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JUNE 16, 1911
The Commoner.
13
krmmoaor(ot
Tho Fan
I want to get out on the bleachers,
Unmindful of withering heat,
Along with my wild fellow creatures
Who there on equality meet.
I want to set my voice a roaring,
And shriek at His Umps till I'm
hoarse;
I want to dance juba when scoring
A man on tho home team, of
course.
I want to fill lungs, full of weathor,
And eyes full of cloud and of sky;
A hint of the woodland and heather
Out there where the wide stretches
' lie.
My brain is a cobwebby attic;
It's grimed with the dust of the
years;
My limbs have grown weak and rheu
matic I long for the pastime that cheers.
I want to see Ty Cobb or "Matty."
I yearn for His Umps strident call.
To get on the bleachers I'm batty;
I've just'got to see 'em play ball!
I want to get out on the bleachers
And sit with the genuine fans;
To take a full part with the screech
ers. Unmindful of hot sun that tans.
I want to sit sans coat and collar
And munch on the goobers, and
yell;
I want to stand straight up and
holler
When the home team's batting like
well,
You know how you feel when the
batter
Leans up 'gainst the leather ker
. flop!
And then, midst the noise and the
clatter,
Scoot safely to second and stop.
I want to pump air in my bellows
And get some more blood rich and
red;
Rub elbows with jolly good fellows
And get the moss out of my head.
I want to yell "robber!" and
"rotten!"
And whoop as I did when a boy;
The cares of my business forgotten
Out there at the ball game O,
joyl
Here, give me a big sheet of paper,
My pen and a bottle of ink!
I'll show you the real proper caper
.I'll stay here and toil, I don't
think!
There, let this neat sign be adorning
The front of the old office door:
A GREAT AUNT DIED
EARLY THIS MORNING.
THE FUNERAL THIS P.
M. AT FOUR.
playing ball, and you thought to
yourself something like this:
"Huh! I used to bo some ball
player, and I'll bet I could get right
out there on the diamond and per
form stunts that would make Lajoie
or Cobb or Wagner go some to beat."
You felt just that way, and bo you
were foolish enough to try it.
The first time you swung at the
ball you dislocated seven ribs and
threw your shoulder out of place
seemingly. And the first time you
stooped over to scoop up a hot
grounder you missed it by a foot be
cause your spine kinked just as you
got half-way down. And when you
tried to line the ball to the plate to
nab a runner you jarred your whole
internal economy loose. The next
' day your body felt like it had been
jabbed full 6f pitchforks. What?
Twenty years ago you could score
at tho scratch and start with the
pistol, and make a hundred yards in
11 seconds flat, breasting the tape
with your respiration fairly good.
The other day you had to chase a
street car about half a block, and
when you boarded it your breathing
could be heard a hundred yards and
your heart hammered like tho big
forgo drop in the machine shop in
the railway yards.
You may lose your health, and
then regain it. You may lose your
job, and get a1 better one. You may
lose your money, and make some
more. But the greatest asset in life
youth is owned but once, and
then only for a time. But if you
work it right you can keep your
heart young. The youngest man in
Lincoln came here more than forty
years ago and helped to survey the
townsite. Young because his heart
is light; his face is always wearing
a smile, and he has a cheery word
for all he meets. And another man
in Lincoln, who wasn't born until a
decade after the first man mentioned
came to Lincoln, is old and worn out.
He had chased dollars until he thinks
in terms of cent per cent, and he is
afraid to smile lest some one think
him an easy mark and ask him for
money.
Just Thoughts
Of course you think you are "just
as good" as you were twenty or
twenty-five years ago, Mr. Grayhead.
You aTe better In many ways, but
in the one matter of physical sup
pleness you've lost something. You
feel as if you could turn a hand
spring just as easy as when you were
twenty, or leap a five-board fence by
touching one hand to the top board.
If you want to keep on thinking so,
don't try it.
Tho other day you happened along
by a vacant lot where some boys were
The other day I happened along
where some small boys were attempt
ing to play ball with about the
poorest imitation of a ball I ever
saw. It was old and soft and cover
less. An elderly gentleman hap
pened along and stopped the ball as
it performed a long foul In his direc
tion. He looked at It a moment be
fore tossing it back and then walked
up to the diamond.
"My, my, boys; that's a mighty
poor ball to play with."
"It's the best we can get sir," re
plied one of the lads.
"Well, if I should dig up, say a
half a dollar, do you think you could
get a better one?"
About a dozen and half of
youngsters opined that they could,
and their opinion was very emphatic.
Whereupon the elderly gentleman
produced the half-dollar and said it
was ready as soon as a committee
was appointed to make the purchase.
Two of tho boys were speedily se
lected, and in ten minutes they re
turned with a ball.
"Gee, that's a dandy!" gasped each
eager urchin as he took a look at it.
Then the game proceeded, and
when I hurried to catch a car for
down town the elderly gentleman
wan watching tho gamo with delight
and yelling excitedly at every good
play.
I judge that this elderly gentle
man had experienced something liko
sixty or sixty-five winters, judging
by tho frost on hia hair. But his
heaTt hadn't kopt pace with his years.
Ho will always be young, because he
has kept his heart young, and I
warrant you ho got moro fun out of
that 50 cent investment than a lot of
men could get out of an automobile,
or a fishing trip to tho lakes.
Speaking of tho Fourth
Just now wo are inclined to look
with favor upon tho campaign for a
"noiseless Fourth of July." We will
continue in that frame of mind until
about 5:30 a. m., on Independence
Pay. Then wo will probably wake
up, roll over, and discover a' young
gentleman about five years old, and
a young lady slightly younger,
perched upon the side of tho bed and
looking like about seventeen bunches
of firecrackers, eleven bags of torpe
does, thirty pinwheels, two dozen
"nigger chasers" and a couplo of
paper cap pistols. The chances aro
that about two minutes later we'll
bo ready to join them in lynching
any and all advocates of a "noise
less Fourth."
Personally I have never, so far as
I remember, met any advocates of a
"noiseless Fourth." I havo only
read about them. And the mental
portraits I havo drawn of them are
not flattering. In my opinion the
advocates of that sort of celebration
of our nation's natal day ate quite
sure to bo old, inclined to bo
grouchy, nervous because of too high
living, penurious, lacking in patriot
ism, pessimistic, fault-finders and
lacking in memory of youth long
past. Tho "noiseless Fourth" is a
good thing to write about when there
is a lot of space that must bo filled,
but in actual practice it don't look
good to me.
You Can Buy a 5 Acre
Orange Center Farm
In tho llenrt of Florida for Only 81S, S
Cnili, 80 Mo u till jr. No Intercut, No Tuxas,
No clinrgoii oTnny klml. Itcmi enrn 8v,ro
to $3,otH j)or your as lone hm you live.
I will gladly send you incontrover
tible proof of UiuHo statomentn. Our
land Is hlph lying1, no uwumps or
marshes, railroad runs directly through
It, no farm being moro than thruo
miles from It. Not far from a. modern
town of 7,000 population and closo
to another of 4,000; good hard roads,
plenty or puro drinking water at a
depth of 20 feet; artesian water and
(lowing wells at 7G to 200 foot; nouds
but little clearing; CO Inches of rain
fall; (Inest climato In tho world both
winter and summer; no mosquitoes;
hoalthicst location; plenty of schools
and churches: deslrablo neighbors; lino
hunting and Hulling; perfect title, war
ranty deed; abstract of title, tlmo for
payments extended if sick or out of
employment. Florida State Agricul
tural Department gives tho following
census reports of tho actual results
secured by growers In our country;
lettuce. 954 per acre; celery, $1,92G;
cucumbers, $511: English peas, $137;
beans, $331; and you can grow from
thrco to four crops per year on tho
same land. Our county is tho largest
fruit producing county In tho stutc.
Oranges yield $800 per acre; grapo
fruit, $800; strawberries, $800; peaches,
$400; pears, $300. I havo prepared a
handsome 32-page booklet containing
dozens of photographs of fruit and
vcgotablo farms in our vicinity and
containing all tho information you
wish concerning this favored region.
It also contains hundreds of letters
from men from every part of tho
United States who have purchased
farms here from us and who aro moro
enthusiastic In their praise of our land
than wo are. I will send It to you
freo of chargo If you will write for
It today. Don't delay, but send your
name and address today.
WILLIS R. MUNGIDR, president, Mun
gcr Land Company G27 Francis St,
St. Joseph, Mo.
Puzzling
A far-away friend, understanding
that the Architect of this department
is an advocate of woman's suffrage,
wants to know how the Architect
would explain the political rotten
ness in Colorado, where tho women
vote.
The Architect doesn't attempt to
explain. He merely points to the
fact that in Ohio and Illinois, whoro
the women do not vote, political cor
ruption is equal to that in Colorado.
We do not advocate equal suffrage
because we believe it would put an
end to political corruption, for wo
know better. "Wo advocate it as an
economical measure. FIvo million
American women aro wage earners,
and they are compelled to compete
in the industrial field under laws
which they have no part in making.
And wo advocate it as a matter of
gallantry. Wo want It understood
right here that we object to having
our wife, and our mother-in-law
classed with idiots, insane, Chineso
and convicts.
You
A OTftl.1 WAtIN .IM... lfil.1
Graham. Jlomlnr. ltlco. Cofreo.
oiucou. cic ,nu ctock cram lor
poultry, iioucr man a miner lr
you Ijavotlilf mill. CoitaC3.00 Freight
rrcpam. unnus cany
AJ1U flUICK. las 9
a llffitltnn. I V 1Z2F
Black Hawk
Grist Mill
Write for Fno Uoolc
Agent wanted.
A. H. PATCH, (Inc.)
Clarkavtlle, Tenn.
UMBUkM UlMk IUwH
CcraBbillm.
rT
Satisfied
"Why don'-t you compel that news
paper to cease lying about you?" wo
asked of Senator Graball.
"My friend," remarked tho sena
tor, that paper is doing me a real
service."
Naturally wo asked an explanation.
"Why," said the senator, "as long
as that newspaper exhausts its ener
gies in concocting lies about me, I
am in no danger of having it begin
telling the truth."
After pondering over it for a mo
ment we jotted it down In our note
book devoted to hints on political
strategy.
E4l
J2W
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The Guaranty
State Bank,
Muskogee, Oklahoma,
offers to their customers and readers of this paper
throughout the country exceptional facilities Tor
handling accounts by mall. Tho Depositors Guar
anty Fund of tho state of Oklahoma Insures absolute
safety of all funds deposited with us. Wo bellevo
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snd Savings Accounts.
IT. O. HA8KKLL, VJco President.
1L a SELLS, Cashier.
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