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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 3, 1905)
iZ'TTrjnrtffwm uifr ll'wlliWPPPfflWPPi it. s The Commoner, VOLUME 5, NUMBER 3 10 411ilft"3ik A FoLtnllocr Illnosa Thoro arc muny fell diseases that man kind Is subject lo Which havo stumped the learned doc tors till they don't know what to do; Though thoy'vo made some great ad vances In the wondrous healing art And can nut a man together when thoy'vo carved him all apart. But there's one dlscaso that balks thorn; for a euro they search In vain; Thoy can dlagnoRo correctly, but they can not euro the pain. 'Tls a grievous complication without parallel or match This queer "Sunday morning sickness" that small boys so often catch. Onco tho smallpox was considered a disoaso boyond a cure, And a man who caught the phthisic' well, ho was a goner, suro. Long ago when one's appendix went upon an angry strike For tho sad-eyed undertaker somo near friend would quickly hiko. But tho medical profession found a euro for these at la3t And most danger from such sources is a mom'ry of tho past. But tho old, familiar illness has no an tidote to match, That old "Sunday morning sickness" that small boy3 so often catch. 'Tls a sudden kind of illness that de velops quick and fast. It Logins about 9:30 and by 11:00 it has passed. Thon at 12:00 tho little victim is as chippor as a bird vT And no murmurs or complainings from tho little tlko is heard; But whllo ho Is in tho clutches of this dreadful malady Ho appears to bo tho victim of the direst agony. All tho pains and gripes and achings that the wily microbes hatch Aro in "Sunday morning sickness" that small boys so often catch. Whon tho Sunday morn is breaking then arise the small boy "With a body full of vigor and his eyes alight with joy. And ho sings and whistles gaily through tho quiot Sunday morn Till ho hears tho church bells ringing then in misery forlorn Ho boelns to groan and mutter and with pains his frame is torn. Naught in drugs has over cured him only tlmo from pain can snatch ' Tho small boy from "Sunday sickness" which he is so prono to catch. Precept nd Examplo Hon John Slvitor Jones was woe fully shocked. By accident ho visited his wo 1 appointed stables and discov- --v ... jumifc mm ungagea in match ing pennies with a newsboy who had sneaked in through tho alloy t i o,nI?' my hoy" exclaimed Hon John Slvitor Jones in a sad tone of voice, "I am surprised and pained to seo you gambling, it well nigh breaks your father's heart. Do not, I beg of you bo guilty of such a thing again This and much more In a similar strain did Hon. John Slvitor Jo5e?8ay to his son, tho tears standing in his eyes meanwhile. 1S Thon Hon. John Slvitor Jones caught a car and proceeded to his office in tho Board of Trade building. After careful y reading tho crop reports he gave lis broker orders to sell 10,000 bushels of wheat he novor owned, to sell 1 000 ba? rols of oil never pumped, o Si 50 J bales of cotton never picked, to buy 10,000 bushels of corn never husked, to buy 1,000 tierces of lard never rendered, to buy 1,000 barrels of pork never packed and to sell 100,000 shares in tho Amalgamated Blue Sky and Au roral Boreal is Promotion company that he never owned. And all tho while Hon. John S'iviter Jones felt badly because he had de tected his young hopeful engaged in the awful sin of gambling by matching pennios in tho barn. Passos Suffice it to say this is a true story, and tho scone was laid in a western state, tho time being coincident with tho session of the legislature. It was on a passenger train on a branch lino, tho train consisting of a combination mail, baggage and smoker and day coach two cars. Tho road was fear fully rough and the passengers were jolted up and down in a bone-breaking manner. A newspaper man and his father, who happened to be a minister of the gospel, occupied a rear seat in tho day coach. When the conductor reached them tho newspaper man, tak ing advantage of a long and intimate acquaintance, said: "Why'n tho name of goodness don't tho management of this road level up tho track and make some improve ments?" The conductor tore out a strip of edi torial mileage, jabbed it viciously with his punch and retorted: "Level up, nothing! How can tliev? I've got twenty-three passengers on this train seventeen annual passes, one kid ticket, three full fares, a cler gyman's half fare permit and one edi torial mileage book." Tho explanation was sufficient and the topic of conversation was changed. TKo Dlfferonoo Tho manufacturer insists upon set ting tho price on the labor he buys and the goods he sells. That is called "business." Tho workingman aslra the privilege of having a voice in setting the price of his commodity, labor, and wants to be protected against the rapacity of trusts and combinations. That is called "anarchy." Manufacturers combine to raise the price by limiting the supply of goods manufactured. That is called "high finance." "Workingmen organize unions to pre vent injustice and to elevate the stand ard of labor. That is called "interfering with free and independent labor." A trust is formed to buy up small and independent factories and close them down for the purpose of controll ing mo supply. That is called "business enterprise " Labor unions seek to control the ap prentice svstem to the end that labor be not reduced to a starvation basis That is called "preventing the youth r i m learninS useful A financier steals a million entrusted to ins care. naTncGe." " aS a "NaPleoa . "- A workingman steals a loaf of bread ion tor ;m"rv Mnbies and is sen to .laii for six months. That is called "justice" A band of rich men combine to nrn vent chances in administration tw rogjt injure tbelr sclTomes A Thov are called "conservatives " A band of thoughtful men "with no axes to grind associate themselves to gether to bring about needed reiornis in governmenial allairs. Thoy are called "dangerous agita tors " A Rockerbilt social function costs $35,000 and $3,000,000 worth of dia monds aro on display. That is called an "evidence of pros perity." Ten thousand idle workingmen ap ply for help. That is called an "evidence of shift lessness." Clearly we are in need of a commis sion to reconcile the differences in our line of definitions. An Expert Cotton having jumped up to 12 cents a pound the manager of the big cotton mill called his 10,000 operatives to gether and said: "Owing to the high price of cotton and the decreasing demand for our product we are compelled to make a reduction of 25 per cent in your wages. We hope the reduction will be only temporary." It being dead of winter and nothing doing elsewhere, the operatives were forced to accept the reduction. Just as the first signs of spring ap peared the raw cotton market went "plunk" and the price dropped to 6 cents a pound. Then the manager of the big mill called his 10,000 operatives together and said: "Owing to tho unprecedented low price of cotton and the decreasing de mand for our product we are com pelled to make another reduction of 25 per cent in wage3. We trust that the reduction will be only temporary." Then the 10,000 operatives, realizing that they might just as well starve in idleness as to starve at work, went on a strike. Immediately a lot of newspapers be gan talking about their foolishness in trying to manage the mill owners' bus iness and denouncing the strikers as "anarchists" and "incendiaries." Not all the expert financiers are do ing business in Wall street. Prepared "But is the article you are preparing to market really meritorious?" queried the capitalist. "What's that got to do with it?" inquired the promotor. "I've got tlie finest line of advertising ever prepared and the plan for watering the stock and then freezing out the holders of the common beats anything you ever heard about." Corrected It being recitation day little Johnnie rushed to the platform and betran- "Tho little dog is-" g ''Do not forget the bow, Johnnie" interrupted the teacher "This dog I'm tellin' about don't bark," said Johnnie. "The little do etc., etc. " ' Unique "Old Blimson is the queerest rich man I've read about in a long time " .W7!!at's, t!ie matter wlHl Blimson?" Why, hes got ten million dollars and says he intends to die rich if he Tho Proof A man may boast his moral worth And of his virtues talk, ThI WU1 tIU8t the man wll cleans The snow from off his walk. Experienced cllngTtbo'hSYf111114 Slr! manased t0 v? i rS bel1 tonS"e and thus pre vented cfirfew from ringing." P Drain Leaks God says "go." S'atan says "come on." Personal purity is the forerunner of civic virtue. "Pluck" is the name that the idle give to perseverance. firnmhUner is tho trrHr. fhnf mnw i.. 0 a--", -., "'unco uut boxe3 on the wheels. .of enterprise. Sanctification does not mean keep ing apart from your neighbors. Trouble finds difficulty in enterin" tho home supplied with good bread. & Some men achieyp a reputation for plucTf by not learning when to let go. As long as we aro helping our fal len friends up they are not dragging us down. "Taking things as they come," is not optimism, and pointing out tho wrongs that abound is not pessimism. The fact of the matter is, we aro inclined to object to the whipping post for wife beaters. It isn't severe enough. In un eastern city recently a man was fined $10 and costs for beating his wife, and the same judge on the same day fined a driver $25 and costs for beating his horse. It seems that jus tice is experiencing difficulty in keep ing her blinders on straight. A well known multi-millionaire says he cured himself of dyspepsia by thor oughly masticating his food. -We know of many cases of hunger that might bo cured by the same means, providing this multi-millionairev would provide tho food. The German Jury System In this country a trial by jury comes to a stop when one of the jurymen be comes incapacitated for service by ill ness or from any other .cause. It is then necessary to draw a new jury and hold another trial, in order that twelve men may hear all the testi mony and render a verdict. In Germany a system prevails which does away with the possibility of such delay and expense. In the current is sue of the Political Science Quarterly there is a paper by Burt Estes Howard on "Trial by Jury in Germany," in which it is stated that in addition to the regular jury of twelve men one or Sawn Vmy jurymen are ors hv?n Gy Sit 7lth the reSular Jur- wUh Ihoi g eqUal, rights and duties f!H except ln the tosle matter Dating nS,rfldei!beration ad Partici RLl?8? after huifro Vvno i V7 ouuimea up and the ldl ha s delivered his charge. But !nnoL?ff orlSinal twelve becomes incapacitated at any point during a Si ni?8 Ppl,GI?entaiy Jwyman takes LVllLJy vested rotwi 'v"v-""" "J- tne one who has he votTf t0 CastIn a vot when the verdict is rendered. Thus the jury nuiraPUr,t0matlCally "P to thV wttwT?bep and thG trla Proceeds without interruption. ThiS arrflTl(rnrnn .. , nmi 0,.nTS ,. l euins so practical havo n Wf that ,f l3 awondermeasures niw -vV taKen coking to its adoption in New York and other states. Yr ,iends of the Ieeal profession E,VB Jn any objections which WOUld nffaof Uo jb.1l ., . o --..,. ito muuueac aavantages: liocnestor Democrat and Chronicle. Wgf Known tho wo fid ovoaa atanto cough and voico . lozenge, Sold only In box )mJ&l 1 'i-Jl
