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The Commoner.
13
'APRIL 28, 1911
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God Bless Him!
Here's to tlie man who smiles on you
And gives you a cheery "howdy-do;"
And falls in step when you're walk
ing lame .
From the bruises met in the world's
rough game;
The man- who gives your hand a
grasp
That makes old trouble fairly gasp;
Who says "hello!" and "howdy-do!"
And makes the world grow bright for
you.
Here's to the man you chance to
meet
In busy mart or the crowded street,
When you are fairly down and out
And lost in more of deepest doubt;
Who slaps your back and cries
"hello!"
With face alight with friendship's
glow;
Who says "hello!" and 'ihowdy-do!"
And makes life take a brighter .hue.
Here's to the man of big, brave heart
Who dares from the crowd to Btep
apart
And lend a hand to the man who fell
To the very brink of the lowest hell;
Who says, "Hello! what cheer, old
scout?"
And helps him up to the right-about.
Who says "hello!" and "howdy-do!"
And starts him off on the way anew.
Here's to the man unknown to fame
Who loves all men and playb the
game
Of this life square, ,and scorns to
make
A profit big from a friend's mistake;
Whose oyea light up when he comes
. your way
And passes a pleasant time o' day;
Who says "hello!" and "howdy-do!"
And smiles, and gives new strength
to -you.
got the
heads.
worms ready
J. P. B.
r
for the bull-
pre-
beforo
Eccentricities of the Great
George Washington always
ferred to eat his breakfast
taking dinner.
Thomas Jefferson always tied his
own neckties when he was unable to
secure one ready made.
When General Grant smoked a
cigar he always insisted upon having
omo made out of tobacco.
Nicholas Biddle, the great banker,
always insisted that a borrowor sign
the noto with his own hand.
When Dick Turpin's hand was not
in his own pocket he preferred to
have it in some one else's pocket.
The emperor of all tho Russians is
so careful of his diet that he always
insists upon having each separate
dish tested by some one he can well
spare before ho partakes of it.
Before allowing a magazine to ac
cept his manuscript Theodore Roose;
velt always insists upon seeing tne
type foundry's invoice for a new lot
of cap "I's."
worms, and tho gnrdner remembers
that only last week ho was overhaul
ing his tacklobox and putting a little
oil on his reels.
Tho sun shines brighter than over,
and thero is an added warmth to tho
breeze from tho south.
Every spadeful of dirt turned re
veals moro flBhworius nico, big
worms, and tho gardener remembers
tito of tho most fastidious bullhead
or perch.
And tho man poor man just has
to keep right on making garden.
As remarked at tho begining of
this pitiful little story of real life:
"Isn't It awful!"
1 J f Cheap nm Wood.
LwnwFarmFno.JieHUrot
lonir.AtmtinufaQturerf prices, n-
itaol Free. WrltefoHt today.
W!Manfatarol
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wtQM, Ourcataloa:
W-TO-&ATE MfG. CO. 080 XKa SU, Terra Ht, MU
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Those Wool Socks
Cashiers, N. C, April 14. To the
Architect: Come to Cashiers and
you will see many grandmothers knit
ting yarn stockings and some who
have not becomd entitled to that ap
pellation. Jennie A. S.
Called!
"Yes, it has been discovered," he
remarked as they emerged from the
opera house, "that ice cream is dan
gerous, owing to the fact that it con
tains many harmful bacilli and is
the lurking place of germs inimical
to health. It also contains certain
toxic elements that superinduce in
somnia, epilepsy, hypochondria, te
tanus and gastritis. Also" that it
depletes the flow of gastric juices and
renders the system less able to throw
off depressing influences. As a whole
Ice cream may be classed among the
deadly elements that we foolish
humans have "
"O, Chawley!" exclaimed tho
young lady; "how fortunate we are!
There is an ice cream parlor right
under a physician's office!"
Tho Call of the Wild
.Moorland, la., April 21. Dear
Bill: Last summer you were talk
ing about your first circus the Yan
kee Robinson show. The oUier. day
I saw its advertising car go through
hero and I thought of you. It's my
opinion it was bound for Fort Dodge.
If so, when I learn the date I'll let
you know and you slip over here, and
by heck, we'll both take it in. I've
WILL M. MAUPIN'S
"BRAIN LEAKS"
POSTAL CARDS
W W Two Colors. Tem
.TeH CcHts, stamps
silver, postage prepaid. Address,
WILL M. MAUPIN,
MNCOIiN, NKBf
for
or
Chula Vista, Cal., April ll.To
the Architect: Greeting from Ne
braskans off on a vacation! We
have long entertained a friendly feel
ing for the Architect, though not
personally acquainted, and our sym
pathy was with him in his recent be
reavement. For many years our
home was near Falls City and we
often heard Elder Maupin mentioned,
though we never happened to hear
him preach. We began taking The
Commoner with Its first issue, and
of course it" follows us here. The
issue of April 7 is before me and is
responsible for this effort. Now,
honestly, how far would you go to
see an old-fashioned grandmother
knittingapairof wool socks? It would
be quite a trip to southern California,
where we are spending a year, and
the "gude mon" finds the heavy
socks non-essentials Jn this climate,
but if you will visit us in our home
in McCook, Neb,, next winter, I
promise you tho pleasure of seeing
the knitter as well as the wearer of
the heavy foot covering. That would
be a short trip and we shall expect
you. Our boy, who is a student in
tho University of Nebraska law
school, would be delighted, I am
sure, to meet you and corroborate
this sock story. Mrs. J. W. J.
P. S. That old man you were
looking for some time ago, the one
who parts his hair behind and combs
it forward in front of his ears, al
ways sits in the front seat of the
church we attend here. J.
Isn't It Awful?
Awful, isn't it? A man shucks
his coat and goes out into tho gar
den, determined to spade up a radish
bed and plant a couple of rows of
corn. The sun is shining brightly,
and a warm breeze is blowing from
the south. The first thing he knows
he is humming:
"Wind in the south
Blpw tho bait
In the fishes' mouth."
And just then the spade turns up
a" dozen big, fat, wriggling flsh-
His Earnest Friends
- "And what about tho intimation
that thero was money used in your
election?"
"Ah, that is a painful subject to
mo," replied Senator Graball. "It
seems that during my many years of
herculean effort to bo of service to
my people I have made many warm
friends who were so enthusiastic in
my behalf that they overstepped tho
bourids of propriety."
"Realizing that a man who could
put it in that language was also able
to bamboozle tho average jury, we
deemed it unnecessary to pursue the
subject further."
LOW PRICES KJEr- FENCE
THE WARD rCHOC CO., Bex 083 Diutor, tad.
ft , T.Trw-R nAiB tiikm: without
1J.JV JUK7 MILK. IlooldGt I'reo.
Nebraska Scod Co., Omaha, Neb
PATENTS
Watiei TJ. Cfttemnn,
l'alcat lwyer,WtuittnKtonf
D.C. Advice and books free.
lUUm rMwouHble. Highest reference. Ucatncrvlo.
unable to
And' here
Reminders
"I thought you were
eat anything, old . man.
you are just eating away for dear
life."
"Yes, got to do it."
"But don't It Injure you?"
"Sure."
"Then why do you do it?"
"Doctor gave me some medicine
for my stomach trouble" and told me
to take a big dose after each meal.
Got to eat the meal so I can take the
medicine."
Close
"Jus missed "having a. million dol
lars." "How close?"
"Asked Miss Bullion to marry mo,
and she studied for ten minutes be
fore she turned me down."
Brains Ieuks
Some people use tho clock to kill
time by, not to measure time by.
The good things of life are not
plucked from trees rooted in evil.
How many souls have been saved
by a salaried quartet in the choir
loft?
Don't it just beat all how a little
woman can make a big man toe tho
mark?
.-Drowning men grasp at straws.
But more straws are grasped by
thirsty men..
A gossiping woman is tho German
carp of the human tribe, a gossiping
man tho garfish.
God does not require that you do
a great deal, but He does require
that you do all you can.
A lot of people argue so long and
loud about hell that they forget all
aboujt striving for heaven.
Barking dogs never bite, the
trouble being that no one knows just
when they will quit barking.
A lot of men of big pretense are
so narrow that the minute you open
their front door you are in the back
yard.
The man who first said that there
is a sucker born every minute lived
in a day when the birth rate was
much lower than now.
"Wo know some men who are so
hardheaded that an augur bored in
for four inches would bring nothing
to the surface but bono shavings. 4
A lot of men reach home wearied
almost to death by eight hours'
work and grumble because the wife
who has forked eleven hours doesn't
have supper ready before he gets his
coat off.
Slightly Used and Rebuilt machines
flke new. Price one-quarter to on
half manufacturers, sold or Ranted.
Rant applied. Shipped on approval
anywhere. Ak for large bargain titt
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