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The Commoner
6
VOLUME -7, NUMBER 24
The Commoner.
ISSUED WEEKLY.
Under the Sherman tablet in the Half of
Fame Is the inscription, "War is cruel, and you
j can not refine it." The censored Hall of Famo
is not expressivo onough.
Since tho exposure of the Pennsylvania
iBtato house grafters they have been filled with
deep regrets;" Thoy overlooked $14,000,00Q in
the state treasury.
Tho beef trust offers the pure food law as
an excuse-for higher prices. When the time
comes for another excuse to be' necessary, tho
beef trust will have it.
WlM.rAM .7. IlKVAN
Kdltor and Proprietor.
TticiiAnn I. Mktcamtk
Associate Kdltor,
Ohaui.ks W, IJllVAM
Publisher.
Editorial Rooms apd Ilimlnosg
OHICO 321-330 Mouth 12th Btrcot,
Tho men who study wild animals from be
hind an office desk seem to have good reason
for claiming it to be as advantageous a position
as that behind a pair of peep sights.
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THE COMMONER, Lincoln, Neb. ..
i ,
Oystor Bay must have beer named by a,
"nature fakir."
Chancellor Day seems to be Jeremiahing
pretty steadily these days. ,
The czar is suffering from recurrent, sympr
torris tof grand dukoism. ' ,
Mr. Watterson says his preferred candidate
has a "winning smile." He must take mint in
his'n.
General Lawton's eulogy consisted of an
hour's explanation of the administration's rail
road policy. '
"When wheat went up flour followed suit.
"Wheat declined soon after, but flour hasn't heard
of it yet.
It seems that the czar is willing to grant
representative government provided he is the
only ono represented. , , . .. --'
- This is a representative government until
some federal judge takes a notion to make it a
government by injunction or mandamus.
Governor Hughes' statement that nothing
the corporations may do will justify retaliation
will be heartily endorsed by the beef trust.
Doubtless the Japanese warriors are watch
ing with interest the fight the American war
department is making on one lone woman.
The state house grafters of Pennsylvania
point to the treasury surplus of $12,000,000 as
a vindication. They might have taken it all.
When General Kuroki finishes tolling his
countrymen about the size of Uncle Sam's do
main there -will be a falling off in Japanese war
talk.
The Butte, Mont., baseball team has a
pitcher named Roosevelt. Up 'to date he has
made the wielders of the "big sticks" look lonesome.
The postofflce department .is on the Trail
of some gross frauds in the transportation , of
the mails. The department sleuths ougfttvto''
experience but little difficulty in followingcsol
broad a trail as that. Tho winder is that' thoy
did not stumble across it a long time ago. " r
Secretary Harry S. New says the next re
oublican national convention will bo a "fight
to a finish." Pish, tush, Harry! Also fudge!
Hasn't the president already settled upon Mr.
Taft as his successor? If Harry 'keeps on talk
ing that way the "undesirable class" will have
to hunch over to admit a new member.
Senator Daniel says the next democratic
candidate must bo 'neither too radical nor too
conservative." But that does not help solve
Mr. Watterson's dark horBe puzzle.
A recently discovered'lntoxicant impels tho
drinker to tell the truth. Great care will be
taken by tho party managers to kqpp it away
from tho majority side of congress.
One of Oklahoma's senators-elect is a blind
man, but ho will havo no difficulty in seeing
wherein a lot of senators at Washington have
failed to represent the people.
This agitation in favor of getting the upper
.berth cheaper than the lower berth simply means
that the price of the upper will remain as it is,
while that of the lower will be higher.
"King Peter of Servia pays his debts," is
tho sensational headline in the newspapers.
Peter will doubtless be consigned to the unde
sirable class by his fellow monarchs.
A Missouri exchange tells about the joys
of "juggling" for catfish in the Mississippi river.
Some of the biggest fish we ever heard about
were evidently caught by the jug route.
If ever it is discovered that Mars is in
habited, the advocates of a protective tariff will
use the fact as an argument against revision.
"No 'competition with Mars." will be their cry.
Mail parcels are carried from New York
to London cheaper than from New York to the
nearest village. No wonder the postoffice de
partment is trying to economize by saving the
twine.
Senator Knox will run up against his first
hard chore when he tries to make the republi
can national convention believe that he is tho
only man that can save Pennsylvania to the
party.
Wouldn't it be a hard jolt on the Missouri
railroads if the people found out after three
months' trial that the two-cent fare law was
too profitable and forced the roads back to three
cents?
President Roosevelt addressed the National
Editorial association on the evils of swollen for
tunes. The president is clearly eligible to mem
bership In the American PresS Humorists' association.
It having been decided not to prosecute Mr.
Harriman that gentleman may now move up into
the Paul Morton class. It will be remembered
that the chief executive decided not to prosecute
Mr. Morton.
"Prices are on a higher level" says the
bureau of labor. Wonderful how obtuse those
government officials are. We know a lot of
higher prices that lack a great deal of being
on the level.
Senator Piatt's express company has sent
a poor scrubwdman to jail for stealing a bar
of soap. She doubtless thought the managers
of the company had no intention of using any
cleansing material.
The announcement that the legal -department
of the government Is going. after the pow
der trust simply means that the" senator from
New Jersey will invoke the fetich known as
"senatorial courtesy."
Jam es-J; 'Hill' says the government will have
to come- to the ald'Of the railroads and advance
money try provide the equipment necessary for
the proper handling of freight. Uncle Sam will
first have to come to the aid of the 'people and
advance money so they can pay the freight.
The corporation papers are now singing the
praises of Governor Hughes because he had the
"courage" to veto tho two-cent fare bill. That's
nothing; the United States senate has several
members who ifor years have had the courage
to oppose every good measure and follow the dic
tation of the railroads.
Leslie M. Shaw is again smiling like a man
who thinks he detects the faint humming of a
presidential bee. A close examination', however,
is likely to result in the discovery that the cogs
are not properly meshing.
By postponing revision of the tariff until
after election the republican managers find
themselves in a position to decline to revise tho
tariff on the ground that, failure to revise was
endorsed by the people.
The New York World calls the initiative
and referendum "something new." It is, how
ever, as old as the republic. If the World
wants to see some examples of the referendum
it might look at any one, or all, of the amend
ments to the federal constitution.
Viscount Tani of Japan says the American
people are radically commercial in their senti
ment. All right Viscount; but a little dip into
history will convince you that we forget it every,
now and then when occasion demands. -
It is asserted that "outside of the federal
officeholders the republicans of Georgia are op
posed to President Roosevelt." Impossible!
Some of them have to hold two offices in order
to keep the plums Inside the party lines.
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The Roanoke, Va., correspondent for the
Philadelphia North American tells of a nine
days old baby that talks of heaven. That is not
so very wonderful. We have seen lots of babies
even younger that reminded us of heaven.
The New York Mail says that Mr. .John
Temple Graves' assertion that a paraggapher
, can not enter heaven is not founded on Matthew
xix:24. Yes, we've read it, but you'll nave to
look it up for yourself, so get a hump on you.-
The St. Louis Globe-Democrat is still clam
oring for a free bridge for St. Louis, but for
"standpattism'' at the ports of entry; The es
teemed Globe-Democrat experiences great diffi- .
culty in keeping the pilot of its logic from col- ,
liding with the caboose. . '
PARAGRAPHIC PUNCHES
After an experience that has thoroughly
convinced it that the private ownership of pub-
lie utilities is most unsatisfactory, San Fran
cisco Is about to undertake municipal owner
ship by taking over the Geary street railway.
There is no school like experience. Denver
News.
The packers' remarks about ' "diseased
cows" and "dirty, filthy farms-" are a bit remind
ful of Upton Sinclair."" But one can't help won
dering why the packers were so long in decid
ing to resort to those belated measures for tho
protection of the consuming public. Sioux City
Journal.
There are too many pestiferous thinkers in
this country.. A good many of them believe,
in view of the mighty promises the protection
leaders make of doing something two, three or
four years hence, that congress should do at
least enough next .winter to demonstrate its sin
cerity. Cincinnati Enquirer.
An Alabama man has been sentenced to
the penitentiary for stealing a peck of apples.
If the courts had proceeded as they do when a
railroad is charged with rebating, he undoubt
edly would have been fined the peelings, and,
if it were a very aggravated case, perhaps tho
cores, -as well. Washington Herald,
'In passing a law prohibiting the smoking
of tobacco by persons under twenty-one years
ofMage, the Wisconsin legislature may have been
seeking to confine the youth of that state to
cigarettes and five-cent cigars. Washington
Herald.
Postmaster General Meyer has instructed
postal clerks to save the twine about their let
ter packages so it may be used-ttgain. He must
4iave been re-reading the old'"whip cord" story
in McGuffey's school reader. Omaha World
Herald. "
