The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923, March 03, 1911, Page 13, Image 13
w MARCH 3, 1911 The Commoner. 13 know a thine On earth nhniit th case, but we just take tho risk o: guessing that tho dfifnnrlnTir n flu case isn't given to any of the abovo tilings, uut Mr. Plaintiff What? 4M VmU WttmWWMummwmUmitnimim n ' Heading in for Evening Mooreland, la., Feb. 11. Friend Bill: Whilst we admire your per sistency in trying to be a boy again, we cannot help but laugh over your failure to put on the ice what you had in your head. It's my opinion you would need a plank were you to undertake to perform some of the didos of the ol' swimmin' hole. It's only a question of time, Bill, when you will be forced to realize that you are on the road leading to the evening of life. Come back, Bill, and sit down with the old codgers and enjoy with its the only remain ing link with boyhood days the old flshpole. Whilst we can not skate, swim, shoot or play ball any more, wecan fish just as well as we ever did. Will you join us, Bill? J. P. BLUNK. I'm going back; I'm going back, and be a boy again, Leave far behind the cares of now and taste the joys of then. I'm going to dive head-first once more in that ol' swimmin' hole, And wander 'long the river's banks with my cane flshin' pole. Back to the joys of yester years, . when life was free from care; When every sky Tvas azure blue and every breeze was fair. I'm going to sit upon the bank and chew the rag with Blunk, And watch to see my bobbing cork go. underneath ker-plunk! I'm going back; I'm going back, through all the vanished days And gather in the bloom of youth ' along the old-time ways. Down by the mill and through the woods, and past the shaded hill, And through the pasture lot that lies along the rippling rill J Right to the sump that's leaning o'er the deepest, darkest pool, Where lurk the bullheads and the perch beneath the waters cool. And then, forgetful of life's cares, I'll sit and talk with Blunk, While we keep careful watch to see when our corks go ker-plunk! I'm going back; I'm going back, for getful of the years That tinge my once black hair with gray, forget all cares and tears, To be a care-free boy again, with happy joyous heart, And sit and fish the old, old stream where cautious bullheads dart. Then, when the sun sinks slowly down behind the crimson west, And birds and beasts have settled down for hours of peaceful rest, I'll Rinwlv tnVA the backward trail, and later, in my bunk, I'll say "lay me down to sleep" and dream of youth, and Blunk! But I do not think you .will have the nerve to publish this. W. M. BARNES. The Architect of this department is at. a loss to understand what he has ever said or done that would pad Mr. Barnes to doubt his nerve." And why should it take nerve to advocate the cause of social democracy? The Architect is as much a social democrat as Mr. Barnes, but it may be that our ideas of what constitutes "social democ racy" differ. There are about as many definitions of socialism as there are socialists, albeit socialists agree on certain fundamentals. The Architect has studied social democ racy, and he does vote his convic tions without a auiver. But whn. lis that crippled man with a family ui. eigne aepenaent upon him going to do while the rest of us, includ ing himself, are studying social democracy? All the books on socialism, or social democracy, ever printed wouldn't satisfy a man's hunger unless he could pawn them for a meal ticket. Doubtless the "man with a family of eight" will gladly agree to study, carefully and painstakingly, any book Mr. Barnes will furnish, providing Mr. Barnes will guarantee the "eats" for the family while the head therof is studying. Nerve? Bless your good heart, Brer Barnes, the Architect has got it to spare! Warned in Time I was just about to let a contract for a new house to be erected on my suburban lot when a friend came along. "What rash act are you about to commit?" he asked. I told him I was about to build a home. 'IRefrain!" he shouted. "You will be committing a crime." , Of course I wanted to knbw how. "I judge it will be a crime," said my friend, "because the minute you complete your house the city, county and state will proceed to fine you from $25 to $5 a year 'for having done so. We .only impose fines upon those who have been guilty of crime or misdemeanor." I am still pondering over the matter. In the meantime my vacant lot is enhancing in value, while the bricklayers, carpenters, painters and tinners I might have employed are still vainly looking for work. No Rcfcrcnco to Allusions "I am what I am today," said tho speaker, "because of my own unaided efforts. I have come up from the very bottom." "Uh-huh!" grunted Farmer Corn tossel, who sat in tho audience; "I reckon It's about time to skim you off, too." If a majority of tho audience thought of Illinois and tho United States senato about this time, of course wo are not to blame. Mistaken Identity "In response -to a demand from many of my friends," wrote tho aspirant, "I have decided to becomo a candidato for tho office of chief wollqper of tho county." What he would have said, had he written the whole truth, is that ho didn't have any real friends to tell him ho would make the mistake of his life if he dropped a good private business to chase after the illusions of petty political office. Suits in Ail-Wool Fabrics Made to Fit 12s es rree Limericks There was a young girl in Racine Who longed to be somebody's quine, But she married a guy Who- couldn't supply Pork, taters and turnips or bines. There was a man in Tupelo Who dearly loved to brag and blow About his worth, But only mirth Was his reward his neighbor's "know. Defined "What Is this Canadian recipro city business we hear so much about?" queried Blinks. "Oh that's easily answered," re plied Banks. "It means that Canada may send us duty free everything we do not want, provided Canada will admit duty free anything we have that Canada needs but buys elsewhere." Speaking of Nerve Fort Collins, Colo., Feb. 21. To the Architect of Whether Common or Not: In answer to "Who Will Answer?" in your issue of February 17, let me suggest that if your friend with "eight of a family," with something like -three million other men in the United States, out of employment, will join hands with those who are employed in produc ing bread and butter and wealth in our country in a thorough study of social democracy, and vote their convictions without a quiver, there will be: something' doing in the way of "furnishing" one dinner a day tor-his and -.other families of eight. Just Oar Guess A man in Lincoln is suing for a divorce on the ground that his wife is too much given to patroniz ing the picture shows, and does' not stay at home to attend to her house hold duties. That's really too bad, of course. But its dollars to doughnuts she doesn't have any wage check cashed in a saloon and then spend half or two-thirds of it for booze before she starts home. And 'we'll warrant that she doesn't smoke cigars a plenty, chew tobacco and stand on the corner and cuss tho government. Nor does she seek rest from work by walking 'steen miles around a pool table for hours on end, nor herd with a bunch of her kind and tell Btories that soil her lips and heart. And we'll hazard the guess that every time she asks e o rtnilfir her husband wants to know what she did with the dollar ho cave Raturday. . Of course, Reciprocity "What do you mean., by recipro city?" asked the man In search of political information. "Reciprocity," replied the senator from Oildom, "reciprocity means that you are to give me all I want in return for my giving you what I think you ought to have." to $3522 Smartest Styles Sent on Approval Sold on Credit Sampl We are making clothes for ten of thousand! ofl dressy young men. We save them from 30 to per cent because wo deal direct, and they taka their own measurements. No local Barents to pay. We use'nothlntr but all-wool fabrics, actd-tested, London shrunk. Clement clothes always lioM their shape, and they never fade. Clothes are sent on approval. If not satisfac tory in fit, materials or tailoring: you can seal them back, and we will pay express both ways. If you are perfectly satisfied yon can pay a little each month, for six months. No extra prlce.no Interest, no security, no red tape. We simply open a charge account as we have with thousands of others. The Clement Style Book for spring Is ready, showing all the clever designs In young men's clothes. With It wo send big book of samples of all-wool fabrics In tho newest patterns. Also a tailor's tape for taking measurements. The suit prices rang from $1245 to $35.00. Send us your name and address a postal card will do and this whole new outfit will be mailed you free. Write us now. We will nnve vou from $10 to $20 on a suit for spring and you can have six months to pay. (10) THE CLEMENT CO. 3551 Morgan St Chicago DON'T PAY TWO FRICES-i FOR STOVES & RANGES You Bare siioo to fe&oo on Remembered "Did you enjoy your tour 'through Switzerland?" Perk. "O, It was Just lovely, inn had just the loveliest postal cards!" iTSasssBHRIRaMf jW Hootler BUol I too bay. I back Hoosier Ranges Heaters we asked of Miss Every picture Wbynot bay the best when yon can bay them at eaeh loir. nnueara-or factory trices. UooelerStores sad Rasee are delivered for yen to use la year 1 own noma m days iree oerore A written raiarantee with each store :ed by a Million Dollars. Our new imi lmsroYa. Bents on stoves absolutely earna anTtlifns? erar prodBeed. Send postal today ferfraaeatal. 101 HOOSIER STOVE ifcCTORY . State Straef. ltariow, Iaafaaa a Brain Leaks clam knows when to Even shut up. The self-made man has usually spent overtime, on his vanity. Shallow men, like shallow wells,- usually yield indifferent product. Anyhow, the hobble skirt gives some men less opportunity to hide behind their wives. The larger the pumpkin tho coarser the meat do not judge men by their physical size. Doubtless the popular election of senators would result in the elec tion of more popular senators. If woman's hair grew the way she fixes it, wouldn't there be a big ma.mm'vot (m lls Vl).Yfl Viltnf T ran 9 -UlUUUjr LU. IUO MOIUDI UUBlUCBOi I Somp people spend so much time WATER POWER IMPROVEMENT. ARCHI TECTURAL WORK AND EHOIr&ERIN, WILLIAM RUSSELL SMITH COMPANY, YORK, PENNSYLVANIA It la the beat policy holder's com pany In the United States. ASSETS, $4,200,000 Twenty-three year old. Write ' Th Old Line Bankers Life Lincoln, Nebraska WANTED To buy some well-trained German Call Ducka. Address, Department D., Commoner Office, Lincoln, Neb. at she did with the dollar borao peopie epena so mucn ume m b her three weeks ago last practicing religion that they never J A ftf Ultimo Of course wo don't have time for practical Christianity. fflvtlllllM KKXEBY sent on FKKE THUL, It cures semi fl.OOi if nnt ,!, Glre Express Office. Xal'J UtustaJ wj, ssv uw a, 8icej-, 9. 1 m . i I '1 i 1 -H 31 Wi m . L. ' CuiMK'!