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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (March 15, 1907)
MAnCII 15, 1907 The Commoner. 13 fPf . Throe Singors When Lewi? lilts his songs o' homo, And Stanton lilts o' spring; When Gritfln lilts o' days to come, i catch their rythmic swing. 1 catch the gleam o' window lights And smell the incense rare Of, coming -days adown the wnys When I can raise my songs o' praise, . With never doubt nor care. When Lewis sings his songs o' love My thoughts to homeward turn; L see the gleams of treasure trove Where love's bright altars burn. The laughter of my children rings Like music on the air; Far down the street the music sweet Bids tired feet make haste to meet . The laughing loved ones there. When Stanton tunes his songs o' spring The incense laden breeze Makes all the bare, brown branches swing Upon the budding trees. And smoother grows life's road for me, And light my load of care; While brighter beams the springtime gleams That wake the streams from ice-locked dreams, And joy beams everywhere. When Griflin sings o' days to come, When safe in port at last, My ship with load of joy is home. And sure kedge anchor cast, I see behind the clouds of toil The sun of rest shine bright; I see .the rays that light the ways - Adpwn the days where life's road lays, . And thank God all is right. When Lewis, Stanton, Griffin, sing, I see dull care take rapid wing; And brighter grows the world for me While listening to this singing three. Explained "Where did you pick up all those nuto expressions? You don't own a machine." , "No, I merely "dodge them. It's really wonderful how it enlarges one's vocabulary." Precautionary "W'ot youse readin' dem 'help wanted pages fur, Dusty? Goin' t' look for a job?" "Nope; jus' lookin' where de' jobs is so's I kin avoid 'em." v Settled "Liar!" hissed the public official when confronted by the charge of graft. "Liar-r-r-r!!" he hissed some more. Whereupon . his personal organs claimed a vindication and declared tl.at the incident was closed. The Poot He wrote a dainty little sonnet, And then a jokelet silly; The first to get an Easter bonnet, 'The next an Easter lily. And then he bent his head and wrote W-Lth tired brain a stack o' Stuff to boom some soap And pay for his tobacco. fiii Ki For fifty years a stop! ressieSy of superior menti. Absolirteiythursaless. Medical Note The president has recently had much to say about swollen fortunes. The trouble is that wo have so inauy dropsical stocks. Something Lacking The American railroad magnate on a tour of the world, paused to look over the ruins of the Appian way. "Those old Romans were great road builders," he remarked. "BUt they lacked one essential quality." .Knowing that the magnate breathed only words of wisdom we waited upon his convenience. ,"Thoy built the road all right," he continued. "But my most diligent search fails to reveal any bonus or stock issues." Then, and not until then, did we fully realize how lacking in grasp oC great opportunities the ancient Ito Lians were. Afterthought . The oil magnate was in a brown study, his forehead wrinkled with cave. "X seem to have made a mistake In my calculations," he mused. After thinking a while a smile stole over his rugged features. Need less to say it was. not the first theft framed up in that room. But that is merely en passant, whicji is French, for "on the side." "1 have it!" exclaimed the oil mag nate. ' "Hereafter I will raise the price of oil before making my contri bution to the s educational fund, and thus" escape ttie jibes of an ungrate ful public." Having thus determined the oil magnate proceeded to take time by tho forelock. In 2007 "Before I answer your proposal, Mr. DcGrubbe," said the fair Gwendoline DeMontmorency, "I must tell you something." The fair cheeks of Gwendoline grew pale, and Harold DeGrubbe started to voice a protest. "Hold, narold," said the fair Gwendoline. "Better far that I should ted you now. There is a skeleton iu our family closet." "What matters it, darling," cried Harold. "Together, hand in hand, we vuil bid the skeleton to do its worst." "But you should know before yon decide, Harold," said Gwendoline. "Then say on, beloved," moaned the youth. "Harold, dear; there is a blot upon our escutcheon. One of my ancestors was a chief engineer on the Panama canal job." But Harold was game. Too Precocious "It's all right for- our sons to be precocious and enterprising beyond their years," said Mr. Bings. "But my boy has carried it too far." "What's the matter now?" queried his friend. "Matter enough. That twelve-year-old boy of mine has shown an inclina tion for electricity, and I have en couraged him. I've bought him bat teries and jars and coils and wire and that sort of stuff just 'as fast as lie asked for them, but it's all off now." "Well, go on." "0, it's" easy enough to say 'go on,' but it isn't so easy to go on. But there's the story. The other night I swis out a little late, and not wanting to wake up my wife and let her know just how late it was I tried to get jn without mailing any fuss. ' When I shoved my key In the keyhole I lit a dozen lamps over the house, rang a bell as big as a dinner-pail in the up per hall, sounded a buzzer on the head of my wife's bed and set off the alarm clock in the kitchen bedroom. That boy of mine had circuited the whole tiling with the metal on the door lock, and when I stuck in the key the cir cuit closed. It took me so long to ex plain that I've determined to put a stop to this electricity foolishness in the future." Rapid Transit Great publicity has been given to the slowness of the Maine man. ' It was said of him that if he lufil forty yards the start, stock-still would catch him. But that Maine man was a thunder bolt compared with the Lincoln man vho devoted fourteen years to having the seven year itch. And an Omaha man was so slow that he could not sing "Old Hundred." There is a man in St. Joseph who is so slow that when he writes a letter lie has to raise the date a couple of notches immediately After signing his name. And just think of the slowness of the people who have not yet caught on to the fact that Ilarrlmnn's testi mony before the intoreslatc commerce commission was a great joke on tho public. Optimistic Bimpkins is naturally grouchy and always quite sure that the world is going to the lemnition bow-wows. When ho came down town yesterday morning' his face was wreathed in smiles, and naturally enough Ave won dered what had caused the change. Therefore we asked: "Why the smile?" "Senator Spooner has resigned," he chortled. "But why should that cause you so much joy?" we queried. "0, I'm sorry to see Spooner retire, but it sets a precedent, and the senate is great on precedent," he said. But wo could not see the point and oogged for an explanation. "0, you thick-head!" he shouted. "See hero: Spooner has resigned. See?" We-saw. ."And that sets a senatorial preced ent. Grasp?" We grasped. "And the senators are great at fol lowing precedent.' Tumble?" We tumbled. ' "Well, there's Depew, Piatt and Penrose. Now can you grasp?" Wo grasped all right, but under no circumstances could we bring our selves around to Bimpkins' optimistic view. Brain Leaks Th.e other fellow's job always looks good; A fine house is not always a fine heme. A cheery smile is the best armor against the shafts of trouble. The man who fears death has not made proper preparations for living. It is a sure sign that a man looks his age when he begins to wonder if he" does. Some men boast loudly of their" "rights" in order to cover up their wrongs. A whole lot of unwillingness to work is blamed upon the innocent spring sunshine. Tho men who accept situations usu ally have to wait upon the men who hijstle out after jobs. What we are anxious to see is some 'model" caught in tho pose of doing something really useful. ' When housewives strike for the. eight-hour day there will be some real consternation In labor circled. This is the time of year .Svhen. poets talk about the "song of the robin.", Jjia you ever near a reuniting; -' 'J here may bo a lot of Malefaction In "playing oven" with a fellow, but there is seldom anything else in it. In largo cities It is quite probablo that an Increase of the park fund would result in a decrease In the no Hco fund. It Is all right to condemn wrong when you see It, but It is more satis fying to look for right that you may commend it. You cannot draw water from an mpty cistern. Life is verv much lilte a cistern. What you get out of it depends altogether on what you put into it. VALUABLE Prospective Customer (hi JOJO) I understand you have a broken set of "Roosevelt's Messages to Congress?" Book Dealer Yes, sir; with only volumes J7 and 02 inissing!-Puck. Food Poisons 90 Per,Ccnt 0f All Diseases the Result of Undigested Putre fying Foods. Men of affairs, women of .oclety and children with active brains are too often sedentary in their habits, giving little time to exorcise. To this evil is added that of high and irregular liv ingas u. result, the stomach cannot stand tho demands made upon it. Tho abused and overtaxed stomach does 'lot properly do the work of digestion, food taken in ferments and the poison permeates the whole system. The body loses in weight and becomes a prey for the attack of whatever dis ease It may encounter. Did It ever occur to you how busy that stomach of yours is? It only holds three pints, but In one year you force it to take in 2,400 pounds of ma terial, digest it and prepare it for as similation into the blood. No wonder it rebels when overworked. We crowd it with steaks and pastry, irritate its juices with spices and acids, and ex pect the stomach to do Its work. It can't do it. All over the inner layer of the stom ach arc glands which secrete the juices necessary to digestion. Tho entrance of food into the stomach Is the signal for these glands to do their work. The more the food, and the more in digestible, tin greater the demand upon them and upon the muscles of tho wall adjoining. Think of the tons of high-seasoned game, sweetmeats and appetizers crammed into this little four-ounce mill, and then wonder, if you will, why you are dizzy or nauseated or consti pated. Don't blame your stomach or curse your fate that you should be born so unfortunate. Blame yourself and apply the remedy, First, get a small package of Stu art's Dyspepsia Tablets, taking one after each meal and at bed time. They are not a medicine, but a digestive. Your stomach is worn out and needs help, not medicine. Stuart's Dyspep sia Tablets will do the wcrk that the stomach fails to do. There's enough power in one grain of Stuart's Dys pepsia Tablets to digest 3,000 grains or ordinary food, so you needn't fear that anything you eat' will remain in your stomach undigested. "" Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets will rout the poison because they remove the cause food fermentation. They are nature's own cure for dyspepsia. The host of troubles dyspepsia Is father of cannot be numbered, for a healthy stomach is the source of all health. Seize your opportunity before worse conditions confront you. Send today for a free trjal package of Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets. They will bring your stomach relief. P. A. Stuart Co., 83 Stuart- Bldg., Marshall, Mich. Tho 30 cent size for sale at your druggist's. ' ' E I ... K . XtJlJpl-fKfftitiiiJfaffti mSngfctaUaflfcAligA.a. iiBiiitni'Hnwii'i'iifiriniiiinririiirnnrinrTrrni