- ' TWf T"W V"" J
JULY 6. 1906
The Commoner.
13
S
HflRTHANn Typewriting, Bookkoonltiff,
nunnwnu roMnanshlp,otc.20teacnora!
., 1400 studonla, cheap board,
uuu iw,uw ounuoi uunuinp,
Graduates readily seenro altuatlons. Boautlful
lllnatratcd catalog FHEB. Write for it today.
I. 3L. MUSSEUHAST, Pros.
Box 223, Qem Pity Badness College. Quinoy,IH.
NORMAL
COMMERCIAL
SHORTHAND
TELEGRAPHY
STUDENTS
ENROLLED
961
Posltlins Sfcurod
or Tuition Refunded
CAR FARE PAID. En
ter any time, .select stu
dies. Send for free Cata
log for full Information.
Allen Moore, Pres.,
Cullllcothe, Mo.
tSfPTSS
PERSONALLY CONDUCTED
HOMESEEKER'S EXCURSION
To Sentinel Butte, Billings Coun
ty, North Dakota, via.
ILLINOIS CENTRAL RAILROAD
On Tuesday, July 10th. the ILLINOIS CEN
TRAL will run a second personally conducted
Homeseeker's excursion to Sentinel Butte,
Blllincs County, North Dakota, where many
fine homesteads arc still open for settlement.
A very attractive circular will be sent free
upon application.
Round trip rate from Omaha $24.00; call on
your nearest acent for rates from your homo
town and join the excursion party at Omaha.
Train leaves Union station at 8:30 p. m. Cheap
rates to other North Dakota points every Tuesday
during tho suminor months.
Sleeping car reservations and tickets at City
Tickot ofllco, 102 Farnam St., Omnha.
SAMUEL NORTH. Plst.l'iMB. Agont.
OKLAIIOJVSA Public Lands 505,000 acroB rich
Govornmont lands, noar Lawton, oponod by Con
gress to Homestead settlement ibis summer. Wo
havo Statehood; lino cllmato, good Boasons,
now tonus opened, bnslnoss opportunities. Maps,
comploto information, description. Ilomostoadlng
terms, oto., 50u. OATRON & CO., Lawton, Okla.
TTU3JHORNET1 Domocratsl Bubscribo for tho
Hornet, "tho Hottost Democratic Papor in Ameri
ca." Its tomporatnrols redbotand still boating. It
Ktlngs, bites, and fights for puro Jollorsonlan-Iiryan
Democracy. 80 cents por year or ?1 for club of four.
AddrossfTKIC HORNICT, Advanco, N. O.
PATFNTQ SECURED OR FEE
"" I CIl I 9 RETURNED
Free report as to Patentability, Illustrated Guldo
Book, and List of Inventions Wanted, sont freo.
EVANS, WILKINS & CO., Washington, D.O.
Central Missouri Farms Writo for illustrated
list of 100 farms: each doscrlbcd and priced. Full
information. Hamilton & Son, Fulton, Mo.
Foo
PATENTS that PROTECT-
Our 3 bou for IarcB torn mailed n naelpt of 0 ota. Uaaps
H.5.& A. U.LflUhT, Washington, D.U. Estab. 18B!
TPEES ARE FAMOUS
hfrvirT)lnnted: are olnnted
everywhere trees are grown. Free
nfninif nt Qitnorh fruits Black Ben.
King David, Delicious, etc.-SUrBfp's,lMblaM.M.
0F Catalog
0XOOaXOOOCKX)OOCODOOCXC00
ASSETS OF $1,327,179.94
is the Statement of
THE OLD-LINE BANKERS LIFE
of Lincoln.
No Bonds, no Stocks, no Wall St. Socurltlos.
Agents Wanted
OCXXOOCX300CX)00000000000000
HOMES FOR THOUSANDS
One and a quarter million acres to
be opened to settlement on the
SHOSHONE RESERVATION
Dates Of registration July 16 to 31
EXCURSION RATES
Less than one fare for the round
trip, daily July 12 to 29 via
20.00
JP
Round trip from Omaha, over the only
all rail route from Omaha to Shos
honi, Wyo., the reservation border.
GEO. F. WEST, General Agent,
Chicago & Northwestern Ry., -Omaha,
Nebraska.
Please send to my address pamph
lets, mapB.and Information concerning
the opening1 or; the Shoshone or Wind
River reservation to settlement.
:': .:
(Cut but this Coupon)
"Making Good"
Tho fellow who hurries and worries
and flurries,
And rushes and gushes and rants;
Who chases and races through all
public places,
With his eyes ever on the main
chance,
Will blunder, then wonder when ho
has gone under,
Why he all tho shocks never stood.
But he failed, for he paled and he
quivered and quailed,
When it came to the test "Making
good."
The halter and trimmer may catch a
faint glimmer
Of smiles and of wile3 of Dame
Chance.
In his dreaming and scheming may
catch a faint gleaming,
Of a goal that his eyes will entrance.
But he pales and he quails, and his
energy fails,
And he couldn't win out if he would;
For he sighs and he cries at the van
ishing prize
When It comes to the test "Making
good."
The fellow who's ready and (sturdy
and steady;
Who hustles and rustles and learns;
Acts honestly, fairly, uprightly and
squarely
That fellow success quickly earns.
Let him win it that minute ho will
be strictly in it,
And meet every test as he should.
He will work like a Turk, and a duty
ne'er shirk,
And go right ahead "Making good,"
Kismet
As soon as July's hot sun glows
There dawns upon our view,
The fiend incarnate who doth ask:
"I i h e f- y ?"
To Be Sure
Bimberly "I see that the beef
packers are now begging for a square
deal."
Jumperly "Yes, they have been de
tected in their square steal."
A Seasonable Fabie
Mr. Jimplecute, the eminent defend
er of national honor and pro-ponent
of the "Greater America" policy, had
just finished his pleasant task of as
sisting his children in their Fourth
of July fireworks exhibition. Mr.
Jimplecute was yery warm, very pa
triotic and very happy. Had he not
assisted in celebrating the natal day
of the great republic that was-' dedi
cated to human freedom, equal rights
and representative government?
Mr. Jimplecute walked down to the
gate which adorned the fence sur
rounding his fine mansion, thinking
to catch a breath of fresh air before
retiring to his slumbers. To his sur
prise he noted a small, dark-complexioned
man peer'ng through the orna
mental Iron bars of the fence.
"What are you doing there?' sharp
ly queried Mr. Jimplecute.
"L was merely watching the ex
hibition," replied the stranger. "It
was very fine."
"Ah, you .enjoyed it, did you?" asked
the grate; ;Mr. Jimplecute.
"Very,, much,, sjr,' replied the stran
ger, "ufc. might I make bold to ask
you the occasion for such a demon
stration?" '
' "W-h-at," stuttered." the. surprised
Mr. Jimplecute. "You don't mean to
say that you do not know that this is
tho glorious Fourth of July?"
"I am well aware of the date," re
plied the stranger courteously, "but
what has that to do with this great
display of fireworks?"
Mr. Jimplecute was so astonished
that for a few moments he was
speechless. When he recovered the
use of his tongue he proceeded to
explain.
"This is the anniversary of our na
tion's birth; the natal day of this
free and glorious republic; conceived
in liberty and brought forth by the
blood of our revolutionary sires. It
marlcs tho striking of shackles from
the limbs of free men. On this day the
Declaration of Independence was
signed, the document that set forth
the incontrovertible fact that all men
are born equal and entitled to life,
liberty and the pursuits of happiness.
It was, sir, the greatest document
ever penned by the hands of mortal
men. It gave representative govern
ment to the world and sounded tho
death knell of monarchical rule. Have
you never heard of the Declaration of
Independence?"
"Only once, sir," replied the
stranger.
"Ah, you are an ignorant foreigner,
eh?"
"I'm not ignorant, if a university
education dispels ignorance. But
whether I'm a foreigner or not Is a
disputed question. Your supreme
court, as I believe you call it, has not
settled that question beyond cavil.
Yes, I heard of the Declaration o In
dependence once."
"And where was that, may I ask?"
queried the puzzled Mr. Jim-plecute.
"In Manila, sir. I heard an Amer
ican soldier refer to is as a blanked
incendiary document, and he prohib
ited my people from reading it."
Mr. Jimplecute wanted to say some
thing, but before he could definitely
decide on what to say the small man
with the dark complexion bowed
courteously and disappeared in the
gloom of the evening of the glorious
Fourth.
"Aint no better flshin' placo in the
country."
"Thai's good." '
"You bet it's a good flshin' place."
continued tho countryman. Tho
shado'B mighty good, tho water's deep
and clear nn' you can git all th' flsh
worms you nood without diggin' a v
minute."
. "My, but I'm lucky to strike this
spot," said Mr. Cityman. What kind "
of fish do they mostly catch hero?"
"They don't ketch no flsh, mister.
There ain't no flsh in th' lake. But
it's a mighty flno placo to flsh just
the same."
Packingtown Logic
The great beef packer touched the
electric bell push and summoned his
confidential clerk before him.
"Have you agreed with our compet
itors as to the price we will pay for
hogs, sheep and beef cattle tomorrow?"
"Yes sir."
"Have you ordered a new supply
of formaldehyde?"
"Yes sir."
"Is our stock of salicylic acid large
enough to last through the month?"
"Yes sir."-
"All the offal and scraps worked up
for sausage and head cheese?"
"Yes sir."
"Did you discharge that bunch of
anarchistic union men and fill their
places with the imported laborers who
will work longer hours for 50 per cent
less wages?"
'Yes sir."
"Got everything all right, eh?"
"All your orders have been carried
out sir."
"That's good. You may go now.
Send me in Mr. Spacewriter. I want
tp give him a few pointers about that
article he is going to write demanding
a Square deal' for the great packing
interests."
Lots of Such Places
"Is. this a good place to fish?" asked
Mr. Cityman pf the countryman who
sauntered by.
Queries
Pray tell mo what did Mary land?
wnai uia connect! cut?
What was it made Virginia reel
Toward tho Terro hut?
Who made that awful Illl noise?
And why did Wiscon sin?
And when old Massachu sets dowC
Pray what does she "set" in?
Who is it owns the bulk of stock
In that New Moxi Co.?
And when will Philadelphia, Pa.?
How much does OhI 07
Brain Leaks
Fail once, try twice.
The friend easily made is usually
easily lost.
Childish hindrances are often a par
ent's best help.
Some men Imagine that their sur
liness is scdatcness.
The man who goes out looking for
trouble usually meets It half way.
Tho man who abuses his stomach
Is the man who abuses modern cook
cry. "The wagep of sin is death," and
there is no use trying to have them
reduced.
Tho prayers of some people sound
very much like a demand for a re
duction in the gas bill.
The proudest day in tho life of a
boy's parents Is when he brings homo
his first month's wages.
Some men have never yet found '
cushioned pew as easy a seat as a
wood-bottomed chair in the opera
house.
DEMOCRATIC STATE CONVEN
TIONS The democratic state convention for
Pennsylvania met at Harrisburg and
decided to endorse the candidate for
governor nominated by what is known
as the Lincoln party. Tho Lincoln
party is composed of men who havo
broken away from the republican
party, in Pennsylvania and arc fight
ing the republican machine, Tho
candidate for governor nominated
by tho Lincoln party and en
dorsed by the democrats is Lewis
Emory, Jr. The democratic convention
also nominated for lieutenant gov
ernor, Jere S. Black, who is a grand
son of the famous Jere Black, who was
attorney general in President Bu
chanan's cabinet and the son of the
late Chauncey F. Black, well known
among the democrats of the country.
William F. Creasy was nominated for
auditor-general, and John J. Green for
secretary of Internal affairs. Mr.
Creasy Is the democratic leader of
the house of representatives and waa
recently nominated for auditor gen
eral by the prohibition convention.
r''he platform dwells on state is
sues except where it congratulates the
country upon the fact that "the only
prominence which the present repub
lican national administration has at
tained has been achieved by the feeble
and pretended application of the prin
ciples enunciated in democratic plat
forms." The platform declares Jn fa
vor of the rule of the people as against
domination by corporation; improved
election laws; rigid regulation of all
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