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The Commoner.
VOLUME 7, NUMBER 40
The Commoner.
ISSUED WEEKLY.
John D. Rockefeller has been' drawn on a
grand jury in New York. It is safe to say that
the jury will not "run amuck" if John is able
to hold it back.
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Paragraphic Punches
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THE COMMONER, L'ncoln, Neb. .
Is Pilot Nichols in favor of a third term and
more federal power?
1 Pilot Nichols surely has the right to appeal
from tho "big stick" to the "square deal.'" '
Is it not about time to turn up the blaze
in the heater under the immunity bathtub?
The Metropolitan Street Railway of New
York seems to have been very effectually
Lemuel Eli Quiggod.
The Buffalo Times exclaims: "Buffalo will
, supplant Pittsburg. " If the Times is wise it-
,will be more specific.
;
. vhe question is, will the president call the
'9Spe conEiess bofore he holds up congress for
JC iffcfbur more battleships.
Every time Tom Johnson issues a challenge
Mr. Burton dodges and tightens up the ropes
on his congressional safety net.
Tho fight several gentlemen are putting up
for control of a great railroad is an indication
that the pickings are pretty good yet.
The "Milksop Class:' is the latest presiden
tial organization. Some of these days tho "Over
Chesties" will be organized with a rush.
Merely that history may bo kept straight
we stop the press to announce that it was De
Soto who discovered the Mississippi river.
Merely to head off agitation and discussion
it Is hereby stated that tho "oyster cocktail" is
not decorated with red cherries and bitters.
Perhaps 'the president wont down to defeat
in the tennis match with tho Bishop of London
because of tho clerical handicap on tennis court
languagq. .
The Rev. Dr. Day's protracted silence con
corning Standard Oil methods is; indicative of
genUeman lg n Pnrt Te Syiu"e
1 0 Boston Globe tells of a teamster whose
orso "picked up" a stone in. Its hoof, and who
tho horsoshoer romoved it the stone was a dia
mond worth $50. That's another "prosperity
story." A fifty dollar diamond wouldn't have
much effect on a horse's hoof. y
Tho first bear that collided'with President
Roosevelt doubtless got all that tho president
would have been pleased to hand to the Okla
homa constitution.
Railroad borrowers are spending so much
time mourning over the loss of "borrowing
power" that they are neglecting to look after
their carrying power.
"While Secretary Taft Is in Japan talking
peace, President Roosevelt is denouncing "milk
sops" and urging a bigger navy and better pre
paredness for fighting.
Copper has fallen off several cents a pound,
and it is easier than ever for some chirrch mem
bers to make a noise like a contribution when
the basket comes around.
St. Louis is soon to have some balloon races,
but it is doubtful if any of the gas bags ever
get up in the air as far a$ that free bridge seems
to be at the present moment.
Philadelphia is talking of paving with wood
around the new city hall. The election returns
in Philadelphia point to an enormous visible
supply of blockhead material.
It may yet come to pass that the country
will realize the need of a new cabinet official
who shall be known as "secretary of the depart
ment df sociability and banqueting."
The more fact that there are no newspaper
correspondents with the presidential hunting
party does not prevent the newspapers from
printing plenty of stuff about the hunt.
Rov. Robert McArthur of New York says
of Mr. Rockefeller: "He can calmly wait for
the unprejudiced judgment of posterity." Isn't
it apt to be a warm and tiresome wait? "
Parties or countries desiring visits from cab
inet officers would do well to place orders at
once. The Washington supply of cabinet and
executive officials is already very small.
' Senator Piatt issues notice that he is bet
ter fitted than ever for hard worlc in Washing
ton. This is notice that the express companies
will not lay down to the parcels post advocates.
District Attorney Jerome was very much
more active in prosecuting for libel the up-state
editor who attacked him, than he has been in
prosecuting the insurance thieves and grafters.
The Metropolitan company of New York
has gone into bankruptcy, due to "high financ
ing." The managers of the company were great
on "preserving the national honor" a few years
"How can I become a vegetarian?" queries
an anxious correspondent. You do not need to
worry.- Just give the beef trust a little more
right a vegetarian a11 right all
i iVf P a Tonessee man named Corn
is a candidate for office the Fort Worth Record
observes: "He must have had his ear to the
ground." Of course; and he certainly V a
Mississippi river newspapers are doe-lighted
with the president's remarks in favor of river
mprovement. But it must be remembered that
the president was also going to eat the beef
trust blood raw. v
October 4 was "Pennsylvania Day" at tho
Jamestown exposition. However the most nrom
lnont industry in Pennsylvania was not on ex
hibition, being firmly fastened down in the new
state houso. w
There is no truth in tho rumor that Mr
Rockefeller is building a yacht to defend the
America cup. Mr. Rockefeller is just now seek
ing to build enough life preservers for his oil
company. -
The truth about the famous Indianapolis
luncheon seems to be that there never were any
cocktails. Now York Sun. -
Messrs. Roosevelt, Taft and Root are away
But the country reposes great confidence in Loeb
as a lidholder. Milwaukee Sejitinel.
The genius who can invent something, to
perfume the breath of the automobile will mako
a quick fortune. Philadelphia Press.
There seems to be an impression that Mr.
Burton could put in some of his time to good
advantage by locating a soft' spot on which to
fall. Washington Post.
Isn't it about time for the authorities of
Vancouver, B. C, to prohibit the playing of "The
Mikado" as a delicate compliment to "our
allies?'' New York World.
Robert Pinkerton, the great detective, left
a fortune of $3,000,000. It would seem that
he was able to detect the necessities of life in
a most successful manner. Ohio Sun.
Mr. Roosevelt doubtless recognizes the fact
that it is necessary to admit more states into
the union in order to be able to give names to
the new battle ships. Chicago Tribune.
Had Mr. Theodore Roosevelt listened to
Judge Alton B. Parker in 1904 he would not
have been so easily deceived by his most inti
mate friends. Charleston News and Courier.
Among the triumphs of medical' art to
which the next generation will direct the back
pointing finger of prido is tho marvelous re
covery of the paralyzed Rogers. St. Louis
Times.
Senator Piatt says that Root stands a bet
ter chance for the presidency than either Roose
velt or Hughes, but everybody knows that the
antique Thomas is not the prophet that he used
to be. Philadelphia Telegraph.
Secretary Cortelyou promises to stop the
needless annoyance of lindr passengers by cus
toms inspectors. This will be unjustly called
a bid for the favor of predatory wealth. Some
critics are unreasonable. Brooklyn Eagle.
"What has become of that Japanese war
cloud?" asks a contemporary. It is ' eing ex
hibited daily on the- western Chautauqua circuit,
by its custodian and owner, Captain Richmond
Pearson Hobson. Kansas City Journal.
The country seems to be getting along so
well with Taft on his travels, Root sick, Cortel
you silent and the Strenuous One taking his
vacation, that it may decide some time just to
get along without any presidents. Atlanta
Journal.
Did it not border on disrespect we should
say that the fluttering and twittering of Mr.
Roosevelt over the theories filched from Mr.
Bryan resembled the fuss a jaybird makes over
a now acquisition from his neighbor's nest.
Norfolk Virginian-P'ilot.
A government powder factor would seem to
be r.hout tthe first thing needed if tho fight
against the combine is to be entirely successful.
Until that is built the government will undoubt
edly be paying the expenses of all legal battles
begun by -its attorneys. Kenosha Evening News.
Rockefeller says he has been hitched to a
cart in which the people ride; I-Iarriman says
he has been a packhorse all his life; but the
other day, when August Belmont declared that
he had been a strap-hanger all his days, we
strained him to our bosoin and said: ' "Brother."
Detroit News. -
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