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The Commoner.
VOLUME Q, NUMBER 3
Watch for $5.45
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Relics
A. llttlo box with toar-stalnod lid
ltonoalh which many things lio hid.
And often when tho twilight's gloom
Paints memory faces o'er tho room,
1 leave the world of toil and care,
And seated in the old arm chair,
I open tho lid and fondly gazo
Upon tho things of. other days.
r
A llttlo box with tear-stained lid
Beneath which sacred things are hid.
A llttlo shoo out at tho too
O, baby boy, I lovod you so -.
tiny cap with upturned brim
That eloquently speaks of him
Thoso are tho troasures laid away
To ga,o upon at close of day.
A llttlo box with toar-stalnod lid
Beneath which treasured things aro
hid.
A brolcon top, a toy, a whip,
. A cvlpplod ox from Noah's ship;
A tiny stocking all the wealth
That men secure by work, or stealth,
. Would not suffice to buy from mo
, One thing I ope tho lid to see.
A llttlo box with tear-stained lid
Beneath which lovo worn things aro
hid.
As long as Death's dark angol roams
To lay a blight on happy homos,
Full many a box will hide away
Tho relics of a happlor day;
And when tho evening's echos call
Upon their lids hot tears will fall.
Called Down
Mr. Stonyfellor "I do- not boliove
n lio is over justifiable."
Mr. Cynics "Nor do I. By tho
vay, Mr. Stonyfellor, your wis is not
on straight."
havo been offered, but so far none has
been correct.
Sometimes in fact very frequently
the number of rows will differ, but
always thoro Is an oven number. This
did not "just happen." There Is a
reason for it, and what this depart
ment wants to know is, can any
reader glvo tho reason. Do not waste
timo looking for an ear of corn with
an odd number of rows, but get to
work trying to discovor tho reason for
the oven number. Cut an ear of corn
crosswise in the mlddlo and study tho
end, for right there lies tho secret
of tho wholo thing. Who will be tho
first to find tho reason? When you
think you havo found it, write It out
and send it to "Missouri," care The
Commoner, Lincoln, Nebr.
Nothing To Say
Tho workingman who stood charged,
with contempt of court, having vio
lated an injunction forbidding him to
address a fellow' workman, was or
dered before the bar.
"Havo you anything to say why
sentence to jail for sixty days for
contempt should not bo passed upon
you?" queried the irate and offended
judge.
"Nothing at all," replied the pris
oner. "I'm no Standard Oil magnate,
and although they say that money
talks all that I havo wouldn't make
an audible whisper."
Trembling with wrath the offended
justice ordered the workingman into
the donjon keep.
Successful
"Codgers must bo getting awfully
rich".
V-Wtiat makes you think so?"
-"His memory is becoming fright
fully poor."
Elasticity
"This talk about the need of a more
elastic currency makes me tired."
"How's that?"
"When a fellow has to spread a
nino-dollar-a-weok salary over the
needs of a family of five it strikes me
noei'? iS n0t the grentest
Many Reasons
"What reason did Codgers glvo for
ignoring tho order of tho court?"
i.e ?avo,nno I" ho has about a
hundred and fifty million"
sont?"IUmdrea and flfty 'million rea
lnr YmOTlc?CU preceilod b' a dol-
An Ear of Corn
rotopSr n ng thIs PWtment
ioroired to the queer fact that an
ear of corn always contained an oven
HuT of thT,of kernG18'
of EEL n h boy anU Bin readers
this is true. Several explanations
Failed
"I understand that your theatrical
venture was a failure."
"Yes," I mado several mistakes right
at tho start."
"What?"
"I devoted all my energies to get
ting good people and a clever play,
but I overlooked the trick scenery,
the horse race, the sawmill, the
threshing machine and the steamboat
explosion."
Deceived
Johnnie, this is the third time you
have come to history class unpre
pared. Have you any excuse to offer
for not having your lesson?"
"Yessum. I'm a victim of misplaced
confidence."
'Explain yourself, Johnnie."
thJT days ag0 I heard Pa say
that history repeats itself,' but I
w?1 f0Puifc to, repeat itself for me,
but it won't do it."
j niHf
Cure hoarseness and sore
throat caused by cold or use
01 the V04Ce. Absolutely harmless.
His Mission
Mr. Goodheart"Your mission no
an editor is a high one. T? you it is
given to conserve the morals of tho
community, to upbuild the"
ottSnn?6 SIoPic-"0 come
pit! I don't make my money by orbit
ing good things, but by refraningfrom
printing scandalous things."
The Hypocrite
n i :, i"M"w "neiactor, .said tho
Great Manufacturer, leaning back in
his upholstered chair and -inittinJ hi?
$ on the mahonyle
"To bo sure I am. I have buiiitort
here a model factory. From a S4
itary standpoint it can Jinf L
colled. The ventilation is superb Z
lighting is scientific, the toi?5 VJ i
"Von Z lft 1110re COUld I d0?"
lm mIt Pay wages that would
enable your employes to live.
"But what interest is that to me.
My responsibility ends when tho six
o'clock whistle blows."
The Great Manufacturer puffed con
tentedly at his perfecto, little reckon
ing that Retribution was listening.
Brain Leaks
Pleasuro is doubled by division.
Tho wise parent is always a press
censor.
Will & Must hold a mortgage on
success.
A bird on the hat sings no songs
of welcome to spring.
Some people who pose a3 cynics
are only cheap mimics.
Matrimony and parsimony are not
conductive of harmony.
Cheerupathy is a school of medicine
that does not issue diplomas.
Only the foolish give themselves
cause for regretting twice the same
action.
A whole lot of foolish men think
that fun depends altogether on what
it costs.
Charity begins at home, but if it
is the real brand it soon outgrows its
native place.
There is something wrong about the
father who is not a hero in the eyes
of his little ones.
- There are thousands of children
yearning for the caresses that are
wasted on worthless dogs.
We have seen men who continually
b.oasted of their business honesty
while keeping one eye on the sheriff.
We can not blame a man for beinrr
unwilling to go home early in the
evening when the children are all
away.
When a man tells you that he would
like to have his faults pointed out to
him, do not do it if you value his
friendship.
When all of the pretty little home
ornaments, go into the daughter's
room the son is very apt to look for
his pleasant things down town.
Has any one ever been able to ex
plain why a schoolboy is always most
interested in his lesson just when it
is time to do the evening chores?
UNCLE JOE HAS "MANNERS"
Speaker Cannon. umhronnioao
slopped up the walk to the White
House executive offices .in a down
pour this morning. A dozen feet
down the drive he stooped and care
fully wiped his wet and muddy shoes
on the wetter and muddler grass and
emptied a pint of water from the brim
itwihat Tlien he stePPed inside
with the complacent conviction that
TJa? Gen PrPerIy neat.
i had umbrella when I
left my house to walk up here," said
Mr. Cannon to a friend and colleague
whom he met in tho lobby, and who
gloved, umbrellaed, galoshed, mackin
tosh, scarfed and gaitered, was still
cussing the weather, "I wouldn't have
Ll7' ThG u,mbrella habIt would be
mighty expensive for me."
JiS F??lo Joe- .went n to see the
ruiaiucul LO pay nis respects. Wash
ington correspondence Now York
World.
TWO DECISIONS
, It is somewhat difficult to determine
which of tho supreme court decisions
is the most desirable. That decision
of the supreme court of Colorado
which holds that ballot boxes may
be opened to permit of stuffing or th
decision of tho a,m-a -""' ?r.uie
ISLtT that bTotrb
KES boTopenod aft they have been
stuffed. Lonemont (Colo.) Times '
These figures t11 exactly what wo ars dolng selling a $20.00
watch (or $5.45. Wo don't claim that this Is a 140.00 watch
or 50.00 watch, bnt it Is a$S0.00 watch. A leading watch
manufacturer, being hard pressed for ready cash, recontly sold
tis 100,000 watches watches actually built to roUU at 920.00.
There Is no doubt that we could wholesale) them to dealers for
$12.00 or 113.00, but this would Inrolvo s great amount of labor,
time and expense. la tho end our profit would bo little more
than It Is at solllnc tho watch direct to tho consumer at $5.45.
ThoEvlnstou Watch, which wo offer at 5.45 Is an Itn.
21 Jowclcu, flnoljr balanced and perfectly adjusted movement.
It has specially selected Jowols, dust band, patent regulator,
enameled dial, jeweled compensation balanco, douhle hunt,
tug case, eenulno cold-laid ond handsomely engrared.
Kach natch Is thoroughly timed, toted and regulated, before
tearing tho factory and both the case and movement are guar
nntccd for 25 years.
Clip out this advertisement and mall It tons to-day wlthVour
name, postofllco address and nearest express ofllce. Tell us
whether you want a lady's or gent's watch and wo will oond the
watch to your express offlco at once. If It satisfies you, after
a careful examination, pay the express agent $5.40 and express
cliarges and tho watch Is yours, but If it doesn't please yoa
return it to us at our expense
A 155-Year Guarantee will be placed In the front case of
the'rratch wo send you and to the first 10,000 customers wo will
send a beautiful gold-laid watch chain, Free. Wo refer to
tho First National Hank of Chicago, Cnpltal $10,000,000.
NATIONAL CONSOLIDATED WAT01I OO.
UepUftft ,JlUOAtiO
PORTRAITS?!!?. Framesl'iZ
SO dnu credit to all Aaents. Catalog ft 8 AX!'J,K OUTFIT FRKK.
COSSOUfilTKUrOBTHAlTCO. 87875 iT.Xadlsoa M. Chkax
$80 A MOUTH SAURY TM sms
tm fatroduco emr Guaranteed Poultry sad Bteck
UemcdJc. 8ond for contraot two mean baslnoss and fur
olsh best reference. O.B.BIQLiutO.,X 414 BprUgseld, Hi,
The Langworthy Spavin Cur
Tho cure that cures, has made thousands of dol
lars for owners of lame horses by making them
sound. Sent postpaid to any part of the world
on receipt of two dollars. Guaranteed to cure
the worst cases of spavin, ringbone, splint, etc.,
or money refunded. Send for circular. Lewis
Bros., Proprietors, Jordan, N. Y.
ill I IboirtPAIHT CRPF
nkkjr New Bis Paint 11 dill
.. t . Book tells yon all about "
paint, how to know Rood paint from bad. Tells why
my mado-tW)rdor PAINTS nro tho host and safes
for all purposos. Guaranteed olght years. Two full
pnllonsto try, frcoif you oro not satWfled. Jrftrgest.
handsomest paint book ovor mado; has Brent doublo
pages Color juimplca in greatest varl ty of tints. Costa
riil ?l?J50ut ."ft to. ou- Wrto today-r-Addross
0.1UUABL,TlHl'alatMaa, 713Y011r8l St. Levis
RUBBER-TIRE1
OHBtoWith
nH p a'
IYIJHI appoii
" fyiy. fajiavr
TIOETOPBUGGYSri
ik With leather. quarter UPF
top and all up-to-date I t
appointmentfl.Guarau-' IthBteell
teed 2 years. Sold on T,r" S9 I
30 DAYS FREE TRIAL
This and many other bar
Siituii fully described la
our lme cawuoe. we are
bona. fide manufacturers,
fnotnrrnn- W ,..??,? Bl . TBH at
a rnr vw ". i!Jr . ""AiAJBiyiea or yeuioies from
fZb?u np BJ?,d ,100 "l'103 oC harness from 4U40 up.
K ?yT0hl0loorharn08,,untl1 oa hear fromus.
.. . . uy jut jtcg money-Having Catalogue,
v. o, duwut a, CART CO
(u. aoa umoinnatl, o.
APRON
PAHERN
Thl. I. .. t..l.
" o udsii apron
pattern ever offered and
It Is something svurr
lady needs. You cannot
ff I t kaM!iii.JHl.l. a.
one and all new eubserlb.
B W UiD
PeflSlfi's Pmu,!.,. Mnnlhl..
will receive one free. This Is a
prise pattern. Takes lie vd. n
ft'iSS:1 0V3& J' on'r
- wWH. m.miu uiuuium ana
Urea size. ThkPkow'bPopu.
WR MONTntv Is a fine. 24-nair
bea.utlfnliir in.i.."?fA rJ!'
m&rtn?fZrZZZZ2 "0"lB
a?lrfirii-.,""
Sffi2fn?. ?!!2f.5? we'
inw;rK"j?-"
ini,T w11""'i!u."row
Flowers. Chats with'
Girls, etc. It Is bein
J8uo and is nowone of
uT-.""01' "Popular'
ii x7 Ppers pub
lished, it woujd be
but in ordor to lS:'
wuuucoouriuag
wne to now road
ors wo 8ond Thm
I KIII'I UIO IJynr
Jjh Monthly a
i year ana
the apron pat
toru for only
w. AuurosD,
PEOPLE'S
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