The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923, September 11, 1908, Page 13, Image 15

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The Commoiuer
SEPTEMBER 11, 1908
13
Somo Entertaining Sights
Last week was state fair week in
the city where the architect of this
department lives, and the architect
spent several profitable hours study
ing the crowds on the streets.
A bunch of city boys, togged out
in Up-to-date style, trousers turned
up at the bottom, dinkey little hats
with brims turned down in front,
yellow shoes with huge brass
buckles, vivid and flowing neckties
. O, they were real "classy" "boys,
nil rteht. And they stood on & cor
ner and passed remarks about the
people who went by. when a
bronzed young fellow, surely from
the country, went by with his shoes
dusty, his clothing a little out of
date his hat far from a model of
fashion and his hands and feet
troubling him, the "classy" boys,
laughed and had a lot of fun among
themselves about the "country jake.
But it so happened that the archi
tect not only knew all the "classy
boys, but he knew the "country
jake." One of the "classy boys'
earns $4 a week in a local store.
Another one never earned an hon
est penny in his. life, but lives at
home with his father, who is book
keeper in .a manufacturing plant.
Another lives with' his widowed
mother, who has not yet spent all the
life insurance money left her by her
husband. And another earns a dol
lar now and then as usher In a mov
ing picture show, living with his
father, who is a skilled craftsman.
Between the lour of them they poa-
sibly could have raised $1?37.
"Thank you," said the bewildered
visitor.
A moment later another visitor
asked the same question 0f another
resident.
"Certainly; three blocks east,
three blocks south.. You can't miss
it."
Will somebody please tell the
architect of this department where
to find a fair where he can buy a
genuine popcorn ball the kind of
popcorn balls they used to sell
glued together with a genuine sugar
syrup, and plenty of it, instead of
miserable glucose and not enough of
that to stick the grains together?
No, it isn't our "taster" that has
gone wrong. It Is a perversidn of
the commercial Instinct a perver
sion that causes men to put up a
miserablo imitation of the real thing
for the purpose of deceiving the un
wary and making an unearned profit.
What we want Is a genuine ball of
popcorn, real sugar, made like a ball
instead of smashed into a flat cake
and wrapped In tissue paper that
sticks to it.
No matter how fine the fair at
tractions may be, there are two
things that will draw people away
from them a lost child and the pa
trol wagon.
O, yes; another thing the fire
department making a rum
Dr. Osier made one mistake in his
attempt to set a date when a man
was -useless. When a man reaches
the age that he does not feel an im-
a bunch of money to provido against
posBiblo contingencies.
When tho striko against intoler
able conditions came as wo know
it would our officials mado ready
to pay strike benefits.
Then tho employers went before
the judge and secured a restraining
order.
"But did you not say wo could ac
cumulate a strike fund?" wo asked
in astonishment.
"I did," replied tho judge. "But
nowhere in tho records of this court
will you find that I said you could
pay out tho money after you accum
ulated it. This injunction is now In
force."
Fortunately for us we have thus
far been able to conceal our contempt.
ORGAN
Of Supsriw
Ml ns tea! VaJtfft
The rtcd arena baa
latest models really create a new standard. la
been developed and perfected by un so thnt our
orsran 1
othftt
(act. so great has beea the tneroTemeBt that we
have dlscoa tlnuedall for
mer styles. EbObTbIIII Anyono now
in the market F mJIwI for an organ
should send " mwaww fof our Reyf
Organ Catalog. It will bo a revelation. The
beautiful Idyllic pipe organ tone of these organs
makes them a "wise Investment for homes and
churches. Also ftarj;aiia in SlizAtJy UudOrzanu
llundredsofgoodlnBtramentatakcn In exchange,
offered at Bonilnal prices. Writt today.
LYON & HEALY
Adam Street. CHICAGO
FOR LARGE AND
SMALL FARMS
In Northwestern In
illaiiA tho xrrafe
Ilallroad and Man
ufactnrlnir belt of
,lhu United States.
A Scheme That Failed
Having read in tho daily newspa
pers of largo orders given to man
ufacturing firms, contingent on the
election of Mr. Taft, we concluded
to make a bluff.
Calling upon tho tailor wo select
ed a fine piece of goods, and with
out deigning to inquire as to the
price we let the tailor take our
measure.
This finished wo started out of the
shop, but the tailor said:
"We require a deposit with all
orders."
Turning haughtily to the knight
of the needle and goose we exclaimed
in thunder tones:
"If Mr. Taft is elected I will come
in and pay for the suit the morning
after election. If he is defeated I
shall not need it."
Our family doctor says that with
careful nursing he will be able to
rnrliir.A our bond Riifll nlnnflv tn lot
Olir hnt. RfftV on. Thn tnllnr'5 trrm I
landed before wo cquld dodge.
White
KELLER ft WEMNGER,
North Jaden, lad.
References: Cltltona Hank, Farmers it Merchants,
North Judaou, Ind.
All tMiMd iron,3atioke.rJLJ I F
toreandtameneaBron It. '
lie
tacord.3 tons In 1 hour. A '
feed each itroke Smooth
balost omt draft. Frco
trial, satisfaction rnaran
teou. Ask lor Catalog 33
Ait4Fa4afl
Hay Praaa C..
ISZlW.IZtHSt.
Kane OHy, M.
Kill V 'ewc,fy on Installment; delivered on first
DU1 payment. Cat'log free Emox Jewelry Co.,
Amcslniry, Main.
GOVEItNMKNT POSITIONS In tho United
States, Panama and Plilllppino IMmuU. Kxumln
atlons soon In IJncoln. Circular 274 frivinir lull
particulars ax to posltloim. salnrJcn, etc.. sunt free by
tho Natl. Cor. Institute, Washington, I. C.
20 American Girl Post Cards, and mem
bership to our pent card exchange; alfio
3 moo. subscription to our paper, all
for 10 CtH. UP-TO-DATB FARMING,
Dept. A, Iridlanapolls, Ind.
pulse, to.,chase after, the fire denart-
But tho "country jake" has 120 ment as it rushes down street, it is
acres of corn that will go fifty bush
els to the acre, and he will thresh
not less than' a thousand bushels of
wheat as soon as the threshermen
can get to him, and he owns sev
eral head of horses, some hogs and
several head of cattle. He is only
a renter now, but he has put upwards
of $1,500 in the bank in his home
town during the last threq years, and
next year he will own a fine little
farm of eighty acres all earned by
his own labor. He came down to see
the stock and machinery exhibits at
the fair, and he not only had a nice
little sum of money in his pocket,
but his credit was good lor enougu
of anything ho saw and wanted at
tho fair grounds. He may not know
how to wear fine clothes, and he
may not be- able to whistle all the
latest popular airs and talk know
ingly about the "girls" in the
chorus, but ho knows how to work
for himself, and he knows one girl
who is the only girl for him.
The four "classy" boys were hav
ing lots of fun, no doubt, but when
that "country jake" is middle aged
ho will have enough to retire and
live at ease, while the four "classy"
boys will be cursing their luck and
loudly declaiming that "a good man
has no chance in this country.!'
time for him to shuffle off.
Best Seller
a 'problem
No Us'o
"If Mr. Taft is elected .this factory
will start full time and keep going,"
announced the president of the com
pany. "Well, if we don't like the work
some judge will come along and en
join us from seeking work else
where," said one of the employes
who had gone through an 'experience
or two.
"Is your new book
novel?'" we asked:1
"It is," -replied the author. "The
problem is to find the plot."
Pass It Around
"I've had my dream, and so I live
content," sings Grantland Riro in
tho Nashville. TenneBseean.
All right, Rice; now como across
with the name of the brand.
piTrnTe HKcuuKi) oit nets
Free report at to Patentability. Illustrated fluid
Hook, and List of Inventions Wanted, went frco.
KVANH, WILK15NS & CO., Waiiiinirton. D. O
Texas School Lands
$1.00 to $5.00 Ptrilcri
Tezaa has passed now School Land Laws. MIIMom of
acres are no w to bo sold by tbo Mate at 1 1. CO to t&cw nor
.11
Ever notice how "mixed up" the
directions are that some people give,
and how brief and clear tho direc
tions are that others give?
"Will you please tell me how I can
find the state house?" asked a state
fair visitor of a Lincoln man.
"See that store down street, the
one with the big sign on top?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well, go a block the other side
of the store, then turn to your left
and go two blocks. Then turn to
J our left again and go a half block
and you'll see the dome. Then the
rst will be easy."
Optical
(Tune: "Antloch.")
Judge William. Taft of O-hl-o
Thought he was very1 wise
Until the "allies" grabbed him up
And scratched out both his eyes.
And when he saw his eyes were out,
With all his might and main
He jumped into Joe Cannon's arms,
Who scratched them in again.
And when his eyes were well once
more
He saw a great new light;
Ho saw wage earners up in arms
And ready for a fight.
And then arose "Injunction Bill'
- And back-tracked right away.
He said we ought to modify
The strong Injunction sway.
But it's no use the toilers see
The plain, unvarnished facts
It was "Injunction Bill' hit them
Where th' chicken got the ax.
But .
"Of course you have a right to
accumulate a strike fund," said, the
judge.
Actinrr unoir the information our
I union officials proceeded to lay up
Up to Date
"Why don't Wearyman go to work
instead of loafing around looking up
at the sky."
"Ho isn't loafing; ho is just wait
ing around for his airship to come
in."
Brain Leaks
Prayer is a petition, not an order.
Patience does not mean sitting
around waiting for something to
happen.
The ministers who aro returning
from their vacations find Satan still
on the job.
Men who are really busy seldom
have time to talk about how much
work, they have to do.
.. Fortunately for us married men,
our wives seldom try to live accord
ing to the household magazines.
If we waited for real trouble to
come before we worried, most of us
could be smiling the biggest part of
the time.
X.ast Monday a lot of worklngmen-
marched shoulder to shoulder who
will be clutching at each other's po
litical throats in less than two
months.
This "affinity" dodgo does not fool
people who possess an average idea
of what constitutes morality.
It is usually tho "high flyer" who
drops the hardest.
net-Acre. dy
t Year's tlmo on the balance. 3 Intereat. tlrcalcge
opportunity eTer offered to Inyeiitoni and farmer. Texaa
UndlB better than Oklahoma, IowaorllllBOlu. Bend no
er ata (or Book of Instruction. Hew State Law and Map
ot Texaa.and I will tell yon TREE how to secure llat
of over 00 million acrea o( vacant nubile land. In 5 dif
ferent State, which are open to uoraeatead. Addresa
E. C. HOWE, 783 Hartford Building , CHICAGO, ILL.
Pianos On Credit
30 Days' Free Trial No Money Dow
This concern, with a combined capital ol
$7,000,000. -wonts to Bend you its wonderful Plana
Book. Wo sell pianos from $144.50 up, and sruar
antee a savins; of at least JH0. Wo ask no money
down. We snip tho piano, and let you uso it m
month, before you decide to buy. Compare II
with others compare our prices with others. II
you find ft the best bargain you ever saw, take two
years to pay for it a littlo each month, Other
wise, send it back.
Don't buy a piano without seeing this book, fof
this Is the larGTCstconcern of its kind in the world.
We have 450,000 customers. Write us a postal
today and simply say "Send your Piano Book."
SjIaI, May, Stem Ce "" 35lh Street, Odcaffa
"BANKING BY HAIL HADE SAFE"
Why leave your surplus money where
loss of 8am o is possible?
Why not take advantage of the Deposi
tors Guaranty Law of tho State of
Oklahoma? ,
Wo pay four per cent on Time and Sav
ings Deposits.
Wo want your business and offer every ,
facility for the handling of tho same.
Will send booklet containing law and
other Information on application.
GUARANTY STATE BANK ,
MUSKOGBE, OKLAHOMA
J. D. BENEDICT, M. G. HA8KKL!,
I'realdeBt (Ta ah let.
OUR DEPOSITS GUARANTEED
,.
, Aato . viU!j- 4g-"a!J