W(PWPJ "l'"r
JANUARY 15, "i'909 r
The Commoner.
13
Start 1909 right
The bank failures for 1908 ran into the
hundreds, the. DEPOSITORS whose savings
were jeopardized numbered THOUSANDS.
We hope you were not amon them, You
can avoid being among the unfortunate
ones in 1909 by keeping your account in
a state bank of Oklahoma.
Banking by mail is made safe in Oklahoma.
We have depositors from 29 states. We
are especially fitted to handle deposits by
mail, Booklet on application.
GUARANTY STATE BANK
M. G. HASKELL, Cashier. MUSKOGEE, OKLA.
"I MADE $12 BE
Selling This 7-Piece Kitchen Set"
from iiwn ttatement of IT. 8. OUKNISaUAU.
AGENTS
?k
sgTiWk
SSI
are coining money
ailing from CO to 500
tela per week. -Yoq
can do It. Send your
bddrem today and let
ns PIIOVE IT. Experi
ence unnecessary. Wo
thoir yon bow to make
f3 to $10 a day. OUT
IT FREE to worker.
THOMAS MF8. CO.
471 Homo Bldg.
Dayton, Ohio
Gold Watch fi 1 1FLT
and RINGiLLLtliSf
FOR SELLING POST CARDS
Wo pot lively erire both a Famoni Alton
WAtthJJieat Wind, btantlfnlly engraTed
Solid Gold Laid cue, American movement,
laeiory te.lea, guaranteed Hre .l.
iimr tet vtiui a cuneo uem
parkllBK like a S50 dlaaiondj
for frflilnff QOnaeliaptioflifaii.
uiDi nicn craaArtiotivaraatlUeperpaek.(
Order SO package and when told enu u 2 and we will poll-
tlTelyiend yon tEiottk,rlnr and chain.
ALTON WATOU.CO,, Dcpt. SCI Chicago.
mjk
ninu ia-i
AGENTS EARN 75 to $260 a month soiling
Novolty Knives with photos BRYAN fc KERN.
Buy ono and show your loyalty. No. 118, 2-bl. $1,00.
Catalog shows many styles. Wo decornto trnriapa
rcnt handles with any photos, name, address, lode,
crabloms, etc Razor Stool blades, guaranteed.
Greatsellors.Blgfcommisslon.Wrltcfor agent's terms
Novelty Cutlery Co., 66 Bar St., Canton, 0.
PATENTS that
Oar 3 book for Ibt) tori mailed on receipt of 0 ete . itaaps
COar:
R.8.
t A. B.LACEY, Washington, P.O. , Estab. 18G9
BpTl
1
Ik T U II A CURE scut by express to you on
Ad lllfflH Freo Trial. If It cures send $1; If
i mi not, don't. Give express ofllco.
National Chemical Co., 764 Ohio. Ave., Sidney', O.
the Union Central
Life Insurance
Company
of Cincinnati. Ohio '
ESTABLISHED IN 1807
Jesso R. Clark, President.
.ASSETS OVER $02,000,000.00
950,220,000 -over' 80 per
cent of the assets Invest
ed la flrst mortgage farm
loans la tklrty-tkrco states.
' Largo aaiJtHcrcKslngr dlvl
dehds to jollcyaoiaers.
.TJp-tto-atilp0)ley contracts
recently 'out.
';' .. .
-
Good Territprij&r Reliable
Address ;ttio tJoinpar
Agents.
Company
Another Rcminisccnco
Bocaratone, Fla., January 1. To
the Architect, Whether Common or
Not: "J. H. McG." tells In The Com
moner of December 25 what a tough
time he had with his hoots when a
boy. Good gracious, why didn't he
grease them? Greasing boots was
a regular Saturday night job when
I was a boy, forty-five years ago. The
grease was a mixture of tallow and
lard, or neats-foot oil when we could
afford it, with a little soot to give
color. He was quite an expert who
could dry the grease into the boots
over a hot stove without burning
the leather. Jumping into a pair of
warm, pliable boots was like enter
ing the pearly gates. The boots were
bought in the fall and one pair had
to last until spring! Two pairs of
boots in one winter was an extrava
gance not to be considered for an
instant. If, by reckless usage or
poor material, the boots failed to
fulfill their mission for the alloted
time, we forthwith returned to na
ture by the barefoot route. With the
first balmy days of spring our little
hoofs began to yearn for the virgin
soil, but the mandate was that we
couldn't go barefoot until the first
yellow butterfly hove in sight, "sweet
harbinger of spring." The second
mandate was, once off, off for all
summer. Then, sometimes, when
some fool winter weather planked
down In the lap of spring we hardly
knew whether we had any feet or
not. Great fun to rouse the cows
up on frosty mornings and get the
benefit of the warm spots they bad
made.
Do you remember how you were
initiated into the art of milking?
My father was away from home late
one evening when I was eleven or
twelve years old, and I thought he
would be overjoyed to find the cow
milked upon his return. So I brave
ly tackled the job and with much
labor on my part and much patience
on the cow's part, I succeeded In
extracting most of the milk. When
father got home I casually remarked:
"I have milked." Then he casually
remarked: "Is that so? Well, you
can keep right on milking." And
so long as I remained at home he
never milked another cow.
Well, it didn't hurt me any.
F. H. C.
P. S. All this happened In
Michigan.
In Washington
, After a pleasant call upon the rep
resentative from my district I
thought it only courteous to inquire
if he cared to join me in a good
cigar. He opined he would, but up
on emerging from the house he
looked about with the air of one
who feared a hold-up, or something
of the kind.
"What is the matter?" I queried.
"O, I'm just looking around to see
if I can spot the particular secret
service agent who has been assigned
to shadow me."
Having located the dark com
plexioned gentleman who was on the
scent we proceeded to the. nearest
cigar stand.
" Duly Acknowledged ., ,
The architect of this department
stops the press long enough to ac
knowledge the receipt of a pair of
fine, sky-blue, fancy-trimmed sus
penders from some unknown but ap
preciated friend. The postmark on
the package Is rather blurred, but
seems "to be "Sharon Grove, Ky."
But wherever it may bo from, and
whoever tho donor may bo, tho archi
tect will wear the suspenders and for
onco in his lifetime rejoice at being
the proud possessor of two pairs of
suspenders at ono and tho same time.
But better than tho possession of tho
suspenders is the knowledge that
down in Sharon Grove lives a friend.
And may that friend live to enjoy
scores and scores of Happy Christ
mas days and Prosperous New
Years.
Warning
The new congressman, anxioys to
get a line on what might be coming
to him in the national capital, visit
ed Madam Graftleigh, the world
famed seeress. After crossing her
palm with something more than sil
ver the congressman extended his
palm for reading.
"Ah, I see some one," exclaimed
the seeress. "He seems to be fol
lowing you. Beware 'of a dark,
stealthy man, with something bright
and pointed pinned to his shirt under
his vest. He Is "
"By thunder, that's ono of Wil
kio's men on my trail already,"
growled the new member.
As .Usual
Now comes the man who said he'd
swear . :
Off all his habits bad,
And start the new year fair and
square
In manner bright and glad
Now comes this man, aH we have
said,
Wltb pipe a-goin', then
Remarks, "Old man, I thought In
stead I'd quit In 1910."
At Last
"Ah, my fortune Is made!" ex
claimed the inventor.
"What have you got now?" quer
ied his wife, who had learned by
bitter experience not to grow too
sanguine.
"I've hit upon the Idea of making
it a match at one end and a tooth
pick at the other!" cried the in
ventor. Then the wife really did begin
entertaining hopes of a new silk
dress and possibly a visit back to the
old borne.
Gustatory
You may talk of royal banquets
Till your throat Is raw and hoarse;
You may sing the alleged virtues
OX each dainty little course;
But I'm going to sing the praises
In a loud and lusty tone
Of the fine old home-made sausage,
Buttermilk and hot corn pone.
Disillusioned
"Do you believe In ghosts?"
"Well, I did once," mused Ham
let DeFatterly, "but that was be
fore I embarked upon the theatrical
stage."
Being not unacquainted with stage
lore we saw the point and piloted
the way to the nearest beanery.
Papa Goose Rhyme
If all the world were kerosene
And you could be tho seller,
And the sun be a shining bright
The livelong day and through the
night
Wouldn't It rock a feller?
Standard1 aSKiSsaa
Bone Cnttcr jssss?
awy dry bone, meat
er grtelw. Gaeranteed Urn beet of all bone cnttcra
or money refunded. Runs eIt, cuu lastctt
laata longest. Gnts bone acroae the (train, glrinff
KreatetfccdiM value. The Standard la tlio only
loelUvo aatoriMtlo feeding cnttcr built, Jinn many
mproTcmenU found In nootlicr, U low inprico
and built to Hand the wofic. Huron
different sizes
i from S4.7S to
f 135, for hand
and powor.
CUtNlOWRNO,
BBBVHaBBBBBBBWKGsBK1 t bIsBBbV
BSk jBBF vAsfPBl I
9SBBBBBBBBBS0!H.r 1 fV
!0
. . . J)r,co 8-w
Stripped on 10 days' trial
ree. Wrlto for f rco cat-
Try Oac
FREE
free.
aloK, prices and f rco trial
puw,
BTJUTrURr) ROXK
CUTTER CO.,
Uford, Kate.
Asthma
cured boforo you pay. I
will sond anv KUtlarer n
bottlo of LANE'S ASTIl-
E It E E MA CUKE. If It cures you sonri'rno
r n a. &. J00 Jf ,t loes not ton,t a,vo OXm
Brcss ofllce. Addtcss 1 J. LANE, JJox JL,. C
t. Mary'H, Kansas.
PATENTS
ECUltEI OR FEB
RETURNED
Free report m to Patentability. Ultutratcd QnUU
Boole, and 1.1st of Jnvontlonx Wanted, sent free.
EVANS, AV1L.KENS & CO,, Wahlnicton,D. 0.
MEN WANTED QUICKLY by big Chicago
Mall Order IIouso to distribute catalogues, adver
tise, etc. $25.00 a week; tCO.OO expense nllowanco
first month. No oxporlonco required. Manager,
Dept. 119, 385 Wabash Avonue, Chicago.
TOBACCO
FACTORY
WANTS
SALESMEN
Good pay, steady work and promotion. Experience
unnecessary as we will give comploto instructions.
Danville Tobacco Cs Box 0 , Dan villa, Va.
Oil fk Kets tho hottest Democratic paper in U. 8.
UUli one year. The lloraet, Hlxby.N. 0.
ECZEMA
CAN BE OUREO. Kr mild, aoothlnc, guarnUd ear
doei U and FRUt bAMPl.K proraa tt. 870 TO TUB 1TCH1KU
tad earn to ttay. TVK1TK M0W-T0DA.Y.
Dr. Cannaday , 174 ParK Square, Sedalla.Mo.
ASTHMA
TfyouarosufTcrinr with
asthma I would llko to
send you posltlvo proof
- and a sample orray asm
CURE FREE macurorreoofcharKO. I
havomany letters from
all over tho country tolling how my euro has cured
sufferers of this dreadful disease Let mosondtbem
to you. Perhaps somo one Hvlnff near you bnsbcon
cured by my treatment, or somo ono you know. I
will sond you positive proof of how I euro asthma
nnd a rfamplo froo of clinrco. T. Gorliam, 647
Sheparcl Dldf, Grand Itaplda, Mich.
Stomach Troubles
Quickly Cured
My Ptpfopad for the Cure of Indl-
gistiin, Dyspepsia Etc.,
Sent Free to Jt
Free Relief fe Every Man er Woman
-V
4ll
-P
jtjT i i i . . ' fci
Ert , , I , , 1 1 rrTB
. I want you to writ tot one of my powerful
S1.C0 Feptopads for tho cur of all stomach Ills,
Dyspepata, Jiidlfjeatl&ri, Acute Gastric Catarrh.
MeartiHira, Loss of Appetite, Palna lit Pit o$
Steasscb, Censtlpatlofi, Bowel Palrts, ete. No
matter what form of stomach, trouble yon have,
let me relieve you free. Tblpoffer Is extended to
any manor woman. I will do Junt cxaotly as I sayl
will do. No charge whatever for this powerful
stomach draft. Wear it; aat and enjoy your mealai
without pain or distress. , If you are really sj
sufferer Just send 10 ct to pay packing and
mailing: expenses, and one of my 51.00 Pcptopada
f Stomach Drafts) "wfll be sent to you free, Vritei
Dr. G. C."YOUNG. 418 National Bank
Bldg., Jackson, Mich,
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