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The Commoner.
NOVEMBER 20, 108
13
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Some Thoughts on Thanksgiving
There is no hard and fast rule I
about making the last Thursday in
November Thanksgiving day. It is
merely a custom. It is therefore a
"moveable holiday."
Governor Bradford of New Eng
land issued the first Thanksgiving
proclamation, the cause being the ar
rival from England of a vessel full
of supplies for the starving New Eng
enders. Thanksgiving day as we
observe it, however, did not become
a recognized national institution till
President Lincoln issued his proclam
ation setting aside the last Thursday
in November as "Thanksgiving day."
Since that time it lias been faithfully
observed by every president with one
exception, and ho issued a Thanks
giving proclamation. In 1865 Presi
dent Johnson made the first and
only departure from the "last
Thursday in November" rule by fix
ing upon the first Thursday in De
cember as Thanksgiving day. The
governors of every state save Rhode
Island followed the president's lead.
Rhode Island insisted on the regular
day.
Does anybody really know how it
came about that the turkey is con
sidered an absolute necessity on the
Thanksgiving dinner table? The
common or garden variety of turkey
certainly has nothing to Tecommend
it over the chicken unless it be its
size. It seems strange that in the
old days -when venison, bear meat,
squirrel and other game was plenti
ful that the turkey should become
the Thanksgiving leader. "Will some
one kindly explain this turkey business?
Twenty-five or thirty years ago
everybody went to church on Thanks
giving. Now everybody goes to the
football games. Then they go home
and are thankful that they did not
see any more killed and wounded.
A New York surgeon declares that
the human stomach may be easily
reduced one-third. This, however,
has no particular interest for us at
this time of the year. What we want
is some knowledge of how to enlarge
the Thanksgiving purse about three
thirds so as to supply a lot of stom
achs that expect to be considerably
distended about 2 p. m., Thursday,
November 26.
The late Captain Crouch of Omaha
was a gallant soldier in a Kentucky
confederate regiment, and he was a
mine of good stories to the newspa
per boys of that city. Sitting in the
World-Herald office one day he told
of a Thanksgiving experience in
1864.
"We -didn't .have anything in par
ticular to be thankful for that year,
caid Captain Crouch, "and. on our
aide there wasn't any -proclamation.
We knew of Lincoln's proclamation,
however and we discussed it in
camp. A few days before Thanks
giving according to tne normem -endar
I set out at the head of a
scouting party down In the Tennes
see mountains. There were i five of
us, and we scouted through the hills
until Ave -were plunib worn out with
out finding anything worth le
There didn't seem to bo a Yank
within a thousand miles, although
Q b-vr ia hills were full of em.
The night Ipefore Thanksgiving we
nttsviiAri Komn -npjir .a .little 'spring.
building a' fire that fried our meagre
supply oi oacon anu oaiceu our pone,
but didn't show far enough to bo
seen by the enemy.
"About 5 o'clock in the morning
we were awakened by a Yank who
yelled 'Hello' and showed a flag of
truce. He said he belonged to a
scouting party of five or six and
wanted to know If wo would 'ceaBo
hostilities' for a while and do a lit
uo swapping-, mat strucK us, an
right, and we agreed. A half hour
later our two parties were snuggling
up to a warm fire and swapping. We
had plenty of tobacco, but it had
been a long time since we'd drank
anything in the way of coffee except
that made from parched rye and
wheat. The Yanks had real coffee
in plenty but they were honing for
tobacco. They also had plenty of
hard tack and we had more tobacco.
"We swapped tobacco and coffee
and jacknives, and played a myste
rious game with cards in which va
rious things changed hands, until
about 11 o'clock. Then one. of the
Yanks suddenly exclaimed:
" 'By George, boys; this is Thanks
givin! Let's celebrate.'
"Beinig chock full of real coffee
and having accumulated a store of
Yankee notions as a result of our
mysterious card game wo endorsed
the Idea. So we set about getting
dinner. We combined our stock of
bacon, the Yanks furnished coffee
and hard tack and we baked some
genuine ash cake. I've eaten many
a Thanksgiving dinner since then,
but that was the best one I ever set
my teeth in. Say, boys, I can just
tiiRtfi that genuine coffee yet.
"Then we rolled over closer to the
fire and smoked until the atmosphere
was blue.
About 5 o'clock the leader of the
Yankee party yawned and remarked
that it was time to go. So we bade
nn.oh other trood bvo and the Yanks
shouldered their muskets and started
away. Looking back over his
Rh milder the leader shouted:
" 'This truce ends in just fifteen
minutes. Then you Johnnies look
out!'
"Fifteen minutes later we were
again sneaking around under cover.
Just about supper time I felt a burn
ing sensation In the calf of my left
leg and heard the crack or a musKei.
Don't know which one or tne yanns
was responsible, but he took a piece
of flesh out of my leg with that bul
let, and left me limping lor a month.
Tint the erallon or two of Teal coffee
J consumed that day amply paid me
for the suffering."
make such a horriblo mess of pot
hooks and thon expect a free Ameri
can citizen and printer to wear his
brain to a frazzlo trying to decipher
'em. The follow that wrote this a
a '
Devil Geo, Bo, don't say no more.
If, youso knew who writ dat stuff
youso would "
Printer Don't give a rap who
wrote it. Whoever ho is he ought
to have it crammed downJiis throat
with a"
Slam! Bams! C-r-r-raBh-h-h!
Biff!
When the noise subsided all that
could bo seen was a wrecked com
posing room. A moment later tho
door to tho editorial room closed
softly and a man resumed his swivel
chair after depositing a-badly scarred
stick In tho corner.
"Quite a romlnder of old times,"
ho muttered as ho picked up his
pen. and resumed writing on a review
of a pile of books in front of him.
Being naturally a little curious
we took a poop at some of tho tilos
under rovlow. We saw:
"Alone in Cuba,' "Nnturo Fakirs
I Have Finished," "Trusts I Have
Busted," "Race Suicide and Other
Fables," "What Labor Ought to
Have," "Climbing San Juan Hill and
Laying Down Before Jim Hill."
In 20lo
Having at last gained an entrance
into "soBfiicty" by vlrtuo of his In
herited millions, Mr. DoNorgan Von
CromblltcrrrockH sought an author
ity on horuldry aud expressed a wish
for n coat-of-arms.
"Explain to mo your family and
financial connections," suggested tho
authority on heraldry.
This was done with a wealth of
detail and circumstance. A fow days
lator tho young man was given tho
design.
It was a Bteam shovel rampant
with a Panama canal contract couch
ant, on a shield of shimmering silver
that looked vory much liko an ox
panso of bluo water.
In Doubt
"I seo that old Grabborly Is spend
ing money with a lavish hand."
"Yes, and I don't know whether
ho is purchasing immunity or more1
ly having a fow twinges of a lony
dormant conscience."
Tho Week After
I can not sing tho old scngs;
I can not sing tho now.
My voice is full of whiskers
And I am feeling bluo.
Brain Leaks
First prepare your Thanksgiving
dinner. Then hustle out - and find
somebody who hasn't any dinner and
mighty little to be thankful for, and
bid them to the feast.
In 100D
Scene, a weekly newspaper office
in Gotham.
Characters, a printer and the office
"devil "
punter "Now who the blankety,
.blank and double dash used his feet
to write such a norrime mess oj. -
eV&h! Don't talk o
10 Pointer "Why not? It gives me
oHfv to mv hatred ana.
UiAZZZZZlf. anVman vho.
oilier iiuuu -"v, w ..
Fine feathers make expensive hats.
A fight for right Is never wholly
lost.
A receipt for pew rent Is not a
passport to heaven.
The man who leads must oxpect
some stabs in tho back.
Tho man who has never exper
ienced trouble can never appreciate
joy.
There is one thing worse than a
begin.
Faith may stumblo in tho dark,
but doubt will tumble in broad day
light. There are some people who think
they are cutting 'cross lots to
heaven.
Some mon take an interest In poli
tics without having any principle
about it.
Richos may buy immunity from
men but that's the only kind of im
munity it will buy.
Wo always feel sorry for the
vounc medical graduate who can
not raise a set of whiskers.
Wo are now encaged in trying to
invent a pay envelope that just can't
be opened until wo get home.
It will npt suffice for men to open
their mills if they shut their eyes
and hearts to truth and justice.
Tho man who thinks he Is getting
the worst of it has only to wait a
while to be convinced of his error.
They may have beat us to a frazzle
but they already had us messaged
and advised and coached and nagged
to a frazzle.
At forty-five we wish we could as
mitaklv learn to let trouble alone as
the baby learns to keep away from
the stove.
A lot of money that is often spent
on a wedding would have been better
if used to purchase a safety net for
the fall out of tho honeymoon.
Tt'a difficult to make tho average
woman understand the electoral col
lege business. But we've never yei
iinnrri a man "who could explain
;with any degree of success Just why
it exists.
A Fine
Lyon & Heaiy
Organ, t22 weoit
Think of the pleasumand satisfaction
you would get from owning one of thes
beautiful instruments. PoK5css a far
sweeter tone quality than other makc
as countless testimonials received during
the past 45 years amply attest. Write
for our new illustrated catalog today,
LYON & HEALYp
S9 Amn Mr, CtttmtHf
C -PATENTS that PROTECT--
Oar 3 toe far larta ur rottU4 o rtaclpl of 6 tu. iUmh 1
B.8.tA.B.lACEV,Wahnftfln,0.C. EtHb.1St3.
TOBACCO
FACTORY
WANTS
SALESMEN
ri.,..l ... .l,n.W nrnrlrniwl nrnllLIitlnil. 1 tlnrinrift
iinrirofiry iwwo will kvo coninleiftiriatriictlon,
Danville Tebacco Co., Bex C 80, Han villa, V
TEXAS STATE LAND
Million of ncrrai school land to bo sold by tlioBtatn
tl.ootott.00 iwr acre; only onc-frtll vah nntM
yearn tlmo on balance; UirtwrwntlnUTl; mj
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?JS51
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Alll.l1 O Maker produces vure.
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Send JSc. for Wc, size, postpaid.
DR. LY0MS, 154 Day It., Paklo. IU.
Trappers Fur Traders
Ship your Furs direct to tho ?JgE"
market, where Tricf are always hlKhort. Write for
SurlatosT price lUUjrlvlnir lilshwt price .tor Van
andi'olt of all kinds from all sections. K' KHKB.
Mysrs-Beytf Csmmls le Cs., St. LeyU, H.
wimm positions
m -
KXPSUX3
Sarcastic
1 B.i.fiaAt weremaoatouiTuww
AMrfnHMeilS vice place daruw Jh
xTboo life fUiansa.8toJ0l5
cBtfi SttiieMon by wmUL Wt loroa
2z!it JSUTW-n. I'rvil Herrlco CominiiBioii.
I COV0WMJM COKIESP. COUJECE. WASHIHCTOW. . C
After gazing for'amoment on tho
.mass -of feathers -that she called a
Mi- "ha m-trwled:
"Why didn't you get tho hlrd?"
"Why, -what part of tho. bird do
you mean?"
"Tho bill." ,, ,
Xater, Jiowever, -heuwas.compolJetL
ito note the fact that -not even that,
diadJbecn pverlooked.
51
.AGKMTS JCAKW $75 to2SO a month aellltifirKov-
Siandaliowyoar loyalty. Wo 118,21. tl.X Cat-
.aloe atiows roaay irtyk. W diiconaa traas parcat
tUMMUMtrMtoany pkotosr,ddres.lodKe. eiBr-
btemf.otc JttazorBtMU Mftflcs. Kuaxantoed. areat
Mvtty Ctrtfarjr ., MfSt., CanUa, Or
WdingcanirelvoB.iiithe.d3iicket and
v .wouia'-uy""""'
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