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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 24, 1909)
i.ri,'"Wi!ig',,sr DECEMBER 24, 1909 The Commoner. I v VvVwZ r1 J3 11 Ir Jk"N fc 7 . X IV. JT Rv Wrr. M Mfinn,niL J The Mistletoo She stood beneath the mistletoe, Innocent as could be; She looked about her everywhere At everyone but me. And I well, I just took a chance Amidst the revelers there, And pressing forward to her side I kissed her, fair and square. Then later, in a shaded nook, From interference free, She said she knew I'd take the bait And didn't look at me. And so, young man, I'd this advice: "Just watch your chance and go For her who never looks at you, Under the mistletoe." The Architect's Letter Box Chicago, Ills., December 12. To the Architect: I always read your department in The Commoner with much interest, and the way you de scribe the old-time days is exactly in keeping with my experience. But I have one now that "skins" any thing I ever saw before my wife's new hat. She bought a soapbox for six cents and knocked one side of it out and covered the remainder with a yard of velveteen. She then took the wing of the boy's windmill and tjed some bows on it with a yard of ribbon which cost seven cents. Then she got the tin top off of a pop bot tle and with a brass tack fastened to one.side of the box the side she carries in front. I presume her idea in knocking out one side of the box was to make room for "rats." Of course the boy got "sore" about the windmill, but it did him no good. It added much, apparently, to the looks of the hat. At any rate, my wife's women friends all declare that it is a perfectly lovely hat, and many of them have turned green with envy. The hat cost sixty-two cents. I thought this information might be of benefit to some of the readers of your department. M. D. H. I don't know whether this corre spondent is joking or not. When in the office I am Inclined to think he is, but when I am on the street and see some of the hats I am in clined to believe "he is serious." But whatever his inclination, we offer his suggestion for what it is worth. wmmU you do not havo to nav a' tariff dutv on specie you import? Well, you uo noi, so cmrK upi xou can bring in free of duty all the specie you can carry. The "ultimate consumer" will soon bo ultimately consumed eaten blood raw by the trusts. But we can still wish von n. Merry Christmas without being taxed. And wo do. Eureka! "Hi, dere, Jimmy! Here's luck!" "What's do matter, kiddo? Found a pocketbook?" "Naw; but i's found a gratin' in do sidewalk right over a basement where dey are bakin' mince pies f'r Christmas!" Unpleasant Conversation "I tell you, 'money talks.' " "Indeed it does, and a lot of it Is telling some very bad things about the men who havo gotten hold of it." Precaution "Mary, my dear; have you got my receipt for that accident insurance policy?" "Yes, John." "And are you sure that the insur ance on the house is in full force and effect?" "Yes dear." 'And did the fire department tell you that the fire plug on the corner was not frozen up?" "They told me it was all right. -"Got the" sweet oil, the lard and flour,, and the other things all ready?" "Everything ready, dear.' "Well, hring on that cotton bat ting suit and I'll get ready to play Santa Claus again." Nothing New "I understand that Santa Claus is going to come in an aeroplane this year." "Nothing new about that, He has had my presents 'In the air for a great many years," Uncounted "I suppose your campaign for re election cost you a handsome pile of money?" "Sir. I am clad to say that I was not so sordid as to keep an account of my campaign expenses," replied Senator Corntossel. "Then you do not know what it cost?" "I do not." Afterwards the senator eased his conscience by telling himself that he had no way of telling how much ink the recording angel used in keeping track of all tho senatorial promises made during the campaign. Different "My wife is just like a phono graph." "Well, I wish mine was." "What for?" "A phonograph runs down once In a while, and even at that you can shut it off." Wise Willie Tariff Talks They still have a tax on foodstuffs, but, thank goodness, good cheer is still on the free list. Everything you ever heard of be fore is taxed, but a lot of things you never knew existed areon the free list. Perhaps we ought to be thankful anyhow. , 'Are you aware of ,th fact that "Well, Willie, I suppose you are still firm in tho faith that there is a Santa Claus?" "Sure thing! You don't suppose I'm goin' to lose out on a good thing by gettin' too wise, do you?" Brain Leaks Wnrm the briddlebits. A Merry Christmas to Everybody! It costs nothing to give a smne.. Don't forget the Red Cross stamp. Real Christmas cheer is not found in bottles. Love in a gift is better than in trinsic value. Don't open the package until Christmas day. Sermons that hurt are the ser mons that help. Sympathetic tears will not warm any cold hovels. There is a difference between send ing gifts and giving gifts. Before marriage he estimates her ,irhf Tvc trv measurements; after I marriage it 1 a clear case of esti mating avoidupols. Isn't It tho truth? A littlo Christmas candlo will light up a big expanso of territory. A man may follow his conscience straight to tho gates of perdition. This is tho season of tho year when tho lad with fat logs is glad of it. You can't always tell tho feelings of tho donor by looking at tho prico tag. Wish I could, havo as much fun with my work as my baby does with his dog. Wo love Christmas, but wo do wish it did not come so near tho first of tho month. Tho hanniest time In n vntincr man's lifo is when ho rings his Christinas bolle. Tho man who says ho has nothing to arbitrate practically admits that ho is In tho wrong. A littlo more heart and a littlo loss money in the gifts you give will make tnom seem all tho better. Christmas cigars aro often bought by tho label; but they aro not esti mated that way by tho recipient. A lot of money is spent in amelio rating social conditions that ought to be spent in curing social condi tions. A bushel of coal or a sack of flour will exercise moro Christian influence this kind of weather than any amount of tracts. People will listen while you com miserate with their woes, but they grow Impatient when you try to re lato your own., Tho young man who Is always talking about his "salary" is usually in debt to his friend who is content to worK ror wages. It will be cheerfully admitted that Mr. Rockefeller is not afflicted with the "hook worm" disease as that af fliction Is understood. We never think of the street car that Is on the crossing when wo get there, but If we have to wait a min ute or two we think things. This is the season of tho year when we always carry a sandbag to use on tho head of the man who tries to abolish Santa Claus. Every now and then wo wish we wore big enough to take tho fine, warm overcoat from the back of the driver and throw it over tho back of his horse. Wo would recommend boiling in oil, or something equally lingering, as the fit and proper punishment for tho man who seeks to abolish child ish faith in Santa Claus. You may not bo able to provide moro than ono Christmas tree, but you can plant enough Christmas tree seed to brighten a whole neighbor hood in tho years to come. The man who listens to troubles has many friends; the man who Is always telling his troubles has no need of mathematical ability in or der to enumerate his friends. It has been many a year since we hung up a Christmas stocking, but we've never ceased to wonder how tho children around tho equator, where they don't wear stockings, manage things at this time of the year. Wn mnnrn the disannearance of the good old grandmothers who put In tho months of September, October and November with a big part of December knitting all-wool Christ mas socks and mittens. 13 I Uneeda ( NATIONAL 2 Biscuit 1 el T, 1 lil f4 K'" '""" without milk. XKHHAHUA HICI It CO., Omaha, Xebr. ACTUM! THK Mnt by exprrw toyouort MO 1 II Mil Freo Trial. II Itrtm- end II: If mm m ii i not. don't. (live cxnr onier, National C liomlcnl to., 764 Ohio Ave.. Hldney.O. ECZEMA (UN JIB OI'Kr.n. Mr tnlM, aoctl.lrtf. prnWl cm Joi II .nt rill. AMPI.K m-mtm It HtOI-5 TI1K ITCMIM in eur to itar. WKITK NOMT-TOtHT. DR CANNADAY, 174 PARK SQUARE. SEOAllA, MO mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmam nsncni jm MAP J .sssssir riri itiiriwi inli TnMii hi in Concord Orai Vbictt 0. I Jiuddod r . Cherry TrctMi oo. Titty ro atron i nlfhr.n-ai!vtfl!mir CVttalocrajld t duo hill IttHs Write tor rholro relootlona. n. htnlthr.nmdytourow CAtalOfrAodtta inlilll rrrw, tvHIit far rhnlrnMilfuitinnn. uwnftiiT fH'finnnirnHnxKVrtrhnry.tftiti. f A W T? 717 I Cf KKOURKW Oil FKK Freo report M to Pntentablllty. lllurtraUxl Guide book, and 1.1st of Inventions Wanted. Mrtitfrrw. Viarou J. KVAKfl it Co., Washington, I). C Lnp KA MX A earn 1 elegraphy 2&. Younir men and women to fill K. R. and Cor. poiltlotu. Thorough Instruction, Expcnacs (or count, 24 week' tuition. board, room. Including typewriting, (&0, I'otluVm lor an ttra duatea, catalog free. Marion Telegraphic School, Box C, Marion, Ind. MINKSKINS. I nm pnylillf tut follown for tho winio- Northern LarKC, 10.50; Medium, f-l.R0; hrnnll. 'Uft; Central Law, W.60; Mfdlum. UW, Small, 1M. Put your own Krado on if you wtah. Four pouuu or under ncntl by mull. Next nwortninl hlKhmtt prtco for nil nir. O. A. MljiiXIiMilt, JUiHtJAbcrty, Ohio. Appre ec, Teach fie, Plum lie. Cherry lie. Hcit nuaMy.uood bcarcro, tcrziica mock, not ueeaunu: uoncoru Grapes J2.S0pcr 103. Forest Tree ticca llnjw II.M per LOW up. Wo Mh!& S &. & v mm V olelo line -. ri;..t.i UK VCKCIBUKil Uniuir anal -v.-. -";;- . .7 r-x ran" oveu. u i5 --t'arK0 Illustrated cat- v aintnin irem. Also irea ita oicltot of "Mow Corcleas" Tomato, the Lest t all tomatoes. German Murserfas, Mb 219, Beatrice, fc. The British r-.useum, which is now 160 years old, was originated by Sir Hans Sloan, who bequeathed his col lections to tho government for $100,000, about two-fifths of their cost. Ex. L TRY MY FREE TEST If you are lick, weak or despondent enA me tample of your una fpr anaJraw and 1 wiU eao you oce week inedKl treatment end diet lit! free of cort. Do you think I could afford to nuke Ihu dUr U I wr. nnl rvrtm'm ei BfxA rcUiltl ? Mail iaa caje aod bottle for once, tent oo re ceipt of 4 cenU for poataae. . Chared for vitnnatlr. 1 WCDtT - in the treatment of c Stomach and Nerrea. FjUblnM tn PitU burr in 1 888. Book of Cure free. DBJ.F.SHAFER 214 Penn Ave., PitUburo, Pa. rezular Ueatment reaionable. Twenty yean experience in the treatment c4 di- oi iteKidJieyi Biad wr. According to the London Statist, the world's production of gold for 1908 was the largest In history. It Is placed at $109,000,000 against $400,000,000 In 1907 and , $390, 000,000 in 190C. ., THE BEST ASSET OP A BANK fs honest officials; the best se curity of depositors is the Okla homa bank law. Bank officials aro not always honest. Tho state banks of Oklahoma aro all operated under the Guar anty Law. If you want to know about it ask for our booklet. BUARANTY STATE BANK Muskogee, Oklahoma M. G. HASKELL, Cashier , U II it 1 !'' fl J . ;fl wjrsairtlrTtwiirTrifrr,ir,1 ..yw-jnfjjarf.tbjlw nuLumu sjwmhi iwi rt"