"PW"
DECEMBER 30. 1910
The Commoner.
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New Year Greeting
I wish a happy prosp'rous year
To all my good friends, far and near;
From California 'cross to Maine.
From lakes to gulf, and back again:
From north to south, from east to
west,
TwiBh for each of you the best
. The New Year has within its store
All this I wish for you and more.
I wish a year of joy and peace;
From sorrow and from pain release;
Tor friends about on every jjlde,
Arid love's doors ever onened wfilp?
&&.-' dope's full fruitidn day by day;
. A-. ' Anrl annclitno 11 i
-- uUUUxuc ui4 uiuug your way.
And harbor safe when tempests
t . roar
1A.1I this-1 wish for you and more.
For you I wish, instead of gold,
That you may gracefully grow old;
That each day's slowly setting sun
Will see some duty nobly done.
I wish that home ties stronger grow,
That for you flowers bloom and blow,
That God's rich blessings on you
pour
All this I wish for jtou and more.
! ,' The best that's old, the best that's
new
. - All," all of these, I wish for you.
: W. M. M.
'Twos Ever Thus
" Something less than forty years
ago one of my schoolmates and pals
was "Stub." We called him that be
cause he was a sawed-of chunk of
a boy, with a nose that turned up
ward and freckles upon his face as
big as pennies. "Stub" was as open
hearted as a boy could be, a pal that
would fight for you and he rather
liked the game and usually the first
to pick up a 'new slang phrase, or
something, a little worse. We have
fiBhed together, hunted together,
" gone swimming in the same hole in
the creek, slept out of nights side
by side, loaned each other our favor-
ite books, our knives, our fishing
tackle and our clothes.
Perhaps I rather cottoned to
"Stub" because he had the reputa
tion of being a rather bad boy. But
he was square with his friends, any
how. One day last week, a well dressed,
portly gentleman walked into my
office and spoke to me, calling, ine by
my -first name. There was an inde
finable familiarity about him, but I
could not place him. After letting
me guess a little while he smilingly
recalled one or two boyish escapades
and wound up by saying:
"You used to call me 'Stub,' and
a lot of fellows call me that yet."
We visited for quite a while, and
all Mm time I was wondering what
business "Stub" was engaged in. He
" Vdre a high collar with a modest
. bow tie, a Prince Albert coat and a
Bilk hat, and finally I decided that
"Stub" had developed into a minister
of the gospel. I had read about that
Bort of a metamaphorsis, and I rather
"prided myself upon my acumen,
"Stub" spoke softly and with ele
gant diction; he appeared perfectly
at ease, as If thoroughly accustomed
to being among refined men and
women, and not once did he utter
a' slang word or a profane epithet.
Then I knew that the fiery-tempered,
impulsive "Stub" had become a mta
liter. At last I determined to prove
my acumen and I asked:
"By the way, old man, what are
"you doing?"
series of wrestling matches, and in
the spring I expect to manage 'Kid'
L 's affairs and try to arrange a
match with a middleweight or two."
'On the square, 'Stub,'" I ex
claimed, "I'd doped you out to be a
minister."
"Not me," ho said laughingly.
"Remember. Billy, my kid brother?
Well, Billy's a preacher and he Is
pastor of a church that Tceeps him
busy day and night and pays him a
Httlo over a thousand dollars a
year. Last year I made fifteen times
that much, and 1 didn't do as much
in the twelve months as Billy does
in a week."
Long after "Stub" left I sat there:
pondering on a whole lot of things.
But one thing I know for sure
whatever "Stub" promotes you can
safely count is on the level.
Surprised
I thought 'twould ho no earthly ubo
To hang a stocking high,
For Santa, in his merry rounds
Would surely pass me by.
But when the Chrismas morning
dawned
With glory from above,
I found that I'd the richest gift
My children's warmest love.
I crave not gifts of jewels rare,
Nor silks and satins fine;
I covet no man's broad .estates,
His money or his klne.
For I have more than gold can buy
No richer could I be
For I am rarely rich in love
My children have for me.
-Easily Placed
"But Bilkington must bo placed in
a big position?"
"Why so?"
"Because he is a man of big In
fluence, and he has business connec
tions that make it imperative that, he
be given something of importance."
"Has he any marked ability, any
natural bent, any particular qualifi
cations?" "None whateyer, yet ho must be
taken care of."
"Well," mused the president-elect,
"I see nothing else to do than to
make him postmaster general,"
"I know, I know!" Interrupted the
manager. "But really wo enn not
uuoru io increase wages at this time.
I am sorry, but it is financially im
possible. But "
Hero the tender hearted manager
paused to wipo a toar from his eyes.
But I'll toll you what I'll do. Out
of my own pocket I will dofray the
oxpenso of printing and giving each
employe a copy of a littlo booklet
entitled, 'How I Ach loved Success.'
Gentlemen, It Is the story of my life,
and I commend it to your careful
perusal."
tion.
Christinas Gift
'What did you got for Christmas?"
-fv uuy uu anu a ut or Jndlgca-
Tho Need
"I understand that Bilkins Is go
ing to organize a new political party,"
"That's what he says, but I am not
in favor of It."
"Why not?"
"Because I've a better scheme.
I am going to try and furnish a new
vertabrae for my old party."
Tho Bruto
"I cannot understand what keeps
it from falling over," mused Mrs.
Splfkins, gazing at a picture of tho
leaning tower of Pisa
"It's kept up with a hatpin,"
said Splfkins, looking towards his
wife's newest creation In the way of
hat.
a
Kindly Offer
"I am sorry, gentlemen," sai the
manager of the big corporation to
the committee from the employes,
"but it i3 utterly impossible for mo
to grant you any increase in wages."
"But, sir," said the spokesman,
"we find It impossible to live upon
the wage we are now receiving. Tho
prices of everything we must buy
have gone up, yet our wages remain
the same, and tney were oareiy biu-
Tm nrnmOtinK aUlietU i"i I - - ' ... -ttOQ nrloa
a, .w j. on n tlnlOTIT nRIUrU LUC lUWCBWU v-"f
To Undo Joo
I've a feeling in my heart,
Undo Joe,
That wo soon will have to part,
Uncle Joe.
Do not think wo are unkind
When wo say wo do not mind
Seeing you thus left behind,'
Undo Joe.
The procession Is tqo fast,
Uncle Joe;
It has left you in tho past,
Uncle Joo.
You have served tho "Interests"
well
How well they alone can toll
Now we'll run tho thing a spell,
Undo Joe. "
I hear footsteps coming, hark,
Uncle Joe!
Sounds to mo just like Champ Clark,
Uncle Joe.
Please vacate tho speaker's chair;
Take another 'way back thoro;
Now look pleasant do not swear,
Uncle Joe.
Long you helped them "fry the fat,"
Uncle Joe;
For the robber trusts stood pat,
Uncle Joe.
But your sway has had a check,
And when you came from tho wreck
You'd a big bruise on your neck,
Uncle Joe.
Long they used you as a tool,
Uncle Joo.
Now we'll seo the people rule,
Uncle Joe.
Course" you still may chew tho rag,
But you can't apply the gag
Nor again consumers nag,
Uncle Joo.
Please excuse us while we smile,
Uncle Joe.
Then go 'way back 'bout a mile,
Uncle Joe. ,
What we want ' from you that'e
flat
Is just silence;- lots of that.
So cease talking through your hat,
Uncle Joe.
Turkish Baths at Home
DO W0NDCH5 1
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ROBINSON TURKISH iATH CASINCT
rM (rr the npM thittf la your kmmIuJo lotkU ol
minntcf, it h prodwrM atuiftMtbir tl In men -J
women, etrtooilf txht mini ami Blki.l kb itm
thm, Wood, ttoniKh iiv! win Mrtmt.tr. Piontstut phjit
cu la nun iM , tfHni irr for tkl w
tmei,t tt K.W-.MI IUU CkM lihiJrTi.
tifcaHjr rntriKtc) II ih Cabfect tr MIr- mxhUI !
lof tnultjr Sold by UtiUu or uat rtlrtxf. at prk-t W tl
;ur wnf tm) fat HUwr.u.l Uakkt ol attenlthU
Uctt, ( with lug lnlMrtutioa.
febUxa Mfr.C, alu 147 Maaalkka War TaMa, O.
jVfoJLt0fflxmm y
JMtKMTK KAJtN 76 to 7fio month nolUiHt
Novelty Knlvnt IIUiW. raror lcl, Klz mnUi
paranlcc. linndlfs drcnrl(Hl wthtumr. iddraw
lortjco rmtlFiiif, trmlo Oralimti, nwni photo, or
pictures of llnvAW nmt other co r-brrlk. (Utmt
fll r. MffroinnilMrion. Wrltfl quick for Usrrttorr.
HmbH, Cutlery C. ir ., OanUn, 0.
Trappers andFurSklpf tr$
Our nrlrn 1lt la rMtv .n i. i..t e-
Itho inklnc. AUo our "Traiwr' fluids,' which
ofjntnJiu !( Wnvjt aiuX Mmni" of tnifPlntr
mr tuiiniiK auuiiaiK. wo ixir iiixiicai rnsruol
prlccn for lunc I or further Information tuo our
prlco llt. Wrltn Unlay to
ABROHAMS FUR WOOL CO.
Fur MerobmiU Mejrinetir, Wl.
1
fjAJLVlUR nAIHB THKM WITHOUT
neoratka seed Co., Omaha, Ha.
flSTH"
CUHKfnt by ovprrtuito yotioW
FrroTrlal. Hit cum wndll;lf
" not, ciori'i. ciivo riprcM owoa.
NaUona! Chemical Co.. 719 Ohio Ave.. Hldney, 0.
Tntorftv NoFett until allowM. Prm Itoolu
riAlVMS IriLLtK t, HJLLVK, WaHafU h. 0,
PATENTS
Wnfaaii K. Coleman
1'alent lJiwycr,V MhlRcto,
1J.C. AdvlcnandliookufrfHi.
KatM rtaaonablc. Hlshest reference. JiestAervkaMb
TP A W IP WW Q HKCUICKD OK FKK
JL JM. A. Mil IV X F9 itlCl'JJJtNKO.
Free report ax to VatentAbltlty. Illustrated liildi
llooU. and Mrt of lnventlona WanUMl. ent reo.
V1CTOIC J. KVANH Si CO., WMhlrifftou. D.O
?m&vism
lOomnotor AUxM
Cooquetedat I-at
Kerve Tal)leU do It. Wrlto for Proof. Ad vtto Fr.
Dr. CUAHli. 224 North 10th tit., I'JillAdclpbk, i'a.
VCTER8NARY COURSE AT HOME.
10flfl 7CAr n1 tipirarda can lie ma4a taklni nor Vater
l.li n,nr Couran at home darlnr a pare tlmaj tauahl
In aimpteit Knglmhi Diploma irrantcd. poiltlona obtained
forauccttilul itudenti; catw,tbln reach of allt aatlifac
Hon floorantecdt partleulara free. Onjnr O VtMln
ry CorresponUonce Schoola London. Cntu
NO PRACTICE
Bishop Frank R. Millspaugh of
Kansas, formerly dean of Trinity ca
thedral, who took part In tho con
secration, resembles to some extent
William Jennings Bryan.
On several occasions some years
ago, notably at Germantown, Pa.,
where tho bishop has preached, he
was mistaken for Bryan, and when
entering the train there was greeted
by one man with, "Hero comes
Bryan."
Later on the bishop and Mr. Bryan
met at Suwaneo, Tenn., and the
bishop asked the democratic leader
if he could see the reBerabhince.
"You do look something like me,
but you lack the Jaw," replied Bryan.
"Just lacks development. You
see, I have not used it as much," re
torted Bishop Millspaugh, and the
Incident closed with a hearty laugh
from the commoner. Omaha Daily
News.
Stomach Troubles
Vanish
Like Magic
FREE
to
Every
Man
or
Woman
Jafj
J J m
' 1
A JLhj u'ijwl -A.Mt
Woaldyoallkotocatallyoawantto.aDdwnatToa
want to without havJiur distress In your utomachf
Would you like to say farewell to DyspepU
ldiretla,5ir Stowadi, Ulstrct aUrEtUag.
NrvoHse, Catarrh s! tbe StMMch, Heart
Hatterln, Sick Headache and CmastlpUUm?
Then send me 10 cents to cover cost of packfpr
ndl will mall you absolutely free one of theee
wonderful Stomach Draft. They relieve tb
bowels, remove sorenejs, strenjrtben the nenrcii
and moselea of tbe stomacb, and scon make you feel
like m new rn or woman. Suffer uo longer but
write today enclosing 10 cents for postage, etc.,
and get one of these wonderful Stomach Draft
that are celebrated because tbey fcave carerf wher
medicines alone failed. Wrilo Dr. G. G YoaV
i57 National Bank Blajr., Jackiwn, Mich.
-7
"I'm nero ui uv , -..
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lh
ui
Ct a.
i ihot
be said.