u
The Commoner.
VOLUME 5, NUMBER 15
10
iWU-
My Greatest Pleasure
Speaking of tho greatest pleasure
given men,
Lot mo toll you what I think tho
very best.
,It Is In tho eaily dawn of morning
when
I havo had a dreamless night of per
fect rest
And I'm wakonod when tho sun poops
' warm and clear
By a voico that sets my senses in a
whirl;
Sounding as tho sweetest music in my
ear
"Mornin', papa! I'so your pwecious
littlo dirl."
Oarklng caro that often follows
through tho night
Flees boforo thoso lisping tones from
baby lips;
And the burden cf lifo'.j never ending
fight
For tho moment froix my weary
shoulder slips.
JPvcry burden, every caro, and every
woo
Prom my mind in keenest ecstasy J
hurl
When I hear that baby vice at dvni
ing's gjow
"Mornin', papa! I'so your pwecious
littlo dirl."
Through tho day tho lisping "welcome
, fills with cheer,
And I grasp with addod zest tho
work I do.
Cloudy skies, "besot with trouble,
w quickly clunr,
And tho sunlight, growing brighter,
glistons through.
Lighter grows tho burden through the
passing day
When I hear amidst tho work hours'
busy whirl
Lisping lips like ripened cherries
sweetly-say
"Mornin', papa! I'so your pwecious
little dirl."
All the gold in famed Golconda's rich
est ore;
All the precious 'gems of princes and
of kings;
All tho wealth that richest nations
hold In store,
I'd not take and miss tho music when
It rings
In tho early hours that mark the dawn
of day,
j And tho baby's smile in. frame of hair
I acurl
Greets my gaze, and I can hear her
sweetly say
- "Mornin', papa! I'so your pwecious
, littlo dirl."
"Success
"Well, how are you making it with
your poetry now?"
"Fine. I'm already ahead of the
game."
"That's good."
"You hot. Tho publisher had to put
two cents moro on the last manuscript
I sent him than I enclosed for return
postage."
The Reason
"My poor man, what brought you to
this sad plight?" queried the kind
hearted visitor as she stopped before
the door of cell No. 41144.
"I'm hero because me bump of lo
cation is a dent," replied Billy the Bug.
"I do not understand," said tho vis
itor. "Well, dere ain't no puzzle about
it," replied Billy tho Bug. "Mo bump
o location Is a dent in me skull.
Dat's why I tried to lift do bank's
bundlo from do outside instead o' git
tin' a job as de trusted cashier on de
inside."
the next twelve months. This implies
no obligation but is merely a courtesy
which wo are glad to extend to our
lawmakers."
Whereupon the legislator, quick to
scorn an offer of free board, accepted
the tender of free transportation which
represented more money thanthe ses
sion's board bill.
The amount of legislation In the in
terests of the people at that session
of tho legislature could be thrust into
a jaybird's eye without forcing it to
wink..
The Ownership of the Ox
- The trust magnate was visited by a
committee representing the union men
in his employ and asked if he would
enter into a contract to pay a certain
minimum scalo of wages for a certain
period.
. "Certainly not," responded the mag
nate. "Tho courts have held that it
is contrary to the constitution and to
public policy to enter into any con
tract that interferes with the individ
ual liberty of any man the liberty
to work for whom he pleases, when he
pleases and for whatsoever wage he
pleases. Gentlemen, I appreciate your
position, but I can not ignore the laws
of my country."
Being law-abiidng citizens the mem
bers of the labor committee withdrew
to think it over.
A day or two later the magnate was
compelling his customers to sign con
tract not to; handle any other brands
of goods on penalty of being deprived
of tne sale of the goods controlled by
himself.
"Being a good citizen and law.-abld-lng,"
said the magnate, winking slyly
to himself, "I can not enter into any
contract with the socialistic and dis
turbing organizations known as labor
unions."
Moral: Very often the courts have
been fixed beforehand.
"" The Result
"I hoar that Bilkins started a 'news
paper to fill a long felt want.
;did ho como out?"
"Jrle came out with a fill
wanted."
How
long
Sincerity
"Woro the Easter services at your
( kShurch inspiring?"
"Dear me, no. It rained all day and
not a-slnglo woman present could wear
' her new hat and gown."
Ruined
"Captain, wo aro ruined!" gasped
, the' lieutenant of tho Russian battle
' ship, staggering to the bridge.
"What is wrong now?" queried Can-
. tain SlavonsklskyBki.
"That last Japanese torpedo knocked
every consonant out of the ship, sir."
With a shudderlrfg cry of hopeless
.rage the Russian captain ordered the
striking of the colors.
Distinction vs. Difference
The member-elect of the state legis
lature stood upon the corner, waiting
for tho car and growing stoop-shouldered
with the weight of the cares of
state. The representative of the rail
road corporations approached and
after a short conversation said:
"Mr. Soandso, the X., Y. & Z. rail
road has watched your career with
great interest. It sees in you a states
man who is bound to become widely
Imown throughout the land.-' We are
always trying to encourage men like
you, for this country needs the serv
ices of men of integrity, ability and
standing. It would give me pleasure,
as the representative of the X., Y. &
Z. railroad to offer to pay your hotel
bills while attending the session."
"Sir," exclaimed tho legislator, "I
scorn your proffered bribe. I am here
in the interests of the people."
Tne abaslied representative of the
transportation corporation blushed and
humbly apologized.
"At any rate;" said he, "please ac
cept this bit of pasteboard which en
titles you ta free'transportatjon' for
yourself and wife over our Hne3 for
Shop Talk
The newspaper humorist, after read
ing many advance notices of Arbor
day, decided that it was his bounden
duty to plant a tree on the anniver
sary. Being a busy man he decided to dig
the hole the day before, and this he did
with much trouble and the lavish
waste of perspiration from pores un
used to marking such demonstrations
of physical dnergy. Bright and early
on the morning of Arbor day he arose,
seized upon the tree the nurseryman
had sent in response to the or,der, and
fared forth to plant a tree.
"Gives me a regular Henry W. Long
fellowish feeling," chuckled the news
paper humorist, prancing gaily around
to the front yard, tree on shoulder and
spade dangling from his good right
hand."
"Papa always threw a handful of
potatoes into the hole when he planted
a tree," declared Mrs. Humorist, who
come out to superintend the job, apron
over her head. "He said they drew
moisture to the roots and made the
tree grow better."
"That was all right in your papa's
day, my dear," replied the newspaper
humorist, "but your papa is about thir
ty years behind the times. Just watch,
me. I'll put this piece of drain tile
slaunchwlse Into the ground, and -when
we pour water into it the moisture will
go, right to the foots instead of being
wasted. Great idea, eh?"
Mrs. Humorist admitted that it was,
and then insisted that the tree be
leaned a little to the right.
The newspaper humorist set up the
tree tamped a little dirt around the
roots, then stood off to one side and
squinted to see if the tree was plumb.
"Hello," called a voice.
The newspaper humorist looked up
and saw Binks, the clothier, going by.
"Hello, yourself,',' replied the news
paper humorist.
"Planting a tree, eh?" said Binks.
"Nope building a house."
"Another one of your jokes, eh?"
said Binks. "What kind of a tree is
mat?"
"Don't know. Told the nurseryman
to send me a good, hardy, quick-growing
shade tree, and this Is it."
Binks walked into the yard, exam
ined the tree closely, then began to
cttuckle.
"Funny, Is it?" queried the news
paper humorist.
"Mighty funny," replied Binks. "That
nurseryman was on, all right. He sent
you just the right kind of a tree."
"wnat kind Is It?" queried the news
paper humorist, not suspecting anything.
"Chestnut," said Binks, chuckling
more ana Hastening on down
plunge into an orgy of freakish isms
arp now being industriously circu
lated. This is jl theme on which the
so-called conservative element of tho
democratic party harpeS long and do
lorously, and with such success that
the party yielded to the importunity
of conservatism and turned over the
party management to the "safe and
sane" and, incidentally,to the biggest
Waterloo in' the partys history.
The only vital force in the demo
erotic party today is to be found in its
radical wing, and the same is true of
the republican party. The bigness of
Roosevelt lies in his departure from
his party's precedents. It isn't so long
ago since the viceroy of a republican
president, whose word was law in his
party, said "There are no trusts."
Would any of Roosevelt's close advis
ers presume to make such a state
ment today? Today a republican pres
ident says we must curl) corporate
power; that corporations must obey
the law. He seems to be committed
to the enforcement of the criminal
provisions 'of the anti-trust law, and
the spectacle of some multi-millionaire '
convicts is a probability. A republi
can president wants government di
rection of railroads. This is radical
ism with, a vengeance. Such senti
ment would have been almost anarchi
cal in the time' of Roosevelt's prede
cessor, but today they win the ap
plause of the rank and file regardless
of political cast.
Municipal ownership of public util
ities has come to be necessary in the
process of industrial evolution. Wholly
irreconcilable are the attitudes, of
those newspapers which view with,
entire complacency the swaggering, in
solent defiance of law by monopoly
but behold black menace in the as.--sertion
of the people that they have
the right to enjoy that which is their
own.
Radicalism is today the voice - of
authority not' only in politics but in
religion. Today a church that ac'j
cepts Rockefeller's money stultifies It- 1
self in the moral verdict of the peo
ple. It wasn't so a few years, ago.,
Washington Gladden is today a radi
cal, but his radicalism has promoted
him from one of the biggest to the big
gest figure in the Congregational
church.
The newspapers that are scoffing at
municipal ownership today were, a
few years ago, ridiculing the possibil
ity of the. trust evil becoming a na
tional mena'ce. The newspapers that
a few years hence oppose municipal
ownership of public utilities will be
few in number and with an exclusive
circulation among a limited list of mil
lionaire subscribers. Joplin Daily
Globe.
still
town.
A few moments later there remained
nothing but a mound of fresh dirt to
marie tne spot,, and the newspaper hu
morist was out in the alley with an ax
muttering to himself as he hacked
away at a dilapidated looking sapling.
RADICALISM
The republican press of the country
refuses to stay on the right track
very long. The result of the Chicago
election, which was a declaration for
municipal ownership of public util
ities, is now being widely lambasted
as .a step, towards socialism- and pre
dictions that the democratic party will
Eyelet Embroidery
This is simply the old-fashioned
"broiderie Anglaise," or Madeira work,
so well known to our grandmothers.
It promises to be the most popular
mode of decoration for summer frocks.
It is one of the daintiest as well as
the simplest of embroideries, and, best
of all, with a little practice any one
can do the work at home. It is es
pecially durable, and the work is done
with fine marking cotton, . and the
round openings, or eyelets, are made
with a stiletto, the oval openings be
ing cut. Ex.
Nan Patterson, on trial for the kill
ing of Caesar Young, now shares her
cell with her sister, Mrs. J. Morgan
Smith. The latter was arrested and
brought to-New York a fewweeks ago,
chagod with complicity in the crime.
TAKE NO RISK
If you havo heart trouble, do not fall to take.
Dr. Miles' Heart Cure. In doinffthis you run nos
.risk, because .it cures when everything else
fails. It Is so sure to help you that every drug-:
Gist Is instructed toiroturn your money If first
bottle does not prove beneficial. In either cas
you take no risk. -
&(HH
K.
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- . M.
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