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Commoner.
APRIL 21, 1911
13
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Tho Truant
I want to get out in the open,
Out with the birds and the trees;
Through cool, shady nooks, by
babbling brooks,
Out in the spring's balmy breeze.
I want to play truant and wander
Away from my office and books;,
'Neath blue of the sky and sun shin
ing high,
Through thicket and flower-laden
nooks.
I want'to forget care and worry,
Tho heat o the world's busy fray;
Away from the mart and back to
the heart
Of nature, if but for a day.
I want to just loll and lazy
"With never a doubt nor a care;
A boy once again, o'er moorland
and fen,
As free and as wild as the air.
I'm weary of straining and striving
Amidst all the money-mad throng;
Of sham and of show, of want and
of woo,
Of all the grim cohorts of, wrong.
I want to- get out in the open, - -.
Away from the grim market place;
A day of. release, of joy and of peacey
' Afar from the world's frenzied
race.
I'm going there's nothing can stop
me!
I'm master of self for a day.
Each duty I'll shirk tomorrow I'll
work,
Today have I chosen to play. .
In :yatnj nyill they seek -who are look
ing' "
For .me at my daily employ; .
I'm off for the day, I'm out and
away,
As free as a barefooted boy.
a big crowd, full of enthusiasm and
ready to be entertained. He pro
ceeded to make a tariff speech of
which he felt very proud. After the
speech the chairman of tho meeting
escorted him to the depot to take a
late train. The chairman had im
bibed freely of other things than
taTiff argument, and was feeling in
a complimentary mood.
utiwu, iuui who uuuut luu ucab
tariff speech I ever heard," said the
chairman.
"Thank you," replied the gratified
young speaker.
' "Yes, sir; that was the all-flredest
best tariff speech I ever heerd in my
whole life, Jawn. You sure made
that tariff mighty plain, Jawn."
"I'm certainly glad to hear you
say that," replied the young orator.
"Yes, sir-ee, Jawn. You made
f that thera tariff as plain as could be.
Dog-gone it, Jawn I believe you
made that tariff plainer than it really
Is."
Unsuccessful
Taking advantage of the absence
of the editor-in-chief and proprietor,
who Is down east somewhere, we
venture to tell this one:
A couple of years ago the Archi
tect piloted a little company of
friends out to Fairview and were
warmly greeted by the gentleman
who presides over the place when he
Is at home. The host showed the
little party around the farm, and
proudly pointed out his cattle, his
horses, his hogs, his chickens and
his several breeds of pigeons. A
little later, while sitting out on the
lawn, the Architect remarked:
"It strikes me, Mr. Bryan, that
a man- who has so many different
birds and beasts, and is proud of
them all, ought to have at least a
few Belgians."
Removing his comfortable old
slouch hat the host ran a reminiscent
hand over his head and dryly re
plied: . .
"I'm not successful at raising
hairs of any kind."
Making It Plain
few years ago, when Senator
John W. Kern, of Indiana, was some
what younger than he is now, the
tariff was discussed quite as much
as it is today, and Senator Kern
than a young lawyer, and even then
a leading politician and something
of a "spellbinder" dearly loved to
air his knowledge of that particular
policy. . .
During one redhot campaign m
Indiana, and Indiana can have about
tho hottest political campaigns of
any state in tho Union, young Kern
was assigned to make a speech at
country town. H was greeted by
"Jim" Burns Scheme
The late Col. James N. Burns -of
St. Joseph, who represented his dis
trict in congress for several terms,
was a man of simple tastes although
a millionaire several times over. To
please his family he built a beauti
ful mansion in St. Joseph, and it
was equipped with polished floors
what do you call 'em, parquetry or
marquetry? . Well, you know what
is meant. Burns wanted a hit-and-miss
rag carpet on his library floor,
but of course the "women folks
wouldn't listen to that, so the
colonel had to take his chances of
skating -around on the back of his
neck now and then.
One day a veteran called to see
him about his pension. The veteran
wore a wooden leg one of those
real "timber legs" with a brad in
the bottom to keep the owner from
slipping. Burns piloted the old
soldier into his library, and noticed
that every time that "timber leg"
came down it punched a hole in the
floor. This gave the host an idea.
He piloted his guest all around the
room, showing him souvenirs from
many places, his books, his pictures
and his favorite guns and reels.
When the old soldier left the floor
was as full of holes as a sieve. Then
Burns called the women folks in,
pointed to the ruined floor and said:
"It's impossible to leave this floor
looking like that."
"You must get some fugs at once,
Jim," said Mrs. Burns.
"I'll have 'em sent out in the
morning," was the reply.
The next time Mrs. Burns entered
the library she was horrified to see
a bright hit-and-miss rag carpet
neatly laid and covering every one
of the holes.
And that rag carpet remained
there until James N. Burns passed
away.
Cautious
"Do you believe in reciprocity?"
"Well, it all depends."
"Depends on what?"
"Depends on whether the other
fellow has something better to offer
me than the thing I am willing to
give him for It."
Tho Office Boy
Me boss tells me never t' look at
de clock, but he takes a peek at it
evry mornin' when I show up V
wrirV.
It's mighty easy f'r de man dat's
already got dere t' pat me on do head
an' say: "Work hard mo Bon; dat's
do way I got my start." But ho
fo'gits dat ho didn't hov so far V go.
Do early bold catches do woim,
w'ich is hard on us woims.
De guys w'ot Is alius advlsin us
t love our woik oughter givo us
more o' do kind o' woik dat wo kin
love.
Aleck do Great weeped 'causo ho
didn't hov no moro woilds t' con
quer. Doubtless Pierp Morgan and
Jawn Rockyfeller t'ink Aleck wus a
softy.
I've heard a lot o' eonatys and
nockturns an' sich, but do sweetest
muBic is de sound o' mo muddor's
voice when sho says: "Supper's
ready."
It takes a wiso guy t' play do fool
wif profit.
I reckon some woikin'mon wouldn't
t'ink so much erbout gittln' a raise
o' wages if doy got moro words uv
approshiashun frum de boss.
De guy w'ot deliberately burns hiB
fingers don't make no hit wit' mo
when ho complains erbout de blisters.
Wear This Stylish Suit
Dcmnun Thompson
A message comes from ' Swanzy,
Maine,
That grief and anguish spread,
A message fraught with deepest
pain: ,
"01' Joshua Whitcomb's dead."
Dear soul, who made us bettor mon
By many a homely phrase;
Who led us back to youth again
Through old-time days and ways.
The kindly face and tender heart
Are cold 'in death today;
The loving soul has played its part
Within ItB walls of clay.
And heaven's gates are opened wide
While waits the heavenly crow
To false ar welcome shout insido
When OP Josh passes through.
The homo folks down in Swanzy,
.Maine,
Aro kinfolks all today.
Their grief our grief, their pain our
pain,
When 01' Josh passed away.
Sleep, dear soul, sleep; and sweet
thy rest
As you to others gave.
Bloom, fairest flowers, at your best
Above Josh Whitcomb's grave.
Little Johnnie Again
' i. ,(,ridess your husband is pretty
tired today," remarked little John
nie, who had remained silent longer
than usual.
"What makes you think that?"
asked tho visitor.
"'Cause my papa said he seed him
carjryin' a mighty heavey package
viatarlay." replied Johnnie before
'his mother could hustle him out of
the room.
Brain Leaks
Envy Is the hall mark of a little
soul.
A bird on the hat means one less
in the trees.
Wild oats seed is easy to sow but
hard to harvest. ,
It's a wise son that profits by his
father's mistakes.
And some men are known by the
company they avoid.
A man's worth is not to be judged
by tho friendship of his dog.
If Solomon was tho wisest man
we can forgive the foolish many
things.
The average yearning for a chance
to work in the garden Is rapidly dy
ing out of the- average city man's
breast.
The man who thinks the world
owes him a living, and expects tho
world to pay without being pushed,
has a' head so thick you could bore
an dugtfr into It for s.Ix inches and
bring nothing but boneshavlngs to
tho surface.
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All vtTW m77.
M ol 111 XwE I I m
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AMERICAN
Tho rann who Is Admiral In tho teU
drnwod n.n wlirwwj clothe aro faahlci
able, nttd ko 101 1 style;.
You will 1 that ninn In yo?
nnlrhttnrlMKxII An nil. wool, tailor
maun sat; or. nsany mil jirnaanj
clothr-nwplu tho first ninn Inyonr
neighborhood who nnnworo this
sprlngnnnotinccmnnt. 1911 stylo
nrejuttln. VourotthUHult
tho owollcat, el&MlMt, anflpplft
Mylowoororcrcnuxi ana ixstunr
your Hppcnruncol Thlt U oaf
Ideal We want on man a our repre
tentative In roar SlgMor$"ot,
You'eo tot lot of friend. The?
weircloUMt. HI the elt thine
la the world to cot the to order theis
clothe from yo. Price. 57 10 and up.
ThoM order mean hilt btjlnti that
more th&& doableo yrv Jury, and tha
work li tha eailett. cleanctt. nloet oeeapa
tlor In tha world. JTeur rprnUUw
maka 3 to $10 a day. Yon Imply take tU
order and inaaenremenU and mall wem ton.
Wa maka tha ctoUie. iblp thm on approjal
to jour friend and band yom Um prett
wmtav. A Karmlar Cinch I That's Ova
twftutyof belncliibtiilnMeforyoarielC. Bit
rlrht down bow: wrIU ne a ttal or a letU
for the fre- outfit to rprJnUUi. And yea
ret tha twelleit gal t of I aihlnnabl tailor-made,
all-wool.mt clothe arer worn la yemr neigh
borbood. If your paraonaj apptaraaea and
hi it tiailneai le worth a rotul or a 2o itima
to tou. then et SOW wrltn u today. Addrea
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Agonts wanted In overy county to sell Novelty
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Mr mild, aoothlnr, ruarenUed cart
ml amret to atr. TTKITJT N0TT TODAT.
DAK HE 4JURED. Mr
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v A m ttp Tvnn si secukkd ok fkk
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VICTOK J. 15 VANS & CO., Washington, D.O
PATENTS
WatNea K. CelemnM
Patent Lawyer, Woshlngtop,
Tl.fJ- A1 vim anil hMilm fro.
Bates reasonable. Richest references. Beat services.
nc am unniH .cii r '
WIUTE AX ONCE. UOX D Z93, t
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Kxpflrienea not ni
upAnenea not naadjec
COVINUTOW.KV.. U.fl.J
1A lfjT7"fil haisb them without
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Tried by a three million dollar fail
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Interest paid on Time Deposits and
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M. 6. Haskell, Vies President.
M.C. Sails, Cashier.
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