OCTOBER 25, 1007
The Commoner.
!5
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' P7.
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dvS91!
Krain Lonlcs
Failure only makes buccgss
sweeter.
A lot of people go away from home
to tell the news.
The .child that always has It own
way Usually ends in a bad way.
The first Ingredient ih the making
of a clean city is the clean home.
Poor bread hab been responsible
for an awful lot of domestic trouble.
There is something lacking about
the minister who is popular with the
worldly minded.
The man who has accumulated
riches by fraud is very apt ito look
upon poverty as a crime.
The work day seems doubly long
.hen its wage must be paid out for
yesterday's dissipation.
When a man fails he is apt to call
it "luck." When we win w'CJ are
quite sure it is pluck.
We never hesitate, about accepting
an invitation to dine when it is ox
tended by the good,, oldrfashioned
voman who is proud Of haying taken
a premium at the county fair on her
preserves and pickles.
Missipg Word Contest
Not to "be. outdone by any of its
esteemed contemporaries, The Com
mon or NoT department has decided
to institute a missing word contest.
Below will be found several pieces
of poetry in the shape of "Lim
ericks," with the final word missing
in each one of them. The object is
to supply the best obtainable word.
Here goes:
There was a young fellow from Nile
Who wearily walkecra long mile.
At the end of the stunt
He remarked with a grunt:
"It seems to be time for a
t)
The first prize is a set of three
bone collar buttons, the freight on
which must be prepaid by the win
ner. Second prize, a copy of the
president's St. Louis speech. Third
prize, a mental photograph of the
Mississippi river pilot whom the
president discharged. Contestants
will be required to send seven dol
lars with each answer, which in no
case will be returned. We need coal.
Make all drafts, checks, postal notes
.and promissory notes payable to the
architect of this department.
" There was a young maiden in Wister
Who looted very much like her
sister.
Sister's steady, named Steve,
Met the maiden one eve,
'And being mistaken he .
First prize, a photograph of the
first trust the president really busts.
Second prize, an order oh the gov
ernment printing office for a full set
of Congressional Records. Third
prize, a copy of the first speech Sen
ator Piatt makes in. favor of the par
cels post system. Each contestant
must send nine dollars with answer,
In no case will the money be re
turned. The price of .coal has gone
up since we inaugurated the first
contest.
There was a young fellow named
Coker
Who fancied himself a great joker.
' He slapped a friend's back
With a hearty good whack,
'And-the friend handed back a- real
First prize, a photograph of a-na-
ture fakir faking. Second prize, the
twenty-one holes in our weokly meal
ticket. Third prize, our last sum
mer's straw lid, freight to bo paid
by the recipient. Each contestant
must remit eleven dollars with an
swer. In no case will the money be
returned. Coa! is still advancing in
price.
Suggestive
"I'm afraid that Juggloman Is
losing his memory."
"Gee, is he as rich as all that?"
October
The sumac's red,
The grass is brown;
Coal prices up
And coal -piles down.
October
Put up the stovo yet? ' :
How about the coal supply? ' '
Potatoes $1 a bushel!
Found the ticket fof your over
coat yet? ,
What will remove the odor of
mothballs from winter underwear?
The Question
'Tis not a heavy care of state
That, doth -this day perplex us;
It is no question of rebate
That rises now to vex us. -
0, no; our thoughts now daily run
Down vastly different channels
Shall we, or shall we not, now don
Our heavy winter flannels?
The Higher Education .
Now to the university
The young man of tbo nation
Proceed most energetically
For higher education.
An hour a day to algebra,
Geometry, geography
And all the rest with "hip, hurray!"
They spend In football toggery.
Come On, Boys!
The summer now is past and gone,
no more we'll have to mow the lawn.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
But what's the use; ahead, you
know, looms large the time to shovel
snow! Washington Herald.
Look to the present and condole
with him who has to buy the coal. -New
York Mail. "
And help the man who.'s now in
doubt 'bout getting winter flannels
OUt. vr,-
The Future
"Good morning, Mrs. Muley. My,
but your little calf is "looking fine
and healthy."
"O, yes, Mrs. Shorthorn; the calfy
is doing real well." -
"How can you keep it so and our
milk selling for ten centtf a quart?"
"Goodness, I don't waste my high
priced milk on calfy."
"What do you do?"
"Why, my dear little one took the
prize offered by the manufacturers
of Sraellem's Calf Food. You'll soon
see the precious little darling's pic
ture in all the herd books."
The Last Day
Not the -last day of the week, nar
of the month, nor of the year.. Not
the last day of summer, nor the last
day of the summer's vacation.
Not any of these last things. But
the last fishing trip of the season,
-ilt wasn't much of a fishing trip.
Just alittlo jaunt of twelves miles,
but It was out In tho woods, under
the blue October, sky, and gave tho
tired office worker a chanco to fill Jila
lungs with pure air and revel in the
autumnal glories. The fiery sumac,
gorgeous in its blazing robe's, looked
like a flame o firo against the brown
of the. landscape.
Reclining lazily on tho Bloping
bank of tho classic Salt Creek the
angler watched his cork as it floatert
lazily. Through half-closed oyea ho
saw the purpling -distances in all
their glorious colorings, and
watched the blackbirds and tho
crows as they wlugdd . their way
hither and yon. Now and then a
venturesome bullhead took tho bait
and was landed rfd promptly put
on the string. How many got away
the anglor can not toll, for about half
the time ho was watching tho sky
line instead of tho cork. Summer's
memories came and wont in silent
roview. Memories of days long gono
obtruded now "and then memories
of good times and hard times; of
bright days and dark days. A leaf
falling from an overhanging treo
settled slowly towards tho ground, as
often in days agono bright hopes had
fallen. Now and then a gust of wind
Caucllt a In.lf hnfnro it ,1in1 (niinlind
the ground, and whirling. It aloft
carried it far away and , out of sight
jusfc aq other days fortune had
picked up a hope almost lost and car
ried it upwards and onwards.
, Tho angler-was not alone. With
.him went an old-newspaper comrade.
The two lay sido by side under the"
blue sky and maintained one of those
slent conversations more eloquent
than words. Now and then a broken
sentence; a question lazily asked and
as lazily answered.
. And when the sun had gone down
until it no longer lent a glow to the
sumacs, and tho blackbirds had
ceased their chatterings, tho two
anglors wound ui, their lines and
sauntered back to tho little country
depot to await the stub train that
was to carry them back to the old
work.
Tho last day! Not the last of all
days, to bo sure. But tho last day
of one glorious summer, tho last
chanco to commune with naturo
when at her best. And tho memory
of it will be a bnison through all
the years that may come.
Not much of a day as days fun,
but just One of those days when a
fellow is fooling just right and in the
mood to appreciato all that kindly
fortune and Mother Nature have done
for him.
A Pair -of Vlicin
There 'was in pld toper in Lincoln
Who emptied a glass without
; thlncoln;
it was stuff to make hair, ;. 't
Grow on heads that were Jjare,
But he never knew what? he was
drincoln.
Chicago Recordj-Herald.
There was an old boy in Chicago .
Who tried, but in vain to makq
' lawgo;
But he, starved at the,.eat(
' Rn in nnrn food to eat
In" this backyards he Is making' the
sawgo.
'
i
Bad Judgment : -
"How is Bingerly getting on.with
that new furnace he invented?"
-J "He went broke."
' "That's strange.'- I though? it was
really a good furnace."
"O, the furnace was a good one,
but Bingerly" used bad judgment In
naming it."
"What does lie call it?'"
"O, he mortgaged everything he
had to advertise "it and then was
foolish enough to christen' it the
Lusitania." i-r.: - - -.
Buy Your FALL SUIT and
OVERCOAT at wholesale
mvA aaim tt .. f -... -
..- cr tut, uuioronco.
Wo makeeiily twa raic of cletklH-
SUITS, OVER
COATS and
RAINCOAT
With 15 year experience Its
K$J?i?2,e1 plotting anJ
lluu.WX) capital, ffe-jit oui
customer with (ho rcrj
newest, most atylliM, Lest
fitting anU smfirtoatirar
.n'9', , N merchant tailor
or retallclothlercan possibly
duplicate- them or lets thai
twenty to thirty dollar.
Every garment U
guaranteed to tit well,
look welt and wear
well. The trimming
and workmanship will
surprise you.
Prompt delivery nnd satin,
taction li guarnntoed to
every customer. If you have
never worn ourclotncs.vvalt
till you sec our samples,
Wrlto today for sample,
measurement chart, lapoantf
full particulars. Address,
naiiUNALCLOTIUNQ CO.,
510510
IsUlO
ha3Ja
I .
IB E. 7th St., Cincinnati, fhfe.
Mall Order Dcp'tH,
FOR AGENTS A SUCCESS.
"The Old World
And Its Way"
BY . ,
Wm. Jennings Bryan
37 Imvtrinl Ocitito Pace. U&l ttuptrb Enorac-L
l'vjioyraphM uihtn bu mi Jlruitfu
hq$ Jtvtn
llcoountn his trip around tho world nnd lit
vIMtutoall nation. aroutost book of trmil oyer
WrlttOd. MOftt HUCCeftfifl honk nt thl unnarti.
tlon. 41.WHJ cnlJifcl tor In 4 montlim. Writ
us for sample reports of first 100 ugentn cm
ployod. Tho poonlobuy itcnerly. U'lio oaont'i
harvest. Oh till Fit KfS. Bend fifty 'cent
tO rftfcfir ASlf... ftf rrtllllfnif vtt linnltlnr
THE THOMPSON PUBLISHING CO.. 8L UuYt, M.
ft!
r
J Q a Bay Sure
" aW f prnlili t)j work aiid fcJi
friml iii jijtr vMr
nd wwllttisw jiou
)uw to inakcfl iUy ,
AWluUtjr mrej sj
tomi ffj wswi L' I
tl licallfr w)erayoullt, .Sand ui jour JJro nnd mt,hI1I.v)
explain tho ImdnsM tuUr,rtmetuxr nt ruarmlM a tltar profll
of 1 tor riy work, lUolutclr iuro. Writ tant4
llOIXhXlUCVlCTVHUliCO., 1019 UtUtlt, Jfitb.
1VAHUINOTON f Ot'NTY, AKICAN8A8,
comprfftosnlarw imitortlm Onrlc FniltIJnH and '
wnnu twjco JU MiulntJoii. I'ayuttulllo, "TlicAtlM.
oMtiTilwiMirkH." tlif County cnt nnd metropolis
or Waxlilimton County wnntn now iMudnoM omVr
nrlfcos, A land of wit omMirtunltlu for Utwlinauir
mnti nnd former ullkp. Vill for nwIHvrlji
live mid ill list rutiMl booklet. Tiik Commkk
CluLKMWKOV I'AVtnrhVlLJ.K -!. It. Wllbjon. .
fJecroUiry, r'uyotti'villo. Ark.
!,.'
PITENTS SKCOKBO OR FKB
Vrc6 rcKrt nx to Patentability. IJhwtrntod OuWa
Koolr, and 1.1st of luventlorw Wanted, scut free.
KVAN8, WJLKKNH & CO., Washington, II. C.
THE COST OF A PIANO
should not U6 reekonnd entire! upon vtiiMi'y'oU
paw, U what ypu pay Ui keep it In order, and Kioro '
Important Ftlll Is tho length of ecrvjeo and' tho n
dct.'rceofsiiUiifactianltKlvesyoii. .
G-ABLER PIANQSi-
wlillo nolthcr thn hltchc-et nor tho luwest prlcm, at
uiuurpanued by any ltrumoiit mtuloln Anicrlca
or Europo InthOKervIco and satUffoctJon thy tlvo
for frfi dollar expanded, Th "UAlJLKlt
TONE" i faiiioui', nnd thn no-low-famous
"OAIIMCIt VOKKM ANHIJII'" inakeH tht,
tone twrmnnnntthrouch cencratlon after (feneration
of ium. A Clablcr Is cheapest HECAU8K UK8T.' '
Inv(atlKato
Ernast Gabfer I Bro.1'-""!
500 Vbl.lo:k Avo Bronx Borough, H, V. City,
HENRY WARD BEECHER
najH i(Xo Man can know the
ihrptofzy ot the Nlaeteeatk
Century Iio ha not rcutl
8ivcdnIjor." IUb statements
coicerjiirife, the life hereafter
are authoritatively stated. Jn
irBAVEN AND HEEL, a 400
page book by Swedenborg.
.Price 10 centn; add 4 cent
tor poataKc.
AddroBB
Western Mew-Church Union
558 TMafKiHlc Temple, '
"CHICAGO, ILL.
it. JijiauVi-.
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