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The Commoner
13
BBPTEMBER 20 1907
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Tomorrow
"There's a need of reform that wo
recognize,"
Says W. H. T. of Ohio.
"There's a duty we owe In the
world's greatest emprise,"
Says W. H. T. of Ohio.
"There are wrongs without number
we'll have to dethrone;
There are evils In plenty we'll have
to disown,
But all these a$e mattersjpre'd better
postpone,"
Says W. H. T. of Ohio.
"The graft of the tariff has been
overworked,"
Says W. H. T.xof Ohiov.
"For years greatest evils within it
have lurked,"
SaysW. H. T. of Ohio.
"To greed all its forces the tariff
now lends
'TIs used by the few to best serve
their own ends;
It's in need of reform at the hands
of its friends"
Says W. H. T. of Ohio.
"There are other reforms which the
people demand,"
Says W. H. T. of Ohio.
"For these I have taken a firm;
steady stand,'
Says WTH. T. of Ohiov
"But reasons, from giving- of which
I refrain,
And do not feel now called upon to
' explain,
We'd better postpone till after th'
campaign,"
Says W. H. T. of Ohio.
"Postpone your demand for' all need
ed reform,"
Says W. H.-T. of Olilo.. -,
"Postpone the campaign that we
face will be warm,"
Says W. H. T. of Ohio.
''Postpone there's no need of this
hurry and haste;
Postpone just endure this regime of
- waste;
Postpone I've a boom not yet" prop
.1 erly placed," ,
Says W. H. T. of. Ohio.
"But, your honor," interrupted the
all attorney, "I am appearing for the
ruuwuy iii mis case.
"Pardon me," cried the judge. "If
you- have an order properly drawn
restraining the commission or these
lawless unions from interfering in
any way with the operation of the
railway, just hand it to mo and I
will sign it. The marshal will take
notice that ho is empowered to call
to his aid levery force of the govern
ment, even to the calling out of the
regular army. Pending tlio submis
sion "of your restraining order wo
will take up the next case."
ing fence, pitching hay, feeding
stock, .milking cows and cutting
wood, the farmer hitches up to the
old wagon, piles mother and the
children in with him and hikes off
to the county fair, where he walks
'stceu miles in the hot sun looking
at tho vegetables and prize stock,
and gets home in tho ovening, does
a lot of chores and goes to bed re
freshed and ready for another year
of work.
What makes all this difference?
Natural
The citizen of Los Angeles watched
the convention delegates as they
wended their way from the hall to
the hotels.
"I tell you these undertakers have
a good time when they get together
in convention," ho remarked.
"Undertakers, nothing," replied
another and better posted citizen.
"Those aro the humorists of the
daily press. They are not now under
going the serious work of being hu
morous, and that's why they look so
jolly."
Uncle Bill
Tho pnly proof somo men have to
offer that they are honest is tho fact
that they havo never been in jail.
A lot of men claim credit for be
ing temperate when the truth is they
aro too Infernally stingy to spend
any money.
Thoro aro too many men who
blame their failures on Providence
and attribute all success to their
own unaided efforts.
tNIlNEIMtt!KS!N DIMHA
MIIK4MIE IPXIftJtT rifHllfd
HIlRhtlr om1 lnd.rnmmtt WKtnlnnuT from CM apt
Webon from JKft) apt 8 Krukmit-n from tsn apt
7 Kruibo from 50 nnj 3 OhlcWnjm from KM npi
alio ordlnnry roennri-hand uprbtht, fit opt lo JO
very flno Parlor Grand pianos l nboct half. Now
tinno,mahofriinjrt HO and op. Wrlta for particular.
Oiudi oroMj monthly pojrrnfnU.
LYON & HEALY.32 Adams St., CHICAGO
Wo ulilp pinrio ercrywlicre on npproval
nV LAMEST
Nurseries Pnv Cnsh VJnrkW
and Waxt Worn: Bauxuui Evnr-
Ytllt.tr.. UtfcT Contract. Rrirr Oimrr.
LAXoesrNunAr.mr wmiAnfl2-.Yt Rran.
STARK BRO'S, LOUISIANA, MO.
I On
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PATENTS that PROTECT
H.I. a A. B.LACEY.Wighlnglon.O.C, ub. IMS.
PATENTS
Precaution
The new instructor-"in languages,
intent on securing a large class, de
cided to make a reduced rate to hus
bands and wives taking the course.
"Mr. Cumso, I want to enroll your
name and that of your wife on ray
new language class list. The regu
lar price is $10 a term, but for hus
band and wife I make the price $15."
"Have you talked with Mrs. Cumso
about it?" queried Mr. Cumso.
- "Not yet, sir."
"Then here is $20. Now please
forget it. And keep away from my
house, please. I have found that
Mis. Cumso can express her thoughts
fully in one language."
Mistaken Identity
Federal court having been duly
opened the judge called for the first
- . case.
"Your honor," said the eminent
attorney, "I appear before you to
day in the case of the People vs.
the X., Y, & Z. railway, acting as at
torney for the downtrodden "
"One moment please," said the
Judge. "In order to save your time
and the time of the court, allow me
to say that if you are appearing on
behalf of .the hordes of discontent,
those who would intimidate capital
and prevent it from extending its
beneficent control over-
Rehearsal
Maude Muller, on a summer's day,
Pulled out a plum, and said:
"No! Curfew shall not ring tonight,
Because old Grimes is dead!"
Chicago Tribune.
The boy stood on the burning deck,
Where oft he'd stood before,
And listened to the mate recite,
"The Face Upon the Floor."
Milwaukee Sentinel.
"Stay, jailer, stay and hoar my woe!"
The babe looked up and smiled,
Two souls with but a single thought;
"Oh, fireman, save my child!"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Take back your gold," she softly
said,
"On the Wabash," all was still
When some one yelled, "Oh, cut it
out!",
With "The sword of Bunker Hill."
The" Ohio Sun.
"Curfew shall not ring tonight,"
"The Village Blacksmith" cried,
For "The Old Bellringer" has gone
away,
Out on "The Flowing Tide."
St. Louis Times.
Under the spreading chestnut tree
The village smith would whine
"There is no place like home, sweet
home,
At Bingen on the Rhine."
Nashville Tennesseean.
Friends, Romans, countrymen now
lend
Bars to this foolish verse;
Then go, like Casey, on a ba
For fear it will grow worse.
Hero's for the Prize
Tho "Minneapolis Journal Is offer
ing a prize to tho proud parent who
can come forward with tho bright
est saying of one of his childron.
That reminds us of a mighty cute
thing our little two-year-old boy got
off the other day.
Just as we entered the door after
a hard day's work tho little fellow
toddlpd forward and lisped:
MPapa, I's dot a "
O, what's tho use? Just as suro
as wo telL it somo fellow will come
forward with an invented story and
tell it as something his little one got
off, when the chances are ho never
was a fond papa anyhow.
Scoured or IVn Itaturnnd
Term Low. lUttUnt IUf. Ail.
vlconnd J.llcrnturo Krco. VAHHON A Co.. Patknt
Attohnkyh, UO t, Bt N. W., Wwilt., D. U.
3 STROKE SELF FEED HAY PRESS
2 ilen can run It
3 tons In one boor
RmT draft.
Smooth bales
Will ftAvo IU coat
Bhloped on trial
Ha.tUfHc.tlnn
(Jimrnntoed
tiik Airro.ri:nAN hay rmwH cc
U. S. Govt. Publications Tc""t
Threw publication nrc official and nro authorities
on (ho juibjrrtx trout!. Many of Uiom nro magnifi
cently HltJjtniUd, They relato to nil broncho of
knowledge. Including Agriculture. 1.1 vo Stock,
Mimursuuirlruf. Commerce, Mining nud PUhorU.
Military, Naval and Diplomatic Affaire. I-nwuoftho
United Bum. American IlUtory, ICniriucerimr,
Mechanics, Medlulno and llyKlcuu. All branches
of Bcloncc, Antronomy, AnUironolofry, Zoology,
Chemistry, fioolojcy. Korcatry, and Furti Culture,
etc Bend Tor KIIKB GATALOdB and price lurt of
Hiihlccut in which you nro f ntorrwtcd. Addrotfl Hunt,
of DoouinmitM, Govt Printing Olllce, Well
ington, D, G.
Why .This Difference?
After attending to his arduous
duties, which keep hini hard at work
about half the time, listening to
what lawyers say and then guessing
at what they mean, the judge takes
a three months' vacation in order
to rid himself of nervous prostra
tion. After attending to his arduous
duties, which keep him hard at it
from 4 a. m. until 8:30 p. m, milk
ing cows, feeding stock, harvesting,
threshing, hauling to market, build-
Brain Leaks
Sanctiflcation is not brought about
by isolation.
The law's delays are often respon
sible for tho, laws degraded. ,
.., There is a considerable difference
between education and knowledge.
The man who is always preparing
for death Is missing all there is in
life.
Gossip is a cause, not an effect.
There would be no gossip without
listeners.
A lot of women look upon heaven
as a place where there are no house
hold duties to perform.
You can not make a defeated can
didate believe that pursuit is more
pleasant than possession.
The question of pure food is of
less interest to a million people than
the question of some food,
A whole lot of union men parad
ed together on Labor Day who will
vote against each other on election
day.
Men who habitually "take the
world easy" usually prevent a great
many others from doing the same
thing.
One of the greatest troubles about
liquor Is that those who never use
it are the ones who suffer most from
its effects.
What will this republic do for
presidential candidates when the vis
ible supply of log cabins is ex
hausted? The man who does his best without
grumbling is worth twice as much
as the man who does more but keeps
growling all the time.
Many" people dodge around the
corner to avoid trouble, only to dis
cover that trouble has darted
through the alley to head them off.
The government statistician has is
sued a report which says that the
advance in wages has been greater
than the advance in the cost of liv
ing. Now there is a "nature fakir"
worth going after.
There is an old saying to the effect
that "he who sups with tho devil
needs a long spopn." Maybe so; but
he who knowingly, sits down to sup
with the devil hasn't got sense
enough to use a spoon.
Our Hunk Money;
Order Plan of
Banking by Mall
l tho rlmpWt, KAfeMtl
and mom convenient.
4 per emit Intercut I
In paid from tlio mo
rn nut your monoyi
rcachm u. Your nv
tuna aro constantly on
ucnoK t. cnrnunr troou
Intercut, yet you liavc
ino money in your po-
wcaHlon. ready for In-
Irtnnt tino when needed. Ak for JJooklet "K,
Iwhlrli fully ex pLilnA tho inurlui of UuTi won-
Idorful plan. Writ today.
Irho Dopoflltom HnvlncH and Trimt Co.,
Tom I. JoiiiiHon, 1'renlucnt
Cleveland, Ohio
MjHjR 1
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The First Battle
A Story of the CampHlicn of 1806 by
W. J. URYAN
A collection of his speeches and
biographical sketch by his wife. Il
lustrated octavo, 673 pages.
When the few copies I now have
are sold this book will be out of
print.
Price, clolh ImjubcI, $1.80 each,
meut by mall pontafge prepaid.. Ad
dress orders,
G. H. Walters
2245 Viae Uireei,
TJhcoIb, Neb.
11
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VAKV1M SMITH OO CHICAGO, IUU
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