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The Commoner.
VOLUME 6, NUMBER 30
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aula and 3 cents In the upper penin
sula; the elimination of the use oi
tho cross at the head of the oanous
and the use before each candidate
voted for and enactment of laws mak
ing it a criminal offense for members
of the legislature to accept railroad
passes.
The platform also pays a compli
ment to Mr. Bryan.
THE CAT RETURNED
At a recent gathering of the clorgy
of his diocese Bishop Lawrence told
the following story on one of those
present:
There wns in this clergyman's con
gregation a woman named Thatcher,
who had the reputation of being a
great gossip and a chronic bore. Es
pecially did she delight in calling up
on the wife of her minister and nick
ing to pieces the other members of i
the congregation. When the good
man saw her coming he escaped out
the back door and remained away un
til ho thought it safe to return.
One afternoon, after staying out the
usual two hours, he returned home,
and Immediately upon opening the
door called to his wife in tones of
resignation:
"Mary, has that old cat gone yet?"
' To save her husband's reputation
for. hospitality the wife promptly re
piled: "Yes, dear, long ago, . and Mrs.
Thatcher is here now." Boston Herald.
covered. It has, accordingly, occurred
to some French scientists that some
considerable improvements could be
made in typography, working along
theso lines, and that increased legi
bility and rapidity of reading would
result. Some of these suggestions
have received a practical application
in some European advertising signs,
where legibility is a prime essential,
and the results have been most satis
factory. Harper's Weekly.
GOT WHAT SHE WANTED
Notwithstanding the flurry about the
packing houses and a few other ques
tions of national importance, the rate
bill Is always a topic of conversation
here.
They were talking about it in the
lobby of the house. "Well," said Rep
resentative Fred Landis, "I guess the
president got about what' he wanted."
"Sure." replied Representative Gar
ner. "He got what he wanted the
way the girl did who was traveling in
Mexico. She could speak no Spanish
and she wanted some milk. She
couldn't make the waiter understand,
so she drew a picture of a cow on a
piece of paper. The waiter under
stood then. He brought her a ticket
for a bull fight." New York Herald.
elated home extension, so he sent a
fine group photograph of the fourteen
Morrises to Washington.
The picture showed that it was a
very fine bird which had the Morris
homo on its calling list, but, alas! tt
was not of ' republican feather. It
seems now that only tho "right kind"
of stork is recognized at the White
House and that birds of democratic
populist or prohibitionist plumage are
not in the swim for office. No dainty
water cress postofllce at Centralia will
be allowed to fill the bill of an indus
trious democratic Btork. This ia the
ruling of an administration which hith
erto has stood high in storkdom. St.
Louis Republic.
NATURE
Nature is full of a sublime family
HkeneRS thromrhnnf- lipr -wnrlrH nnH
I delights in startling us with resemb
lances in the mo3t unexpected quar
ters. I have seen the head of an old
sachem of the forest, which at once
reminded the eyes of a bald mountain
summit, and the furrows of the brow
suggested the strata of the xoclc
There are men whose manners have
the same essential splendor as tho
simple and awful sculpture on the
friezes of the Parthenon, and the re
mains of the earliest Greek art And
there are compositions of the samo
strain to be found in the books of all
ages. What is Guido's RoanlirHoHn An.
rora but a morning thought, as the
horses in it, are only a morning cloud?
Emerson.
MITIGATION
The muck raker had just made an
official call, and would not be denied.
"Well," said the cornered citizen,
"I will own to being a self-made man
and a millionaire, but, by jinks, I'm
not from Pittsburg."
Thereupon the raker informed him
that there would be nothing doing
in the muck line. Philadelphia Ledger.
READING MADE EASY
In a study of the physiological as
pect of reading the curious fact has
been brought out that the character
istic features of letters are found for
the most part in the upper halves, so
that as the reader's attention Is here
directed he is often able to read a
line with the lower half of the letters
DEMOCRATIC STORK TURNED
DOWN
What! The Btork has been turned
down at the White House? Can it
be that the great Word. Thunderer who
issued his philippic against race sui
cide referred' exclusively to a repub
lican stork?
Earl Morris, a sturdy Missouri dem
ocrat, who wanted the postofllce at
Centralia, on the big family plank in
the Roosevelt platform, thought tho
bird under the presidential wing was
non-partisan. He was proud of the
twelve calls of the stork at his house,
proud to have a president who appro-
THE PRIMARY PLEDGE
I promise to attend all the primaries of my party to be held between
now and the next Democratic National Convention, unless unavoidably
prevented, and to use my influence to secure a clear, honest and
straightforward declaration of the party's position on every question
upon which the voters of the party desire to speak.
Signed.
Street ....... ..... Postofllce
County State Voting precinct or ward
-t
Fill out Blank and mall to Commoner Office, Lincoln, Nebraska.
I The Commoner &"Fir$t Voters1
A Lexington, Ky., Reader writes to The Commoner as Follows:
"I notice that the American Protective Tariff League is sending out circu
lars which read: Kindhj give us the name and address, etc, of one person who
will cast his first vote in the congressional election of 1906. We wish to forward
literature on flie subject of protection. Ash your neighbors to co-operate in the work?
"JSlow, I suggest that every Commoner reader mahe it his duty to send to The
Commoner office the name of one person who, at the next election, will cast his
first vote, then a sample copy of The Commoner could be sent to that person.
u I also suggest that every Commoner reader mahe it his duty to secure at-least
one of these 'first voters' as a yearly subscriber to The Commoner. If we can gel these
young mento read The Commoner regularhjweneed notfear for itieir political future."
The Commoner hopes that this suggestion will be acted upon by Commoner
readers generally. It is important that the u first voters" be impressed with the
value of democratic principles in popular government.
In order to encourage the campaign among "first voters" The Commoner will
be sent for sixty cents to anyone who is to cast his first vote at the congressional
elections of 1906 and whose name, accompanied by the subscription price, reaches
The Commoner office prior to election day in November, 1906.
f Any one desiring to avail himself of this opportunity must state in his letter
that the one in whose name the subscription is forwarded will cast his first vote at
the 1906 elections, and is therefore entitled to this rate.
Address All
Communications to
3
THE COMMONER,
LINCOLN,
NEBR.
in .