The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923, December 29, 1905, Page 12, Image 12
ht - r t wn vvwwfrm 9, '1g((P)P''5,WWfPW!li'IWR,wfPWJi!')PBTBT The Commoner. VOLUME 5, NUMBER BO 12 . .' -In Nineteen Hundred and Six There are numerous tilings I am eager to see In Nineteen Hundred and Six. Some things that are needed, I think you'll agree, In Nineteen Hundred and Six. Reforms in the senate, reforms in the Reforms 'in the city, Insurance and freight And these we must have or forlorn is our fate In Nineteen Hundred and Six. The men we elect to high ofllces must, In Nineteen Hundred and Six, Stand firmly for justice and not for a trust, In Nineteen Hundred and Six. The money that people save up for the day When rain shall descend from the clouds thick and gray Must never be used in the boy one of those infernal snare, drums for a Christmas present." Jaggerly "Did you give his boy anything?" Groucherly "You bet I did. Sting erly hates anything like discord and I sent his boy one of those toy slide trombones." '96 way In Nineteen Hundred and Six. I want to see senators stand firm and true In Nineteen Hundred and Six, And give to the people the" laws overdue, In Nineteen Hundred and Six. I want to, see Piatt walking up to confess He's using the senate to save his ex press, And solemnly promise no more to transgress, In Nineteen Hundred and Six. A sight that would strike me as being quite fine In Nineteen Hundred and Six Would be to see Chauncey his toga resign In Nineteen Hundred and Six. And then to see Aldrlch, Penrose and Reed Smoot, A.nd Foraker, Dick, and some more, follow suit Twould help out a Dody now in disrepute, In Nineteen Hundred and Six. We would like to see Panama dirt quickly fly In Ninteen Hundred and Six, And fewer piebiters who are living so high, In Nineteen Hundred and Six. Instead of the horde 'of officials now there And talking "sea level" and working so rare, We'd like a. canal that is built on .the square In Nineteen Hundred and Six. And one other tiding we would joy y fully hail In, Ninteen Hundred and Six A lot of big grafters- and thieves thrust in jail In Nineteen Hundred and Six. Give us less of "big stick" in .a poor fellow's case, And more of "big stick" on the men in high place; filvo us all rich and poor a fair start in yie race tilings and then squeezed his waist up like a wasp? Did you ever see a man do anything so foolish?" "I never did," admitted Miss Cos tique. "And I never saw a woman hanging over a bar until midnight getting 'rested' after a hard day's work; nor tilting her hat on the back of her head and wiping her mouth on a dirty towel hung on the end of a bar; nor standing on the corner ogling the men who went by; nor whooping it up for reform on election day and voting with the ward heel ers and bums; nor spending a dollar for cigars for the girls and then growling because her husband spent 30 cents for a pair of bargain counter shoes for the baby; nor bunching around a sloppy table In a back room and singing 'Soldiers' Farewell' in maudlin tones; nor going home smel ling like a combined distillery and tobacco factory and growling because her husband didn't have supper ready; nor spitting out a big chew of fine cut before pressing her lips to the lips of her little ones; nor spending the last dollar of the week"s wages for booze when the family at home was hugging a cold stove and looking at an empty larder; nor " But the cynical bachelor had fled, slamming the door viciously behind him. "And I wasn't even started," com plained Miss Costique In a sorrowful tone of voice. A New Year's Greeting I hope the New Year brings" to you A host of good things in review Good health, and strength to do your part In all life's work. A willing heart To share the woes of bellow men And help them bear their burdens. Then I wish for you the love that Ilea And shines and gleams from dear ones eyes. I wish for you the handclasp warm Of honest friends who stand the storm; ' Of friends who stick in time of need And prove to be true friends indeed. For you I wish the skies of blue, A heart of oak, a purpose true, And that reward which 'cornea to one Who sees a task begun and done. I wish for you peace, joy, content; A life of hope and faith well blent Into that calm and peaceful whole That says "All's well" unto the soul. I wish for you God's guiding care; Of life's good things your proper share; Good friends, good neighbors and good cheer All good I wish you this New Year. the unmarried men from the nfrw i eat Christmas turkey with S? , is so thoughtful." U3, n "Uh-huh," replied Mrs. LoncwP,i who had lots of experience X' haps he doesn't like turkey hash Vmi turkey soup." ' ana Began Wrong "I'm awful busy these days, peK. gerly. I'm writing up some rules that will reform the game of football" "You are wasting your time, Scat terly. Rules won't help any. You've got to reform the people who insist on seeing the present kind of foot-ball. Her Preference Two little sisters sat upon the floor a few days ago, telling each other what they wanted for Christmas. "I want a dolly with real hair' that will open and shut her eyes and cry" "I want a dolly, too," said the other one. "But I want -mine made out of real meat." Unfair "O, mamma! What did Santa bring you?" "He brought me a lovely diamond ring, my dear."' "And what did he bring you, papa?" "The bill, my son." Little Willie Noting that his sister was not quite ready to come down into the parlor where Mr. DeSpoonamore was wait ing, Little Willie thoughtfully decid ed that it was up to him to enter tain the company for a few moments. "How is the world treating you, Willie?" queried Mr. Spoonamore. "All right, sir," said Little Willie in his politest tone. "That's good, Willie. I'm glad of it. Can I do anything for you?" "Yes, sir," replied Little Willie. "You can tell me if your mouth is sore." "Tell you if my mouth is sore!'; exclaimed the astonished Mr. De Spoonamore. "Why do you ask that?" "I just wanted to know, sir. I heard sister tell papa that If she didn't hook you by Christmas it was all off, and I just wondered if the hook had hurt; that's all." Our Beautifur Language "And now that you have been elect ed to the United Stntes senate," said the exultant committee, "we are sure you will stand by the people in their fight against wrong." "That I will," ejaculated Senator elect Graball. "I will stand by the people." When the last of the committee had retired and left the successful can didate alone he muttered to himself "What a convenient language ours is, to be sure. I didn't say I would stand with the peopte.' I merely said I would stand by." . Foxy "My husband is so kindhearted. He insisted on bringing home several of Brain Leaks They can't dig canals with politics. The man who hustles has no time to mourn. The real Christmas is of the heart, not of the purse. Pluck and Push make a team that keeps the double-tree even. A great many "young men have been ruined by trying to live away from their jobs. It always makes us tired to read what some bachelor says about mar ried life. The man who waits and does his work in a hurry usually finds himself with plenty of time to worry. The trouble with most fathers is that they deal out to. their sons a lot of advice they never followed them selves. Every once in a while we see a seventeen-year old boy who makes us wonder how in the world we ever for got so much. MR. BRYAN IN JAPAN ;;in."Ninetden Hundred and Six. Things Unseen The cynical old Bachelor and the pert young maiden had been having a quarrel. '-"Did you over see a man who paint ed his cheeks, twisted his hair up into impossible shapes, perched on liis head a hat made of feathers and Some New Year Thoughts "It's a mighty mean man who will let thoughts of the New Year bills cast a cloud over his holiday happi ness. The best way to swear off is to just quit. The man who waits until New Year's day to reform seldom makes it stick through the week. You lived last year in vain if it doesn't help you to live next vear uetter. The wise man will spend New Year's day preparing for better work in the future, and not in the mourn ing over the failures of the past. The. .wise man quits; , the foolish man tries to "taper off." The Japanese Times of Frjday, Oc tober 20, prints the following; This morning the Keio-gljlku uni versity had the honor of a visit from the eminent American, whose name is on everybody's lips just now Mr. W. J. Bryan. He drove up to the main entrance of the university sharp at the appointed hour, namely, a quar ter after nine and was met there by President Kamada and the faculty, who immediately ushered him to the middle of the corridor leading from the "Preparatory" buildings to the university class rooms. The students were drawn up on the spacious lawn tennis ground facing the corridor. It was raining then, but the enthusiasm of the boys rose above the elements, Exchange of Civilities Groucherly "That man Stingerly is the meanest man in town." .Taggerly "What makes you say by referring to the unfavorable stale of the weather, on account of which he appreciated the students' enthu siasm all the more. He then said: "I came here today to do honor to the founder of your school whom I have long since learned to admire." Proceeding, Mr. Bryan dwelt on the fact that the late Mr. Fukuzawa had by his unique conduct won the noble title of the "Great Commoner." The title had a special,.slgnificance to the speaker, because he was the editor oi a journal called The Commoner, t lie aim of which was to represent tne great mass of the American people and to stand guard over their rights onrl fnforaafa Tor1innR the leaSOU why Mr. Fukuzawa was called the and in the rain they stood, giving I "Great Commoner" was a little differ ent, Mr. Fukuzawa won cue ""u " cause he refused all titles and pre ferred to be one of the people. J America many people -wish to ie " office, regarding it as the source oi power and influence. But a m" might be so great as to be inflen"u'; without an office maiviauuuj -- Groucherly "He knows how T hnto J noise, and yet he maliciously gave my over the assemblage. Ho 'commenced hearty cheers as the distinguished vis itor fronted them. Another tremend ous cheer went up as Mr. Kamada introduced Mr. Bryan to the audience in a few but most appropriate words. Mr. Bryan had begun to speak. His strong, sonorous voice emanating from a man who is a perfect model of physical development and high in tellectual mien, and beaming with the goodness of heart that he appeared to ue at once cast a spell, as it were, and above official greatness. Fukuzawa was a great man; he nte ed no office to make him pea ' 7 t0 out an office he was great enougn be influential among his fellow men A J'd Yi. Wjirtv,.-fcfcAjfctofrytt nifitmiitmj&i-iSilbm-yittitftnttm ni.Tririi luljiiij t4itwraiiMni uuviimmrta JtfrXL.W;.