w
MARCH 3, 1911
The Commoner.
13
know a thine On earth nhniit th
case, but we just take tho risk o:
guessing that tho dfifnnrlnTir n flu
case isn't given to any of the abovo
tilings, uut Mr. Plaintiff
What?
4M VmU
WttmWWMummwmUmitnimim n '
Heading in for Evening
Mooreland, la., Feb. 11. Friend
Bill: Whilst we admire your per
sistency in trying to be a boy again,
we cannot help but laugh over your
failure to put on the ice what you
had in your head. It's my opinion
you would need a plank were you
to undertake to perform some of the
didos of the ol' swimmin' hole. It's
only a question of time, Bill, when
you will be forced to realize that
you are on the road leading to the
evening of life. Come back, Bill,
and sit down with the old codgers
and enjoy with its the only remain
ing link with boyhood days the old
flshpole. Whilst we can not skate,
swim, shoot or play ball any more,
wecan fish just as well as we ever
did. Will you join us, Bill?
J. P. BLUNK.
I'm going back; I'm going back, and
be a boy again,
Leave far behind the cares of now
and taste the joys of then.
I'm going to dive head-first once
more in that ol' swimmin' hole,
And wander 'long the river's banks
with my cane flshin' pole.
Back to the joys of yester years,
. when life was free from care;
When every sky Tvas azure blue and
every breeze was fair.
I'm going to sit upon the bank and
chew the rag with Blunk,
And watch to see my bobbing cork
go. underneath ker-plunk!
I'm going back; I'm going back,
through all the vanished days
And gather in the bloom of youth
' along the old-time ways.
Down by the mill and through the
woods, and past the shaded hill,
And through the pasture lot that lies
along the rippling rill J
Right to the sump that's leaning
o'er the deepest, darkest pool,
Where lurk the bullheads and the
perch beneath the waters cool.
And then, forgetful of life's cares,
I'll sit and talk with Blunk,
While we keep careful watch to see
when our corks go ker-plunk!
I'm going back; I'm going back, for
getful of the years
That tinge my once black hair with
gray, forget all cares and tears,
To be a care-free boy again, with
happy joyous heart,
And sit and fish the old, old stream
where cautious bullheads dart.
Then, when the sun sinks slowly
down behind the crimson west,
And birds and beasts have settled
down for hours of peaceful rest,
I'll Rinwlv tnVA the backward trail,
and later, in my bunk,
I'll say "lay me down to sleep"
and dream of youth, and Blunk!
But I do not think you .will have
the nerve to publish this.
W. M. BARNES.
The Architect of this department
is at. a loss to understand what he
has ever said or done that would
pad Mr. Barnes to doubt his
nerve." And why should it take
nerve to advocate the cause of social
democracy? The Architect is as
much a social democrat as Mr.
Barnes, but it may be that our ideas
of what constitutes "social democ
racy" differ. There are about as
many definitions of socialism as
there are socialists, albeit socialists
agree on certain fundamentals. The
Architect has studied social democ
racy, and he does vote his convic
tions without a auiver. But whn.
lis that crippled man with a family
ui. eigne aepenaent upon him going
to do while the rest of us, includ
ing himself, are studying social
democracy? All the books on
socialism, or social democracy, ever
printed wouldn't satisfy a man's
hunger unless he could pawn them
for a meal ticket. Doubtless the
"man with a family of eight" will
gladly agree to study, carefully and
painstakingly, any book Mr. Barnes
will furnish, providing Mr. Barnes
will guarantee the "eats" for the
family while the head therof is
studying. Nerve? Bless your good
heart, Brer Barnes, the Architect
has got it to spare!
Warned in Time
I was just about to let a contract
for a new house to be erected on
my suburban lot when a friend came
along.
"What rash act are you about to
commit?" he asked.
I told him I was about to build
a home.
'IRefrain!" he shouted. "You
will be committing a crime." ,
Of course I wanted to knbw how.
"I judge it will be a crime," said
my friend, "because the minute you
complete your house the city, county
and state will proceed to fine you
from $25 to $5 a year 'for having
done so. We .only impose fines upon
those who have been guilty of crime
or misdemeanor."
I am still pondering over the
matter. In the meantime my vacant
lot is enhancing in value, while the
bricklayers, carpenters, painters and
tinners I might have employed are
still vainly looking for work.
No Rcfcrcnco to Allusions
"I am what I am today," said
tho speaker, "because of my own
unaided efforts. I have come up
from the very bottom."
"Uh-huh!" grunted Farmer Corn
tossel, who sat in tho audience; "I
reckon It's about time to skim you
off, too."
If a majority of tho audience
thought of Illinois and tho United
States senato about this time, of
course wo are not to blame.
Mistaken Identity
"In response -to a demand from
many of my friends," wrote tho
aspirant, "I have decided to becomo
a candidato for tho office of chief
wollqper of tho county."
What he would have said, had
he written the whole truth, is that
ho didn't have any real friends to
tell him ho would make the mistake
of his life if he dropped a good
private business to chase after the
illusions of petty political office.
Suits in
Ail-Wool
Fabrics
Made to Fit
12s
es rree
Limericks
There was a young girl in Racine
Who longed to be somebody's quine,
But she married a guy
Who- couldn't supply
Pork, taters and turnips or bines.
There was a man in Tupelo
Who dearly loved to brag and blow
About his worth,
But only mirth
Was his reward his neighbor's
"know.
Defined
"What Is this Canadian recipro
city business we hear so much
about?" queried Blinks.
"Oh that's easily answered," re
plied Banks. "It means that Canada
may send us duty free everything
we do not want, provided Canada
will admit duty free anything we
have that Canada needs but buys
elsewhere."
Speaking of Nerve
Fort Collins, Colo., Feb. 21. To
the Architect of Whether Common
or Not: In answer to "Who Will
Answer?" in your issue of February
17, let me suggest that if your friend
with "eight of a family," with
something like -three million other
men in the United States, out of
employment, will join hands with
those who are employed in produc
ing bread and butter and wealth
in our country in a thorough study
of social democracy, and vote their
convictions without a quiver, there
will be: something' doing in the way
of "furnishing" one dinner a day
tor-his and -.other families of eight.
Just Oar Guess
A man in Lincoln is suing for
a divorce on the ground that his
wife is too much given to patroniz
ing the picture shows, and does' not
stay at home to attend to her house
hold duties.
That's really too bad, of course.
But its dollars to doughnuts she
doesn't have any wage check
cashed in a saloon and then spend
half or two-thirds of it for booze
before she starts home. And 'we'll
warrant that she doesn't smoke
cigars a plenty, chew tobacco and
stand on the corner and cuss tho
government. Nor does she seek
rest from work by walking 'steen
miles around a pool table for hours
on end, nor herd with a bunch of
her kind and tell Btories that soil
her lips and heart. And we'll hazard
the guess that every time she asks
e o rtnilfir her husband wants to
know what she did with the dollar
ho cave
Raturday. . Of course,
Reciprocity
"What do you mean., by recipro
city?" asked the man In search of
political information.
"Reciprocity," replied the senator
from Oildom, "reciprocity means
that you are to give me all I want
in return for my giving you what I
think you ought to have."
to
$3522
Smartest Styles
Sent on
Approval
Sold on Credit
Sampl
We are making clothes for ten of thousand! ofl
dressy young men. We save them from 30 to
per cent because wo deal direct, and they taka
their own measurements. No local Barents to pay.
We use'nothlntr but all-wool fabrics, actd-tested,
London shrunk. Clement clothes always lioM
their shape, and they never fade.
Clothes are sent on approval. If not satisfac
tory in fit, materials or tailoring: you can seal
them back, and we will pay express both ways.
If you are perfectly satisfied yon can pay a little
each month, for six months. No extra prlce.no
Interest, no security, no red tape. We simply
open a charge account as we have with thousands
of others.
The Clement Style Book for spring Is ready,
showing all the clever designs In young men's
clothes.
With It wo send big book of samples of all-wool
fabrics In tho newest patterns. Also a tailor's tape
for taking measurements. The suit prices rang
from $1245 to $35.00.
Send us your name and address a postal card
will do and this whole new outfit will be mailed
you free. Write us now. We will nnve vou from
$10 to $20 on a suit for spring and you can have
six months to pay. (10)
THE CLEMENT CO.
3551 Morgan St Chicago
DON'T PAY TWO FRICES-i
FOR STOVES & RANGES
You Bare siioo to fe&oo on
Remembered
"Did you enjoy your tour 'through
Switzerland?"
Perk.
"O, It was Just lovely,
inn had just the loveliest
postal cards!"
iTSasssBHRIRaMf
jW Hootler BUol
I too bay.
I back
Hoosier
Ranges
Heaters
we asked of Miss
Every
picture
Wbynot bay the best when
yon can bay them at eaeh loir.
nnueara-or factory trices.
UooelerStores sad Rasee are
delivered for yen to use la year
1 own noma m days iree oerore
A written raiarantee with each store
:ed by a Million Dollars. Our new imi lmsroYa.
Bents on stoves absolutely earna anTtlifns? erar
prodBeed. Send postal today ferfraaeatal.
101 HOOSIER STOVE ifcCTORY .
State Straef. ltariow, Iaafaaa
a
Brain Leaks
clam knows
when to
Even
shut up.
The self-made man has usually
spent overtime, on his vanity.
Shallow men, like shallow wells,-
usually yield indifferent product.
Anyhow, the hobble skirt gives
some men less opportunity to hide
behind their wives.
The larger the pumpkin tho
coarser the meat do not judge men
by their physical size.
Doubtless the popular election of
senators would result in the elec
tion of more popular senators.
If woman's hair grew the way she
fixes it, wouldn't there be a big
ma.mm'vot (m lls Vl).Yfl Viltnf T ran 9
-UlUUUjr LU. IUO MOIUDI UUBlUCBOi I
Somp people spend so much time
WATER POWER IMPROVEMENT. ARCHI
TECTURAL WORK AND EHOIr&ERIN,
WILLIAM RUSSELL SMITH COMPANY,
YORK, PENNSYLVANIA
It la the beat policy holder's com
pany In the United States.
ASSETS, $4,200,000
Twenty-three year old. Write '
Th Old Line Bankers Life
Lincoln, Nebraska
WANTED
To buy some well-trained
German Call Ducka. Address,
Department D., Commoner
Office, Lincoln, Neb.
at she did with the dollar borao peopie epena so mucn ume m b
her three weeks ago last practicing religion that they never J A ftf Ultimo
Of course wo don't have time for practical Christianity. fflvtlllllM
KKXEBY sent on FKKE THUL,
It cures semi fl.OOi if nnt ,!,
Glre Express Office. Xal'J UtustaJ
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