The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923, December 13, 1907, Page 13, Image 13
mmmmimmii9!m ifrr DECEMBER 13, 1907 The Commoner. 13 is held out on gnrnlshee, equals our JQaDaySure T4 jrrtr Mr Kr fct mk It mdtf bvtfcttttj in w row ttm.r wiMk fb nuerai stipend. Perhaps it wan all hocauso failed to Incorporate oursolf. wo ih lottlltj hf tm I ! hfTMllt CnHiMlm Jivl jnwr i4 tn i w t (fgytemoti orj nf.uin wn imin full I'.;-'' i' if - - .1 , - f - f " 'i;1 J 'T ! Like a Boy Agnln 0, I am growing anxious, just as anxious as a kid, To see the Christmas presents that I know are snugly hid In closet or in bureau anywhere my eyes won't see Until they hang in splendor on the lighted Christmas tree. I know my children bought them for they slyly nod and smile, And mamma who's their partner wears an air of utter guile. I know I should know better at my age, but Gee Whiz! when The Christmas season strikes me I am just a boy again. 1 know it would be proper at my age if I'd decide To court a quiet manner and be grave and dignified; That 'twould be more in keeping with my age and hair of gray If I would look important and put childish things away. But what's the use of talking? When the kids begin to sneak Around upon their tip-toes, and they scarcely dare to speak Above a giggling whisper something strikes me' biff! and then I know it's nigh to Christmas and I'm a just a boy again. At close of day 1 hasten toward the . lights that shine for me; I want to hear the music when my children laugh "with glee; I wantJ:osee, them ..scatter as they haste to hfde their things That I'm not supposed to look at till old Santa kindly brings, I want to be n sharer in the old-time Christmas joys That have made the old world bright er to uncounted girls and boys. And. that's why I can't be stately or austere, like many men, For I get chock full of Christmas and become a boy again. concerning this matter of which I am now speaking with intent to morely emphasize all that I may have at any time in the past said concerning the matter of which I am now speak ing." "Well that's all right," remarked Uncle Josh Weatherby, who was nothing of a diplomat, "but what we want t' know is, air ye goin' t run aga'In?" Discouraged "I remember one time endurin' th' panic of '47," began the Oldest Inhabitant. "0, that's a chestnut," interrupt ed the stranger in the village. "What I want to know is where I can get during this panic of 1907 a five dollar bill to send to my wife to buy Christmas fixings for the children." Ambignous "As' I have before said, and as I would now reiterate," said Honorable Seizemore Chaunceys, "I have noth ing to unsay nor to withdraw from what I have hitherto said or written regarding this matter which I have taken occasion to refer to before when T said what I have already said and which I do not now unsay nor retract for the purpose of deviating in any particular from what I have taken occasion in the past to say 6rip Pains It would be utterly Impossible to Imagine anything more distressing than La Grippe pains. They are simply lnuescriDaoiu, auu ou w "",," of all the misery sensations known. Yet they can be relieved, and In a very short time by taking. Dr. Miles' Anti-Pain Pills the greatest remedy on earth for pains of any kind. Their soothing influence upon the nerves is felt throughout the entire system. "I Jiad La Grlpplo pains all over me, and I was in such distress I thought I could not endure it. I thought of Dr. Miles Anti-Pain Pills, and after taking three doses the nain disappeared, and I slept peacefully. My brother has a swelling on his neck, and uses them, as they ease the pain and leave no bad effects like quieting jpowders. ADBLIA LANE, Portage, Mich. If thoy fail to help, your druggist will refund your money on first pacK age. , , . 25 doses, 25 cents. Never sold in bulk. Christinas Adages A twenty-five cent doll in the baby's stocking is better than a two dollar bill in the safety deposit vault. A Christmas candle can shed more light in a child's heart than an arc light can on a street intersection. .People who object to Christmas trees because the custom denudes the forests, never think of going bare fotted because leather depopulates the feed lots. The echo of a .child's laughter on Chrjstmas morning is ample reward for. a month of sacrifice. All Alike John-D. Rockefeller Is a member of the American Press Humorists' Association, and while we had long doubted his eligibility we now have .had all doubts removed. Brother Rockefeller is eligible. "I have not now, nor have I had, $100,000,000 in government bonds since the beginning of the present panic," declared Mr. Rockefeller one day last week. That's why we say Mr. Rockefel ler' is eligible. That puts him on the same high plane as the rest of 'us. Neither have we $100,000,000 in government bonds, and we haven't had any such amount since the In ception of the panic. Guarded Tho lifo insurance agont thought for a little while that ho had struck A big snap. "1 want about $2G,000 on my life," said the caller. "And I want to pay a year's premium in advance." The agent gasped, but recovering himself he reached for bin blanks and began asking tho usual ques tions. "Come to think of it," interrupted the callor, "you'd better make that policy read $35,000." By this time tho agent wan seized with a premonition. "Look here," ho said to tho caller, "this policy will contain an excep tion clause. We pay no beneficiaries "if the insured moots with daath while acting up as a cotton batting Santa Claus." "Then I'll look elsewhere," shout ed the caller, reaching for his hat. A Fnanciai Fable .- Being somewhat short of cash and owing several bills which were con stantly presented by insistent credi tors, we decided upon a clever scheme. Instead of paying the bills In real money we kept what little cash we had and offered to pay the bills we owed with promises to pay made out in. the shape of certificates, Whereupon there was a loud out cry, and several creditors hastened to the nearest justice of the peace and secured a garnishment of our wages. "Just have confidence," wo plead ed, with tears in, our eyes. All you need is confidence." But to no avail. Our wage was garnisheed. "You ought to pay your bills what you owe when you have the money," said a friend. After studying the matter over we have concluded that this financial game is too deep fdr a workingman, so we have abandoned it. In the meanwhile the.weekly en vAlone contains a certificate for an J amount which, when added to what Long Ago When I was Just a littlo lad, Not very good nor very bad Say just about tho average boy A-bubbllng o'er with fun and joy I used to think it lots of fun To furbish up my broomstick gun And buckle on my sword of lath Then sneak along the garden path And out the gate and down tho lane Until tho sumac patch I'd gain; And there I'd slay the Injun braves Until the woods was strown with graves. All tli at was very long ago But if you really want to know 1 d .ike to sneak out there today. Forget my years and once more play That I'm an Injun slayer hold Whose deeds no book has cvar told. Now on tho square, My good friend there, Just answer me straight out and true, Wouldn't you? When I was just about so high, With stoncbrulsed lnel and shining eye, I'd whistle at Pard Pryor's gate Then hide behind the barn and wait Until he found a chance to sneak With me off to old Walnut creek; And there the livelong summer day We turn and turn about would play At Crusoe's isle first he would be The Crusoe, then next day 'twas me. And on the island in the stream We'd play until the last sun gleam Would warn us that the coining night Would soon hide all things from our sight, j. hen off we'd go without a care To home and welcomes waiting there. All that was in the bygone years I only see through mem'ry's tears; But I don't hesitate to say I'd like to sneak out thore today With Pard and play that game again Although we both are grayhaired men. Now on the square My Rood friend there, Just answer me straight out and true, Wouldn't you? iln tnMr,tnmh-t w f t4raU tUr ftrMtl Oricxusuxdco., b iom dii,mw. or llrsrtrnr KOTAbMiX E'ti I GUARANTEED TELEPHONES For Furnur Forty t,lni Clear Tslkmrm. Loud ningtrm. Lightning Proof. OUR NCW BULLETIN NO. :llne vlaliln InforntftMon trill io uiftlloU free on rcjucai. TUP. WK.SCO SUPPLY CO. VI. Harth, Ti. flT. LOIJM. no. TJcl 60 YEARS EXPERIENCE SXSoiuMMm . m -.hsmciJipir gnSr SBm Trade Marko Dcoiqhb Copyrights Slc. Anyonoin1lnjf a nketrh Am dcncHntlon war r ulcklr fuicortnln our opinion freu whether iui Ihrontlon H protmlilr pnU-titnhli?. Conirnunlcfv tlnm mrlcurconfldoritliU. HAIIUbUUK on I'atmiUi sorit free Oldest nuoncr for iccunnir pntonu. 1'atotitB tflUuri throiiBli MUnn A Co. rocoli rptUil notice, wliliout clmrjo, In tho Scientific American. JtArirciit clr. I.ISI A hnndiomelr llltiatrfttad WMklr. tlHiii rt nntf alnril Irln frttlrflftl 1ArrflB vuiunv... w. .................. j-...-.. .......,, Tfiir; lour monuiB, 91. naiaujux ticwiowiicm. MUNN &Co.30,B" New York Uratjcb Office. (36 F HU Washington, D. C. STOCK OWNERS ATTENTI 0 N lOO of tho miwt vvluablo practical Htoelc lUtm cdlcfl over printed, Ini'ludlfifr Condition J'ku'Jwh,. 'i'onlw, Hr. Why not nut nuch tlilittf up yourmdf ; know wltal you m fwiJInjr your tftovlc nriil xavo JiJO to vti mtvMn For innnv ymnt I). IJ. Frotnari luw Ix'on (ratlinrlrii; ir'diui t-iUrd )tclpl from tin wt HUK'k. (Irowonr or tin I'uliwl HIhUm and (,'aiimld ItPUinllpN that thiy "nwtwr Uy." Hw Ua roiiwlvcd tliu IdoAof imttlnic tluuu In n little Ixmk lvtcouvdnlont for tho pwkcit wlilcli Iim rnm Tho HUxk Owiwn' I'ockot ('oiiiuhiiiqii." Till littlo iMmklca of loo itro HianlptM prlntwt on lliwi pnpor oticloAMl In n Imitlmr (Morocan) avm or pockot-lKK)k will lo iiinllPd to any tuUlram tot OO Otititn. it a!) contnlu hort lnwtlil Trfttl on thnruof Poultry nnd how to t X) kk tnr yinr porlien. bond for ,tTod-y, mu ifltiloon'nt prove tho iMHitlnviwttnntit you ovr iuad. or If Uy IU urn yon dott't novo DoIIhik for vmry SOtjkvl InvmUil, iy ho und wo will ruturn ymxr tuotiuy. Jtttforoucoa any Itnuk. F. II. IMCKKJIHON CO,. I'HWUlMifn, Ko.it LlKhtiiMr liulldln. Detroit, Mlcli. Brain locale Life Is what we make it, not the way we take It. Some people who are in the church are out of Christ. , The man who courts the limelight should not object to the spots re vealed. The man who never has any trouble Is always willing to advise, "don't worry:' In addition to the fun of propagat ing the Santa Claus Idea, there Is the economy of it. One trouble with Santa Uaus is his tendency to feel the effects of a stringent currency market. THE UNION CENTRAL LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY of CINCINNATI, OHIO ESTABLISHED IN 1867 ASSETS, $55,000,000 80 per cent of assets invested in first mortgage farm loans in thirty-three states. High est interest rate, low death rate. Large and increasing annual dividends to policy holders. Up-to-date policies. Good Territory for Reliable Agents Address the Company t "l " I i j A r "9 l i $- A '"' n..,.. .ib-v- r. - fc .3frt.inu:'to-