JUNE 18, 1909
The Commoner.
11
0
$Di filif marf.
Tho Graduate
Now comes the springtime graduate
Who has completed college;
His name hitched to some high
degrees,
His head choke full of knowledge.
To him. the world is but a ball
No larger than a minute,
And he is sure he is prepared
To pick it up and spin it.
In time he'll realize its size
And, get the right impression;
And then he'll take his proper place
In .life's prolonged procession.
Don't worry; he will do his part,
And help the state grow greater;
Depend on him he'll honor cast
Upon his Alma Mater.
Some Sidelights
With fearless mien and greatest
grace and the graduate will boldly
face the problems of the
Tho market place, and solve
Graduato each daily riddle. He'll
Comes show us fogies how to
do each puzzling task
that comes to view; and -work with
each great problems through, and
both ways from the middle. He'll
seize upon our -social state to rescue
us from threatened fate, .and lead
us on to future great, just for a bit
of pleasure. Our currency he will
reform; he'll shelter labor from
life's storm, and keep the fires of
freedom -warm, in moments of his
leisure. Do tariff schedules vex
your mind?. Leave all such prob
lems far behind, for comoth now one
who 4s kind enough to lift the weary
load. The servant problem? Dry
your tears for on the scene there
now appears the one you've waited
for long years, to help you down
life's miry road. All problems he
will solve with ease; he'll walk right
up and bravely seize each dragon :
bring it to its knees and save us
from each threatened fate. Go, take
your ease. Don't worry now! He
comes with laurels on his brow to
Bave you if you'll but allow the
earnest college graduate!
chase despoilers of the glad play
time of youth and drive them from
the temple without any thought of
ruth. I'd slay the dreadful dragons
that make childish pleasures flee if
I were Teddy Roosevelt and Teddy It.
were mo.
The
Glorious
Fourth
Now soon we boys will rise at four
and make tho cannon crackers roar.
From early dawn to set
of sun wo'll all remem
ber Lexington, and
Bunker Hill and Bran-
dywine, and all the Con
tinental line. We'll fill the land with
smoke and noise because we're pa
triotic boys. And while we boys do
thud engage you'll hear a lot of
grouches rage, and get off strings
of words inane about a Fourth that's
"safe and sane." These have for
gotten '76, and with bones full of
rheumatics, they'd have us boys sit
idly by the glorious Fourth Day of
July. Avaunt, you men who dare
to say that on our nation's natal
day we boys can't have our noise
and fun and whoop it up for Wash
ington. We'll shoot the daylight full
of holes, and as each crashing echo
rolls we'll light anew sweet Free
dom's fire's and honor memory of
sires. We'll fill our skins with
powder stains and never flinch at
stinging pains. We'll skip around
and cough and choke with lungs
filled full of powder smoke. We'll
wage the fogies with our' shouts and
burn holes in our roundabouts. It
is our day the greatest day and
we will celebrate our way!
If I were Andy Carnegie, and Car
negie were me, there'd be some dif
ferent doings in this
Things country of the free. I'd
Would Bo build no stately build
Changed ing that would loom up
big for looks, then fill
them to the ceiling with huge piles
of musty books. Not much! I'd
take the children from the mines
and from the mills and set them
playing, straying, in the woods be
side the rills. I'd fill their souls with
sunshine and their childish hearts
with glee, if I were Andy Carnegie,
and Carneeie were me. If I were
Rockefeller, and he, 'perchance, were
me, some difference in our actions
v$ry quickly you would see. I'd
spend no anxious moments adding to
my hoarded wealth, nor scheme for
legislation and procure the same by
stealth. Not much! I'd stop the
weeping of the helpless girls and
boys; I'd give the widows houses
and I'd give their children joys
jovs to make their little faces shine
with gladness good to see if I were
Rockefeller and he, perchance, were
me. If I were Teddy Roosevelt, and
.Teddy "R. were me, I'd not be breath
ing slaughter in the jungles o'er the
sea. I'd slay no lions or tigers just
for joy of shedding gore, and laugh
A Dozen Dont's
Don't tell your, 1oubles; other
people have troubles of their own.
Don't e a snitch. A snitch is a
man who will accept benefits and
refuse to help secure them.
Don't think that having a "good
time" is all there is to lifo.
Don't give advice that you are
unwilling to follow.
Don't forget that wasted moments
mean lost hours.
Don't start anything you know you
can't finish.
Don't forget that the reason you
have only one mouth but two ears
is that you are supposed to tell only
half of what you hear.
Don't think your moral yardstick
is the sole standard of morality.
Don't worry over things that may
never happen.
Don't boast of being self made un
til after you have examined thor
oughly the finished product.
Don't boast of what you possess.
Don't complain because you
haven't got what you want.
workingnten whoso averago wages
are less than $450 a year. Such
able financiers are they that thoy
are able to givo their children nour
ishing food, pay tho rent, buy fuol
and educate tho children, clotho
them and givo them medical atten
tion, and fit them for noble citizen
ship and all on a paltry sum that is
mere weekly pin money for the
wives of the men you named. I
claim that the women I mention are
the ablest financiers in tho country.
If they were not, tho privation that
is already too prevalent would bo
woefully 'greater than it is."
And all the cheering that followed
was for tho little woman and her
kind, and not for the orator and tho
financiers he named.
Peculiar
"Smlfkins has a queer idea of
what constitutes humor."
"Why do you say that of Smlf
kins?" "Because he actually thinks that
all this senatorial discussion of tho
tariff is funny. He'd actually laugh
at a funeral ceremony."
The Cure
"I just can't keep my mind off of
tho outlandish shape of the hats you
women wear these days," growled
Billlkens."
"Well," sweetly replied Mrs. Bil
llkens, "here's the bill for mine.
Perhaps that will direct your
thoughts to other channels."
Uncle Wiseman
"My son," remarked Un.clo Wise
man, "don't yo' all ever fergit dat
de owl gotter reputation f'r wisdom
by not a sayin' much at all, an'
keepin' a lookin'- solemn all de
time."
THE CONSUMER'S DILEMMA
Tho consumer would not mind tho
raising of tho cost of living if ho
could raise tho price of living. St.
Paul Dispatch.
Ha ALADDIN . HOUSE $1261
KfKKkd-Hwn dwelling hfluMi. wmiMf cnilte'
Mrni ana iiiiim. w ut you half rrtc I iuuwm
lor rnmpUU hou. AH lumbar cut la fiU fftlr-J
board, mlllwMk, tooling, Mrtwara. palM, lrxtM1
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ACT Bill A f'UKK mit by express to you on
Ma llimN 1'rco Trim. If itctm-s send tl.tr
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., ., , , ' '. uoni, uivo oxproj omen.
National Chemical Co.. 761 Ohio Ave. Bldnoy, O.
"PfltorttQ No I'm until allowed. Frro Hooks,
rUtilTl lit rULLER A yVI.LI.li, Ha.Bl.cUa, B. CT
A Municipally owned -Irrigation
systom. nzzzzzi
Unlimited water an free m tho illittrlci school.
Why not havo nn Ideal homo In tho heart of Cali
fornia? How to cot It. Wrlto for fn-o booklet.
Dent. C, Hoard of Trade, Mod en to. Cal.
HAVMZ YOVAAJW llMAflfa. write
for our hooks Why I'atenU 1'ayj What to Invent
100 Mechanical Movements and TrcatlRo on I'crpot
ual Motlons-GO lllustratloiiH. All mailed I'roo, F.
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3-STROKE SELF-FEED HAY PRESS.
MbftttlM r ..... . ...
waalttd LMA "1 mi , KM
iws mm can run It.
ThiAytj-FidinHiyFrHlC.
1533 ff. 121b SI. X.C.Ma.
Ask f or Catatocui Ns. 33
CALIFORNIA Tul" county
Tho
fruit
land
and
of sunshlno.
notvenr. wo
storms; mora perfect days than any placo In tho
worm, 1AW prices ror koou lanu, pioniy or water
for Irrigation. Mind produces two crop In n sea
son; vegetables In tho winter. Healthy climate,
puro water; frosh fruit tho year round. Plenty of
employment; good waipir. Wo sell largo and small
tracts on easy terms. Coino at once, oven If you
havo only a fow hundred dollars, nnd got located
before prices go higher. Free booklets and particu
lar!. Wrlto lo Goltlon West Koal Ustato Co.,
VImhIIm, CullforulH, Dept.83.
Brain Leaks
Shrewd Financiering
"These great financiers are de
serving of our praise," declared the
speaker of the evening. "They have
made 'possible giant business enter
prises. We may deride them now,
but future generations will revere
the names of Rockefeller, Morgan,
Carnegie and oth "
"Pardon me," interrupted a little
woman in the audience. "But you
have not named the greatest flnan-
I . .0 41.tr. vnnni'lf1nn "
"Ah, I would be glad to hear you
suggest the names of greater ones,"
said the speaker.
"T will not call the names, for
there are too many," replied the lit
tle woman, "but I'll tell you who
Regeneration works from the heart
outward.
Only mercenary souls will do
their Christmas shopping now.
If you are a real Christian you
don't havo to tell your neighbor
about it.
To make a mistake is not a crime
it is the tangible evidence of an
effort to do something.
Some people even call it ill luck
when they stumble the second time
over the same obstacle.
A whole lot of moral dyspepsia
gets through the world under the
disguise of religious fervor.
We know a lot of people who are
always exhausting their energies in
telling what they are about to do.
The man who gives his own busi
ness due attention seldom has any
time to attend to the business of
others.
Perhaps it is all for the best that
the world does not take the college
graduate quite as seriously as the
graduate takes the world.
What has become of those good
old people who spent so much time
discussing baptism that they forgot
to discuss brotherly love?
We dare Wizard Burbank to
tackle the job of producing beans,
peas and radishes that can outgrow
ragweedB an'd sunflowers.
"Wisdom is good, with an inher
itance," says Solomon. Reminds us
of the staunch patriots who are al
ways cheering for the old flag and
an appropriation.
Gold Watch fj i vfn
and RING v W L.n
FOR SELLING POST CARDS
VTo poaUlfalr (Ita both a Yamoui Alloa
VTrh Hun Ytlnd, IxaotlluIlT grat4
Hoi 14 (J0I4 Laid tui, iMfrlcauMOTCtctvt,
laeury lela, tnaraawco Bte Mi.
Irani aiaon homo tloia Laid i
Jlliir in wiui a Cncu (Mm .
Prlllnir llkr aStO diamond.'"
lor icl.lne StOBarliarti of bri
tlfol blah arada Artl'otU'ardjat lUfDtmuli.i
Order 90 iiacLayf a and wbf n fold tad f 3 and jra !
llxtr lend VBtl Iha urnl,.,. rtmrn-trt Tttmlai
AMftuti WATCH CO., 2ejt. I, Chicago
vw'a3iL7fjalNpVAfl'
'Ml
u u.
WE SHIP APPROVAL
aithout a ttil atposu, prepay me ucigai
and allow lO DAYS TREK Tit Iftb.
IT ONLY COSTS one cent to learn oar
unheard of fritti asd marvtUut tfftrt
on iilchest erode 1509 model tricycles.
FACTORY PRICES XcYeS
iat of tire from ttrtyent ttttnyrk$
until you write for our urge Art caUlM
tnd learn our vmxdtrul frcejUfon oa 6n
jample bicycle eolag lo your town.
RIDER AGENTS 5S?flr ffl
money exhibiting and telllnc our bicycle.
We 811 cheaper than any other factory.
Tlrea. Coaator-Brakea, tingle wheel.
. .nr mwA mttnAtA at half utttai irittM
Do Wot Walt J write leday for our jttul efftr.
MEAD CYCLE CO., Dept. IS 177, CHICAQ
T " KS,
n 11' VaA 1 1 An
MlHivy mm
mm
SthiaSSSSSS thTnloudly Uhey-are. 'They are the hundreds
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A BENEFICENT RULE
"So you are 94 years old. To
what do you attribute your long
life?"
"A good many things have con
tributed to it, the most important, I
think, being the care which I have
always taken not to get into a fight
with a bigger man .than myself."
Chicago Record-Herald.
DO YOU HEAR WELL?
A iroyDMSjuirvx, IXVJEXTXOX FOR
l'IZOI'L.12 WHO AUE 11AUU Oh"
MSAMXa.
HO MORE UNSIGHTLY TRUMPETS, HORNS
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perfectly ordinary
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small, yet powerful.
Recommended and
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A wonderful inven-
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isfied users.
A Thorough. Trial in Your Own Homo
lief ore You JPurehaoe.
The Wears Ear Phone Co.,
48 Dyche Vide., Randolph. Cor. State
tit. CHICAGO.
IA91
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