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AUGUST 18, 1911
The Commoner.
13
greatest and most Incorruptible leader
that the democratic party has had
since Jefferson.
But the people are onto the Job;
they will keep their eye on the gun
and stand by those who have stood by
them. The interests and their "fa
vorite sons" can not nominate Har
mon in 1912. In due season the
people will hand out to you either
Joseph Folk, Champ Clark or Wood
row Wilson, and you and al lof us
can choose between him and William
H. Taft.
UNDERWOOD AND BRYAN
Mr. Underwood's bitter denial of
Mr. Bryan's charge against him on
account of his protectionist leanings
would be far more impressive if Mr.
Underwood in drafting his tariff bills
had not made them substantially pro
tective. It is quite possible that Mr.
Bryan was mistaken in declaring that
Mr. Underwood had pursued a policy
of delay in regard to the steel
schedule; and we may accept Mr.
Underwood's statement on the sub
ject without question; but this does
not dispose of the vital issue raised
by Mr. Bryan regarding the demo
cratic course in the house as mapped
out by the Alabama leader.
The, interview which has drawn
Mr. Underwood's fire is not the first
utterance by Mr. Bryan on the atti
tude of Mr. Underwood and the
policy the democrats have followed
under his guidance. From the very
beginning Mr. Bryan has insisted
that any recognition of the republi
can doctrine of protection in a demo
cratic tariff bill would be treason to
democratic principles and in direct
violation of party pledges. But at
every step in the tariff legislation
which Mr. Underwood has fathered
the doctrine of protection has been
more or less clearly recognized and
Mr. Underwood has shown himself at
least. as anxious to cater to protec
tionist sentiment as to sentiment
more, in harmony with democratic
traditions.
Mr. Underwood calls Mr. Bryan a
liar and his bitter denunciation of
the Nebraskan evokes loud and up
roarious, applause. Yet Mr. Bryan
in this particular instance at the
very worst had been misled by un
reliable information concerning a
single detail affecting Mr. Under
wood's action in the matter of iron
and steel. What had spoken louder
than any words in relation to Mr.
Underwood's tariff leanings was his
Insistence (under the false pretense
of revenue need) of a protective tax
on raw wool and the retention of
protective duties on the manufac
tures of wool. The pretense that the
Underwood wool and cotton bills are
revenue measures is as bald a one as
could well be made. Both are dis
tinctly protectionist measures and
the protection they afford the trusts
is higher than old-time protectionists
like Sherman and Garfield ever
dreamed of extending to "infant in
dustries." There was no voice raised In the
house in defense of Mr. Bryan or in
deprecation of the Underwood viru
lence. It is natural that the mem
bers of the house should stand back
of their leader and applaud his ut
terances. They have made common
cause with him in his tariff policy.
They are all in the same bed and
they as well as he muBt square them
selves with their constituents. If
they can discredit Mr. Bryan by put
ting him in the attitudeof a liar and
a mischief maker, their task will be
so much the easier. If they can per
suade the country in general and
their own Immediate constituents In
particular that the Nebraskan has
degenerated Into a common scold and
a political scandal . monger, It will
be a simple matter to justify their
.(Continued on Page 14.)
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Your boat chance is here If you writ a
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Abscnco
How big a little house can be
When all have gone away
And left no ono at home but me;
How dreary, grim and gray
The shadows are at eventide,
When lone and tired I come
And have no ono to sit beside
Mo when at last I'm homo.
The hall seems leagues of distance
wide,
Bach room a vast estate;
Dark forms In dusky corners hide
And terrors lie in wait.
Deep silence reigns, and over all
The lonesome shadows creep;
I list to hear a soft footfall
From out the silence deep.
No welcome laugh, no smiling face,
No eager, running feet
To meet mo as I near the place;
No kiss from lips so sweet.
A barren isle in widespread sea;
A rock In desert wide;
No hands that beckon unto mo
Near homo at eventide.
And yet, ere morning sun awakes
I feel a presence sweet;
Dream faces dreary fancy breaks
And brings a joy complete.
I feel the touch of little hands,
See smiles of childish glee;
And as from far-off Fairyland
My children come to me.
O'er low-flung hills and valleys wide,
Far from the city's strife,
Midst country scenes where joys
abide
Are children dear and wife.
So what care I if dark and drear
The cottage seems to be,
If brown and strong my kiddles dear
Soon hasten home to me!
Biblical Humor
A good friend writes to inquire If
The Architect ever saw the humor
in that little scene wherein the
prophet of God made merry with the
priests of Baal? Of course he has.
He has read the story times without
number, and he has oftqn envied
Elijah the fun the old prophet must
have had on that great occasion. If
Elijah didn't laugh till his sides
ached as he watched the frantic an
tics of the priests of Baal and lashed
them with his sarcasm :well if he
didn't he failed to grasp a mighty
fine opportunity for enjoying a good
laugh. In the language of the street
boys, Elijah fairly joshed the life
out of those priests of Baal.
And did you ever stop to think
about the humor of that little episode
that put a stop to the building of
the tower of Babel? How easy it
would have been for the Lord to
have stopped the work by upsetting
the tower, or destroying the ma
terial. But He didn't. He brought
on the confusion of tongues, and
when a bricklayer called for mortar
he got bricks, and vice versa; and
when the foreman ordered a thing
done something else was done; and
men who should have come up went
down; and men who should have
gone down came up. It must have
been a merry old time. Is it sacri
lege to believe that the Lord enjoyed
the situation and had a quiet laugh
at the antics of the little human ants
so far below him?
Humor? Why the Book of Books
Is full of it If It wasn't It would
lack something, and lacking some
thing it would not be the perfect
book that Christians believe it to be.
Taking an Advantago
Hero's a true story about Richard
L. Metcalfe providing it gets past
his blue pencil.
The incident happened almost
twenty years ago, when "Mot" was
editor-in-chief of the Omaha World
Herald, the writer a reporter, and
long before the linotype machines
were installed or the editorial staff
supplied with typewriters. Wo wrote
everything longhand in Uiobo days.
As all printers know, the copy on a
daily paper is cut into short pieces,
or "takes," and these "takes" num
bered. A printer might got a piece
of copy beginning In tho middle of
a sentence. In those days Sandy
Woodbridgo was city editor, and
many a long hour wo boys put In
discussing which wrote tho worst
copy, Sandy or "Met."
Ono night Dixie Dunbar got a
"tako" of Sandy's copy and it nearly
drove that old timer crazy trying to
decipher it. He agonized over it till
he had lost a thousand "ems" or so,
and finally finished it. He dumped
the "take," went to tho copy hook
and pulled off a "tako" of "Mot's"
wlerd copy. Gazing at it for a mo
ment Dunbar gave a wild whoop and
then exclaimed:
"Thank goodness that duck has
had his arms cut off and is compelled
to write with his feet!"
Campaign Optimism
Tho average offlceseeker is usually
an optimist. He is always sure of
tho nomination, and usually as sure
of election. A Lincoln friend who is
a candidate for office is not so opti
mistic as most of them, and he tells
a good story to explain why ho is not
certain of success. Tho story illus
trates the optimism of the average
candidate, however.
In the early days of Nebraska there
lived In the southwestern part of tho
stato a man named Tom Harlan,
rough, brusque, but ruggedly honest.
Harlan county was named in his
honor. In his neighborhood lived a
man named well, say Smith whose
character was not of the best, but
who was always "butting In." One
summer Smith conceived the Idea
that he would like to go to the legis
lature, so started out campaigning.
One of the first men he met was Tom
Harlan.
"Well, Tom," drawled Smith, "I've
kind o cakilated I'd mako tho race
for tho legislature"
"You don't say," replied Harlan.
"Yes, an' I havo como around t'
ask you if you won't give mo your
support."
"Not by a blankety-blank sight!"
exclaimed Harlan.
"Well, If, that's tho case, Tom,"
said Smith, drawing a notebook and
pencil from his pocket, "I'll just
mark you down as 'doubtful.' "
Deprivation
Upon tho wide chautauqus stage
Today he's not syrating.
Unto vast crowds that sit before
Today he's not orating.
No goodly purse, no wild applause
Comes into his possession;
He's full of deadly gloom because
Congress Is still in session.
Uacle Josh Wittem
"A lot of people who can see
trouble without spectacles can't see
joy with a microscope. Yesterday's
mistakes ought to be tomorrow's profit'
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The Guaranty
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Muskogee, Oklahoma,
offers to their euxtomcr and readers of tills paper
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II
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"ZiiM