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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 8, 1911)
13 SEPTEMBER 8, 111' The Commoner. 4M 0Umi Speaking of Bread Our compliments to Paul Schulze, president of the National Associa tion of Master Bakers, but he is vociferating through his headgear. His statement that homemade bread Is more fatal than an army with banners is unfounded. "We frankly admit that poor bread has wrecked many a home, but we insist that most of the indigestible stuff originated in a bakeshop, not in a kitchen. It must be admitted, however, that the bakers have made wonderful im provements in their art during the last four or five years, but we have yet to see the baker's loaf that can compare in toothsomeness or health fulness with the loaves turned out a couple of times a week from the oven presided over by a certain Little Woman. If you have never put your teeth through a slice of real, genuine old-fashioned "salt ris'n' " bread you have a rare treat In store, provided you can find some old-fashioned breadmaker who has not forgotten how to make it. We have attended many a high-falutin' banquet in our time, but never a one that afforded the gastronomic joy that was ours in days long gone by when we had handed to us a slice of "salt-ris'n' " bread about two inches thick and liberally smeared with butter. If ever we accumulate a pile of money so big we can't haul it in a hayrack we're going to dodgo library endowments and all that sort of thing, and offer splendid prizes for the homemade bread. The genuine article is worth its weight in gold. The baker's business is thriving be cause too many girls are allowed to become prize fudge and angel's food makers while growing up in ignor ance of the greatest of all culinary accomplishments the making of good bread. And do not become obessed with the idea that wheat is the only breadmaking material! Cornbread, the making of which is rapidly becoming a lost art dying out with the generation of "befo' de wah" negro mammies is a most toothsome dainty. The hoecake, the johnniecake, cracklin' bread, pump kin bread, corn loaf and flapjacks say, there was never a baker's loaf that could compare with the corn concoctions put up in years gone by in kitchens presided over by those old-time cooks. No, sir; we're not of the jaded palate class. We like real corn bread just as much as ever, and we'll walk a long ways any old day to get it. The difficulty in get ting good corn bread is not so much the lack of skill on the part of the breadmakers as it Is the lack of skill on the part of millers. If somebody will locate for us a grist mill operated by water power and using the old-fashioned stone burrs, we'll put In our order for a few hun dredweight of meal ground from selected corn. that just beat all? I've actually for gotton the name of the fellow Maymo married!" Nomenclature The man across the aisle looked up from his newspaper and re marked: "Don't they have the most out landish names for men and places over in England?" We nodded assent, not knowing what else to nod. "I'vo been reading about those British strikes, and some of the names are enough to make a horse laugh. 'Blvynhym-on-Tyno,' and 'General Sir MacKenzie FitzMaurice son,' arid 'Blyme-by-the-Thames and a lot more like that. I wonder how they ever remember them." The conversationalist preceded mo into the hotel and was the first to register. I couldn't help but note what he. wrote: "Jerrold Spudberryson, Winne pecumsitscoggin, Maine." accidentally bit off the ond of hor tongue lo offering to pay liberally for a bit of tongue to spllco on hot disfigured member." Jiggs "Great Scott! Whore's a telephone?" Biggs "What do you want with a telephone?" Jiggs "Want to call up my wife. Maybe she would liko to tako down that money!" A Wild OrIo "They knocked Smithers out of tho box." "They stole bases at will." "Bills, Sills and Dills died at first." "Pitchorly whiffed three men in a row." "Simpson was cut off at tho plate." "Jones was thrown out trying to pilfer tho third bag." "Baggs died on a foul." No, not extracts from a free-for-all fight, nor an account of a riot. Merely extracts from a report of a base ball game. Tempos Fugit The summer days are flitting by, The autumn days are drawing nigh. The blasting waves of torrid heat Will soon give way to snow and sleet. Soon o'er the sky gray clouds will roll -And still I haven't bought my coal. Ere soon the sun will southward glide And chilling blasts will blow outside. Jack Frost will come long at night And paint his pictures soft and white. Tho leaves will soon be falling fast To prove that summertime is past. Then will I be deep in the hole My wages gone and still no coal. "Why queried the Small Consequence "It was just the loveliest wedding that Mayme had. Her bridal gown was ft. perfect dream of loveliness, the decorations were simply ex quisite, the wedding dinner was the most elaborate I ever sat down to, and the ring bearers were the love liest little girls, and the floral dis play was just too utterly magnifi cent, and the presents O, I never saw such a profusion of expensive presents in all my life and the " "Who did Mayme marry?" Why, she married well, don't Foiled don't you go to work?" housewife. "A big, strong man like you ought to be ashamed to beg." "I ain't doin' dis because I like it, mum," replied C. N. Dodgelt. "You see In me a brokenhearted man." "What broke your heart?" "It's dis way, mum. You see I was makin' a big success in life when along comes de supreme court an' says me business is a violation o' de anti-Sherman law an makes me dis solve. My heart was in dat busi ness, mum; an' when it wuz taken away ir'm me. I lost ail mo am- blshun." . Wonderful "No dogs or mules in your new play?" "No." "No trick scenery, no ballet, no acrobats?" "No." "No tank, no gangsaws, no old mills?" "No." "Then in the name and tradition of the state what will you have in your new play?" "Nothing but real actors and actresses." Changed His Tactics "Has Binks found a position yet?" "No, he tried for a dozen and failed. I saw him yesterday and he said he'd quit trying for a position and had landed a job." Opportunity Biggs "i see by the newspapers that an Independence, Mo., girl who Impossible Baggs "I read an awful good joke today about tho price of pota toes." Skaggs "Gee, but you must have a mighty highly developel sense of humor to see anything funny about tho price of spuds." Acceptthis$25Suit V E8. FKEE mr outfit mmt you at onto I with our n'w roost remarKsiw easy mowymiunjconer,vriin mr xiraaam pin suit oucr too, iicBweiiurcxi,iuvi bucked ty us in spara urno or miuiiw, iui our reprnstonUtlvo In your extluaivo territory. No money or esrrtcne necamry. No references i or rd tsp. Your lest chance I hero If you writ a potUi quick, uuroncrmoana Per day easy or S3Qfo$50aweck Wo trust you nlmolulely. Jnt ihnwour Hi Outfit of SAmptai and Color Plntcs of latest beau- hli.wui i ijfi'".'-""-r -: -- - - - paid. Your friends will crsbnt this ensneo jwuwjw. to irot our perfect hand Uiloml mudo-to I-.vrry thug la measure swetlest suits, pn.nUiorovr'ots. rnJCC T They'll o 1.1 totS. HuitaS8up, IlUrsest rKLH VU profit and confidential peclaMnlcIo whole- n tfrriT aalo prices to you. lit, workman? hip and II II I r I 1 material Guaranteed rr Ilond. Finest In ,7 " " " America for style, looks and vrear. Undersell all others. OCRU nil ItlUnXI y0a want this sure. Don't mUs It. Wo want you. Wo hack ono man this w Great Central Tailoring Co. UtiZtirSui YrsL Of EhST fr Uf iyt 1 JStI, Tjffli? KbS ? F f)Jt lysMssi SAMttESWT Wo hack ono man this way to each ter ritory. Cct In quick. No risk. . Wo holp and show yon. Chanco of llfo to jjot lest clothes, mako roost money. Keep it to yoursolll Hurry postal loan Old Saw Modernized The lazy youth made a belated appearance. ' "Go to tho ant, thou' " began tho man who is always quoting. "Nix on tho ant thing," retorted tho youth. "I get quicker results from my uncle." Several 44 Are there any bright spots in the life of a farmer?" "I guess there Is!" exclaimed Farmer Toilsome. "What are they?" "Breakfast, dinner, supper and bedtime." Firm Believer "Is Jillson a believer in recipro city?" ' "I should say ho is! He is always willing to trade anything ho has and doesn't want for something he hasn't got and would like to have." Sarcastic "I hear your husband has been fishing." "Yes." "Did he bring any fish homo?" "Yes; one sucker." Brain Leaks Length of years is not tho sum total of life. A great deal of tho luck some men have is founded on hard work. The trouble with a lot of leaders U that their crowds will not follow. About the greatest waste of energy we know of is tho bearing of a grudge. A lot of fellows are so intent on defending their rights that they are always wrong. The man who has a good voca bulary does not find it necessary to resort to profanity to express him self. We do not know just which com mandment it Is but the fellow who is wasting good watermelons manu facturing sugar therefrom is surely breaking it. Some people hurry through; some people worry through; wise people do neither. Most of us would rather tell our troubles than listen to the trouble tales of others. And we always love the one who listens well when we tell 'em. The Guaranty State Bank, Muskogee, Oklahoma, offers to their cmtomeni and rrtiders ofthlspapar throughout tho country exceptional fncllltle for handling accounts hy mnll. Tho DopoxltorsOuir nnty Fund or tho Klato oroklahomn Insure absolute safety of nil funds doponltcd with ux. Wo believe In tho Integrity and conwrvnthnn of our onictfr, butyounro not compelled to rely on thin. What protection do you cut from your homo bank? Write for booklot to-dny. Interest paid ou Tlmo Deposits and EavliiKH Account. M. 0. IIA8KKLL, Vlco President. M. 0. 8KXL8. Cathlor. "Osirtrt c No Fns until allowpd. Frno Hooks RHEUMATISM Let Um Send You a Harm Jen External Ileraedy Which In CurlHjr TliouKaudn TO TRY FIU2E WHITE TODAY Don't tako harmful medicines for rheumatism but drop a pobtal to us and get by return poHt a Himplo ap pliance to bo worn on tho feet. km K. fpMi .if FREDERICK DYER, Cor., Sec. You wouldn't tako our word for th remarkable quick and lasting benefit you will receive, bo we send this Remedy on approval, without a cent in advance. Then, after trying, if you aro satisfied with tho benefits received, send us Oho Dollar. If not, the Remedy costs you nothing. You can see that if wo didn't satisfy nearly everybody who writes, wo couldn't exist, whereas wo aro now soiling our great Remedy in nearly every civilized country in tho world. Millions havo tried it on this plan. No other remedy in all time, to our knowledge, ever brought so much rolief to suffering humanity as ours. Men and women who have suffered 20 and 30 and 40 years write us that at last we have found tho true cure. Can you read those statements and continuo to suffer without t-vrn rlskintr a postal to test our claims? Then write us now. Address Magic Foot Draft Co., XC36 Oliver Bldg., Jackson, Mich. Re member we have nothing to gain but all to lose if wo do not bring you prompt relief. Send no money Just your noma and address. Write today. w&tujjn SI m H ft' Jl 51 Hi o .