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APRIL 17, 1908
The Commoner.
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The Call
I'm weary of toiling and worry.
Of living tlie strenuous life;
I tire of the struggle and hurry,
The tumult,, the noise, and the
strife.
I long for a sight of the flowers,
The song of the murmuring
stream ;
I long for the forests where hours
Will pass like the woof of a dream.
I'm weary of plotting and scheming
That lay out the map of the game;
I'm tired of make-believe seeming
That oft is mistaken for fame.
1 long for the lake and the river
That shimmer and shine in the
sun;
Where leaves in the warm breezes
quiver,
And rest is the goal I have won.
I'm weary of sepulchres whited
That harbor but moldy old bones;
I see childish toil unrequited
And listen to widowhood's moans.
I long for the- day to be dawning
When right, with the, sceptre shall
reign;
When men now at Mammon's feet
fawning-; " ' - V
Will rise in their manhood:.asgain.
' . - ' , " t
I'm weary- of 'lalse prophets crying
Their wicked, inscrutable" lies;
While thousands of helpless are
'rlfh7 dying
'ks amnion's and Greed's sacri
' fice.-
I JPMg'fpr.theday;, and- the hour:
When Greed' shall be flung from
the throne;
When, man in his right and his
power
Again shall step into his own.
I'm ,w,eary, but duty is calling,
Ariel, only the sluggard will shirk;
The tasks that are set are appalling,
But honor says . simply, "Go
work!"
I long for the woods in their beauty,
But over the call that they give
I hear the stern calling of duty
That bids me be worthy, to live.
Awful
"What a bunch of pirates we have
here," remarked the man on the
third stool from the northeast
corner.
"Explain'," remarked his neighbor
who had also left a "Gone-to-lunch-back-in-five-minutes'
sign on his
office' door.
"Well, aren't we all on the high
seize?" asked the first man.
"Uh-huh!"
"And isn't this pie race, see?"
Then they clinched. An hour
later the police judge, said:.
"Five and costs each. "Stand
committed until paid"."
Welcome Homo
Count and Countess Sneezeagain
sky approached the little railroad
station closest to the count's ances
tral home.
"See, darling," he whispered,
now my people wait to welcome
you."
Snuggling up to her count the
Umntess Sneezeagainsky, nee Gladi
olus Builtdervan, smiled happily and
said:
"Why do they welcome poor little
me. a perfect stranger to them?"
Because they already love you for
what you are," replied Count Sneeze
againsky. "And -so do I love you
for what you are, and what you
have."
As the dinkey little train halted
at the dinkey little mountain sta
tion, the peasants, bill collectors and
curiosity seekers gathered round and
while singing songs of welcome
strewed flowers along the pathway
of the Countess Sneezeagainsky.
Chorus of peasants:
Welcome, ten times welcome,
To the castle old
With your wad of gold
And jewels rich displayed,
Welcome, doubly welcome,
For it may be
That you will see
Our long due wages paid.
"This is so touching," mur
mured the Countess Sneezeagainsky,
the tears welling up in her beautiful
brown eyes, and the flowers on her
"merry widow" hat trembling in
unison with the beating of her heart.
Chorus of bill collectors:
Long have we waited for you,
Sneezeagainsky, Sneezeagainsky.
And we have some relics for you,
Sneezeagainsky. Sneezeagainsky.
Relics old and relics musty,
Relics frayed and relics rusty,
Relics mildewed, relics dusty,
Countess Sneezeagainsky.
They are bills the count contracted,
Sneezeagainsky, Sneezeagainsky.
They have driven us distracted,
Sneezeagainsky, Sneezeagainsky.
Now that you the place assume ah
We collectors 111 presume ah
You'll come down with the mazuma,
Countess Sneezeagainsky.
"What childish simplicity, what
rusticity, what touching deovtion,"
murmured the countess.
. "It is indeed touching, darling,"
murmured the count in her ears, but
carefully avoiding any undue em
phasis on the "touching."
And thus, amidst songs of ' wel
come and the rustling of the unpaid
bills was the Countess Sneezeagain
sky, nee Gladiolus Builtdervan, wel
comed to the ancestral halls of her
titled husband.
Also to his ancestral haul.
Booster vs. Knocker
A good friend, E. P. Jacques, who
lives in Aitken, state not given, takes
exceptions to a recent "Brain Leak"
that said: "The man with a ham
mer saws little wood." Mr. Jacques
says this is another version of the
old chestnut, "Boost, don't knock,"
and proceeds to defend the
"knocker."
Our good friend fails to distin
guish between the "kicker" and the
"knocker." He says that because a
man wanted to saw a board and got
hold of the hammer first he wouldn't
throw the hammer away. Of course
not; but if he is a good workman
he will put the hammer where he
won't be always getting hold of it
when he reaches for the saw.
The "knocker" is a fellow who
absolutely refuses to .do anything
himself, and sits arounu unuuismg
those who try to do something. He
is a perpetual grouch who never has
a good word for anybody or any
thing; who can see no good in the
efforts of others, and who is ever
lastingly trying to block progress.
The "kicker" is the genuine re
former. He knows what he wants
and "kicks" until he gets it. He
knows what he does not want, and
"kicks" until he is relieved of
danger. The "knocker" Is the very
antithesis of the "kicker." The
tories of revolutionary times
knocked" on the men who were
protesting against injustice, but the
kickers" kept busy until they had
kicked off the yoke of oppression.
The 'knockers" have been busy
every since men began trying to se
cure justice, hut every reform that
has been accomplished has been the
result of the good work done by the
"kickers" against injustice. The
"knocker" is always a "let well
enough alone" man. The "kicker"
Is always the fellow who has some
thing better to offer.
Mr. Jacques says: "Mr. Bryan
was a 'knocker' when he forbade the
further use of the democratic party
as a tool of the system."
Beg pardon; Mr. Bryan "kicked"
against it, and ever since he has been
persistently "knocked" by the ham
mermen whose hammers were forged
in the shops 6f the system.
It is a pleasure to receive letters
from friends, even If they do "jump
all over us." We therefore welcome
Mr. Jacques to the ranks of the
"kickers." He may think he is a
"knocker," but he isn't.
Brain Leaks
The mother-in-law is no joke
when the baby is sick.
The pulpit is often benefited by
taking the pew point of view.
A gallows bird may be found
roosting on many a family tree.
The rule of the road "Keep to
the right." And it applies to life's
road as well as to mundane roads.
We presume that the next thing
will be the "weeping husband" par
osols big enough to cover the
"merry widow" hats.
Did you ever notice the distinct
and careful enunciation of the young
lady who has just become the pos
sessor of a gold tooth?
Speaking of lack there's the
man whose wife keeps sweet when
he unexpectedly takes company
home to lunch on washday.
Speaking of affinities there Is the
baby just nicely and cleanly dressed
and the coalbucket temporarily for
gotten and allowed to remain in
reach.
Fallen
The old school chums met after a
separation of twenty years.
"And now what has become of
Jack Smithere?" asked the visitor.
"The fellow who used to lick us all
at school."
"He lives in the next town."
"I'll bet, he's either the biggest
financier in the community, or else
the biggest tough."
"No; he's janitor in his wife's mil
linery store and she selects his neckties."
The Fact
"I see that the supreme court of
Nebraska has decided that a woman
has a right to get off a street car
backwards."
"Yes, but that's because it was
useless to say that she shouldn't get
off backwards.
Another Chanco
"The Missouri legislature has made
the stealing of fowls a penitentiary
offense."
" "That will give Senator Foraker
another chance to rush to the de
fense of his colored friend3 and
brothers."
Proud
"What makes Bigun so proud?"
"O, he drafted a law that the su
preme court declared constitu
tional, and it was really a law that
the people wanted."
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All About Texas
Oklnhonm. r nii'M. Lonlnlmin. New Mexico
Homes for Urn liomcIoBH, prosperity for the ludug.
Irloiw. Tho homo bulldera' guide. Send Htump for
sample ropy.
FARM AND RANCH, Dallas, Texas.
WANTED-
to hear from owner having
A GOOD FARM
tVir R.iln. Tfntnnrttnttlnr nttntit Innnflnn T)tnn.
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Ii. DAHiiY0iiniK, ISox OWN Jtochoftcr. N. Y
Texas State Land
Texas lias pawed new School iJind Iavh.
MlllloiiH of acres to bo Fold by the State. $1.00 to
J5.00 per acre: only onc-fortleth oali and no
moroto pay for '10 yenrx tinlow ileMroU, and only
3 per cent Intercut. Only 8I2.K) rah to pay to
the State on 1G0 acres at $3.00 per acre. Urcatcxt
opportunity. Land hotter than Oklahoma. Send
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Dank.
Jefferson's Bible
The Life and Morals of
JESUS OF NAZARETH
Extracted Tcztually from the Goipeli, together with
a companion of hi doctrine with thoie of other.
By THOMAS JEFFERSON
Jefferion' minion wu Uaderilup. Without
an effort on hi part exprettiont from hi lipi
that from other men' would' tcarcciy hare at
tracted notice, became thenceforth axiom,
creed, and fatherinf-crie of great jauwei of hi
countrymen. Henry S, Randall.
Jefferson' Bible i a book of 188 page, well
printed aad rubttanttally bound in cloth. It mi
publuhcd orifiojlJy to be old for 91.00 per
copy. By purchasing the book in large number
we arc able to offer Commoner reader an ex
ceptional price of 75c jxt copy, cent by mail,
pottage prepaid.
ADDRESS ALL ORDERS TO
THE COMMONER, LINCOLN, NEBRASKA
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