And at tho time I didn't care But I'd like to have that dollar back, along with a lot of others I threw into the air in days gone by. How about you? Brain Leaks We are very apt to measure present success by lost opportuni ties. A head full of sense is not easily rattled. Wouldn't a lot of our rich people be awfully offended if some of us poor people should organize and go snooping around to see how the well-to-do live? The trouble about the Darwinian theory is that somo men have not yet descended. It is not so difficult to grow old gracefully as it la to grow old will ingly. Wo are still living In hopes that some day we will see a drama in which the villain does not smoke cigarettes. How we wish that moro banquet orators had a stoppage In their speech. The older we. grow the more we. understand the meaning of tho word friendship. This Washer Must Pay for Itself. A MAN tried to o!l mo n horsn once. Ho en Id It wm a lino horse and had nothing tho mutter with U I wnntcd n Ann hone, lint, I didn't know anything about hornoa much. And I won't Know tho man very wnll cither. Ho I told him I -wanted to try tho horfio ror a month, ho naui "All rlk'ht, hut pay mo first, uud I'll Klvo voti b:ick your money If tho horse Isn't nil rltrtit." well. I didn't liko that. I wiw afraid thn hon-owasnVall rlKlit and that I illicit have to whlxtlu or my money If I oncu parted with It. Bo I didn't buy tho horge althoiiKli I wnntcd It badly. Now this nut me thinking. You co r make Wash ing m nchlnoM tho "l'JOO anivity" Washer. And I oatd to myself, lots of pcoplo may think about my Waih Inii Mac hi no as I thought about tho horso, and about tho man who owned IL Hut, I'd rover know, bocauso they wouldn't writs and toll mo. You koo I isell my WuhIiIikt Machines by mall. 1 have sold ovor half a million that way. Ho, thouuht J, It Ik only lair enough to lot iK'opIo try my Waahlmr Machines Tor a month, before they pay for thum, Juntas I wanted to try tho hone. Now, I know what our "1000 Gravity" Washer will do. I know It will wash tho clothe, without wearing or tear inr them, In less than half tho tlmo thoy can bo washed by hand or by any othar machine I know It will wash a tub full of vory dirty rlothcHl u Six minutes. I know no other machlno ovor Invented can do that, without wearing out tho clothe. Our "1000 Gravity" Waahor does tho work bo easy that a child can run It almoHt nn well ana atrontr woman, and It don't wear the clothes, Iniy thpodgca nor break buttons tho way all other machines do. I tjiwt drives toapy wator clear throuun mu nuros of iho clothes llko a forco pump mluht. . 80. Fa d I to myHolf, l will do with my "IMO Grav ity" Washer what I wanted tho man to do with tho hornc. Only I won't wait lor people to nk me. I'll offer first, and I'll make tood tho oiler every tlmo. r it mo send you a ''I'JOO Gravity" Waslior on n mohth's free trial. I'll pay tho frclKht out or my own pocket, and lfyou don't want tho machine after you'vo used It a month, I'll tako It back and pay tho freight too. Surely that Is fair euoiu,'h, Isn't It? Doenn't It provo that tho "1000 Oravlty" Washer must bo all that I say It Is? And you can pay mo out of what It saves for you. It wdl Havo Its wholocost In a fow mouths, In wear and tear on tho clothes alono. And then It will savo Mccnt to 75 cents a week over that In washwoman's waxes. If you keep tho machlno after tho month'a trial, I'll let you pay for It out or what It avcs you. If It paves you CO cents a week. Bend me V) conte a week 'till paid lor. I'll tako that cheerfully, and I'll wait Tor my money until tho machine Itself earns tho balance. Drop me a line to-day, and lot mo ;nd you a book about tho "1001 Gravity" Washer that ashoi clothes In G minutes. Address mo this way II. L. Darker. WW C'onrthL, ninKharnton, N. Y. if you live in Canada, addrca 1000 Washer Co., 307 Yoiujo St., Toronto, OnU The Public 1 Tho National Journal of Funda mental Democracy, Edited by LouIh P. Post, should bo read by every friend of The Commoner during tho Presidential election campaign. Its clear history of each week, and Its brilliant editorials have a value that Is unique to all who are In sympathy with tho cause of Tho People.. Judge Ilcn II. Llndsey nnyn of It "f do I not understand how anyone in terested In social, economic and political problems can bo without Tho Public." Lincoln Steffens finds it a necessity." SEND TODAY 50c (utamps or coin) for I a six months' trial and a free copy of Kohler's "Hard Times: Tho Cause and Cure." THE PUBLIC 200 EllHWortu Dldc, Chicago, ni. RIDER AGEHTS WANTED to each town to ride and exhibit sample 1913 Bicycle. IVrittor special offer. We Ship on ApprovaX-witknttacent deposit, allow 10 DAYS FREE TRIAL and prepay freight on every bicycle. FACTORY PRICES on Weyeles.tfn sundries. XtorteAvy until you receive our cat Ioe tnd learn our unhiard of price f&nd marvebus special ejrer. Tires, coaster brake rear wheel, lamps, sundries, hatprieu. MSAD CYCl.se CO., Deal. CI77 CMge, U3 3MiMaHU and