The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923, July 14, 1911, Page 13, Image 13

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The Commoner.
JULY 14, mi
I shot a rocket into the air;
It fell to earth, I know not where.
But ere it whizzed away from land
It burned a blister on my hand,
A roman candle too, I shot
The feat will not soon be forgot.
For ere it lighted up the air
It burst and singed off all my hair.
I lighted up my long punk sticks
To fire crackers for kiddies six.
And, bless their precious little souls,
I burned my shirt plumb full of holes.
It was a mighty glorious day
They'll hold in memory always.
But Dad, well Dad is here tp shout
That he's all in, and down, and out.
His face is full of powder stains;
His body full of aches and pains;
Hands full of blisters, and what's
Not one cent left within his purse.
But what's the use? Fun unalloyed
The kiddies six all day enjoyed.
And blisters, burns, and aches and
By Dad are counted as clear gains.
Hail glorious day! Here's hoping I
Will live through many a, hot July,
And from the morn till evening late
Have kiddies help mo celebrate.
literally and truly under the folds
of the old Hag.
Fifty-two years and six months
later that flag-accouched baby was
the orator at Wymore, Neb., and
living in peace and. comfort, less than
a hundred miles away, his father
and mother, hale and hearty, spent
the day their fifty-third in Nebraska.
laterally True
Native born Americans love to re
mark that they "were born under the
folds of the American flag." Every
Fourth of July orator repeats it, and
perhaps it is theoretically true. But
last Fourth of July the Architect
heard an orator who was born under
the folds of the flag, literally. In
1857 a party of Ohioans moved into
the then wilderness of Nebraska and
settled in Dodge county, along what
afterwards became the military road
between Omaha and Denver. It was
along this road that the tide of emi
gration flowed for so many years.
The .first thing this little colony of
Ohioans did after providing shelter
was to erect a tall Hagpole made from
cottonwoods that grew profusely
along the Platte river banks, and
from the top of this pole was flung
a flag sixteen feet wide and thirty
feet long. It flew day and night, and
being easily seen for many miles
from all directions it became a beacon
to the emigrants, telling of rest and
comfort and protection.
Among other members of this
colony was John Mason Smith and
his young wife. They, like their
comrades, were poor. Their sod and
log houses were cool enough in sum
mer, but rather poor protection
against the blasts of winter. And
the winter of 1857-58 was a hard
one. On the night of December 31,
157, a son was born to Mr. and Mrs.
John Mason Smith, and they called
him Roderick Cottrell. The mother
lay on a bed illy provided with cover
ing, and the wintry blasts swept over
her. It was seemingly impossible to
keep enough fire in the stove to even
take the chill off the room. What
to do with the sufferer was a' puzzle,
for bedclothing was scarce, and some
had to be left for other women and
children, some of whom were ill.
Finally Matthew Cottrell, the head of
the colony hauled down the fla'g for
the first time, and. the tender hands
of women folded it and laid H over
the bed of Mrs. Smith. An hour or
two later Roderick Cottrell was born
Queer Logic
After having spent a million in
erecting a modern office building in
the heart of the great city, Mr.
Bounderly was haled before the luna
tico inqulrendo by friends who feared
for his mental capacity.
"What makes you think Mr.
Bounderly is mentally incapacitat
ed?" queried the chairman of the
"Well, he has just completed a
'million dollar twenty-story office
building, and a few days ago an
nounced that he was ready to rent
office rooms therein. I went to look
at the rooms and found that the
building had no inside stairways, and
that while there were elevator shafts
there were no elevators. I asked Mr.
Bounderly why this was so. His
answer convinced me that he was
"What was his answer?"
"He said that as soon as there were
enough tenants to make an elevator
profitable he would grant a franchise
to some corporation to operate it,
providing further that as the need
increased the number of elevators
should be increased. He added that
the tenants could meet and establish
a maximum charge for elevator ser
vice. I knew at once that poor
Bounderly's mind had given way
under the strain of overseeing the
construction cf such a great office
After duly considering the matter
the commission decided that Boun
derly should be nut under restraint
and his property managed by a guar
dian. A few weeks later the proposition
that the city, should acquire the
ownership of Its street railway sys
tem met with the determined opposi
tion of Bounderly's friend and every
member of the commission. They
said it was preposterous.
But they had committed Bounderly
to the asylum for holding exactly the
same opinion. l
For, after all, what is the differ
ence between an elevator that runs
horizontally and one that runs per
pendicularly? Kings and Kings
King George V has just been
crowned with great pomp and cir
cumstance. Of course, to be king
of Great Britain and Ireland defender
of the faith and emperor of India, is
to be some pumpkins. But what's all
that by the side of being the only boy
in your grammaT school class who
can throw a curve? And what boy
who can Flk on his hands and throw
a back summersault for the delecta
tion of admiring young girls with
their hair in pigtails would trade
places with George V?
They make an awful fuss over this
king business, but what does- it
amount to? People hi-hurrah when
one goes by, then proceed to forget
him. But who forget the husky lad
that carries the ball across the goal
line, or slams the horsehide for a
home run when the bases are full?
The kind who can "put something
on the ball" that keep the batter
from coming within a foot of it has
got any old king backed off tho
boards for popularity in his domain.
Ho is constantly sought after by ad
miring friends and satellites, while
tho king is sought after by men who
want jobs or long for a chanco to
slip a dagger under his fifth rib.
Talk about the king business I
George V has got a mighty small
job on his hands compared with a
lot of baseball and foot ball kings in
this glorious republic of ours.
"How in tho narao of sonso could
you join in a verdict of 'not guilty
when tho prisoner's guilt was as plain
as a pikestaff?"
"Huh! That was easy. Tho pre
siding judge beat me in a real estate
deal while ho was a lawyer at the bar,
the prosecuting attorney caught mo
unawares in a legal contest and
cinched mo for coBts I did not owe
and which ho could not have collected
from tho other fellow, and five of tho
twelve good men and true In tho
jurybox have been owing mo money
for from five to eleven years and
won't pay a cent. And I didn't pro
pose to help sting a man with tho
help of a bunch of that kind."
Time's WliirlJgig
A week or two ago wo sent a special
envoy over to dear ol' Lun'on to
assist in putting a crown on a King
George. LaBt week wo celebrated
the 135th anniversary of the feat
of putting tho rollers under another
King George.
Time's whirligig cuts some pecu
liar capers, and usually averages
things up pretty well. Wo opine that
there were quite a few John Hays
Hammonds during the time of
George III.
As ono who is not at all satisfied
with the way a democratic congress
is tackling tho tariff, we confess to
some measure of satisfaction over
one thing.
The congressmen who are gigging
back on us are compelled to remain
at work In Washington. If you havo
ever been sentenced to a summer in
Washington you will realize what
this means.
Easy Timo
"Bankerly looks like a man who
has been enjoying a long vacation
and complete rest in the mountains.
I thought he was in some trouble."
"He was, and ho was sentenced to
sixty days imprisonment by a federal
judge, the imprisonment to be in a
county jail where the sheriff was his
friend. That's why he looks so
thoroughly rested and refreshed."
Mrs. Harduppe -"I see by the
evening paper that the Pacific coast
states are suffering from a famine of
silver coins."
Mr. Harduppe "It beats all what
some editors think is news. I've been
In that fix for twenty-seven years,
but I never thought it was worth
sending over the wires as a press dis
patch," i
Making His Way
"What did Schemerly accomplish
during his first term in congress?"
"He framed up a mighty good
machine to accomplish his re-election."
Same Tiling
"Judge Bunk seems to be a pretty
big man In this community."
"Well, ho has all of a big man's
ways, and that seems to amount to
about the same thing these days."
The Guaranty
State Bank,
Muskogee, Oklahoma,
offers to their customers and readers ofthUpaper
throughout tho country exceptional ritcilltlo for
handling accounts hy mull. Tho DoomJUini Guar
Aiity Fund oftho state-of Oklahoma lnuirabolut
wifely of all fund deposited with at, Wo bollovs
In tho Integrity nnd corwervatumi of our onicera,
uutyoujuro not compelled to rolyonthl. What
protection do you get from your homo bank? Write
lor booklet to-dny. Interest paid on Time Deposits
and BavIiiK Accounts.
M. O. IIASKKLL, Vice President.
M. 0. 8BLL3. Cashier.
Bars tl&W to 122.00 on
Way act buy the Wit when
Erod cut buy them t tuchlow. u.
Fhwd-of Factory ITktiT THIRTY
BUT. Out 8w Improvements bv
tuJeWMrpaMuyttilnKevet produced.
uooaierBteei our rant CATAbes mu tukvh.
Psre Ho Ke until allowed. Freo Iloolcf
JrUienrS VUIAKK VOU.KR, WMklaglM, u. a
Wsttasa Jt, Celcmmif
Palest LawyenWaflhlBKlOB,
D.C Advice and hooka frea.
Rate reasonable. Highest referoioea. JlestaervloM.
yourlnvontlon. Bond forfrae
examination offer. Mux) H.
STBVENS & CO.. Est, 1861
BOFSt, Washington; Ml Monadnock Mile. Chicago,
Free report an to Patentability JlluitraUvl hill)
Hook, and T.lct of Inventions Wanted. cntrre9.
VICTOlt J. HVANM & CO., Washington. D.C.
HARVESTER with Binder Attach,
raont cute tin .J thrown In vllon on bur.
vo.lor or wlnravr. Mnn and bursa cuta
nnd shock equal with a corn Hinder.
Hold in ovcrv etato. Prlca 1) with
Binder Attachment. H. 0. MONTCldMKllY, of Toxa
Jinn. Tox- writes: "Tho harvester ha proven nil yon
claim for It. With thnnMlstanronC ono man cut and
lonnd oyer JOO acre of Corn. Kafllr Com nnd Mnlze
Inst scar." Testimonial and catalog froo, bowing
pictures of harrcster, ir FntMi Hlg, Co 811, Kaa,
Don't Wear a Truss'
from tba painful Unit, being mads
. Mlr-aUtlr parpotciy to bold tb
ruptw la pUe wHkoat trpi,
buckle or tyrinp ttiwt slip.
3mf m eaaaot ebifo or eoaereu
axiltut Ui pelrlo boa. Tba
BOtt ebUaUee earti In tb prf
TmoToftha bone. Tbousftndj br
cnceaufiul treated taesuelre wltlioot
blndrnuM fretB work. Soft w teWrl wjt to
K. laXi I apply larxMaure. Process of euro U Bitoru,
rNJ1 I long further bh fcr tnwrt. W prot trbtt wa
eoopon fta1 SB all TO DAT. Add re .
fetaro aull will brla fn txUI YUto.
Deafness Cured
The aecret of how to use tho myster
ious and Invisible nature forces for the
cure of Deafness and Head Noises has
at lost been discovered by tho famous
Physician-Scientist, Dr. Guy Clifford
Powell. Deafness and Head Noises
disappear as if by magic under the use
of this new and wonderful discovery.
He will send all who suffer from
Deafness and Head Noises full in
formation how they may bo cured,
absolutely free, no matter how Ionnr they
havo been deaf, or what caused their
deafness. This marvelous Treatment is
so simple, natural and certain that you
will wonder why it was not discovered
before. Investigators marvel at tho
quick results. Any deaf person can
havo full information how to bo cured
quickly and cured to say cured at
home without Investing a cent. Write
today to Dr. Guy Clifford Powell, 8701
Bank Building Peoria, 111., and get full
Information of this new and wonderful
discovery, absolutely free.
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