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The Commoner.
MAT , 1910
13
A Vnnishcd Bxcuso
Doubtless the young people of to
day have found something just as
good, but I have often -wondered
what excuse they have for sitting
close together in the front room,
now that the old-fashioned"" album
has disappeared. That old album
was a mighty handy thing to have
around in the old days when we were
"taking notice." When I looked at
the pictures of ma and pa, of Uncle
Jim and Aunt Hannah, and Cousin
Sarah and Cousin Joe, to say nothing
of grandma And grandpa when I
stared steadily at those old photo
graphs, never seeing them, of course
oho had to sit up close so she could
name them all for me and tell mo
little' stories about them. And the'
closer she sat, why of course the
easier it was for her to, see the pho
tographs, consequently much easier
for her to recall little incidents.
And if ma or pa happened to enter
the room unexpectedly, of course the
presence of the album on my knees
explained the proximity of the daugh
ter. It was no entertainment to look
at the photographs of people unless
some one was right there to tell you
who they represented. And of course
she knew every blessed one of them.
O, those ornately bound old leather
albums! Where have they all gone?
We know of one or two that we'd
give a great deal to look through
once more. They used to ornament
a table in the front room of the old
Missouri home, and they contained
the pictures of relatives and friends.
Here and there in those albums were
photographs of men in the ill-fitting
uniforms that men wore during the
dark days of the civil war. Women
in flaring crinolines, little shavers in
funny round-abouts or skirts starched
so stiff they stood straight out the
photographs of men and women now
gray-haired and playing with their
grandchildren, or else long since
gathered to their fathers.
They have disappeared, and for
ever, and with them went something
that not all the ingenuity of modern
minds can replace. And as we re
marked in the beginning, we wonder
what excuse the young people sitting
so close together in the front room
have when the old folks come in.
Lack of Observation
that
Mr. Pursley "Who was
woman that wo Just passed?"
Mrs. Pursley "That woman with
the chanticler hat, the plaid shirt
waist with the chiffon collar and the
skirt trimmed with velvet braid and
cut steel spangled and the French
heeled shoes and the kalsomined
complexion, with the near-diamond
ear-rings and the sunburst at her
throat and the monogram buckle on
her belt, and the seven rings on her
right hand that she kept holding in
full view and the torn binding on
the bottom of her jSkirt is that the
one you mean?"
Mr. Pursley "Yes, I guess that's
the one you mean?"
Mrs. Pursley "Well, I didn't no
tice who Bhe was."
win out. Now comes the glad tidings
that the old-time printer did win out,
and by a handsome majority. That
is, he received thd democratic nom
ination, which amounts to the same
thing as an election down in Arkan
sas. In a little note to the Architect
Col. Hodges says:
"If you are ever down this way,
or will take a week off and visit us,
we'll show you a good time. With
the exception of your own good state
Arkansas is miles ahead of any other
state in the Union. I ought to know
I've been in several of them. Come
down to our annual press meeting in
May. What about it? Bring your
friend along the gentleman who
edits The Commoner. We are all
Bryan men down here, girls and boys
alike."
Gee, but we'd' like to accept that
invitation and roam around through
the Arkansas hills in company with
a bunch of good fellows and they
are all good fellows down that way.
The matter will be submitted to the
gentleman referred to by Col.
Hodges.
Snubbed
"Has everybody interested had an
opportunity to speak on this sched
ule?" queried the chairman of tho
tariff committee.
"Please, sir, I would like to say
a word," exclaimed a small man who
had not before been noticed.
"Whom do you represent?"
queried the chairman.
"I don't represent anybody but
myself; I'm the ultimate consumer,"
admitted tho small man.
There being nothing further to in
terest the committee it adjourned to
meet in various cafes with repre
sentatives of real interests.
Ineffectual
"What do you mean, John Henry
Spifkins, by coming home at this
hour of the morning?"
"M' dear, I jus' been watchin' th'
comet. Greash shlngs, comets; bet
ter shay up shomo night an' see
comet."
"You hike right out to the barn
and go to sleep in the hay, John
Henry Spifkins. That comet don't
show up until 4:30, and it is now
just 4 o'clock. If I hear or see any
thing more like this the star's you'll
see will have longer tails than any
comets ever forecasted by the astronomers."
Tho Printcrman Won
On divers and sundry occasions
the Architect has taken pleasure in
mentioning tho old time printers, and
his pleasure in meeting with them or
hearing of their successes. A few
months ago he mentioned the fact
that one of the old timers, Earl W.
Hodges, yearned to bo auditor of the
great state of Arkansas, and ex
pressed the hope that Hodges would
Doubtful
"Money makes the mare go," re
marked the man who dearly loved
quotations."
"Maybe that's go.' remarked the
man who had gone broke on the
horses, "but all that have felt the
Influence of my cash have failed to
&u JLUOb uuuubu i,vr feu iwijunut,
Financial Item
"How did Pinkerly manage to get
that new spring suit?"
"He got it on time."
"I didn't know his credit was good
anywhere In town."
"It isn't, but he pawned his
watch."
Tho Method
After touring tho big factory we
were admitted to the sumptuous
office of the gentleman who owned
and managed it.
"Your factory is full of hollow
eyed children and frail women," we
remarked.
"Yes, I am so tender-hearted that
I can not help giving employment to
those who must have it," said tho
manager.
"And I learn that your wage scale
Is at the starvation point or lower."
"I admit paying small wages, but
I believe in employing as many peo
ple as possible."
"But by paying such a small wage
scale your profits aro enormous."
"I am compelled to make enor
mous profits, for how else could I
afford to finance all tho charltablo
enterprises with which tho wholo
world Is familiar through tho work
of my publicity department?"
Not having any answer ready to
hand wo were compelled to seek
refuge in silence.
G. O. P.
Onery, Orrey, Ickery, Ann,
Waiting to hear from just one
man!
Filison, Follson, Nicholas, John
If ho don't speak quickly wo aro
gone.
Aiitomobilical
"Have a good ride today?"
"Not very only seven chickens,
three dogs and a single buggy."
Brain .Leaks
Paraded grief arouses little sym
pathy. A bit of scandal never grows less
In tho repeating.
The older you get the better your
slippers will feel.
A man usually has the "blues"
after "painting things red."
Smelling of gasoline is no sign of
ownership of an automobile.
Your best friend is not tho ono
who is always excusing your faults.
Jealousy is always looking for
something that it is afraid It will
find.
The trouble with some women is
that they can see so many things
that never happen.
The man who discovered the Ger
man carp will never havo any monu
ments erected to his memory.
"If you don't like your job, quit,"
is a mighty easy thing to say provid
ed you don't havo to' work for a
living.
Temples of Peace erected from the
profits of building battleships are
calculated to arouse more mirth than
sentiment.
Somo church members think they
have done their full duty when they
see to it that tho pastor's salaTy is
kept fairly well paid up.
Explaining the high cost of living n
would-be expert says: "The working
classes are no longer content with
the cheaper cuts of meat." We'd
like to know who is more entitled
to the choice cuts than tho workers.
Ever notice that these culinary ex
perts who pose as teachers of the art
of cooking always invite us working
men to watch them cook a steak that
costs about as much as tho average
mechanic's day's wages amount to?
A LIQUOR DEALER'S INCOME
The average annual income of the
American liquor dealer, according to
a recent estimate, is over $7,000.
These figures are based on an esti
mate of fifty drinks to a gallon of
whisky and twelve glasses of beer to
tho gallon. Many saloonkeepers,
however, by generous adulteration,
make a gallon of whisky yield seven
ty drinks. One village saloon-keeper
took in over the bar $24,000 a year,
and his only competitor in the vil
lage took in $16,000 yearly. These
men were getting rich, while the
village community was being impov
erished. This is the experience of
thousands of similar communities all
over the country, where the saloon
is gradually absorbing the wealth
and manhood, and sapping the mor
als, and ruining homes, and yielding
nothing in return. Christian Advocate.
Satisfaction
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ucc oar ireo uook ran oi vaiOAUio information.
MOUDISH TRAINING SCHOOIV
r i'tuaco Hide.,
Minneapolis. Minn.
lie
THE
GUARANTY STATE BANK
has depositors in every state of the
union In tho Interests of sound
and safe banking" you should bo on5
of them. In the interests of your
self and dependents your money
should be placed where It Is secured.
Don't be fooled by tho banker
whoso over-towerinff Integrity
forces him to oppose every plan of
security for his depositors.
DONT DELAY IT MAY BE
DANGEROUS.
Send for Booklet.
M. G. HASKELL, V. P.
MUSKOGEE:, OK LA.
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