. I
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volume 9, 'Number 22
The Commoner.
10
stead of saying she didn't have a
thing fit to .wear she hurried right
upstairs and got ready."
fa
ALADDIN HOUSE $12(
Knotkl-lown dwillln houMi. yrnmar '.
barm and Wt mm ri run. rn v m
r""J" "'! -Y.... All liimhar rut In lit. IMait.r-
board, millwork. rooting, hardwara. paint inelud.0
North AmarlCJn Con.trucllon Co.. Bay City. Mich.
lor tnnip'- "- ," 7;T.Vj;r i-.ih.h
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PATENTS
Wntion E. Coleman,
1'ntcnt Lawyer, Wonhlnglon,
D.C. Advlco and Iwokn free.
Ilntca reasonable Highest rcfercncca. IlentBcrvlccft.
AQrNTC rORTIlAITflSe,rBAMn81Se,
fldCill I O nhee pictures lo.itorooBCopo 23o,
Ylws lo. 30 dayo orfldlt. Panaplen Si Ontalejr Fre.
CmlmU4U4 rrtrlt Co., MO-US W idaau BU, Chlttf
PirMifcnKon until allowed. Frco Hooks,
JTUlVUlJ KULLKIl A FUl.I.Klt, WaMnglon, I). C
TOBAGDO ""-"' SALESMEN
Oood pay, steady work nnd promotion. Kxporlenco
unnecessary nit wo will rlvo complete Instruction.
Dan villa Tobacco Co., Box M SO. Danville. Va.
Salesmen Wanted.
Biliary or commlMlon. llouso established 1879.
J. II. Cosby A Hro Jlox A 12, Danvlllo, Vn.
Pnrru re SI'X'IMCKD ok ricis
Hltn d ItKTUIlNKD
Frco report as to Patentability. Illustrated Child
Hook, nnd List or Tnvontlons Wanted, scntfroo.
1CVAN8, WILICJSNS & CO., Washington. I). 0.
A Municipally owned
Irrigation system.
Unlimited wntor as frco na tho district school.
Why not lmvo an Ideal homo In tho heart of Cali
fornia? How to net It, Wrlto for Irco booklet.
Dopt. C, Hoard of Trade, MoUunto, Cal.
met Jv- F m VI W Jr ari J f gf
if? .. ...x jk r M "
1WBaaaBaBia"awi"
DO YOU WANT A 1IOMK7-WHS ITAVK 100 OK
tho best larma In Kouthen.storn Kansas on tho easi
est terms ol any land sold In tho Htuto. Bond for
copy of tho Houtheaflt6rii Knnsofl ITomcsookor,
tho host monthly land paper published It Is free.
Address, TJio Allun County lnvoHtniont Co.,
JLoiiKtou, Kau.
SAVE YOUR OLD SAFETY RAZOR BLADES
Glvoyoitr noiv ono a true, volvoty, kcou-
oultliuruilKO hynmnmont'fi stropping with Iho
Ideal Itoldor. Hut don't buy uny moro now a
hole blHrioHl A fow seconds will Klvo discarded
ones now life innko them hotter than now. Thir
ty (lnyH trlul I JUouoy hack 11 not utlttllod I
Packed In tmvolltip caso, postpaid, 91.
IDISAt, IIOT.DKIt CO., Uox 10, Canton, O.
Rider Agents Wanted
in each town to ride and exhibit sample
iqoo model. Write for Special Offer.
1000 Modols &MiM0 ZffjCJT
with Coajter-Brakes and Puncture-Proof tires.
2007 1008 Modal mT 4Hr
an or Dost maJtas v ?MMi
BOO Second-Hand Wheals
All makes and models, fO, m0
CXKxiasttrtv , y9 0 o
,c,. yao tory Clearing Sale.
We "' On Approval without a
cent dtforit, qy the freight and allow
TEH DAYS' FREE TMAL.
Aires, constor-brnkoB. pt. ro.
. ,lllvl"uunutle,lialf usual price. Do not
iJiVil1 X.0 cet our haloes id otter. If rite n.
U2AD CXCUS CO., Dojpt.N177 Chicago
" sfsmSJT
Emm
wj rlfpiCjinl
At tho Bull Gaino
With Dorothy, on pleasure bent,
I to tho hall game took my way;
My mind upon the game Intent
And Dorothy, so blithe and gay.
Up in the grandstand, side by side,
With score cards ready for the
game,
Wo watched the players leap and
glide,
And learned to call each ono by
name.
"Play ball!" the umpire shrieked.
And then
I strove to teach the lass each
play.
"Now that's a 'strike,' " I said, "and
when
He strikes three times for him
'good day.' "
"O, yes," the dainty lass replied,
While glancing 'round from where
she sat,
"He strikes three times. O, Will,"
she cried,
"Just look at that girl's frightful
hat!"
'ball,'" I next-ex-
will give the man a
Banking By Mail Made
Safe in Oklahoma.
Hundreds of Honks failed in 1903 thousands
of DKPOSITOHS had tholr savlugsjoopar
dliedir not lost.
Avoid bolniT amonp tho losers In 1009. by
kecnlne y our account In nn Oklahoma Stato
Hank.
Ecposltors from 31 states testify to our abil
ity to handle your business satisfactorily,
iiooklet containing law frco on application.
Guaranty State Bank,
Muskogee, - Oklahoma.
J. D. BENEDICT, Prcsldont. M. G. HASKELL, Cashlor.
BRILLIANTS
What balm, what life is in thy ray!
To feel theo is such real bliss,
That, had the world no joy but this,
To sit in sunshine calm and sweet
.It were a world too exquisite
.For man to leave it for the gloom,
(The deep, cold shadow of tho tomb!
Moore."
MRS ABDUL HAMID
A glaring omission in tho dispatch
es is news concerning what is to be
, dono with Mrs. Abdul Hamid. There
are about ono thousand of her, and
she are getting ' nervous. Philadel
phia Inquirer. - -
"And that's a
plained,
"And four
She , thanked' me for the knowledge
gained,
A wjtching s,mile upon her face.
"But, pray," she asked, "what will
ho do
With that big saclc you say is
first?'
I don't see what O, Will, did you
See that girl's dress? It's sure
the worst!"
"'Rah, that's a' 'hit!'" I shrieked
with glee.
"Now beat it out! Yah, that's the
stuff!"
"O, how," asked Dorothy of me,
"Can you use language that's so
rough?"
"Why, 'twas a 'hit;' a beauty, too,"
l said witn something of restraint.
"Quite so," she said. "O, look,
Will; do!
How can a woman use such
paint?"
"Slide! Slide, you dub!" I yelled
with rage.
"O, rats; you run just like a
hearse.
Of course you're out back to your
cage!"
That much aloud aside, much
worse.
"Why, he's not out; I see him still,"
Quoth Dorothy in great surprise.
He's only goodness gracious, Will;
That loud-dressed woman squints
nor eye!"
"We've got their pitcher in a hole!"
I yelled, and loudly stamped my
feet.
"Why, Will; he's standing on that
knoll,"
Said Dorothy in accents sweet.
"I-mean," said I in sheer despair,
"We've got him o'er a barrel,
dear."
"A barrel? I O, Will; her hair
Is blondined sure; it shows from
here!"
Back from the game we took our
way,
And Dorothy was full of glee.
"O, I could watch them every day "
She said, and coyly glanced at me.
Tho game was .great-rwon 3 to 2 "
Said I. "'Twas won by bully ball!"
"O, yes; but, Will, -why do they do
Such yelling, dear?" And that
was all. -
Tho Treating Habit
Lincoln, the capital city of Ne
braska, is a "dry" town that' is,
there are no saloons in Lincoln. This,
however, is a matter of recent oc
currence. A few days ago four printers
started from a newspaper office,
headed for the base ball grounds.
Their course took them by four
buildings formerly occupied by sa
loons, which impelled one of them
to jokingly remark:
"I'd ask you in to have some
thing, but everything is-closed."
"O, not all the places are closed,"
said another one. "Come in here
with me and have something."
, With, this the speaker headed into
la clothing store, followed by three
curious comrades.
"Give me a lay-down collar, size
sixteen, and give each of these fel
lows the kind of a collar they want."
Each man gave his size and style
and the clerk wrapped, the four col
lars in separate packages. Each man
took his package and walked out.
Not a word was said for about a
block, and then the man who hAd
first spoken blurted out:
"Say, wouldn't all of us had a lot
of collars and ties,' and shirts and
such things if we'ti had good sense?"
Speaking of Cuts
"Let's go fishing. The railroads
are .advertising cut rates."
"Can't do it. My garden is ad
vertising cut worms." :
Out of Place
The tariff commission having con
tinued in session for 'steen .weeks,
and being somewhat wearied by its
arduous labors, the chairman re
marked: "Have the representatives of the
steel industry concluded?"
They had.
"And of the sugar interests?"
They had.
"And the wool, cotton, lumber,
iron, coke, coal, oil and cordage in
terests?" All had. finished.
"Are there any other interests that
desire to be heard?" inquired the
chairman.
"If you please, Mr. Chairman," re
marked a small man in a timid tone
of voice, "I represent a few interests
that desire to be heard."
"Well, what interests do you rep
resent?" v. asked the chairman;
gruffly.
"I represent the people who have
to buy what all these other interests
make and control the consumers."
Immediately the commission ad
journed, almost in a gale of laughter.
Brain Leaks
The will to do is half the battle.
What would rest you might weary
the other fellow.
We never believe in the doctrine of
total depravity until tho umpire
gives the worst of it to the home
team.
The idea some men have of home
is that it is a place where they can
get. waited on without giving tips.
If wisdom always came with years
there, would not be so many foolish
gentlemen of middle age.
Poor as we are, we've got more
than Mr. H H. Rogers' took with him
after a' lifetime spent in accumulation.
JAUNTS FOR JOY
"Controlling small western states,
which pass among their sisters for
sovereign, is a diversion only a few
of us can afford. In Salt Lake City
are located the home offices of the
Union Pacific, the Oregon Short Line,
the Central Pacific, the Salt Lake,
Los Angeles and San Pedro Line, and
several Rio Grande Western branch
es. The legislature of Utah is now
in session; privileges it grants to
these corporations they may carry
into other states. Of widespread in
terest, therefore; become Mr. Harri
man's many plans to lfghten the bur
den of this legislature's daily labors.
Before it was a week old, each of
its members1 had been provided 'with
passes "good only within the state
of Utah, not godd for any part of an
interstate trip," on alj of the state's
railroads. To showhow liberal Mr.
Harriman could be 'to one of whom
he thought much, each, legislator and
his dependents, unto the third cousin
of the colored doorkeeper's friend,
was provided with a Union Pacific
pass, in spite of the fact that an Ore
gon Short Line pass, already provid
ed, carried its holder over all of Har
rlman's Utah trackace. As the legis
lative grind was beginning, a week's
end junket was arranged for a nine
car special (diier attached wi.th
meals free.) to the northern border
of. the state. Lincoln's birthday ws
fittingly celebrated with another com
plimentary jnnket,aqrdss thp 'Great
Salt .Lake cutoff. When a joint. sen
ate and house committee found that
it needed to inspect a Green Tiver
bridge .site on the state's .eastern
border; Pullman cars to carry thirty
people were promptly put at the com
mittee's disposal. This hospitality is
not sudden. After the legislature in
1901 had passed a law, with less than
one hour's deliberation in both,
houses, granting the Union Pacific
the right to increase its capitalization
$100,000,000, the legislature was
bundled upon a special train of Pull
man cars bound for Boise. Two years
ago, when extravagant railroad de
mands appeared in the legislature
under the guise of "a bill for an act
to codify existing railroad legisla
tion," President Stephen H. Lowe of
the state senate raised his voice in
protest that ''existing railroad legis
lation" was the shame of Utah. He
was eliminated from public life.
Collier's Weekly.
Awful Shock
"I hear that Biggerstaff isi very
sick."
"Yes; he met with a terrible ner
vous shock last evening."
"How did it happen?" ! 'v
"He suggested to his wife that
they call on some friends, and in-
Cannot Rest
Tour appetite is gone. What little
you eat distresses you. Strength Is
failing are bilious. You have head
ache, backache, feel blue and melan
cholyand cannot rest or sloop. The
fact is your nerves are unstrung, and
you are on tho verge of nervous pros
tration. They must bo strengthened,
renewed. They will not cure thom-
Tl!rseSyouUwlTlUflndhij;0 a nerV rmedy'
Dr. Miles' Nervine
nJ If PrPared f?r just suoh ailments,
h- LlSfiartiieor;faIllnff remedy, because
bacTtoriealthf bUUdS th nerveS
If allowed to continue, stomach. Icid-
adLrf n? llver troVbles will soon $e
added to your already overflowinjr
measure of midery. uveruowmg
wi? U?Mrtromi nervus Prostration.
When I began talcing Dr. Miles,' Ner
vine, I couldn't hold anything in my
Sfw8' 2.orC S?t 'from ne room tS tffi
MRS. CHAS. LANDIIUM, Carthago. Mo.
SUm tn iv,and so we authorize dfug
tl&;mow flrst otUo
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