a T
The Commoner
15
JUNE 28, 1907
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i I j4 Ti Llamt rM I L --r "J J . ". iHC 9bW
Old Home Week
VOld Home Week" in Missouri of
course I am going home
Back to the days and the old time
ways, and happy and free 111 roam
Down through 01' Rusiell's pastufe,
. and overly Kunkel's mill,
'Antl back again through the shady
lane to the old. house on, the hill.
On the grass grown banks of the
, ' , ' Tarkio, Where oft in the past I
.. ' strayed.
Once more I'll lay in a lazy way
-..'- neath the drooping willow's shade.
': I'll walk along the wide old street
; " to the Old school house below,
- j! While the deep-toned bell sweet tales
. -will tell of the days of long ago.
Vf .'01d Home Week" in Missouri, and
' oil n-P no rrniner !orz
.Back, girls and boys, to the old-time
joys on th' old well-beaten, track,
prohibition Kansas Should give a sil
ver punch bow) to the battleship
Kansas."
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Xonesome
"Hello, Bilkins! Whats that -you
got under your arm?"
"That's a new phonograph."
"Going to have some music, eh?"
"No, just got talking records. You
see my wife's way and it got awfully
lonesome out at the house."
their services wero no longer needed.
Men cost nothing, therefore tho
mine owner was not interested in
their welfare.
For the next six months tho mules
lived In case and comfort.
What became of tho miners?
Really we do not know. Men can
be had on demand, vbut mules cost
from $100 to $150 per head.
O Joy!
The man who takes a carving knife
To carve a watermelon ''
Deserves to .be sent up foriife
A solitary felon. ,' s
Just lift, the melon up on high
And drop it down ker-plunkT-
Then with a steady, practiced eye
. Piok out the bestest chunk.
w Over the flower-strewn meadows, and
d6wn where the orchards sweep,
Jknd over the hills and down the rills
'- where the soft cloud-shadows
creep,
- When the twilight falls as the day
Is done I'll "turn my eager feet
-- To the little cot and the garden plot,
" - with their mem'ries sad and sweet.
. I'll pierce'the gloom of the vanished
years, I'll see each well loved face
In the twilight gloom of the sitting
. -room in my boyhood's old home
'. place. "
"--Old Home Week" In Missouri, from
V" the Tegionswide apart, ,
-From shoos, and fielda with their
- fertile yields, from, busy -and noisy
imarti . - - 4 -
- We are going back to the old home
state, back'" to the paths ilower
sti ewn,
And the Mother State in her strong
arms great will once more clasp
her own.
She calls to us o'er the distance wide
we answer the loving cry
j We hurry back o'er the old home
trrick, and ever as we draw nigh
m Wo shout the name of the old home
... - state Missouri dear old Mizzou!
'-. ,We heard you call, and one apd all,
.were hurrying back to you J
c- -
.- . Another Nature Story
'" The jealousbug kills many a rp
"inance. by biting through the "heart.
k
Natural Mistake
From his seat in the, gallery tlie
stranger looked out upon the delib
erations of the meeting for an hour
or two.
"I didn't know the undertakers
were holding a convention here," he
finally remarked to his neighbor.
"This is not an undertakers' con
tention," said the neighbor. "This
is a convention of the American
Press Humorists' Association."
Deceived by the solemnity of the
occasion the stranger Tapidly walked
out to look for something amusing.
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Sure Sign ,, .
"Wilkins must have Tnade a pile
of money since we last saw him."
:-What makes youjthink so?"
V Why, ten years ago he -was afraid
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.-,of the law; now he snaps his fingers
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As Usual
x"I-am laying by something for a
rainjr'day," remarked the man as
he stowed- his umbrella in a closet.
The next day it rained, and the
man discovered, on going . to the
closet, " that his son- had got there
first.
Young Merchants
.The scrap iron pile behind the shed
Is guarded day and night; ,
Each bit of junk, each ragged shred,
Soon disappears from sight.
Andwhen we, wond'ring, ask tho
cause
We get the quick reply
Without a single Instant's pause:
"Fourth o' Julyl"
"Say, can I have this bottle, ma?"
'He asks with plaintive tone.-
Then down the alley out of sight
He wends his way alone.
Each iron bit, each'wire strand,
Each rag -he may espy,
He clutches with an eager hand
"Fourth o' July!"
"Old iron" by dayrbut in' the night
His dreams are dreams of, joy:
Joy that is writ in flames that light
The life of every boy.
"Old rags, old hottle or old junk" -The
pile Is growing high,
And means more crackers, rockets,'
punk, ' ' ' ,
"Fourth o' July!"
O, glorious Independence Day!
Some people give us pain
By telling boys the proper way
To, make it "safe and sane."
Go to! We1ll help 'em celebrate
The old way, you and I; s
And fire off crackers early, late,
"Fourth o July!"
Brain Leaks.
Dyspeptic minds lovo to feed on
flattery. ,
We never boast of tho gold bricks
we buy. '"
The troubles we never meet rtro
tho one that worry us most.
Western farmers are getting ready
to harvest the wheat that speculators
sold last spring.
The man who depends upon his
"rabbit's foot" usually has a long
hard luck story to tell.
The fact that there are hypocrites
in thd church is another ovidonce
that the church is good.
IIOOH
"His hands," exclaims Mr. Andrew
Carnegie, having references to tho
Emperor . William, "are guiltless of
human bloodshed in international
war."
There is a nice distinction hore,
and not less Important than nice.
International war is, of course, war
between nations. Niggers in darkest
Africa are not a nation. They have
no navy. They rend no delegates to
the peace congress. ,They are, in
fine, small .potatoes and few in a
hill.
So it is true that the emperor's
hands are guiltless of bloodshed In
international war. With a Christian
moderation worthy of all praise, he
has steadfastly refrained from past
ing anybody who was in the least
likely to paste him back. Life.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
A Baltimore man- had until recent
ly a darky in his employ, about as
shiftless and worthless a darky, says
he, as ever came across.
One day the employer, his patience
exhausted, called Sam into his' office
and told him to look for another
job. . '
"Will yo' give mo a letter of rec
ommendashun?" asked, Sam, pite-
ously.
Although he felt that he could not
conscientiously comply with this re
quest, the Baltimore man's heart 'was
touched by the appeal. So he sat
down to his deck to write a non-committal
letter of character for the
negro.
His effort resulted as follows;
"This man, Sam Harkins, has worked
for me one week" and I am satisfied."
Harper's Weekly.
History Invoked
V'The beef trust is thousands of
years old." x ,
"Get out! It is a product of mod
ern times." ""' . ii.1r'! lj . '-
"Not much, JSveralj,i;hou,sands of
years ago even a king' round It; neces-
Bary to hustle "outand 4kt fcrass."
tSrT'W
uecr
"Queer things happen in this
world." ' .-. i . . ,
"What are you -thinking about
now?"
p -
"Thinking -"how strange itdia that'i
Men-and Mules
Realizing . that it would be more
profitable to sell a million tons of
coaj at a profit of one dollar per ton
than, to sell two millions of tons '.at
a profit qf flf ty jeents a ton, thocoal
baron .decided : to close: down his
mines. j , , ' .
First ho "bought plenty of fepdifor
-his mules and -had his stables re
paired and fixed .up as comfortably
as; possible.
Mules cost considerable money per
head, therefore must be protected.
Then, he curtly notified the miners'
and .other men in, his employ .that
UNLUCKY AT LAST
t
- Summoned on a special v.enire in
the Haywood case, J, A. Robertson
testified ' that he was born In Scot
land, lived there thirteen yearg; emi
grated to Ca. ada, lived there thir
teen years; come to Illinois, lived
there thirteen years; moved' to Ne
braska, and lived there thirteen
years. In the light of this record It
Is.not surprising to find that he was
quiekly accepted by both sides as a
juror, and is probably stuck for at
least thirteen weeks' service. Sioux
City Journal.
"ritnE"
Abe Ruef says Mayor Schmitz got
only $50,000 from tho bribers
Pennsylvania's; leading grafters say a
man who will' sell himself for that
must lack pride, as well as judgment.
rrCbicago Record Herald.
ICE TRUST-
In a revival of -"Uncle Tom's
r Cabin" at New York the seene in
which Eliza crosses the -ice, has-been
eliminated. New Orleans- Times
Democrat.. - , .v ,
The MTemper
of a Fork
Try the temper of a Keen Kuttcr
Fork spring it, twist it, pry
with it. After you've tried it
you'll be willing to work with it,
K00H
kvrreK
Eto farm tools dont &rek
PJPW each linn irfinc oil temper
W.f-f'flff which tun lrr- it ur (Hint awl
strain and keen n rood
edge or point. The Keen
pr Kuttcr trauemarie cover
W I'orka, Hoes, Rakes,
V Scythes, etc., as well as
all bench tools Axes, Hammers, Saws,
Planes, Adr.es, Chisels, Augers, lilts.
Braces. Giinlcts,lJevels, Squares, Draw
iug.knlves, Gouges, etc.
If aet at year dealer's, rrrtU n'a.
"Th JUcoUeetion nf Quality Remain Imo
After the Price i$rorfmlen."Hi.O,tiimm9M.
Trtdesuuk Registered.
SIMMONS HARBWA1E COMFANY.Iac
St. LmIs mh New Ywk. U. 8. A.
TRAVKIjIHO POSITION wJth Tobacco Man
ufucturcf now open. Good pay and promotion. If
Industrious and energetic, oxporinncoisnot neces
sary. Dnnvlllo Tobacco Co., Jlox FAC, JJanvJllo, Va
m GKNTH1M per
" month solllnff tbaso won-
lorful ScIor8.V.C.aicl)ncr,
I0IHIOW Coluinhus. 0,. sold 23 pairs
in : lioum. mndo 213: you can do It: wo show
llOYV.Frcq Outlit. C, TbowM ntg. Co., 21 Y &U, IUjIob,.
CWWXM&&'
Tltl fin (I If VI i" riflTTT m
M(.m
PATENTS
SECUIIKD Olt VKK
KETUUNKD,
Kreo report as to l'nt ntabllltr, Jllustratal Oulds
Book, and List or Inventions Wanted, sent free.
K VANS, WH.ICKMM & CO., 1VtuthltiKtoB,DC.
3 STROKE SELF FEED HAY PRESS
2 Hon can ran it
8 tons In one hoar
Eay draft.
Smooth bales
Will save its cost
Shinpsd on trial
StrUntactloR
m U H FAB m! ad
TIIE AimO-IimAN HAY VilKm X.,
TOPKICA, ICAW8AH. Box aa
BESjBPPMWIk'
Anti-Trust Type
Wo will KEOAST your hell box Into
new typo for ono-half tho oriKlnal
cost of new typo. SKND FO Jt CAT
ALOG AND IIECA8TINO PLAN.
1 Wc Will Pay th Freight
TEXAS TYPE FOUNDRY
SAN ANTONIO, TI5XA8
Life and Speeches
of W J. Bryan
Illustrated ocUto, 45 pages, published Ib
1800, notblntt later, nothing In print moro
complete. A lew copies, last of publisher's
stock at greatlyreduced price. Substantially
bound in cloth, by mail, prepaid, f 1.00 copy.
CH. WALTERS, .
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