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DECEMBER 6, 1907
The Commoner.
13
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'THE LOOKOUT MA NT
(Republished in responso to numerous requests.)
Now listen, little chU'run, an' I'll tell a story true,
An' better you remember, 'cause it means a lot to you.
An if you heed th' lesson, then when Chris'mas time is hero
You'll git-a lot of pleasure, an' a lot o' ChiiB'mas cheer.
Th' Lookout Man is walkin' when th' stars begin t' peep
To see if little chil'run air in bed an' fast asleep;
An' all who act up naughty an' don't mind their ma's and pa's
Th' Lookout Man is watchin' ran' he'll tell 01' Santa Claus.
I knowe'd a little feller wunst who got real bad an said
He didn't care f'r Santa Claus, an' wouldn't go t' bed;
Said that he didn't have t' mind O, he was awful bad,
An' didn't care th' leastest mite 'bout makin' folks feel sad.
But when it come t' Chris'mas time he didn't git a thing
'Cause Santa Claus had heard o' him-an' not a thing he'd bring.
He knew that bad boy's record better mind your ma's and pa's;
Th' Lookout Man is watchin' an' he'll tell 01 Santa Claus.
I also knowed a little girl who wus just awful bad.
She wouldn't learn her lessons an' she alius got so mad
If anybody told her t' be still an' hush her noise
Well, she was alius wishin' f'r a lot o' Chris' mas toys.
But when 'twas Chris'mas mornin' to her wonder an' surprise
An empty stockin' hangin' In th' -corner met her oyes.
You see, she acted naughty better mind your ma's an' pa's;
Th' Lookout Man is watchin' an' he'll tell 01' Santa. Claus.
Th' Lookout Man Is peepin' thro th' winders ev'ry night,
An' countin' up th' chil'run who air alius actin' right
An' goin' off t' bed at wunst when told it's time t' go,
An' never poutin', not a bit, or takin' clothes off slow.
He puts 'em in his good book, but th' bad ones in th' bad;
"An' -when he write's a bad one he looks, O, jus' awful sad.
'Cause he knows they won't git nothin' better mind your ma's
.,, and pa's;.
Th' Lookout Man is' watchin' an' he'll tell 01' Santa Claus.
The Difference
Artisticus "I don't think much
of those new ten-dollar gold coins."
Realisticus "Gracious alive, man;
I think of them all the time!"
The Realistic Drama
"What makes you think you can
make a success of a summer tour
of 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' next year?"
"Goodness, man; I've arranged for
real ice in the famous escape scene."
Just" a Word
Dear Sister, if you. live in the
country, or in' a comparatively small
city, this is not meant for you. Other
wise it is.
Do your shopping early enough bo
you will not be ycompelled to take
the street cars in the evening just
at the time when tired worklngmen
and women are starting home. Re
member that' they have worked hard
all day, and they are entitled to the
seats in the cars.
More Interesting
"I see that those astronomers who
went to South America to make
photographs of Mars claim to have
secured proof of the existence of
canals on that planet. Do you be
lieve it?"
"What do I care about the canals
on Mars? What I want to know is
how I can get hold of some of those
Panama canal bonds."
Frank
"Can you support my daughter as
she has been accustomed to be sup
ported?" inquired Gruffly.
'Tin happy to say I neither can
mor will," said Frankly. "Your
daughter is marrying mo for two
reasons one Is because she loves
me, and the other is because she de
sires to escape all that she has been
accustomed to with you during the
last twelve or fourteen years."
Eternal Fitness
If I was just a boy again
My goodness how I'd laugh
If in the summer I'd a neck
Just like a tall giraffe.
For then the candy and ice cream
Could slowly, gently float
In cooling, lazy langour down
About ten feet of throat. .
And then at Merry Christmas time
I'd take a different slant,
And have my legs built on the plan
Of some big elephant,
For then old Santa, when ho came
To fill my sock, would say:
"Gee Whiz! I guess I must unload
Another Christmas sleigh!"
Nntural Result
The time had arrived when every
body followed good advice.
"Look here," said Mrs. Bahgln
Push to her husband, "you advised
me to do my Christmas shopping
early and avoid the rush."
"Yes."
"Well, I took your advice. Now
I've got to have a new dress, a new
coat and a new hat."
"Why?"
"Because everybody else followed
the same advice and the crush was
the fiercest I ever saw."
Worst of the It
Here and now, right at the begin
ning of the Christmas season, we
want to assert, emphatically and
without reserve, that the worst "na
turo fakir" Is not the man who
writes pretty animal stories and at
tributes to the boasts reasoning pow
ers boyond that of a college profes
sor. He Is not the man who anonilH
a week a year in the woods and thon
writes long and learnedly about our
four-footed friends.
The worst "nature fakir" In the
bunch is the mean, contemptible,
scheming, conscienceless follow who
first substituted squash for pumpkin
and called the concoction "pumpkin
pie."
He Is the Grand High Mogul of
the "Nature Fakirs;" ho Is the Mot
Illustrious Potentate of tho "Amal
gamated Ananias Clubs;" ho Is tho
Chief Grand Sachom of tho "Unde
sirable Citizens," and ho deserves the
most lingering torture Imaginable
which would bo to compel him to
eat imitation pumpkin pies until ho
starves to death.
Leaves havo their timo to fall,
And flowers tlielr time to die;
But thou hast all seasons for thine
own,
0, Pumpkin Pie!
Mean
"Of course wo can make this loan
If you can put up good security,"
said tho banker.
"Well, ray security Is not the very
best, I know. I want $1,000 in gold,
and I am willing to put up fifteen
hundred silver dollars. I know thoy
contain only fifty cents' worth of
silver each, but "
At this juncturo the former "do
fonder of the national honor" grew
so angry that ho forgot to bo diplo
matic, and he said things that lost
him tho chauco to make the loan.
Brain Lealcs
Determination and . Doubt never
compromise.
But you needn't put off returning
thanks for a whole year.
A man is always willing to listen
when he Is In deep trouble.
Some people demand personal lib
erty and then insist that it is a
license.
But, after all, those who aro only
thankful one day in tho year aro
supremely selfish.
When a man wants an excuse for
meanness ho usually begins by criti
cising tho churches.
Christmas kept with tho pocket-,
book spirit can never equal tho
Christmas kept with tho heart.
Wo are just hoping that Santa
Claus will bring us a pair of sus
penders that a nineteen-year-old son
can not wear.
Talk about bravery! What's the
matter with the courago a young fel
low musters up tho first time he gets
Into a barber's chair?
A whole lot of trouble would be
avoided if people merely kept going
straight ahead Instead of dodging
around to see where trouble Is.
If it is lying to tell tho children
about Santa Claus wo are going to
be a liar just as long as there are
children who will listen and believe.
When buying Christmas presents
worries you It is a sign that neither
you nor the recipients are going to
get much good out of the presents
you send.
It Is easy to advise people to "buy
Christmas good3 early," but who of
us can refrain from joining in the
Christmas rush? That's half the
fun of Christmas.
This Is the timo of year when a
lot of crabbed old souls who want
a chance to dodge their responsibili
ties begin telling us how wicked it is
to keep up the old Santa Claus tra
dition. "
Train L,osd
of Books
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lirrtlM U cat alw.it aa; t a al a 'IwoaMt ( fraai
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Books Shipped on Approval
ftuhjix-t to ftxnmltintlnn In your own homo to.
i"i'7i". j-.yTjr imhik. Kiinnini'u now ami
witiBfiM-tory, or ulij-t to return nt nty x
Pmiw. Wrlto for my big I'rro Ilurimln Mil of
iiiinium a. iK'niriMiriu'rinff. 1 1 com w you iioimiijr.
Will avo you tiumvy, Votlal card will lirlmr IL
David B. Clarkson, The Book Broker,
1258 Bosch Bldg., Chicago.
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Numerics Pny Cnnh Weklr
and Wamt Moms Salumcm Kvr.Y-
wiiese. Dkjt Coktiiact, Hrrr OLTfir.
LaroestNi r.KiE wmi an 82-YrA Rkcjro.
STARK BRO'S, LOUISIANA. MO.
EXflMfNATtGNFiEE
Ttil. l-..i.ri.i.i, iii. ),. W
irJd faramit Arattican iwtutit CtUU
miuiiUUi In a JO-f r t'M DllH raa.
liandwrUidjr an(iat4 Ofl Dnlttiatf
humtam. Mly Tlilt waUb ha
17 full mbyiwU aiwl a.nni U du
ritlraltil at vofjr rrtall nlr for
t than Hi, KrrmBt liaa quick'
tlln atcaixrrvant, i'1 rwllct, onH'
panuUni IjaUoM, !f rtulr ipitrir.
Htod t( 00 llb rJr aiwt Ub will I
La fonrardol at onca. or If tod vttttr
w will alilp waUlt 0 O, D. If tMrfacilr Mtliftl alUr
ttioroiuh ttfximla&XUm par aipr nl i COaodUla
lb wtch. ril u your Mr "it munnt
la1lf or jrrnlltratrt la lltrai
WaaUro irailxj Co., DtpUZ, ISO DrW)rn BL, ChlcM"
5
MaaV11
Notice of Sale of Land.
Notice J" linrcliy Riven that f!cd llU will la rtv
! vi(t and tllrul In thc ollfx of tlio County Clerk of
(Ircolcy County, Nolnixk;i, tip to noon of tlin lltH
day ornccunilxtr. IW7, for tho imrcluw of tint fol
lowing dMKTllx'd land now ownod ly Ontnloy
County, Ncbnulca. viz: Section zt, IriTownihlp is,
ItnnKO 10. nnd Hcrtlon 21, Towrwhlp 19, I0mx 0, In
Orwloy bounty. Nchnudcn. lid inny nt mad for
tho entire tnui or for any nidxllvlilon of thuama
Tho Hoard naiorvn tho rlj;litto r'J-ct nnyornll hldt
or portions of hid, and read vertlno tho hImvo land
If tho old Kuhrnlttcd aro dlnproportioiuto to tlio
true valuo of tho ahovo decr1lcd Jand. Hy order of
tho Hoard of County Coiumlmlouert of Uruoluy
County. Nehruxka.
WitncM my hand and Uio w?al of mild county at
Orw-loy, Ncljrajka. UtUSOUi day of November, A.
JAMKfi IS. HATtllY, ,
COUWTY CUKllK.
YOUNO 5fKN Tor flremon and hraknmon ortalK
tending railro.ult and now tv ImltiK completed.,
Firemen 1J monthly, becoino eiiKinecn tWO;
brakomen pin, becomo conductor IIJO; tMMltlonfi
now open; wrlf at onco for particular, ttnt.uuul
JtailwHy Tralnlur Hcliool, Inc., 0U7 Djaton
11 lock, Mlnaoapol.M, Mlon., U. tt. A.
9t
An Ideal Gift Book
For Young or Old
"OF SUCH IS
THE KINGDOM
By Richard I. 31etcalfo
CloUt bound. Vf) pagof, with lujven flno lllurtra
tionj, acnt iostpaId ou receipt of 1 1. CO-
NOW IN ITS FOURTH EDITION.
John If. Harlan, Aw-odato JonUco United
Btatcfl Supreme Court I have raul it through
twice No one can read it without both internet
and profit.
David J. Brewer, Associate Juxtic United
States Supreme Court Jt U onrvof tho mint
enjoyable booka wo have lately uvea.
W. J, Itryan To thoo who havo read it, it
necd4 no praise.
Addrost
RICHARD L METCALFE
'Care Tho Commoner LINCOLN", 17KBit.
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