Jr -
FEBRUARY 1, 1007
The Commoner.
13
traries In this village," wo remarked.
"Sure. We voted a franchise for a
street railway company last year, and
then tho city bought the franchise of
itself and built tho street railway."
DON'T RUST FENCE
ftTBjfrW
40 Unrbon , Spring HteH, Kxlro
honriljr khIviiiiIhhI. No Anonla.
3? dHrn vc'w iri.n1' . rm mid
?ttitJ7Ji .m' Cntnloipia No. J40.
AJno 40 Style Lawn Funco, Cat.
IokuoC. OnlfiloKtio Frco. Writo
for ono or both.
THE, WARD FENPE CQ
lioxlO ilAJUOA', ixuianA
The Vote in Jimville
Tke polls wuz closed in Jimville, an'
th' countin' wuz begun,
An' candidates wuz watchia' th'
game;
An' each judge that writ th' figgers
had his left hand on a gun,
Which he fingered as he checkeed
off ev'ry name,
An' down in th' business centers they
wuz howlin' like kiotes,
For th' hour for inakin' totals wuz
past due ;
An' they wanted to be. gettin' news
about th' Jimville votes,
'Bout th' votes cast down in Jim
ville on tli' Slough.
An' th' candidates so anxious :
Build their hope o pullin' through
On th' votes cast down in Jimville,
In Jimville. on th' Slough.
Willyum Sikes who wuz th' sheriff, an'
John Smith who wuz a judge,
Had a little altercation 'bout th' law;
An' Bill Sikes he wuz determined, an'
John Smith ho wouldn't budge,
An' they made th' finest fight you
ever saw.
They wuz mixed up quite pormiskus
Bill wuz chawin' of John's ear,
An' John wuz haugin' onto Will
yum's throat.
But down in "th' business centers for
such news they didn't keer,
For they wanted for to get th' Jim
ville vote.
An' th' candidates were anxious-
An' a feelin' mighty blue
All dependin' upon Jimville,
On Jimville on the Slough.
An' whenth' votes wuz counted an'
th' blamed thing wuz a tie,
There wuz horror to be seen on ev'ry
face;
For 'tis writ in Jimville annals that
th' judges have t' die
As th' only way to fitly end th!L case.
An' they're still a scrappin' yonder an'
a sheddin' of their coats,
An' their language turns th' atmos
phere to blue;
'Cause they can't get any figgers tell
in' 'bout th.' Jimville vote,
About th' vote of Jimville on the
Slough.
An' the candidates are waitin'
An' feelin' awful blue
About th vote of Jimville,
Of Jimville on the Slough.
In the Old, Old Days .
Rummaging through an old box in
the attic the other day we ran across
MR. METCALFE'S BOOK
"OF SUCH IS
THE KINGDOM"
And Other Stories from Life
NOW READY FOR DELIVERY
Chancellor Andrews, of tho State Univer
sity, lias written to Richard L. Metcalfe tho
'following note: "When I had read a chap
ter in 'Of Suoh is tho Kingdom,' I said:
'Hero is a jewel!' Reading on and on I
changed to: 'Hore Is a whole casket of jew
els!' Tho hook is rich with flno thought and
tender and elevating sentiment. It will have
a host of readers, none of whom will give It
up till ho has read it through."
Cloth hound, printed frqm olear typo on
heavy paper, gilt side and haok stamps, 200
pages. Sent prepaid on receipt of $1.00.
Address
RICHARD L. METCALFE
I Care 'The Commoner .LINCOLN, NEBR.
an old book, an oblong book, ragged,
dog-earred and grimy. It was "The
Choirister," and the mere sight of it
carried us back nearly a generation.
Remember the smooth and silken
voiced gentlemen that dropped into
your quiet country community about
thirty-five years ago and organized a
class in "vocal culture?" We called
them "singing schools" in the old days,
and while the course of instruction
was in progress we met three nights
a week at the schoolhouse and prac
ticed our do-ra-me-fa-sol-la-se-do's until
we could see nothing but scales and
bars and trebles and bass, and alto
and tenor clefs and sharps and fiats
in our dreams.
There were usually about seventy or
eighty of us in the class, most of us
youngsters, but a few "oldsters were
mixed in. The oldsters took it all very
seriously, but we youngsters cared
much less for vocal instruction than
we did for other things that came
along with the "singing school." There
were no theaters in those days none
that we could reach. Social oppor
tunities were few and far between.
And when the singing teacher hove- in
sight the young people received him
gladly. Three nights a week, with an
equal number of opportunities to walk
home with "her" say, those old sing
ing schools were great, weren't they?
And we sat there that day and for
an hour looked through that old book.
From every one of its tattered and
soiled pages there gleamed. the rosy,
smiling tace of some old' schoolmate.
There was the old song which began:
"One day nearer, sings the .sailor."
The verses were sung as a soprano
and alto duet, and everybody came in
on the chorus. Gracious, how beau
tifully Laura Wetzel and Bettie Miller
used to sing the duet, Laura the alto
and Bettie the soprano. Whore are
they now? And here's another one:
"O, the singin' skule is beautifule."
Wouldn't you like to hear the old
crowd sing that again? What wouldn't
you give to hear George Graybel sing
bass again? And wouldn't you walk
a long mile just to hear again the
voice of Uncle Ben as he tried to make
his weak baritone voice -carry the .air
of "Larboard Watch?"
Talk about your grand operas, and
such likes! Huh! We'd agree never
to attend another grand opera if some
one could and would just give us a
chance to drop back thirty years and
spend another hour and a half in the
old village schoolhouse, taking "vocal
lessons" and singing with the old
friends, Mn the old way, the oldr old
songs that peer so familiarly from the
pages of this old book.
Strange
"Who is that cadaverous looking
individual over there; the one with
the long hairand the mournful expres
sion?" we asked, being a stranger in
the city.
"That's Bllkins, tho village hum
orist." "And the red-faced, jolly looking
fellow just coming around the corner?"
"That's Bunkus, the village under
taker." "And that meek little fellow edging
over towards the curl) who Is he?"
"That's Grabus, the man who runs
things in this village."
"And the clerical looking gent there,
the one with the white tie and tho
silk hat?"
"That's Nabbenv-the .chief of police."
"Well, things seem to go by con
Precaution
"Mr. Whillikous, have you secured
that accident policy for me?" queried
the trust magnate.
"Yes, sir."
"Have you seen to it that the codicil
to my will has been duly authenticated
and filed?"
"Yes, sir."
"All my papers been properly filed
and indexed, so that my affairs could
be straightened out at a moment's
notice?"
"Yes, sir."
"Have you prepared my suit case
with all tho necessary-articles for first
aid to the injured."
"Yes, sir."
"Very well, Mr. Whillikens, you will
prepare to accompany me to the depot.
I must take the train for my country
homo. Call me up by 'phone in an
hour, and if I have not arrived, come
for me in a special car with a plan toon
of surgeons. Good day, Mr. Whillikens."
ill if W ' JI TT-b$ T
Unnatural History
The cassowary is a bird
That's hard to capture, very.
Folks hunting for her plumes have
made
The cassowary wary.
Kansas City Times.
But once a cassowary strolled
Too near an alligator;
And with ono wriggle, snap and gulp
The alligator ate her.
Chicago Tribune.
The alligator, feeling fine,
Then called on the ant eater,
Arid saying, "See-saw game for mine,"
Made that ant-eater teeter.
Miscroscope Saturday.
The dromedary roamed about,
Or toiled to fetch and carry,
Until some Yankee fitted out
A dromedary dairy.
Indianapolis News.
But dromedaries oft are shy,
And this one loathed a spider
She ran away when one came' by,
Because the spider eyed her.
Cleveland Leader.
An agouti ate beetles and sich
As the guest of the anteater doughty
But the fare was so awfully rich.
It made him a gouty agouti.
New York Press.
The antelope would make a pet
For which we've long been hoping;
The trouble is how to prevent
The antelope eloping.
An Omission
"Mamma," remarked Dorothy, mak
ing a wry face after swallowing the
medicine, "you have forgotten some
thing." "What is it, my dear?"
"You forgot to say that it tastes
just as bad to you as it does to me."
"Why should I say that, Dorothy?
I do not take the medicine."
"I know you don't. And you don't
get a whipping when you give,, me one,
but you say it hurts you worse than it
does me."
Of Course
en-tlfrht. S'ld to tho Kannerat TTbot
alfil'rlrra. Fullr arratd. Catalnttftoo
GOllVED SPIITOO VF.NOV. flO. r
' u,x 23i Winchester, Indiana,
fhn PRfiTFrT
Our 3 book i for Inrrotora tnaiUt oo receipt of 6ci, nUrnp I
lab.j860J
Esiab.
U HI
mif
Uiy
CASH SALARY ?."lff SiE-r'S
to Introduce our tiuiirmilcvd Poultry ana rUocic
Kcincdlca. fand fnrcontrart, wotneau liulriM4i.1 furnish
tat references. U. It. IIIUI.KIl CO., X 414, Bir)fll), 11L
Hameless Horse Collars Saye
Don't wear otitjdo away with Rwoatpadsl tx
aujiiHiauiuin8i7.es win cure ni'e ulioui
lor, in oft practical and humane liorno
collar over tnado tor heavy work. Lighter,
better and cheaper than leather collar;
aluminum llnlKh. Wrtto today forcataloguo
and price. Aia-ntH wanted trwi territory.
HO WOll & Spauldlns CO.,UP. IS ,Caro, Ulcb.
Men or women
of any ago can
inaKc '!( mon
ey Wo teach
yoti triti. Old oitaMllhcd home. Work
hnfinmblf!. easy and llrthti nt home. Main
$ to $10 Per "'ay euro. Write to-doy.
ROYAL MANUFACTURING CO. Box aaos DetroU. Mick,
chiu mi i nee? WE pAY FR0Hr
drafted ripple 4c, budded poach 4c, buddorl
clmrry lco. Concord KrapuH Vi por 100.
Pluck LoeufltSl per 1000. Cntnidcto aolornrt
cat. freo. Oalbroitb Numerics, Box 84, f alrbury, Neb.
AAake m
oney
j
host quality
and Farm RocdA.
&
xr s vyou
-ttur tnim
V - " "
.trzyit. writo
Oardcn, 1'iowor
,. . ... -..- -.. ' - T 1
i iinf ah uniiii iniiiim.u lun -- n r -1
wvi1ui.Mira ,tu l.-fy -., ,nJ
S" .n! IE? "' cl Vlvtf VAibo1 "havV ru'ti
.. uu ,ii,m iiunX u-vy Xllni, nf Vnnu.rv
Inllllnn i,r.Ajl B.B - . - 11111 J . Ifj w
icwiturtui auJX o-" ." u.i, i. , t ii ...
Klnir" tho best .vV".' "?r '"i """.
liuad lettiico Jr. AT & S
"oVX QEBMAW NURBETIIEB,
tftv-r' v" iix.Ain.iur.,
i" KAV HI.
wf
cvurlntrov
rlttnfl .
.
Box
Hebratka.
-
Wo carry tho bent typcM of ?ocd corn
Krown. ivory varloty. uniform raln.laro
fform, carefully grown, well graded. Nocorn ,
can lo better than Iowa corn. Write for cat-1
aloft, information, etc.
W. W. VAN SANT & 8ON8,
Box 22. Forrogut, la.
The expense of marketing your product.
Would you minimize this item ?
Write
The Minimum Expense Selling Co.
Port Clinton, Ohio.
40, 60 or 90 Days' Trial on
S?I5
n JeliMoa I
M'ti tli
99
D
Vrelgkt
M. M. JOHNSON
Old Trusty
Try chicken raisins; on tho John
son plan. My people aro an on.
thuslaxtlc lot. Wo get tho results.
2year guarantee. Low price. Old
Trusty Catalogue tells the whole
story It's FHEE write for It today.
CO., CLAY CENTER, NEK.
Paint Without Oil
KemarkftMo Discovery That Cats
Down the Cost of Faint Seventy
Five Per Cent.
Approaching the manager of' the
great trust, we hesitatingly asked the ,
'question: "'' - ''
"Do yoii believe in electing sen
ators by direot'vote of the' people?"
"To be sure," "he replied.
But before we could express surprise
at his position on this momentous,
question he exclaimed. 1
"We are the people."
i. Tree Trial Package is Mailed to Every
one Who Writes.
A. L. Rico, a prominent manufacturer of
Adams, H. Y., has discovered a process of
making n now kind of paint without tho use
of oil. He calls It Towdrpalnt. It comes In the
form of a dry powder and all that Is required is
jcold. water to make a paint weather proof, flro
proof and as duraDlo as oil paint It adheres to
any surface, wood, stone or brick, spreads and
looks like oil paint and costs about ono-fourth as
much.
Write to Mr. A.. Elce, Mannf'r., lis North
St., Adama, N. Y., and ho will sond you a free
trial packago, also color card and full Informal
tlon Bhowlnc you how you can save a good many
dollars. Write to-day.
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