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The Commoner.
JULY 7, 1911
13
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"Tho Old Nest"
If there is a young man in America
whoso parents are living and far
from him, he ought to read Rupert
Hughes beautiful story, "The Old
Nest," in the Saturday Evening Post
of June 3. It is a classic, and there
are thousands of mothers and fathers
whose hearts will be rejoiced be
cause of the influence it will have
upon thoughtless sons who have for
gotten. Some of these days, young man,
you will itwaken to a realization of
the fact that you have missed your
chance; awaken to the stunning
realization that you forgot your old
mother and father and let them slip
away into the other world without
a laBt look upon their boy. Then it
will be too late, and you'll carry an
ache in your heart all the rest of
your life. Go and see them now.
Do not delay until next month, or
next year. Haven't the time! Non
sense! What's business by the side
of the joy you can give your old
mother by rushing in on her and
letting her kiss and caress her stal
wart boy just as she did years ago
when ho was a little lad in round
abouts. The Architect's mother died just
seventeen years ago. "While she was
alive the Architect never missed but
one Thanksgiving eating dinner
with her, and he has traveled many a
hundred miles just to eat that one
meal. And the one he missed he
made up by seeing her the next day.
You'll feel mighty good, my boy, if
you'll exert yourself in. the same
direction. The time will come, all
too soon, when you would give all
you have accumulated if you could
rush into the old sitting room, throw
your hat in the corner and print a
kiss upon lips that waited in vain
many years for the son's kiss that
never came. Read Rupert Hughes'
story, my boy, and if it fails to touch
your heaTt, then indeed are you lost
to every sentiment of home an,d
mother.
luck. I simply wished that a red-hot
foul would come through the netting
and smite him on the proboscis; or,
that he would strangle a bit when
he uncorked a bottle of pop; or, that
he'd snag his trousers on a project
ing nail; or, stumble over a broken
board and break something beside
a' commandment. As a matter of
fact I'd be almost ashamed to tell
you what I did wish would happen
to that fellow.
If you have ever heard of a
meaner man than this one, I wish
you'd describe him to me and tell
mo the particulars.
Kismet
homo. The homo product Isn't worth
as much as Nebraska's egg and but
ter crop by sevoral millions of dol
lars. Yet under tho guiso of "pro
tecting" tho American sugar raiser
tho sugar consumers aro taxed about
$250,000,000 a year. Sugar is re
tailing at about $117 a ton. Wo could
buy tho homo product and give it
away, paying tho price now obtaining
under protection, then throw it away,
and savo $170,000,000 a year by
putting sugar on tho free list.
Who is tho joke on?
Tho Meanest Man
We've heard about the man so
mean that ho would skin a flea for
the hide and tallow. And about the
man so mean he'd steal swill from
a blind pig. . And the man so mean
he'd use a wart on the back of his
neck for a collar button. In fact,
we've heard about all kinds of mean
men, but one day last week we saw
the very meanest man that ever
loomed up before our eyes.
Every day when there is a league
game of ball in Lincoln a lot of
small boys gather behind the grand
stand and wait for the foul balls to
come over. The boy lucky enough
to grab one is admitted to the park.
On the day in question the Architect
waB a bit late in getting to the game
i he never misses 'em when he Is In
town and as he approached the ball
park he heard a chorus of boyish
shrieks, "There she comes!" And a
foul ball came sailing over. Did one
of the small boys get it? No. A
great bigr hulking, beetle-browed
man, with a soul so small that it
would rattle around in the shell of a'
mustard seed like a BB shot in a
Bugar hogshead, caught the ball on
the fly. A score of youngsters
pleaded for it, but the big husky
grinned derisively at them all, and
then deliberately threw the ball back
over the grandstand. Then he
walked up to the gate and paid his
Sray in.
I didn't wish that husky any bad
Thirty-five or forty years ago it
was the finest swimming hole in the
country. Just where the creek took
a sharp turn the roots of an old syca
more prevented the water from cut
ting into the bank, and the resulting
swirl excavated a deep hole. It was
a' famous swimming place. A gnarled
root of the old tree jutted'out over
the water, and from it you took many
a dive. My, but wasn't it fun in the
old days to hike off to the creek with
a bunch of cronies and swim and
splash and dive in the cool water?
Well, a year or so ago you went
back to the old home, and one even
ing you sneaked off and went down
to the old swimming hole, intend
ing to take another plunge in the
creek, just for old time's sake. But
you didn't. Instead of a broad creek
you found a piddling little stream
that run about enough water to keep
a minnow from dying of thirst. The
old sycamore had disappeared, and
the old swimming hole wasn't deep
enough for a hog wallow.
All you could do was to stand
there and let memory do its work.
And after indulging in reverie for
a few minutes you wiped a tear from
your eye and sneaked back to town
again. Maybe it is because we are
not hunting for them now, but some
how or other there don't seem to
be any more swimming holes like
the swimming holes of thirty-five or
forty years ago. Scientists tell that
the appendix veriformis Is merely the
remains of a bodily organ that used
to be worth while, but which has de
generated into a nuisance because of
neglect. Maybe it's the same way
with swimming holes. With bath
houses and bath rooms and plunges
and all that sort of thing to be found
in nearly every town, it would seem
that the swimming holes have evo
luted backwards, just like the appen
dix veriformis.
Favorite Fiction
"What Will He Do With It?"
William Lorimer.
"Barriers Burned Away." John
D. Rockefeller.
"When a Man Marries." Reed
Smoot.
"The Man Without a Country."
Porfirio Diaz.
"A Family Affair." Eugene Hale.
"In the Midst of Alarms." Wil
liam H. Taf t.
See Anything Funny?
There is a joke concealed in this
little taTiff story, which is the reason
why it appears in this department.
The task of the reader will be to
detect the joke, then decide just
whom the joke is on.
This country consumes about 3,
000,000 tons of sugar a year. Of
this amount 2,300,000 tons is Im
ported and 700,000 tons produced at
Ever Notice It?
That the finest bargain sales aro
always advertised just when you aro
stony broke?
That tho most enticing excursions
are always at a tlmo when you
simply can't get away?
That as shoes grow higher in prico
the less wear you get out of them?
That every time your car is late
and keeps you waiting on the cor
ner, every automobile in town seems
to make a point of whizzing by?
That when potatoes go up to $2 a
bushel every member of the family
shows a decided preference for a'
potato diet?
AGceptthis $25 Suit
VM, ran onr outfit pent rout ooea
with our w most rcmorxabia essy
money-m King out r, wi m r cxira ssm
j)io nun ouer too. ju)swaiiureeo,ana
backed by us in upare tlmo or on um,
as oar reprwwnUitl v in your excluslvn
territory. No money or experience
necessary. No ref erencen or red tapo.
Your best chanct is hero if you write a
postal quick. Our offer means
5
Per day easy or
$30to$50aweck
Wo trust yoti absolutely.
us
Jtixt ahnw our JJlff Out!
of Sample and Color Plate of latest beau
tiful styles, hvcryining sent isrvrna rrf
paid. Your friends will irrnh at this chanco
to get our perfect band tailored mado-to-mcasuro
Bwcllent rults, pants or overcoats.
They'll savo S3 to 15. Suits W up, Biggest
profit nnd confidential special In-Ido whole
tPHL of
C5 Wny
Hpr
SAMTLE SUIT
Just for you.
EreryUOntf In
rHfcx vu
Tho New Arithmetic
Ten mills make one trust.
Ten trusts make one tariff.
Ten tariff schedules make many
millionaires.
Many millionaires make one senate.
Two pints make one drunk.
Eight drunks make one delerium
tremens.
Four delerium tremens make one
corpse.
One corpse makes a widow and
a lot of orphans.
salo prices to you. Kit, workman-hip nnd II 11 I r 1 I
America for style, looks and wear. Undersell oil others.
CtTUn till linUCV No trptrtenei or capital nttJfd.
OUrlU rlU MUNCl yoa want this sure. Don't mUa
It, Wo want you. Wo back ono man this way to each ter
ritory. Get in quick. No risk. Wo help nnd show you.
Chanco of llfo to Ret best clothes, inako most money.
Keep It to yourself! Hurry postal todav
Great Central Tailoring Co. JSST-at
You
... .l...1 ... .. Wo. I
uu K.iaii. juui itvii nui
Graham. Hominy, nice. Coffee.
nniccs.oic. .im cracit c-rain tor
nouury. uoiier man a miner u
you iiaTouiismm. vou b3.wj Freight
rrcpaia. urinus easy
anu quicic last
a luutlmo.
M A
Black Hawk
Grist Mill
Write for rVefi Hook.
Agents wanted.
A. II. PATCH, (Ine.)
ClurksvIK, Tnn.
AlMBikMllUcklUvX
CorafihtUm.
The Proof
"Rastus, you are charged with be
ing vagrant."
"What does you-all mean by vag
rant, youah honah?"
"It means that you have no visible
means of support."
"How-cum you all kin say dat I
ain't got no visbul means o' suppo't,
youah honah? Why dat ol' woman o
mine weighs nigh free hun'red
poun's, youah honah."
Tho Usual Way
"Did Senator Graball make a good
address tonight?" queried the city
editor.
"He'll think he did when he reads
my report of it In the morning
paper," twittered the bright young
reporter who had caught the assignment.
The Result
He established a newspaper in a
small town already boasting three
newspapers. He said he did it "to
fill a long felt want."
The result was that he has felt a
long wanted fill ever since.
Dramatical
"Is Grinderly's new play a comedy
or a tragedy?"
"All I know about it is that it
will be mighty funny if it is accepted."
Ever Notice It?
The "hornyhanded son of toil"
Who has to till tho fertile soil,
Depends on Nature's smile
frown.
But when his day of toil is done
He fills his pockets full of "mon
And drives his auto into town.
or
i
The city man who toils away
Within four walls from day to day,
May seem to have it best by far.
But when his day of toil is o'er
With aching head and tired eyes sore
He walks or takes the trolley car.
rflr
tt la tho beat policy holder's com
pany in tho United States.
ASSETS, $4,400,000
Twenty-flvo years old. Write
The Old Line Bankers Life
IJucoIa, Nebraska
Missouri and Arkansas have had
their Joko books and now It Is Ken
tucky's turn, so Samuol D. Osborn has
written "The Dark aud Moody Ground."
a history of Kentucky, guaranteed to
make you laugh, whether you want to
or not. You can get a copy by sending
10c in Btamps or sample pages by send
ing 2c stamp to
GRIST BOOK COMPANY,
Grlxt, Kentucky.
fSIUCEUft in easily grown, worth rf 7
UinOCnil por pound. 1100 worth $ I
can bo grown on ono squaro rod. This Ih no gct-rlch-qulck.
echemo but a legitimate Industry of
which you would bo proud. Let mo show you
what others aro doing. JtooUi mid seed for sale.
WrJlo today for frco book and Information. Address
T.J. Stout, 083, Edinburg, ind
PATENTS
WatsoB 13. Coleman,
Patent .Lawyer, Washington,
JJ.C Advice and books free.
Bates reasonable. Highest references. Beat services.
FAULTY METABOLISM
AS A COMMON CAUSE OF DISEASE,
is the subject dbcutied in Bulletin
No. 1 of the Sliifer Pathological
Laboratory. The Bulletin is sent
free on request and will prove later
eidnjr to everyone in Pain and
Poor Health.
Address: John F. Shafer, M.D.
214 pens Ave., Pittsburg, Pa.
The Guaranty
State Bank,
Muskogee, Oklahoma,
offers to tholr customers and readers of this paper
throughout tho country exceptional facilities for
handling accounts by mall. Tho Depositors Guar
anty Fund of the state ofOklahornn Insures absolute
safety of all funds deposited with us. Wo bellovo
In tho integrity aud conservatism of our oalcers,
but you are not compelled to rely on this. What
protection do you get from your home bank? Wrlto
for booklet to-day. Interest paid on Tlmo Deposits
and Savings Accounts.
M. O. HAEKELL, VIco Presldont.
M. O. SELLS. Cahlcrs.
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