The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923, March 10, 1905, Page 10, Image 10
m IWWI The Commoner. VOLUME 5, NUMBER Down Irv Karvsan They arc nmd and bound to fight, Down in Kansas. They've rolled up their sleeves, all right, Down in -Kansas. They are pawing up the soil, And their blood is on the boil, They arc after Standard Oil, Down in Kansas. They are tired of Standard greed, Down in Kansas. They refuse to longer bleed, Down in Kansas. If there's gore that must be shed Rockefeller will be bled, And they'll sure come out ahead, Down in Kansas. They arc making business hum Down in Kansas. They'll put Standard on the bum, Down in Kansas. For when she gets fighting hot She is "Johnny-on-the-Spot," And they'll bump the trust a lot, Down in Kansas. They are mad and wading in, Down in Kansas. They are bound to fight and win, Down in Kansas. And the "system" might as 'well Tuck its tail and run like fury, For they've tolled its funeral knell, Down in Kansas. And wo all admire the pluck Shown by Kansas. Hero's a wish for her good luck, Nervy Kansas. When she lands on Standard's neck, Makes the greedy "system" wreck, Then the right will be on deck, Down in Kansas. say about my foolish desire for great riches?" After' accumulating a few more tons of gold in a vain effort to satisfy his physical appetite, Midas thought a great thought. "But, after all," he muttered, "they will hardly call me a 'frenzied finan cier.' " Even in his hour of gloom Midas managed to pick out a slight beam of light. Dr. Osier's Mlstako We are told by Dr. Osier that a man is 'on the bum" When he's past the age of forty that his useless days have come; That he's only fit for slaughter and a nuisance to abate When his two-score years have ended and his day is growing late. But I'll say to Dr. Osier that he's off about a mile, And his little fulmination only causes mo to smile. For I've passed the age of forty and I'm feeling fit and fine, Conscienco clear, digestion easy and a good wife's hand in mine. His Roasorv Mrs. Nuwed: "Why do you not take a bath? I-Iltto DeIthodc3: I am prejudiced er gin water, mum. Mrs. Nuwed: Why so? Hitto DoRhodes: "I invested do for tuno mo undo loft mo in Wall street stocks, mum; an' I ain't got done shud uerin' at do leakage yit. When a follow reaches forty, if he's acted on the square, Ho should find earth's choicest bless ings ready, waiting for him there. Ho has learned life's richest lessons and is then prepared to do Something for the world he lives in as ne journeys giauiy tnrougn. "Worthless at the ace of fortv?" Os ier's talking through his hat! Forty, just the age for doing; let the doc remember that. I have passed the age of forty and I'm feeling fit and fine, Health and strength and joys of home life, and a baby's hand in mine. I have come to press my suit for " Miss DeScadds Mr. Hunter, you have made a mistake. The tailor shop is five blocks down the street Good evening, sir!" Brain Leaks The bird on the hat sings no songs to spring. The best way to have a good time is to do good. The Prince of Peace did not carry a "big stick." The workman who watches the clock can not watch his work. The day is always shori. to the man who is engrossed in his work. Truth is stranger than fiction be cause we do not meet it so often. The man who gets the most out of life is the man who puts the most into it. Some men hide their candles under bushels because they are not big torches. The best compliment you can pay to a woman is to eat at her table like you were half-starved. The man who mourns today about tho losses of yesterday is accumulat ing nothing for tomorrow. When a fellow keeps the peace by frightening his comrades into submis sion we usually call him a "bully." As long as the world expects every young man to sow wild oats there will be a continual harvest of whirlwinds. The successful man goes about his business with the same energy that a terrier displays when you yell "rats!" in its ear. -. Abbreviated Said themaid to the bashful young Mr I am sorry, but I'll bo your Sr." But the young man was wiao Anu no saw by her eyes no meant a "yes," so he Kr. Topsy Turvy T. Rout Poor Bass; he is going the pace altogether too fast. C. Roppie What's the matter with him? T. Rout 0, since he lost his money in that angleworm mine he has been drinking like a man. The man who does no more than he is paid to do is usually the man who is complaining about not getting whao he is worth. Big men are not always the bravest. We know a six-foot man who walks the chalk when his five foot wife speaks the word. John Barleycorn has given many a man an exhibition of the jiu-jitsu method of getting on top with the man as the under dog, We may be a bit old-fashioned, but we never did enjoy the music made by a girl whose mother was washing dishes in the kitchen. That her Sonator Grbed! pier yU tak uo intorcst in tue Pe- Senator Graball looked at his con- Well, 1 m realizing considerable on myiyestment among the voters of my Financial "But is there any money in this gold mine your are exploiting'" J'Ani money in it? Well I should eay so! I put it there myself. That's why I am trying to sell this stock Coming A little warning I give you Now ponder deep upon it The time is near when you are due To buy an Easter bonnet. A ribbon and a bit of lace, Some feathers and some wire; A little jet tho whole to grace And prices mounting higher. Spring I saw a robin yesterday. Ha3 spring been sprung? I saw the boys at marbles play. iaa aynug neon sprung? saw an Easter hat displayed saw a tramp hunt for the shade saw some flower beds newly made Has Spring been sprung? Mythological Midas was ernwlno- i, and fhirsty, ltm did he touch fooul w go d; did ho touch water, it, too turned to gold. ' ' "This is becoming monotonous murmured Midas. "What win posterity I saw a kite go sailing high Ha3 spring been sprung' I saw smoke in the alley' nigh Has spring been sprung? I saw some buds upon the trees; I felt a balm upon tho breeze Kerchew! Kerchew! 0, hear me sneeze' Yes, spring's been snmn, eeze' springs been sprung. Tho wise fearful lest man avoids temptation, he be weak enough tn succumb. The foolish man hunts it wuu me intention of strength. showing his Tht Forgery Dero teecher, pleze excuse my sun Fer absents yisterday; .; I hadd to have him home because My servint went away. , He washes dishes, swepes an' dusts As expert as cud be; We're all soe prou'd of him at home, Hos such a helpp to mo. h "Say, mother," he sez yisterday. ' 'Wo kids all luve Miss Drew- She s jist ez nice ez she kin be, An mighty pretty, too." An when I maid him stay at home, His fase growed awful sadd. Sn fc ,SGe. t,eecher. then," he sez; "Alass! ain't thatt too badd'" M?TS.Un Tie? a11 my notes r me He's ritin' this to you- I hirt my hand a weko ago. Or maybo it was two. But Willie's such a darlin' bnv Sartorial WO S lielpned mo nil Tin ,,i..' F. Ortune Hunter ivnca n. Excuse his absents, if v i Imogcno, dear-behold moaTyourTeV ?? tru,y- Mr: Wood ' """' ' wot -Bide Dudley in Kansas City star. Free 68-Paee Book animal Cures uYJlG Aci? Dseases.. Kidneys, Bladder, Rheumatism Free Treatment Prorea tho Curo: FrTi lustrated Book Tells all About it-! Bend For Them Both Today, To Readers of tho Commoner. If you oran pnoyoa know of Is suffering from n disease of thckidncyB, tho bladder or anyformofrhcumn tiarn, you aro urgontly iuvited to send nameand address to get a free trial treatment of a won. derful non-alcoholic discovery by the celebrated Kidney Disease Bladder Trouble Rheumatism Aro you In tho (crip of a Urlo Acid Dlncaocl Thll wilt euro yaui provu u iree. 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