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The Commoner.
iVOLUME 5, NUMDER 23
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Laugh and Hustle
Arc things going wrong with you?
Laugh and hustle!
Does dlro trouble still pursue?
Laugh and lmstlo!
When tho clouds o trouble lower,
Don't get morose, sad and sour
Just turn on a little power.
Laugh and hustlo!
Does it seem that you are stucit?
Laugh and hustle:
Aro you up against tough luck?
Laugh and hustle!
Grit your teeth, spit on your hands;
Gather up the broken strands,
Tackle ill luck where it stands.
Laugh and hustlo!
Does the world look sad and blue?
Laugh and hustlo!
That's when things aro up to you.
Laugh ai . hustie!
Just when worst of luck appears
Don't give up to foolish tears
Banish all your doubts and fears.
Laugh and hustle!
Are you lagging in the race?
Laugh and hustle!
Are you running second,' place?
Laugh and hustle!'
Hold your head up good and high;
Keep on going ne'er say die
And you'll got there by and by.
Laugh and hustle!
Good old world if tackled right.
Laugh and hustle!
Lots of good things yet in sight.
Laugh and hustlo.
Live j'our life upright and square;
Keep on striving, fighting fair,
And in good timo you'll "get there"
Laugh and hustle!
THE POETRY OF PERCENT
(At the annual banquet of Groups
One and Two, Nebraska Bankers' As
sociation, Dr. P. L. Hall, toastmaster,
the following response was made to
the toast, ."The Poetry of Percent.")
Mr. Toastmaster and "Brother Bank
ers:" I am deeply grateful for an
opportunity to meet bankers in a new
relation; to be. able to transact busl
uoss with you at a banquet board in
stead of a desk, and to be permitted
to say my say without prefacing it
with .any hard luck story or roseate
dreams of what I will be able to make
if only I can have the favor of an
"accommodation." Indeed, my ex
perience with bankers has heretofore advantageous spot
things, because they are so different.
Perhaps that is the reason that the
toastmaster happened to think of
poetry while thinking of banking. The
business world depends in vast meas
ure upon the banking business, but
sad and unlovely indeed would this
old world be were it not for the poets
of yesterday and today. Great as tho
good may be that your profession has
conferred upon the world, I leave it
to you if the immortal songs of the
greatest poet the world has ever
known, with their realth of faith and
hope and love and kindness have not
wrought greater blessings; for in the
unsurpassed songs of David tho Min
strel boy we soar aloft on the wings
of the spirit, forgetting the world and
its sordid cares, and get a glimpse be
yond the pearly gates where care
and sorrow are forgotten, and all is
joy and peace.
Speaking of Biblical characters re
minds me of something. I never heard
of any poets being scourged from the
temple.
Two little girls, chancing to become
neighbors, began forming an acquain
tance after the manner peculiar to
childhood.
"My papa is a professional man,"
boasted one.
"Huh, my papa is a professional
man, too," retorted the other.
"Well, what is your papa?"
"My papa is a banker. What is
your papa?"
"My papa is a poet." .
"Huh," retorted the banker's daugh
ter, "that ain't a profession it's a
disease.
Poetry may be either sad or joyful
generally the former. It's usually
according to how the writer thereof
looks upon the world. If the world
looks right the poetry will usually be
bright, and vice versa. At any rate
the poet's intentions will be honor
able, however much we may depre
cate his efforts. It all depends upon
the point of view. I might be able
to find more poetry in percent if I
could only look at it from your view
point. There must, however, be some
poetry in percent, for doth not Byron
say
"There's music in the sighing of a
reed;
There's music in the gushing of a rill;
There's music in all things, if men
had ears;
Their earth is but an echo of the
spheres."
Perhaps I might catch more of the
poetry of percent if I could find an
upon which to
tfor tho man owned by money there
is no poetry in life, and the life with
out poesy and music is not worth the
living.
There's rhythm and rhyme in the
world's busy marts
If only we're striving to mind it.
And poverty stricken indeed are the
hearts
That never endeavor to find it.
There's music in work of the hand or
the brain,
And some of the sweetest that I
know
Is found in the gleesomo-and gladsome
refrain
In the rhythm and rhyme of the
"rhino."
n-PI-i-X 4-l--k 4 wt .. AU. -
7 ir ""i"vemcnis were made
freights rates were hoisted another
notch. The people Immediately sent
a committee to see the magnate
"You told us that the completion
of the improvements would enablo
you to lower the rates," said the
spokesman.
"To be sufe I did," replied the mag.
nate. "We can lower tho. rates wlieu
we please. Good day."
Since then the people have been in
quiring into the subleties of the laug
uage with a view of meeting magnates
on their own ground.
Brain Leake
is not
pigheaded-
But solemn and sad doth the music
become
When tuned to mere- love of pos-
' session.
It freezes the heart till' it's pulseless
and dumb
And halts all real business progres'
sion. '
But tuned to the love of our homes
and our wives
We watch the old dolldr mark sign
grow,
And catch laughter and love as the
joy of our lives
In the rhythm and rhyme of the
"rhino."
The jangle of coin that is selfishly won
And used to the harm of a neighbor
Will never e blest in the work it has
done,
Or bring sweet reward for its labor.
But honestly won and as honestly
spent
Its music will ring out so fine-o
That the old world will smile in the
peace of content
At the rhythm and rhyme of the
"rhino."
Why He Failed
"Did Schemerly succeed in floating
that company he organized?"
"No; he scored a great failure. He
put so much 'water in the stock that
there was nothing left for it to float
in."
Puzzled
"I called on our new neighbor, Mrs.
Nurich, this afternoon, and ever since
I came home I have been wonde?
ing."
"What about?"
"I smelled gasoline the minute I en
tered the house, and I've been wonder
ing whether Mrs. Nurich had just re
turned from an auto ride or whether
she had been cleaning her gloves."
been characterized with a solemn stand and strain mv listen In o- onrs
- - - . --. V.HC- Wl M
Biuneuesa umi nas uecome woeiuuy
monotonous. The damnable reitera
tion of tho familiar phrase, "Ninety
days after date I promise to pay,"
etc., etc., has come to grate upon my
sensitive feelings, and I leave it to any
fair-minded gentleman prosent and
you aro all fair-minded if it is not
the sublimity of sarcasm on the part
of my good friend, Dr. Hall, to as
sign to me, who stands at the other
end of the percentage table from you,
tne topic or -mo Poetry of Percent."
There must certainly be some
poetry about percent, for poetry has
feet, and experience leads me to be
lieve that percent must also have feet,
lor now eiso couiu tne blamed thing
travel upward and onward so fast?
If ability to travel swiftly increases
in ratio with the number of feet pos
sessed by tho traveler, then indeed
must percent be able to give a thou-Band-legged
worm cards and spades
and big casino.
Some things reminds us of other
Just behind the bronzed barred and
ornamented window is, I imagine, the
best vantage ground for that kind of
a concert.
But there is, my friends, poetry in
all that is honest and useful. There is
poetry in the lovelight that shines in
the eyes of thoso dear to us. There
is poetry in the sweat and toil that
produces tue daily bread for loved
ones. There i; poetry in every pro
fession and pursuit that has for its
ultimate aim and end something high
er and nobler than sordid selfishness.
There is poetry in everything about
us if only we attune our ears to hear
instead of stopping them up with the
cotton of indifference and bending our
energies to satisfying the greed for
gain that has nothing better behind
it than tho mere love of possession.
I would rather be the starved poet
in the garret than to be the slave of
greed for gold. The man who owns
money may be happy the man who is
owned by his money can never be.
Modern Definitions
Vested Rights Something you have
no right to but are strong enough to
keep.
Standpatter Either a man who dis
likes tho idea of letting go of the swag
or a man who can not see' that he is
being bilked.
Trustee of Providence An insuffi
cient excuse for monopoly.
Community of Interest A thin' dis
guise for financial highwaymen.
Protection Synonym for graft.
Pacification Compelling the other
fellow to be satisfied whether he is
or not.
Our Subtle Language
The people were about to take mat
ters in their own hands and insist up
on lower freight rates, when the mag
nate appeared and said:
"To arbitrarily lower our rates at
this time would seriously cripple some
great improvements we are contem
plating. If we are not molested now
wo will be able to so improve our
service that we will be enabled to low
er the rates much more than this
measure contemplates."
Being somewhat unsophisticated the
people agreed to wait. Long months
Steadfastness
ness.
A thing worth having is worth going
after.
Love of home is the foundation of
patriotism.
Punctuality is the advance guard
of progress.
Selfishness and stinginess are not
evidences of thrift'
Today is the crucial point of yes
terday and tomorrow.
Charity given to cover a sin is a
thin and gauzy garment.
Men who ride hobbies, never walk
in the footprints of others.
Have you ever wondered if a "sum
mer girl" is as cool as she looks?
Christianity is vastly more than be
ing good through fear of punishment.
The man who aults work by the
clock will always have to work by tho
clock.
It is unsafe to intrust an important
matter to a man who has nothing else
to do.
A kind word to the living is bet
ter than a hothouse full of flowers
for the dead.
Keeping sweet during house clean
ing time is the supreme test for both
husband and wife.
The less a man does around his
cottage the more he believes he could
do around a mansion.
One trouble with most would-bo
reformers is that they begin at the
wrong end of the task.
The man who stops to wave a big
stick at every dog that barks at him,
will not go far in a day.
Ever notice how much harder the
wooden pev of a church is than the
wooden chair in an opera house?
The man whose idea of content
ment is nothing at all to do has no
conception of the meaning of the
word.
The average housewife's idea of
a competent man is one who can beat
a rug or carpet jo her complete sat
isfaction. What always amuses us is the spec
tacle of a man wearin;- a high collar
in the summer criticising women for
some of their styles.
We always find it difficult to mus
ter up any sympathy for the man
whose troubles are the result of Ins
ovn deliberate foolishness.
The man who remains outside of
the church because of the number of
hypocrites inside of it, should take
a census of his surroundings.
We often wonder if preachers grow
as tired of a chicken diet as we do of
hearing the joke, about preachers lov
ing "yellow-legged chickens."
There is a vast difference between
contentment and satisfaction. A man
may. be satisfied with his accomplish
ments and not be content to let it go
at that.
There are a lot of people who have
acquired prominence by their front
door pretensions who ought to uo
measured ly their back porch conditions
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