u "ii w wun auUdj The Commoner. JULY 7, 1911 13 li WfTwiifiiiMiiS d ilfiimoao1 "Tho Old Nest" If there is a young man in America whoso parents are living and far from him, he ought to read Rupert Hughes beautiful story, "The Old Nest," in the Saturday Evening Post of June 3. It is a classic, and there are thousands of mothers and fathers whose hearts will be rejoiced be cause of the influence it will have upon thoughtless sons who have for gotten. Some of these days, young man, you will itwaken to a realization of the fact that you have missed your chance; awaken to the stunning realization that you forgot your old mother and father and let them slip away into the other world without a laBt look upon their boy. Then it will be too late, and you'll carry an ache in your heart all the rest of your life. Go and see them now. Do not delay until next month, or next year. Haven't the time! Non sense! What's business by the side of the joy you can give your old mother by rushing in on her and letting her kiss and caress her stal wart boy just as she did years ago when ho was a little lad in round abouts. The Architect's mother died just seventeen years ago. "While she was alive the Architect never missed but one Thanksgiving eating dinner with her, and he has traveled many a hundred miles just to eat that one meal. And the one he missed he made up by seeing her the next day. You'll feel mighty good, my boy, if you'll exert yourself in. the same direction. The time will come, all too soon, when you would give all you have accumulated if you could rush into the old sitting room, throw your hat in the corner and print a kiss upon lips that waited in vain many years for the son's kiss that never came. Read Rupert Hughes' story, my boy, and if it fails to touch your heaTt, then indeed are you lost to every sentiment of home an,d mother. luck. I simply wished that a red-hot foul would come through the netting and smite him on the proboscis; or, that he would strangle a bit when he uncorked a bottle of pop; or, that he'd snag his trousers on a project ing nail; or, stumble over a broken board and break something beside a' commandment. As a matter of fact I'd be almost ashamed to tell you what I did wish would happen to that fellow. If you have ever heard of a meaner man than this one, I wish you'd describe him to me and tell mo the particulars. Kismet homo. The homo product Isn't worth as much as Nebraska's egg and but ter crop by sevoral millions of dol lars. Yet under tho guiso of "pro tecting" tho American sugar raiser tho sugar consumers aro taxed about $250,000,000 a year. Sugar is re tailing at about $117 a ton. Wo could buy tho homo product and give it away, paying tho price now obtaining under protection, then throw it away, and savo $170,000,000 a year by putting sugar on tho free list. Who is tho joke on? Tho Meanest Man We've heard about the man so mean that ho would skin a flea for the hide and tallow. And about the man so mean he'd steal swill from a blind pig. . And the man so mean he'd use a wart on the back of his neck for a collar button. In fact, we've heard about all kinds of mean men, but one day last week we saw the very meanest man that ever loomed up before our eyes. Every day when there is a league game of ball in Lincoln a lot of small boys gather behind the grand stand and wait for the foul balls to come over. The boy lucky enough to grab one is admitted to the park. On the day in question the Architect waB a bit late in getting to the game i he never misses 'em when he Is In town and as he approached the ball park he heard a chorus of boyish shrieks, "There she comes!" And a foul ball came sailing over. Did one of the small boys get it? No. A great bigr hulking, beetle-browed man, with a soul so small that it would rattle around in the shell of a' mustard seed like a BB shot in a Bugar hogshead, caught the ball on the fly. A score of youngsters pleaded for it, but the big husky grinned derisively at them all, and then deliberately threw the ball back over the grandstand. Then he walked up to the gate and paid his Sray in. I didn't wish that husky any bad Thirty-five or forty years ago it was the finest swimming hole in the country. Just where the creek took a sharp turn the roots of an old syca more prevented the water from cut ting into the bank, and the resulting swirl excavated a deep hole. It was a' famous swimming place. A gnarled root of the old tree jutted'out over the water, and from it you took many a dive. My, but wasn't it fun in the old days to hike off to the creek with a bunch of cronies and swim and splash and dive in the cool water? Well, a year or so ago you went back to the old home, and one even ing you sneaked off and went down to the old swimming hole, intend ing to take another plunge in the creek, just for old time's sake. But you didn't. Instead of a broad creek you found a piddling little stream that run about enough water to keep a minnow from dying of thirst. The old sycamore had disappeared, and the old swimming hole wasn't deep enough for a hog wallow. All you could do was to stand there and let memory do its work. And after indulging in reverie for a few minutes you wiped a tear from your eye and sneaked back to town again. Maybe it is because we are not hunting for them now, but some how or other there don't seem to be any more swimming holes like the swimming holes of thirty-five or forty years ago. Scientists tell that the appendix veriformis Is merely the remains of a bodily organ that used to be worth while, but which has de generated into a nuisance because of neglect. Maybe it's the same way with swimming holes. With bath houses and bath rooms and plunges and all that sort of thing to be found in nearly every town, it would seem that the swimming holes have evo luted backwards, just like the appen dix veriformis. Favorite Fiction "What Will He Do With It?" William Lorimer. "Barriers Burned Away." John D. Rockefeller. "When a Man Marries." Reed Smoot. "The Man Without a Country." Porfirio Diaz. "A Family Affair." Eugene Hale. "In the Midst of Alarms." Wil liam H. Taf t. See Anything Funny? There is a joke concealed in this little taTiff story, which is the reason why it appears in this department. The task of the reader will be to detect the joke, then decide just whom the joke is on. This country consumes about 3, 000,000 tons of sugar a year. Of this amount 2,300,000 tons is Im ported and 700,000 tons produced at Ever Notice It? That the finest bargain sales aro always advertised just when you aro stony broke? That tho most enticing excursions are always at a tlmo when you simply can't get away? That as shoes grow higher in prico the less wear you get out of them? That every time your car is late and keeps you waiting on the cor ner, every automobile in town seems to make a point of whizzing by? That when potatoes go up to $2 a bushel every member of the family shows a decided preference for a' potato diet? AGceptthis $25 Suit VM, ran onr outfit pent rout ooea with our w most rcmorxabia essy money-m King out r, wi m r cxira ssm j)io nun ouer too. ju)swaiiureeo,ana backed by us in upare tlmo or on um, as oar reprwwnUitl v in your excluslvn territory. No money or experience necessary. No ref erencen or red tapo. Your best chanct is hero if you write a postal quick. Our offer means 5 Per day easy or $30to$50aweck Wo trust yoti absolutely. us Jtixt ahnw our JJlff Out! of Sample and Color Plate of latest beau tiful styles, hvcryining sent isrvrna rrf paid. Your friends will irrnh at this chanco to get our perfect band tailored mado-to-mcasuro Bwcllent rults, pants or overcoats. They'll savo S3 to 15. Suits W up, Biggest profit nnd confidential special In-Ido whole tPHL of C5 Wny Hpr SAMTLE SUIT Just for you. EreryUOntf In rHfcx vu Tho New Arithmetic Ten mills make one trust. Ten trusts make one tariff. Ten tariff schedules make many millionaires. Many millionaires make one senate. Two pints make one drunk. Eight drunks make one delerium tremens. Four delerium tremens make one corpse. One corpse makes a widow and a lot of orphans. salo prices to you. Kit, workman-hip nnd II 11 I r 1 I America for style, looks and wear. Undersell oil others. CtTUn till linUCV No trptrtenei or capital nttJfd. OUrlU rlU MUNCl yoa want this sure. Don't mUa It, Wo want you. Wo back ono man this way to each ter ritory. Get in quick. No risk. Wo help nnd show you. Chanco of llfo to Ret best clothes, inako most money. Keep It to yourself! Hurry postal todav Great Central Tailoring Co. JSST-at You ... .l...1 ... .. Wo. I uu K.iaii. juui itvii nui Graham. Hominy, nice. Coffee. nniccs.oic. .im cracit c-rain tor nouury. uoiier man a miner u you iiaTouiismm. vou b3.wj Freight rrcpaia. urinus easy anu quicic last a luutlmo. M A Black Hawk Grist Mill Write for rVefi Hook. Agents wanted. A. II. PATCH, (Ine.) ClurksvIK, Tnn. AlMBikMllUcklUvX CorafihtUm. The Proof "Rastus, you are charged with be ing vagrant." "What does you-all mean by vag rant, youah honah?" "It means that you have no visible means of support." "How-cum you all kin say dat I ain't got no visbul means o' suppo't, youah honah? Why dat ol' woman o mine weighs nigh free hun'red poun's, youah honah." Tho Usual Way "Did Senator Graball make a good address tonight?" queried the city editor. "He'll think he did when he reads my report of it In the morning paper," twittered the bright young reporter who had caught the assignment. The Result He established a newspaper in a small town already boasting three newspapers. He said he did it "to fill a long felt want." The result was that he has felt a long wanted fill ever since. Dramatical "Is Grinderly's new play a comedy or a tragedy?" "All I know about it is that it will be mighty funny if it is accepted." Ever Notice It? The "hornyhanded son of toil" Who has to till tho fertile soil, Depends on Nature's smile frown. But when his day of toil is done He fills his pockets full of "mon And drives his auto into town. or i The city man who toils away Within four walls from day to day, May seem to have it best by far. But when his day of toil is o'er With aching head and tired eyes sore He walks or takes the trolley car. rflr tt la tho beat policy holder's com pany in tho United States. ASSETS, $4,400,000 Twenty-flvo years old. Write The Old Line Bankers Life IJucoIa, Nebraska Missouri and Arkansas have had their Joko books and now It Is Ken tucky's turn, so Samuol D. Osborn has written "The Dark aud Moody Ground." a history of Kentucky, guaranteed to make you laugh, whether you want to or not. You can get a copy by sending 10c in Btamps or sample pages by send ing 2c stamp to GRIST BOOK COMPANY, Grlxt, Kentucky. fSIUCEUft in easily grown, worth rf 7 UinOCnil por pound. 1100 worth $ I can bo grown on ono squaro rod. This Ih no gct-rlch-qulck. echemo but a legitimate Industry of which you would bo proud. Let mo show you what others aro doing. JtooUi mid seed for sale. WrJlo today for frco book and Information. Address T.J. Stout, 083, Edinburg, ind PATENTS WatsoB 13. Coleman, Patent .Lawyer, Washington, JJ.C Advice and books free. Bates reasonable. Highest references. Beat services. FAULTY METABOLISM AS A COMMON CAUSE OF DISEASE, is the subject dbcutied in Bulletin No. 1 of the Sliifer Pathological Laboratory. The Bulletin is sent free on request and will prove later eidnjr to everyone in Pain and Poor Health. Address: John F. Shafer, M.D. 214 pens Ave., Pittsburg, Pa. The Guaranty State Bank, Muskogee, Oklahoma, offers to tholr customers and readers of this paper throughout tho country exceptional facilities for handling accounts by mall. Tho Depositors Guar anty Fund of the state ofOklahornn Insures absolute safety of all funds deposited with us. Wo bellovo In tho integrity aud conservatism of our oalcers, but you are not compelled to rely on this. What protection do you get from your home bank? Wrlto for booklet to-day. Interest paid on Tlmo Deposits and Savings Accounts. M. O. HAEKELL, VIco Presldont. M. O. SELLS. Cahlcrs. i m St 11 al W II I TO m cL mi&mit !'-;. iiMM&4k&&M jssAi'sisiffifirMi.f itmaarirti' r-